An hour later, Jane watched Levi out of her peripheral vision as he drove her home. He’d tried giving her battery a jump, but no go. He’d told her he’d get it charged in the morning. She’d told him not to worry about it, she had roadside service and would get a ride out there before work to get it handled.
And she would. She didn’t need to waste any more of his rare free time helping her. Besides, if he kept being so nice to her, she’d forget. Right now it was pretend, and pretend was awesome because pretend wasn’t real. Pretend was better than real any day of the week.
Levi was in a driving zone, watching the road, his hand on the gear stick, shifting into lower gears as needed. There were no streetlights out here, because the original town planners wanted the Tahoe night sky to shine bright.
And that it did.
It was no longer snowing, which always meant the temperature dropped even more. The roads had iced up, making her more than a little relieved to not be the one driving. The sky was a black velvet blanket upon which countless millions of stars glittered like diamonds. Having been all over the world, she could honestly say she’d never seen a sky so gorgeous as the one above Lake Tahoe.
Tonight . . . tonight had been a lot for her, though it’d gone better than she could have imagined. She honestly hadn’t been sure she could actually knock on her grandpa’s door and face him. But then Levi had shown up and soothed a place deep inside her where she kept her vulnerability and fear hidden from the rest of the world. With one easy smile, he’d made her feel like she could do anything.
And she’d faced her past.
“Thanks for tonight,” she said quietly.
Without taking his eyes off the road, he reached for her hand, bringing it up to his mouth to brush a kiss to her palm. “After that night on the gondola and all we went through, I’d probably do anything for you, Jane.”
As far as confessions went, that seemed like a doozy, at least according to the way her heart kicked it into gear. And he didn’t seem to have any regrets about saying it either. She took in his profile by the ambient light of the dashboard. He had a few days’ scruff on him that she loved. It went with his wavy hair that never quite behaved, and she loved that too. He was unapologetically himself, not to mention strong and steady, and . . . hot as hell.
“See something you like?” he teased and nipped at the palm he still had hold of.
Her insides quivered. Some outside parts quivered too. “Yes.”
Clearly surprised at her response, he met her gaze briefly, then turned back to the road. “Good, because I can hardly take my eyes off you.”
The words were more of a promise than an admission, and something deep inside her shifted and clicked into place. For years she’d let herself be tossed around in the wind like a wild tumbleweed. And yet suddenly she felt anchored for the first time in . . . maybe forever. “Levi?”
He glanced over again.
“I’m not ready to go home,” she said softly.
This got her another, slightly longer look. “Where should we go?”
We. She closed her eyes a beat. That’s what she got from Levi. Unconditional support. Total acceptance. “Anywhere quiet.”
“Trust me?” he asked.
He’d asked her that very same thing not too long ago, and she’d said no. But at some point over the past few weeks, her answer had changed. “I do.”
He turned on the next road and suddenly they were going up a hill. And up.
And up.
Fifteen minutes later, they’d left all signs of Sunrise Cove behind and were on what was surely normally a dirt road but was currently covered with snow. Levi’s four-wheel drive easily handled the road, and though she could see nothing past the midnight-black night and the dark outline of trees, he clearly knew exactly where he was going.
Finally he took a hairpin curve and stopped the truck.
She took in the view and gasped.
Above, a half-moon hung in the sky, streaked with fingerlike clouds, all of it surrounded by shimmering, twinkling stars, more than she’d ever seen in her life. With no city lights to mask anything, they had a clear view for as far as the eye could see. Far below lay the dark outline of Lake Tahoe, which she’d never seen from this angle, hundreds of feet up. “It’s like we’re on top of the world,” she whispered.
“We are. We’re up on the Tahoe Rim Trail. At 9,500 feet.”
“Wow.” She stared out at the night, enthralled and awed. “I don’t even have words.”
“Same.”
She turned to find him with a forearm braced on the wheel, his other hand on her headrest, watching her. Thoughts hidden. She sensed a careful restraint, a rare hesitation.
