He opened his eyes, questioning how he was still alive. This wasn’t real, he had to be crossing that bridge between life and death and his subconscious was projecting these images in front of him.
If that was the case, he wouldn’t feel pain from where the bullet had hit, from where Donnie had shot him and then taken off to find his sister. But not before he’d given him a few harsh blows to the ribs via his foot.
‘You should never have stopped the van, Tam. If you’d just followed the rules, you could have been home in your shitty little terraced house with a beer in your hand. You’ve crossed a line, boy. No one fucks with my business and gets away with it.’
Those were the last words Tam heard, and they were already haunting him. Donnie’s voice had hissed in his ear as Tam lay on the ground, bleeding from the wound on his shoulder.
He’d gone for a second shot after Lou had disappeared with the van, but somehow, Tam’s luck had come in and the gun hadn’t worked. He didn’t know why. Jammed, or perhaps Donnie had only one bullet? Either way, it had bought Tam some time.
Donnie had lost his shit by that point, had attacked Tam for the second time, all the while screaming at him how his bosses wouldn’t take too kindly to losing a deal. A deal, as though his sister was a product. Even in the middle of taking the worst kicking of his life, on top of being shot, the cold reality of what could have happened to Louise had set in. Donnie and Steff had been paying Tam to transport girls to the ferry dock, where they would be taken away and sold for unspeakable amounts of money. Tam had been part of ruining young girls’ lives and he hadn’t even known it. The thought was worse than the gunshot wound on his shoulder, or the blinding pain from being kicked in the ribs so hard he wondered if they’d punctured his lungs. He’d lain there, perfectly still, once Donnie had stopped. Play dead, or at least almost dead, Tam had told himself. If Donnie thought that Tam was close to death’s door, then he might leave. It had worked, to Tam’s relief.
Not long after Donnie had taken off, leaving Tam on the side of the road, Tam pulled himself into the sitting position. Ribs aching and shoulder bleeding out, Tam looked around him and realised that any chance of surviving the night was minuscule. There was no one around, the road deserted due to nightfall. And his chances of being seen on this part of the road were slim, unless he stood in the middle of the road and hoped that any approaching cars coming towards him would swerve in time and miss him. If he could just get to the hospital, get himself fixed up, then he might have a chance of finding Louise.
Tam tried but couldn’t get to his feet; the pain was excruciating. The bright lights from the approaching car made him squint, but he raised his arm, as painful as it was, and waved frantically for the car to stop. It began to slow and stopped in front of him, although the full beams were left on, shining directly into Tam’s eyes.
A door opened, and heavy footsteps approached. Tam tried to shield his eyes from the lights but a shadow fell over them. Tam glanced up at the face of the man who stood over him and frowned.
‘What the hell are you doing here?’ Tam forced the words out through the pain. He was sure he was going to pass out at any moment.
‘You really have fucked yourself, wee man.’
Large hands gripped Tam by his hoodie, but before he could protest, the darkness from the night sky crept inside him until he felt nothing.