When Elaine Socked Me

China Girard

China Girard is a former Ford model who, along with three other Blue-Blood friends formed The What Four, aka “the first all-girl rock band of the sixties.” Columbia Records signed them; they recorded, toured, and were included in an album that boasted two Grammy nominations. Ooh-la-la meets yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course, China went to Elaine’s.

IN 1966, I was sitting with songwriter Jerry Leiber and Paris Review editor George Plimpton, having a conversation about the music business, mostly because I had just started an all-girl rock band called the What Four.

Suddenly a drunk and loud Norman Mailer intruded, demanding Jerry engage in an arm wrestling contest with him. Jerry politely said no thank you and tried to continue eating his spaghetti.

Well, Norman was deaf to the word no, so he plunked himself down in the chair next to me and leaned toward Jerry, grabbing his wrist. Now, I was in the unfortunate position of being in the middle. I scooted back just as Jerry yanked his arm away from Norman’s gasp. Then Norman pushed Jerry’s hand in his spaghetti, making Jerry furious. George was now on his feet, pleading with Norman to back off, at which point Norman pushed Jerry into the wall. Then hell broke loose. Jerry took a swing at Norman, who kept yelling for Jose Torres to help him. Jose, being a champion boxer and whose hands were licensed as lethal weapons, could not assist and pretty much backed away, causing Norman to get even angrier.

Carmen Capalbo, China Girard, and Peter Dinkle.

Photo provided by China Girard.

Meanwhile, I was only feet away at this point when Elaine marched up and socked me in the jaw, thinking that I had started it all. She said, “Men are always fighting over you.” Even if that exaggeration was so, it was no reason to punch me. I probably should have punched her back.

By then, the whole bar was in chaos. Norman was escorted out the door by Jose. I took my seat at the table, as did Jerry and George, who said, “Well, that was an interesting episode.”

One thing that we could all count on was George’s wonderful humor.