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We met the ship early the next morning. The two of us had fallen asleep on the plane and again in the car on the way to the port in Piraeus, Greece. By the time we boarded, each got cleaned up, and met for breakfast on the Lido deck, we decided taking the later tour would be sufficient. Neither of us was in any mood to shop in Piraeus, or in shape to go to the monastery in Dafni, but by noon, after answering a barrage of questions from the Captain and all the passengers who had come to know Maddie, I was ready to board the bus for an afternoon tour of Greece. Touring the Acropolis, Hadrian’s Arch, and the Temple of Zeus, was sure to be a highlight of the trip.
We found our seats and listened as the guide filled us in on Greece’s long and colorful history. From the classical period in 2000 BC to the Hellenistic period, through the Roman and Byzantine occupation, and finally through its years of Independence in the past two centuries, Greece had seen many changes.
We passed the Temple of Olympian Zeus, the Corinthian columns standing out impressively in the middle of the 21st century city of Athens. But as we drove through the modern jumble of poorly planned high-rise condos we noticed the poverty and desperation in the faces of the people.
“Unemployment has risen to an all-time high this year,” reported the tour guide as we passed boarded up buildings and children begging in the streets. Traffic was sparse and parts of the city resembled a post-apocalyptic scene from a movie. “The economy here has suffered greatly the past ten years and a steady decline of tourism and industry has left many without jobs.” Costas, our guide, who was a young man with curly dark hair and dark skin, smiled despite his sad eyes, obviously feeling fortunate to be among the employed.
When we reached the outer city and disembarked at the renovated Acropolis, I took in a deep breath. Hot, dry air filled my lungs, and I pulled my hat lower to hide from the bright sun. Without Maddie to remind me, I’d forgotten to wear sunblock. Ethan took my hand as we climbed the stone steps upward. When we reached the top, we passed through the Propylea, a colossal entry gate leading to the upper terrace. We studied the temple of Athena, also known as Nike. The long columns and massive head stone towered above us. Built in the fourth century BC in honor of the Athenian victory over Persia—a slanted V that looked like a check mark along with other Greek lettering stood out on the temple’s header. It dawned on me where the familiar logo had come from—Nike being the goddess of victory.
“I’ll never look at a pair of sneakers the same,” I said as I gazed up in awe at the massive stone columns.
Even more amazing was the Parthenon that stood before us down the main way, greater than all the other ruins. As we drew closer, Ethan pointed at a perfect location to get our picture, the backdrop looking much like the post cards small children were selling to the tourists as they passed. Ethan posed us in front of a mammoth Doric column, and I held out my hand as if mimicking a tour guide as he snapped a selfie. I checked the pic and gave him the thumbs up and a satisfied grin before moving on and sharing my perspective on the ruins.
“The Parthenon is considered by many to be one of man’s greatest structural achievements.” I pointed out the flawless proportions, which featured a gentle upward slope, so the form appeared to be a perfect rectangle. “If you look closely,” I pointed out, “the columns are slightly widened on one end to create a linear illusion.”
“So cool. How did you know that?” Ethan snapped another shot of me with the Theater of Dionysus at the foot of the hill in the distance.
“I told you before, I like architecture. It blows me away to think how they accomplished such amazing feats of engineering over two thousand years ago without any modern equipment. They had to do everything with animals and slaves.”
“I can only imagine what it must have been like,” Ethan said, looking out over the ruins of the once majestic city, his brows furrowed in contemplation.
“In this heat? It must have sucked.” I sat down on a large piece of limestone and wiped my brow, adjusting my hat so the visor sat back and I could see Ethan clearly. His skin glistened—golden in the sun—and in the afternoon light, streaks of red and bronze ran through his hair. My heart thumped harder as it always did when I took a moment to realize how cute he was. The idea that Ethan Kaswell could really be mine sent waves of warmth to my chest and filled me with a new contentment I wanted to trust and breathe in.
There was a part of me that knew how fleeting and fragile life could be, and I wanted to hold every minute tight to my heart. It was either that or choose not to love at all. I smiled as Ethan offered to take a picture of a young couple in front of one of the Corinthian pillars. The fullness in my heart told me whatever happened, Ethan was now a part of me—a part of the history that would make up the rest of my life and shape the person I would become. A new realization hit me and came with an instantaneous sense of freedom. I now knew that loving someone didn’t mean holding onto them. It meant accepting the pain of letting them go and choosing to love them anyway, knowing they would always be part of who I was.
∞∞∞
By the time we got back to the ship, my skin felt tight with a slight sunburn, and I was starving and exhausted. Ethan and I agreed to change and meet for dinner for the last formal night of the cruise. I still had one dress Maddie had insisted on buying for me for the occasion. When I stood in front of the mirror, I had to admit she’d made an awesome choice.
