BEX
I let Laurence jog away, confident he hasn’t seen me. I’m good at hiding, making myself invisible. I always have been, ever since I was a child.
I suppose it started at home when I had to make myself invisible out of necessity. Dad would come home, invariably wanting a fight. Mum, after too much wine, would say something inoffensive, but Dad would twist it into something else, and accuse her of nagging or criticising him. Their voices would rise, and soon I would hear the noise of Dad’s fist smashing into Mum’s face. I can still remember the sound of something cracking. The splatter of Mum’s vomit as it hit the lino in the kitchen. The clatter of a couple of her teeth dropping into the sink. Once, I tried to intervene. I ran into the hallway to try to pull Dad off her, but he brushed me aside with such force that I fell into the stairs, bruising the side of my face.
Since then I learned how to pass into a room unnoticed, and just stand there, unobserved, like a ghost watching the living. The skill has come in useful over the years, both at work and when I’ve been keeping track of Jen, watching out for her, making sure she is safe.
Jen. I say her name to myself. I can’t continue being angry with her, and so I take out my phone and I’m about to ring her when I notice the time. It’s still quite early – I don’t want to wake her – and so I text her instead. I hold the phone, hoping that by looking at it I can will some kind of immediate response from her, but there’s nothing.
I look up and see the back of someone I vaguely recognise. I quicken my pace. Yes, I’m sure it’s the teenage boy I saw yesterday with Jen. What was his name? Steven. I follow him at a distance, running on the spot when I sense that there’s a risk he might turn around. What’s he doing here this early in the morning? I don’t trust him. I didn’t like the way he was looking at Jen yesterday. And why was he following her, shadowing her, like that? Jen accused me of stalking her, but I was doing it out of a need to protect her, not like him. And why did he run off? He’s got something to hide, I’m sure.
The realisation of what is happening stops me in my tracks. How could I have been so stupid? Steven is walking in the direction of Hampstead. And Jen.