“Is it true, Glen?” Roberta couldn’t hide her grin if she glued her lips together.
“Is what true?” Her brother sat on the milking stool and pretended to not know what she was talking about.
Roberta planted a hand on her hip and tapped her foot. She shouldn’t have to spell it out for her dim-witted bruder again. “Sammy Eicher. Is it true he’s out of jail?”
“How would I know?” Why was her bruder being so dumm? Of course, he’d know.
“You’re his best friend. If anyone knows, you should.” She pinned him with a stare. “Besides, Lena Bontrager saw his dat driving down the road and she was pretty sure and certain Sammy was in the buggy too.”
“What’s it to you, anyhow?”
“Well, I—”
“You still have a crush on him, don’t you?” He shook his head. “You’d be better off setting your sights on someone else. Sammy’s no good. And besides, he already has an Englisch girlfriend.” Glen scowled.
“I thought you said they broke up.”
“Don’t go spreading rumors, schweschder.” He aimed a teat in her direction and sprayed her with warm cow’s milk.
“Ach!” She wiped the milk from her face. Why did brieder have to be so exasperating?
“I said they should break up. Miranda’s too good for Sammy.”
“How can you say that about your best friend? And she is not too gut for Sammy.”
Roberta had seen the girl before, and quite frankly, she didn’t know what Sammy saw in her. Why, she didn’t even know how to dress properly!
Her conscience immediately pricked her. She really should be more charitable toward Miranda. It wasn’t her fault she was Englisch and didn’t know any better.
Her bruder laughed heartily. “I think you’re just jealous.”
“What? She’s the last person I’d be jealous of.” But then, Miranda did have Sammy. That alone was one thing to be jealous of if she admitted it to herself.
“Whatever you say, schweschder.”
“Sammy’s a gut man.”
“You only say that because you’ve got blinders on. This is the third time he’s been in jail, you know. He’s getting a reputation.” Glen pointed at her. “And if Dat had any idea that you have your kapp turned toward Sammy, you know he would forbid it outright.”
Roberta frowned. Was she the only one who saw the truth of the matter? It was obvious to her that Sammy Eicher was hurting deep down inside. He only did stupid things because he was grieving the loss of his mudder and didn’t know how to deal with it.
All he needed was someone to take his hand and show him that it was okay to pour his heart out to Gott. He didn’t have to be strong all the time or hide behind parties and alcohol and cars. What he needed was right in front of him.
If only…
Ach, her bruder was right. She shouldn’t be having fanciful thoughts about her bruder’s best friend. After all, Sammy was three years older than she was. He probably didn’t even know she existed as a woman.
Maybe that would change if Sammy began attending the young folks’ gatherings again. Jah, she’d pray for that.
* * *
Sammy blew out a breath and rubbed his clammy hands on his pant legs as he sat across from Dat in the living room. This was what he’d been dreading all day.
Dat held up the newspaper and Sammy cringed. “Want to explain this?”
Sammy shook his head. “Not especially.”
“Go on,” Dat prodded.
Suddenly his throat felt dry. “I, uh, we…attended the peace rally.”
“I see that.” Dat glanced at the paper. “And you felt the need to attend naked?” Dat’s eyebrow arched high.
“We aren’t naked, Dat. I just had my shirt off.”
“In front of a woman you are not married to? And a lot of other folks, by the look of it.” Dat’s frown deepened. “Is this the woman you’ve been seeing?”
Sammy eyed the photo of Miranda in her skimpy bikini top and he swallowed. “Jah, that’s Miranda.”
“And this is the type of woman, an Englischer, you would like to spend your future with?” Dat was too kind to say strange woman, as she’d be referred to in Proverbs. But Sammy knew what he was thinking just the same. How many times growing up had Dat brought those verses up during their family Bible reading time? How many times had he stopped during reading to explain what a strange woman meant, according to Der Herr’s Word?
Sammy thought of his phone call earlier. If his niggling feeling was correct… “Nee. She is not.”
“Help me to understand this, sohn.” Ach, had he ever seen Dat’s face so withdrawn? Not since Mamm’s funeral. “You know this is something that goes against our beliefs.”
“It was just a peace rally, Dat. It was a protest against the war. If you think about it, that’s what our people stand for too.” He reasoned.
Dat slammed the newspaper down on the side table. “Nee! Sohn, this is not what we stand for. We are against war because we believe Jesus would be. This…” He gestured toward the newspaper. “This is glorifying sin and rebellion in the name of peace. Jesus would never be for this disgracefulness.”
He knew Dat’s words were true, although he wouldn’t admit it.
Dat pointed at a sign someone held in the photo. “Free love. What does this mean?”
