1. The epigraph, a quote from Yiyun Li, asserts that the weak-minded choose to hate as it is the least painful thing to do, and Miguel urges Marina to avoid hatred because it is a corrosive emotion that will destroy her from within. How does Marina resist hatred of others and what does this cost or benefit her?
2. In the beginning of the novel, Marina assumes the role of a mediator, translating between Letty and Miguel and the medical establishment they must deal with during their infant son’s illness. She also translates the high level of diction in the novel her middle-school students are reading. How else does Marina perform the task of mediating or translating between parties who do not understand one another?
3. Over the course of the novel, Marina invokes and attempts to adhere to the words and teachings of the Buddha, the Dalai Lama, Mahatma Gandhi, and Nelson Mandela. How does reliance on male spiritual guidance complicate Marina’s journey to discover and improve herself as an independent and self-sufficient woman?
4. Though skeptical of mantras, Marina adopts the phrase “by force of generosity” to remind herself to act compassionately toward others, even those who betray her. How does this benevolence complicate her interactions with others and compromise the generosity and compassion which she might bestow upon herself?
5. In the novel, Marina, Connie, and Loída are portrayed as single women who have become involved with married men with potentially harmful consequences to themselves and to the wives of their lovers. Since Rudy’s wife has died and Marina is detaching herself from him, she is best positioned to understand such consequences. As such, what is her responsibility in mitigating these for the other two women? And how does this responsibility inform her actions in the novel?
6. When Marina goes out to eat with Carlos, an elderly man tells her, “You are good with the little boys,” and Carlos, after hearing of her living arrangements, agrees with this. But Della sees her sister’s help to Kiko as enabling behavior. How is this gift for nurturing young males also a curse that prevents Kiko, Reggie, and even Rudy from taking responsibility and maturing into self-reliant men?
7. The novel depicts two sets of close male friendships—or “bromances,” as Xochi would say—between Kiko and Reggie and Rudy and Nestor. What do these relationships offer these men? How are they both nurturing and stultifying to these characters?
8. The teachings of the Dalai Lama encourage Marina to regard those who mistreat her as spiritual guides. In what ways are characters like Rudy, Nestor, Connie, and even Rosaura illuminating to Marina as she struggles to find spirituality?
9. Clearly, Marina will soon be confronted with a choice between Carlos, an artist and Buddhist, and Arturo Ortiz, a doctor and atheist. Given what is known about these characters and about Marina, who is she likely to choose and why will she choose him? Which of the two men is more likely to make a satisfying partner for Marina and why?
10. Marina’s neighbor Henry Fuentes says that a person can have people or peace, suggesting these are mutually exclusive, and the elderly paletero asks, “What else do we have but each other?” Marina determines to have both people and peace in her life. What are her chances for finding the balance in life that will enable her to enjoy involvement with others and peace of mind? And how can she manage that?