She felt neither of those things. Around him, she’d never been able to control her emotions. Now was no exception, but he’d never seemed to have that problem, always steady, calm, in full control.
What would it take to make him lose that control? And why did she want to see it so badly . . . right now?
As if he could read her mind, he let out a rough laugh, the sound scraping at all her good parts. He’d come through for her tonight, giving her what she’d asked for, no questions. No pressure. No sense of impatience.
She’d asked for somewhere quiet. In the moment, she’d meant for somewhere to just be and think. She hadn’t been ready to go home and call it a night, but her wants had changed. She wanted to climb over the console, straddle him, and have her merry way with him.
“I smell something burning,” he murmured.
She let out a quiet laugh because yeah, she was definitely thinking too hard. “It’s just that what I want seems . . . a little forward.”
His eyes darkened. “You have my full attention.”
With a nervous laugh, she pulled out her phone. “So . . . I found another questionnaire.”
He groaned. “Not where I thought you were going with this.” His hand, the one on the headrest of her seat, slipped to the nape of her neck, making thinking difficult. “Thought maybe we were past the quick tricks of the getting-to-know-you stage.”
“It’s called Ten Questions You Need to Ask Your Partner Before Having Sex.”
He stared at her for a beat, then let out a smile that melted her bones. “Hit me.”
Nodding, suddenly nervous, she looked down at the first question. Are you attracted to your potential sexual partner? Since that was a given, she skimmed past it. “Um . . . where’s your favorite place to be kissed?”
This won her a slow, mischievous grin. “In bed or out of bed?”
She laughed, and just like that, her nerves vanished. She had no idea how he always did that, lightened her world every single time, but he was good at it. “Either,” she whispered.
He pointed to his lips, and she shook her head with another laugh. “Yeah, I’m betting that’s actually your second favorite place to be kissed, but sure, let’s start there.” Heart pounding, she unbuckled her seat belt, came up on her knees, and leaned over him. She put one hand on the back of his seat, the other on his chest, and started with a light closed-mouth kiss to one corner of his mouth, her plan to move slowly, wanting to drive him nuts, wanting to see him lose that famed control.
“Jane—”
“Hmm?” She bypassed his mouth for the second kiss because his jaw called to her, and then his sexy throat.
He shivered and his hands tightened on her. “If you want the same thing I do, we’re in the wrong place.”
“I like this place.”
“So do I. A lot. But we’re outside. In public.”
“We’re in a truck, and there’s no one else out here, probably for miles. And besides, I’m just kissing you.”
“Yeah, but—” He broke off with a sharply indrawn breath when she sank her teeth into his lower lip and gave a little tug.
His scent was delicious, and she heard herself moan in protest as he caught her wandering hands, which had opened his jacket and were working to get beneath his Henley. “Jane . . . I didn’t bring you up here for this.”
“I know. Also, I lied about the just kissing.”
“Jane—”
She lifted her head. “You’re not going to turn down your pretend girlfriend, are you?”
“Like I could turn you down for anything.”
That made her smile. “Then there’s just one more thing to discuss . . .”
“I’ve got a condom in my glove box. At least, I used to. It’s been a while . . .”
Her heart warmed that he would think to tell her either of those things. “I was going to remind you not to fall for me.”
His rough laugh made her grin, and then he caught her mouth in a kiss that was soft and sweet, but made her think of things hot and bare and sweaty—
“My turn to ask,” he said huskily, lifting his head. “Where do you like to be kissed?”
“Um . . . everywhere?”
His eyes went molten lava as he hauled her over the console and into his lap so she could straddle him. With her knees tight at his sides, he slid his hands up her back and into her hair, pulling her down for a kiss that quickly ignited.