The clingy, navy blue dress hugged my body and landed several inches above my knees. With a V neck, lace bodice, and wide shoulder straps, the dress looked both chic and elegant. Despite the sunburn, my skin looked more a deep gold than red and it had a healthy glow. I paired my outfit with strappy sandals, and donned the beautiful abalone Paua dolphin jewelry Maddie had given me, adjusting Amanda’s heavy charm bracelet on my other wrist.
Another inkling of worry settled in when I thought about Maddie in a hospital room without me nearby. Ethan reassured me his dad would call if there were any problems, but I still felt badly about leaving her in the care of strangers. Her voice echoed in my ear. When I’d asked her before leaving the hospital if she regretted taking the cruise, she’d said, no, she wouldn’t change a thing.
Life, death, near-death; it’s all part of the journey, she’d said. I considered her words, determined to enjoy my last night on board. A sigh escaped as I fluffed my short hair—prompting it to curl—and swiped on pink lip gloss.
On the way to dinner, I knocked on Ethan’s door. He swung it open and his eyes grew wide. “Holy—wow! You look amazing.”
A blush flooded my cheeks. “So do you,” I replied.
His hair was neatly gelled, the short spikes in order and sideburns trimmed to perfection. I leaned in and kissed his cheek, drawn to see if his clean-shaven face felt as soft as it looked. I was rewarded not only with the smooth warmth of his skin against my cheek, but an intoxicating spicy scent that made my knees weak. I drew back and met the happy grin that took over and the sparkle of warmth in his eyes. He wore a collared light blue dress shirt with a thin striped tie, a black blazer, and a pair of nicely fitted navy pants. He reached out, and I offered him my hand as we headed for the forward elevators. Happiness filled my heart and spilled over, bringing a genuine smile to my lips.
Dinner was outstanding and more than I could eat. As usual, a veritable feast. Both of us anxious to enjoy our time alone and avoid the onslaught of questions about Maddie and our experience in Ephesus, we sat at a table for two rather than joining the crowd we usually sat with. I admired the ice sculpture of a swan, and we talked instead about our day in Athens, reflecting on all we’d seen and how as spectacular as it was, it wasn’t the same without Maddie.
The meal began with an appetizer of double-baked cheese soufflé, followed by apple, pear, and cucumber salad. By the time my main course of oven-baked eggplant parm was placed in front of me, I was slowing down.
“We have to get dessert,” Ethan said, eyeing the menu. The overhead chandeliers glowed dimly and the moon shining on the sea outside the window made me feel as if I was Cinderella at the ball, waiting for the stroke of midnight to come and turn the ship into a pumpkin and me back into the girl I was when I first stepped on board only a few weeks before. My head spun, still trying to process all that had happened.
We ended up sharing a dessert of Belgian chocolate mousse with raspberry liqueur, and whether it was the sleepless night and anxiety of the day before, the sun, or the small amount of alcohol saturating our dessert, I felt a little buzzed.
“Do you want to take in a show? They have some famous opera singer tonight. Or we could go catch a movie,” Ethan suggested.
“I’m pretty done in. I think what I need is a few laps around the deck to walk off that meal before I head off to bed,” I said as we strolled through the doors and out onto the deck. The moonlight cast a beacon across the sea, lighting the night and turning the sky a pale blue against the dark waters below. I shivered in the breeze that rolled in from the coast in the distance. Tiny lights let me know we were far from shore and headed out to sea. Ethan took off his jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders, leaving his arm in place around me and pulling me close. We walked hip to hip in silence for some time until I stopped and turned toward him.
“I know we promised to stay out of trouble and to be responsible, but do you think—maybe—could you stay with me tonight?”
Ethan’s brows drew together. “In your room?”
“Um—no. Out on one of these deck chairs,” I teased. “Of course, in my room. It’s not like we have to take our clothes off.” I chewed the inside of my cheek, hoping not to die of embarrassment if he said no.
“Do pajamas count?” he clarified. A small grin edged his lips and caused his super cute dimples to appear.
My stomach pitched. “Technically, we’d still be dressed. C’mon, we can both behave, can’t we?” The truth was, I wasn’t sure that lying snuggled together in one bed all night was the wisest decision I could make, but I knew I didn’t want to be all alone in my room. I would undoubtedly lie awake thinking about Maddie all night without something to distract me. Ethan, clad in boxers and no shirt would definitely prove distraction enough, but the thought of him holding me through the night chased every bad thought from my head in a way I knew nothing else could. I laid my hands on his chest and played with his tie. “Please?” My lower lip slid under my top teeth, and I held my breath waiting for his answer.
Ethan forced out a slow breath and pulled me into a hug, laying a soft kiss on my forehead. “Is it always going to be this impossible to say no to you?”