If you are not willing to get out of the closet you might as well close this book right now and read no further. You can not be a successful gay person and be in the closet. You are creating a life for a non-person; the person you would be if you were straight. None of these roles have anything to do with you. And when you lay down to die you will realize that you never really lived. And you will just have to do it all over again. And surely it will be as a gay person. So you might just as well deal with it now.
You can’t tell your parents? Then don’t. Just move to Seattle or as far away as you can and don’t write. And get on with it. Any man over thirty who is not trying to fuck women should think a bit, “Who do I want to fuck?”. If you don’t date girls and you think most people don’t think you’re gay, you’re kidding yourself. This is the communication age. Everybody knows everything. Everyone is smarter than you think they are.
The trouble with a secret life is that the only person who thinks it’s a secret is the person living it. Everyone else knows. So if you think the shock of your coming out will alienate your friends and family, forget it.
The list could go on indefinitely. The number of families in the United States that constitute Mom, Dad and the kids is only about 23% of the population. The bulk of the people in this country are trying to work out lifestyles that suit who they are, not what other people think they should be. Join the mob.