She couldn’t get close enough, and seeing pleasure cross his face, hearing it seep into his voice, assured her he felt the same. His knowing hands went about discovering every sweet spot, shifting clothing aside as needed. Somehow they managed to free the essentials, and sweet baby Jesus, his essentials . . . He came up with the promised condom and she nearly collapsed in gratitude that one of them was capable of rational thought. She took it from him and fumbled with it a bit. He tried to take over, but she wanted to do it, and smiled while he quivered and swore and begged her to get on with it. The second she had them protected, he lifted her and then lowered her down until she’d taken all of him.
Time stopped, completely stopped while they both took in the shocking, heart-stopping pleasure of being one. She’d started this, wanting to see him lose control, but she was the one doing just that. They moved in unison, together, until she was lost, rocking against him, fingers digging for purchase as waves of release hit her like a tidal wave.
She had no idea how long it took her to come back to herself, but when she opened her eyes, Levi’s face was still buried in her neck. He took several long, deep breaths before lifting his head. With the same hands that had just taken her to heaven and back, he adjusted their position so that she could slouch against him and set her head on his shoulder.
More time passed as he slowly swept his hands up and down her back. At one point, he started to say something and then stopped.
“What?” she whispered.
“I actually don’t have words.”
“Is that a good or bad thing?”
He nudged her face from the crook of his shoulder. Cupping it in his big hands, he kissed her, putting a whole bunch of what he was thinking into the kiss, so that by the time he pulled back, she could only smile dazedly. “A good thing, then.”
“More like amazing.” He looked around. The windows were completely fogged. The temperature had dropped too, and now that they weren’t actively creating enough heat to start an explosion, the chill was becoming pronounced. Reaching behind his seat, he produced a duffel bag. “Emergency kit,” he said as he pulled out a blanket and wrapped them up in it.
“You know what would be good? If you also had a cookies ’n’ cream cupcake in there.”
With a low chuckle, he wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling at her neck. “Sorry, no. But I’ve got some PowerBars and water.”
She wriggled in closer, loving the feel of his hard body beneath hers. And he was hard. Everywhere. “How about another condom?” she whispered.
This got her a sexy, heated smile that she took as a hell, yes. This time when they came together, it was slower, deeper, and just as shockingly good. And with it was the unspoken agreement that this, whatever this was, would continue to their mutual pleasure for as long as it worked.
Or for as long as they were both in Tahoe.
Because as she reminded everyone as often as she could, she was going to be gone soon. There would be no future. She’d made him promise her that. And hell if it wasn’t both a huge relief and her greatest regret.
THE NEXT MORNING, Jane jerked awake at the rude sound of her alarm. She’d set it early to get a ride from Mateo out to her car. Fumbling for her phone, she hurriedly slapped snooze, not ready to rise and shine.
She and Levi had stayed up on the Tahoe Rim Trail until two thirty in the morning. Which had been three short hours ago.
Basking in the wonderfulness of that, she staggered into the shower. Ten minutes later, she was back in her room, hunting for clothes, when Levi called.
“Just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
The sound of his low, sleep-roughened voice had her smiling like an idiot. “I think you know that I am.”
He gave a soft laugh.
Silence.
Memories.
Longing.
“So . . .” she managed. “Are we going to be uncomfortable around each other now?”
“Does it feel uncomfortable?”
She let out the breath she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding as relief flooded her. She loved his candidness and felt grateful for it. “I’m glad nothing’s changed,” she said softly.
“Not even if we made this real.”
Her heart stopped at the thought of doing just that, and because it did, she forced herself to joke away the odd ache his words had brought. “Oh, sure,” she teased, “you say that now, but before I knew it, it’d be all healthy food and anal sex.”
She heard a choking sound.
Then a rustling and a good amount of swearing.
“Levi?”
“Just snorted coffee up my nose.”
She laughed.
He was quiet a moment and she assumed he was mopping himself up. Then he asked quietly, “Any regrets?”
“No,” she said, and meant it.
“Good. Your car’s out front. I charged your battery. You should be good to go.”
“Wait— You did? But . . . you must have gotten up hours ago.”
