‘I think I’ll make a cup of tea. You two want one?’ Carla said, looking at Maddy and Sam. A brief nod from both of them and she stood up and made her way to the kitchen. Shock had kept the three of them sitting in silence on the terrace when an agitated Josette had stood up saying, ‘I’m sorry. I think I’d better go. Thank you for today.’ Gordon had quietly said his goodbyes, taken her by the hand and left with her.
Carla had never felt less like tea, but she had to do something grounding to reassure herself she had a normal life when it felt like her whole world had fallen apart. Maddy too, she could tell, was struggling to take in the enormity of what she’d been told.
The day had been going so well until Josette had decided her birthday tea was the right time to break the silence of the past. Why had she done it today? The ramifications of admitting her true status in the family would taint her birthday for evermore.
Joel walked into the kitchen as she lifted the kettle to pour the boiling water and Carla glanced at him.
‘You’re looking serious.’
Joel hesitated. ‘I was about to join you on the terrace when Josette dropped her little bombshell. I’m sorry, I couldn’t help overhearing.’
‘Not sure that “little bombshell” is the right description. More akin to a nuclear explosion,’ Carla said, sighing. ‘We’re being very British and having a cup of tea. Want to join us? There’s cake as well.’ Carla placed four mugs, plates, knife, milk and sugar on a tray as she sensed Joel’s reluctance to intrude. ‘Please do join us,’ she said quietly as Joel hesitated. ‘I’d really appreciate it. We can pretend then it’s still a normal Saturday afternoon down on the Riviera.’
Joel took the tray from her and carried it out to the terrace table. The sparkler had burnt itself out and somebody had removed it from the cake and placed it to one side.
Carefully, Carla cut four slices and handed them round, praying as she did so that somebody would say something and break the awkward silence that hung in the air. When nobody did, she gave a strangled laugh and said. ‘Well, at least you’ve been spared my out of tune rendition of “Happy Birthday”, so that’s something to be thankful for.’
‘Mum, do you believe Josette?’ Maddy asked quietly. ‘It seems such a big lie to have been covered up for half a century.’
Carla sighed and nodded. ‘Well, we’ve always known there had to be some big reason for the feud for it to last so long, and Mum, sorry Amelia, would never talk to or about Josette, so yes, I do believe her.’
‘I suppose, too, once your grandparents had died there was no one else to talk to about it,’ Sam said thoughtfully.
‘There was always me! But none of them seemed to have ever considered it important enough for me or my family to know the truth,’ Carla said.
‘D’you think Granny Amelia found she couldn’t have any more children after the baby died and Josette offered to be a surrogate?’ Maddy twisted her mouth in concentration. ‘But then why hide the truth from you – and refuse to speak or see her? Oh!’
‘I hope you’re not thinking what I think you are,’ Carla said sharply. ‘Because your grandfather would never…’ but Maddy interrupted her.
‘Maybe Josette had an affair with Grampa, became pregnant and when she said she was going to get rid of the baby, he implored her to let him and Amelia have the baby to raise.’
Having played with her slice of cake rather than eaten it, Carla now pushed the resulting crumbs around the plate. ‘I have no idea what happened. I do know that I’m going to have to confront Josette and ask her to talk to me about the past and tell me the whole truth – as much as I dread hearing the details.’
‘Whatever Josette tells you will be one side of the story,’ Maddy said. ‘It’s too late now to talk to anyone else about it and get their version of what happened.’
‘One sided or not, it won’t alter the truth about my parentage,’ Carla answered. ‘But it will hopefully explain a…’ she hesitated. ‘A few things I’ve wondered about in the past.’
Maddy looked at her, but Carla shook her head.
‘I need to talk to Josette about my parents’ relationship. Get her to explain a few things I noticed down the years – if she can, of course.’
‘Probably more than you want to know,’ Maddy said, standing up. ‘I’m going to change and have a swim. Need some exercise to clear my head.’
Sam stood up too. ‘I’m going to investigate the Irish bar I saw earlier.’ He glanced at Joel. ‘Fancy joining me for a drink?’
‘Sounds like a plan,’ Joel said.
‘Supper at about seven,’ Carla told them. ‘You’re invited too, Joel.’
Sitting alone on the terrace after the two men had left and watching Maddy’s furious front crawl pounding length after length in the pool, Carla’s thoughts naturally centred around Josette’s thunderbolt announcement. An announcement that begged the question, if Josette was her mother, who was her father? Was Maddy right with her surrogate theory? Or had she been born as a result of her father and Josette having an affair? Something she found impossible to believe. Tiredly Carla buried her face in her hands and took a deep breath. Josette couldn’t drop a bombshell like she had and not expect more questions to be asked. Questions that Carla needed the answers to, even if she dreaded hearing them.
