Before
Music stores were like the third circle of hell. Men of various ages shuffling around, flicking at CD cases, plucking one from the rack and studying it before replacing it and continuing on and on and on. This one had a vague smell of greasy hair and dust. It was for serious music-lovers only. And their bored partners. And, God, she was bored.
To be fair, she only had herself to blame. Without once complaining, Greg had followed her around twenty shops looking for a gift for her mother, so she owed it to him to wait it out as he scoured the shelves for obscure releases by Tim Buckley and Leonard Cohen. But, seriously, how long did it take?
Ten almost unbearable minutes had given way to another ten in which the click-clacking of plastic cases made her want to scream for freedom. ‘They need chairs for bored girlfriends in this place. With maybe some magazines to read.’
‘Hmmm?’ Greg looked up, his eyes blurred. He was lost somewhere in music land. ‘Have you had enough?’
She felt bad then; he hadn’t murmured when she’d read the contents of every single ‘Mum’ card in Clintons. ‘No, it’s fine. I’m joking.’
Another five minutes passed. Click-clack. Shuffle shuffle. ‘I mean, if they had an area for girlfriends to sit, they might keep the boyfriends in here longer and then they might sell more.’
He laughed at her, knowing she wouldn’t say something that sexist and really mean it. ‘Why don’t you look for something. I’ll buy it for you. What music do you like?’
She hated this question. She knew she was supposed to say someone cool like The Cure or The Smiths but the truth was she liked pop music. How could she say that to Greg though? He would think her an idiot if she told him that her favourite album at the moment was *NSYNC’s Celebrity. They’d been dating for a few months, but there was still the risk that he would realise she was actually dull and clueless. What could she say? ‘Actually, I like lots of different stuff.’
Damn, he looked genuinely interested. His fingers didn’t leave their place on the CDs, but he put his head to one side and gave her his full attention. ‘Okay. Like who?’
Her mind went completely blank. She didn’t want to look stupid, not when things had been going so well between them. Although they were only six years apart in age, that felt like a lot of experience she needed to catch up on. Best to play it safe. ‘Actually, I have a lot of compilation albums.’
He shuddered. ‘Compilation albums? They are for people with absolutely no taste in music. The type of thing your nan buys you for Christmas. You need to find a band you like, or a singer. Wait a minute, I know what you might like.’ He moved up to the ‘K’ section and started to thumb through before plucking one out and waving it at her. ‘Here you go!’
He passed her a CD featuring a cool-looking woman in a bright green hat. ‘Who’s this?’
‘Alicia Keys. You must have heard her single? “Fallin’”? It’s been played relentlessly. You’ll love the album. It’s brilliant. Why don’t you come over to mine later? We can play the CD on my new stereo and you can hear how fantastic it is.’
She turned the CD case over and read the tracklist. Normally, she wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to spend the evening with Greg but there was a small problem. ‘I’m supposed to be seeing Dee later.’
Greg went back to flicking through the CD cases. ‘I would say we can all do something together but I don’t think she’d be keen on me hanging around. I think she’s cross with me.’
Shelley felt uneasy. She’d begun to suspect the same thing. ‘What makes you think that?’
Greg shrugged; he didn’t look hugely bothered. ‘Because I’m monopolising you. I think she feels left out.’
Shelley got that familiar fluttering feeling in her stomach. Confrontation made her uneasy. ‘That’s silly. She’s my best friend. You’re my boyfriend.’ She still got a thrill saying that word. ‘It’s two different things.’
Greg picked up another CD: Edie Brickell. ‘You might like this one too – it’s an old one but she’s got a great voice.’ He passed it to her. ‘I think I’m on Dee’s list.’
Dee used to say people were ‘on her list’ if they were annoying her or had done something to upset her. Greg’s mocking tone made Shelley regret telling him about it.
Shelley felt torn. It was horrible having to choose between the two of them. Dee was her best friend – they’d done everything together for the last seven years, including the trip around Europe. During that month they had become even closer, and Shelley wouldn’t have got through her homesickness and fears about new places if she hadn’t had Dee there to take her hand and pull her along. Sometimes literally.
Up until now, Dee had always been the one with the boyfriends. Outgoing, pretty and fun to be around, she was a magnet for boys. Shelley always ended up being the one chatting to Dee’s boyfriend’s creepy mate; there was always a creepy mate. Dee never left her out but it was uncomfortable being her accessory sometimes.
This time it was her turn. She was really falling for Greg and it seemed like he felt the same. After Dee had gotten over her initial annoyance, she had been all right about their relationship, but the more Shelley saw of Greg, the more irritated Dee got. Now she would sigh dramatically every time Shelley even mentioned his name. ‘That’s all you ever go on about these days,’ she’d said last night. ‘Greg this and Greg that. I’m bored of how great you think he is.’
Shelley was hurt. She hadn’t said she was bored when all Dee had wanted to do was lie on her bed crying because Pete Murphy had a new girlfriend. Or when she’d had to trail around the fair with Lanky Lewis because Dee fancied his best friend Lucas. Wasn’t it fair to expect that Dee might give her the same support?
She flipped over the Edie Brickell CD to read the tracklist: ‘What I Am’. What was she? A good best friend or a good girlfriend? And why wasn’t it possible to be both?
‘I’ll call Dee and see what she has planned for tonight. Maybe she’ll want to rearrange.’
‘It’s up to you. Let me buy these two CDs for you anyway. If we don’t get to listen to them tonight, you can take them home and we can listen to them together another time. Whatever you want. Or you can listen to them with Dee, give her a bit of a musical education instead of those boy bands she still listens to.’
Shelley laughed and sent up a silent prayer of thanks that she hadn’t mentioned *NSYNC. She would call Dee and invite her over to Greg’s flat to listen to these new albums. If the three of them spent some time hanging out together, it wouldn’t be so weird. Or maybe she should encourage Dee and Greg to spend some time together without her there to play referee?