Ach. Did Dat really want him to explain? Instead of answering, he shrugged.
“I think you know what it means.”
Sammy nodded. Not only did he know the meaning of it; he and Miranda lived it. Not that he’d share that bit of information with Dat.
“And you don’t?” Sammy hadn’t meant to sound disrespectful, although it probably sounded that way. He was getting himself in deep.
“Freedom doesn’t come through sin. Sin is bondage. Freedom can only come through Christ. That is what Der Herr says in His Word.”
“But how can there be freedom with all the ‘Thou shalt nots’? I guess that’s the part I don’t understand. That sounds like bondage to me.”
Dat chuckled now. “Tell me, sohn. Do you want somebody to come and steal your stuff? Say, your car or your horse?”
“What? Nee, of course not.”
“So, then you’re saying that you’re not against ‘Thou shalt not steal’?”
Sammy scratched his face, contemplating what his father had just said. “Ach, I guess not.”
“What about lying? Would you want someone to stand up in court and accuse you of a crime you didn’t commit?”
“Nee.” But what did this have to do with—
“So, you’re not against ‘Thou shalt not bear false witness’ then?”
“I guess not.”
“Then I suppose you wouldn’t mind if your future fraa shares the marriage bed with other men?”
“What? Of course, I would mind!” His blood boiled with just the thought that Miranda might be cheating on him.
“So, then you’re not against ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery’?”
Sammy sighed.
“It sounds to me like you might actually think the ‘Thou shalt nots’ aren’t so bad after all.” Dat’s tone softened. “You see, sohn. Those laws were written for your good, not to hold you back from good.”
“You’re right.” Again. Ach, if he only possessed half the amount of wisdom his vatter did.
“Look at me, sohn.”
Sammy did as told.
“I don’t believe you would be doing any of this if your mudder were still around. Am I right?”
Sammy not only saw but felt the pain in Dat’s eyes, heard it in his voice. “Jah, but it’s not you. It’s not your fault. It’s me, Dat.”
“I reckon you need your mamm even more than I thought.” Dat hung his head, and it about broke Sammy’s heart. Dat had done nothing to deserve this extra turmoil. He’d already been through enough losing Mamm. They all had.
“I’m sorry, Dat. I’ll try to do better.” He meant those words with all his heart, but he had no idea how to put them into action.
Dat lifted his head and met Sammy’s eyes. “You will need Der Herr’s guidance. I think it’s time you start making some decisions, sohn.”
“The thing is, Dat, I don’t think I’m ready to commit to the Amish Ordnung just yet. I’m not sure if I agree with all of the rules.”
Dat chuckled. “I’m not sure even the bishop agrees with all the rules, sohn. The thing is, there will always be rules in life that we disagree with. But unless it’s something life-altering, is it really that important?”
“The Bann is life-altering. What if I do something to disgrace my family and then I won’t be able to fellowship with my future fraa?”
“You can’t live your life on what ifs, sohn. That is fear talking.”
“But I’ve heard stories, Dat.”
“What stories?”
“About a man deciding he doesn’t think it’s Gott’s will to be Amish anymore, and then the leaders and relatives try to talk the fraa into staying in the Amish church with their kinner. I don’t think it’s right that they would try to separate a man from his fraa. He’s supposed to be the leader of the family, ain’t so? Doesn’t the Bible say what Gott hath joined together, let not man put asunder?”
“You have a valid point. But do you plan on joining the G’may, then leaving in the future?”
“It’s not my plan. But you don’t know what might come your way. If I join the Amish, I’m stuck for life.”
“Perhaps. But there are much worse things in the Englisch world, with their televisions and whatnot.”
Sammy hung his head. He loathed the fact that his next words would disappoint his father. “I’m not ready to commit, Dat. I’m sorry.”
“Whether you are ready or not, I would appreciate it if you began attending singings again. You are more likely to find a reason to stay if you are fellowshipping with Plain folks, other than Englischers, ain’t not?”
“By a reason, do you mean a maedel?”
Dat shrugged. “Many a maedel has persuaded a young man to join the G’may.”
“If I find a fraa, I will want her to commit to me like Ruth did with Naomi. I will insist that she be willing to go where I go and stay where I stay.”
“It’s possible that the right fraa may just agree to that.” Dat smiled now.
“I’m counting on it.”
“So, you will begin going with the young folks again?”
“Jah.” It was the best he could do at the moment. And frankly, he was glad Dat hadn’t asked him to give up his Englisch friends. He could attend the youth meetings.
Dat clasped his shoulder. “Gut, sohn. That is all I ask for now.”
Sammy could only wish to possess half the wisdom his father did. Maybe some day.