As for Josette, would the acknowledgement of their mother–daughter relationship today, destroy forever the easy comradeship that Carla had hoped and believed had been beginning to develop between them when they’d merely been aunt and niece? More to the point, did she still want to get to know Josette better? What if there were still untold secrets to be discovered?
Josette was unable to stop the violent shaking that overtook her body as she left the villa. Ignoring her protests that she was fine and just wanted to go home, Gordon took her to his apartment. ‘It’s about time you saw where I live,’ he said. ‘I warn you, there are a few stairs involved.’
Gordon’s top floor apartment was in one of the four storey houses situated in the old town with a view out over the Mediterranean. As Gordon led her through to the rooftop terrace, Josette ran her hand along the white grand piano that dominated the apartment.
‘Do you write your music on this? Getting it up the stairs must have been a nightmare!’
Gordon nodded. ‘I do. And it was. Had to come in through the window in the end. I had a lot of apologising to do the next day for the crane blocking the road for so long. Cost me a fortune in chocolates and wine for everybody. Even now I’m extra polite to the local gendarmes.’
While Gordon poured her the small medicinal brandy he insisted she needed, Josette stood on the rooftop terrace getting her breath back after the climb and taking in the view right across the bay to the distant mountains behind Nice.
‘It’s a lovely apartment. I thought you might live in one of the modern complexes by the marina,’ Josette said.
Gordon shook his head. ‘All glass and elevators? Not for me.’
Handing her the drink, Gordon watched and waited as she sipped it and the shaking calmed before stopping altogether.
Josette managed a smile and a quiet ‘Thank you.’
‘You’re not going to forget today’s birthday in a hurry, are you?’ Gordon said.
‘It’s definitely one of the most memorable I’ve ever had,’ Josette agreed with a wry smile. ‘I don’t know what possessed me to blurt out the truth today. I’d had such a lovely time with you all in Cannes, being thoroughly spoiled. You talking about honesty in the taxi got me thinking – not that I’m blaming you for anything of course,’ she added quickly, looking at him. ‘It’s just that I realised I wanted a chance to forgive myself for the past and for Carla to know the truth so that we could go forward to an honest, open future together.’ She finished the last of her drink before saying, ‘But blurting out the truth like I did will not have helped to achieve that. In fact, right at this moment I wouldn’t mind betting she hates me.’
‘I think right now her mind will be going round and round with several emotions. Love. Anger. Hate. You do realise she’s going to want the answers to lots of questions she’s bound to ask you?’
Josette nodded. ‘I also know the answers to those questions are likely to raise even more difficult, hurtful ones. I’m going to have to dig deep to find the courage to talk to Carla and pray she’ll forgive me.’
‘I expect Maddy will also want to talk to her grandmother,’ Gordon said, looking at her.
Josette sighed. ‘What have I done? Talk about Pandora’s box. I don’t want to be cast as the outsider again.’
‘I can understand that. May I ask you a question?’
Josette nodded. ‘Bien sûr.’
‘You went white and very quiet when Carla introduced Bruno Grimaud. I was wondering why?’
Josette, surprised he’d registered her reaction, hesitated before answering. ‘The Grimaud name was very common down here when I was growing up, you rarely hear it now. I suspect the older generation have died out and most of the young people have moved away for work. Hearing it was a shock – it brought back more memories of the past.’
‘Good ones or bad ones?’
‘Oh, you know what teenage memories are like – a real mixture,’ Josette said, hoping that Gordon wouldn’t probe any further.
Gordon nodded. ‘I do. Now, how do you feel about going to the cinema this evening and then coming back here for supper?’
Josette, about to protest that she’d rather go home and be alone to think about things, changed her mind. She didn’t really want to be alone with her thoughts. It was still her birthday, a visit to the cinema would be a treat and she enjoyed Gordon’s company.
‘Supper out here under the stars?’
‘If you want.’
‘Sounds like the perfect end to my birthday,’ Josette said. Standing on the rooftop terrace looking out to sea as Gordon placed his arm around her shoulders and gave her a reassuring squeeze, Josette sighed. Although the last few hours could never be undone and there would be repercussions, both known and unforeseen, from telling Carla and Maddy the truth, her heart felt strangely lighter. This time she wouldn’t be banished as punishment. This time she would stand and face the music.