“Did it after I drove you home. Mateo gave me a ride out there.”
That he and Mateo had skipped out on sleep to do such a thing for her boggled her mind. But maybe it shouldn’t. Levi had already proven he’d do just about anything for her. “Thank you.”
“Anytime. Later, Jane.”
“Later,” she whispered, wondering why it sounded like a promise. She went down to the kitchen and straight to the coffee maker, staring at it until it produced twelve ounces of blessed caffeine.
As she slurped it as fast as she could without burning the skin of the roof of her mouth off, Charlotte stepped into the room. She took one look at Jane and said, “Whoa.”
“What?”
“You’re wearing a smile. In the A.M. hours. What’s that about?”
Jane had noticed the smile when she’d brushed her teeth, but she’d been unable to get rid of it, so she shrugged.
Charlotte studied her more closely and gasped. “Oh my God.”
Jane did her best to ignore this, pouring herself a bowl of cereal. She made a big production of adding milk and searching for a spoon. When she looked up, Charlotte gave her a brow waggle.
Jane gave her a prim look. “I don’t know what you’re trying to say.”
“Yeah, you do.”
“Fine.” Jane tossed up her hands. “Yes, Mom, he got to first base, okay? In fact, we had a couple of home runs and several victory laps. Are you satisfied?”
Charlotte’s laugh was infectious, and Jane sighed and stopped fighting her ridiculous smile.
Coming close, Charlotte cupped Jane’s face and looked into her eyes. “I’m happy for you.”
“It was just one night.”
“It could turn into more if you let it.”
For a single second she allowed herself the luxury of wanting more. “You know I’m not built that way.”
“Jane.”
She grabbed her keys and turned back to her landlord, her roommate, her friend, and one of her favorite people on the planet. “I’m not.”
“People change.”
Jane pointed at her. “I will if you will.”
“Hey,” Charlotte said. Sighed. “And fair.”
Jane stopped to refill her cup and then went still at the sight of a trophy on the counter. She had no idea what the original plaque said because it had been marked by what appeared to be a Sharpie, and now read:
Head in Charge of Everything and Ruler of the Annual Moreno Snowball Challenge
Jane looked at Charlotte.
Charlotte was suddenly fascinated with making her own cup of coffee.
“Charlotte.”
“Jane.”
“Did you partake in a . . .” She read the trophy again. “Snowball challenge?”
“I partook. I won.” Charlotte grinned, looking way younger than her thirty-nine years. “I kicked ass. Including Mateo’s.”
Jane grinned. “That’s my girl.” She headed to the door.
“What if you’re running from something that might turn out to be really good?” Charlotte asked her back.
The thing was, Jane hadn’t survived on what-ifs.
“What if being with Levi would turn out to be one of the best things in your life? You’re just going to ignore it?” Charlotte asked.
“Uh-huh. Pot, I’d like you to meet Kettle.”
“I’m not running,” Charlotte said. “I’m staying put.”
“Physically, sure. But we both know that you’re holding back emotionally with Mateo because you’re afraid your past will keep you from leading a happy and full life. Problem is, that makes you a walking/talking self-fulfilling prophecy.”
Charlotte sucked in a breath. “So you’re saying I’m being a hypocrite.”
Jane held up her hand with her first finger and thumb half an inch apart.
Charlotte sat back, looking surprised and then thoughtful. “Well, damn.”
“What?”
“You’re right.”
Jane laughed. “Duh.”
“But we’re also both wrong. We’re holding back with our hearts on two men who deserve the best of us, and I don’t mean that our lives can’t be full without a man in them. I mean that maybe love could possibly enrich or enhance our lives. But . . .” She bit her lip.
“Yeah. But.” Jane drew a deep breath. “We need to find a way to move on from our pasts.”
“I will if you will,” Charlotte said, throwing Jane’s words back at her.
Jane had to admit, it was tempting. On a rough laugh, she left for work.
But the smile stuck all day long.