Well, that was odd.

I mean—Jasper running out of the house and all that, and Mum going after him, and practically dragging him away from the car before he got arrested or something.

Dad had been watching from the house. “He’s nuts. Honestly, Marie. I knew there was something not right about him.”

“Shush, Ben,” said Mum, because Aunty Alice—who had seen nothing of this—was approaching with Libby behind her.

“Poor lad!” said Jasper as he came back into the house. He grinned his long-toothed grin, and then raised a hand to wave at the police officers who were still milling around outside. “Thanks, fellas!” he said, as if they’d done him a favor. Which I suppose, by not arresting him, they had.

Jasper seemed relaxed and confident, but he was faking it, I was sure. Perhaps it takes a bad liar to spot a bad lie.

“Aw, that poor wee lad. I just wanted to wish him all the best, you know?”

“Oh yeah?” said Dad. It came out a bit aggressively, but Jasper either didn’t notice or had to keep up the pretense.

“Yes. What an inconceivably rotten thing to have happened to him! I wanted to tell him that the situation would get better.”

Aunty Alice had missed all of this. She’d been talking in the kitchen with a policewoman she’d been at school with. “What’s up?” she said innocently.

Jasper got in first. “Ah, not much. I was just trying to reassure that young fellow. He looked so lost, you know? Police said it wasn’t the time or place, and you know—they were probably right in hindsight.” He turned and headed upstairs. “Anyway—look at the time! We’d better be on our way, Alice, me old fruit pie.”

I kid you not—he talks like that. They were out of the house and back to their boat in Culvercot within half an hour. Jasper refused Dad’s offer of a lift and phoned for a taxi.

It was the strangest atmosphere. Everybody was behaving normally, but nobody was feeling normal. Libby had gone upstairs and did not come down to wave them off.

As soon as the taxi had rounded the corner, Dad murmured, “Blimey! Don’t want to see him again for a very long time.”

Mum slapped his arm playfully. “Ben! That’s my brother-in-law.”

Dad tutted. “Brother outlaw, more like.”