Here’s the question, where did gay men get the idea that they should style themselves on some 1940s movie star, like Bette Davis or Joan Crawford? There aren’t any woman around like that anymore.
The idea that because you are gay you can enter the room with your hand on your hip and say something unkind to every person in the room is old-fashioned. You don’t have to lumber in wearing a plaid shirt and a two-day old beard either. All of that stuff is styling yourself on somebody else.
Be yourself. And remember you can be witty without being bitchy. Being bitchy suggests that you have thrown in the towel as far as your own personal aspirations are concerned. You no longer believe in love, you no longer believe other people can be kind and considerate, you no longer believe in being helpful to others. And all the time, inside you are still hoping that Mr. Right will come along. And see through your sophisticated veneer and take you away from all this. Am I correct? You know I am. Being a bitch suggests you think you are better than other people. You know you’re not.
Being a bitch creates an impression that you are invulnerable. You know that you are not. You’re just trying to hurt others before they hurt you. This is a childish way to behave.
Being a bitch makes you the center of attention. Everyone laughs with you. And you go home alone.
Being a bitch communicates to any thinking person that you are not very happy with yourself. Do you really want to communicate this?
And most dire of all, being a bitch is old-fashioned. It is part and parcel of that period style of walking as though you are wearing heels and a tight skirt. Of shaking invisible bracelets down your slender wrists. Of standing with one hip out and a languid hand upon it. The glamour girls are all gone.
Being a bitch is part of the package of low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence. You aren’t even going to try to be happy and you don’t want anyone else to be either. You know this when you see it in other people. Know it in yourself.
1. Don’t try to steal your friend’s boyfriend.
2. Do not say mean things about other gay men, particularly after you’ve slept with them.
3. Do not try to get out of paying your share of the dinner check.
4. Buy other people drinks as well as letting them buy yours.
5. Do not shoplift.
6. Do not make fun of other people’s bodies.
7. Do not make fun of other people’s penises
8. Do not gauge desirability on the size of someone else’s penis.
9. Do not sit at home alone drinking or smoking pot thinking that no one likes you. They have every reason not to.
10. Do not be casual about accepting invitations. If you accept, you must go. If you don’t want to accept, tell them your dog just died.
Being a bitch is a prototypical heterosexual view of a gay man. Don’t give them the ammunition.