Chapter 8
As they walked into Jacquetta’s, Betty waved and spoke to the family members she knew. Jacqui was greeted at the door by her cousin with a handful of receipts and messages from the night before. Apparently the cash drawer was off, and Jacqui had informed them that if the register was over or under by even one cent, she wanted to know about it. While it was a family business, she drove home the point that this was a business first and foremost. It was not personal. She’d even had to fire a cousin who she thought was on drugs, which made an uncle upset, but she’d felt that was a price she would have to pay in such an undertaking.
Jacqui finally joined Betty, who was seated at a booth stirring a beverage and watching people come in and out of the restaurant. “They were off again last night.”
“How much?”
“That’s not important. The receipts should always balance. What are you drinking?”
“Iced tea.”
“Willie Mae,” Jacqui shouted, and looked over her shoulder. “Bring me some tea, sweetheart.” Willie Mae was another cousin of Jacqui’s and about ten years older then she, but she jumped to attention as if she were a child at the beck and call of a parent.
“Let’s go in my office where we can talk,” Jacqui said, getting out of the booth. “Willie Mae, bring it in the office honey, okay?”
“Awright.”
After she closed the door, Betty took off her shoes, sank into her usual spot on the sofa, and buried her toes in the cushions. “When you gonna hire somebody in this place unrelated to you? You know Isaac is still with the state’s attorney’s office. One call from me and he’ll bring you up on discriminatory hiring practices. Make you hire some white folk up in here.”
“Please. I don’t need any problems. I’ll hire some white folk when those Chinese food joints on every corner in this neighborhood hire some black or white folk. Besides, I started to hire one little sister, but she had too many gotsnos,” Jacqui said, looking through her mail.
“As in gotsno man and gotsno car? You told me that jacked-up joke two weeks ago.”
“Shuddup. So you still stay in contact with Isaac?”
“Yeah, he’s cool. He even sent me a few clients. He got married about a year ago, you know. Has a little girl named Rain.”
“Damn,” Jacqui said as she looked down at the paperwork on her desk. “Isaac married a white girl, huh.”
“Is it that obvious? Child named Rain Kadesah Holmes. Now, that’s jacked up. But guess who tried to talk to me in the grocery store last week. Billy Jefferson.”
“Really. What does he look like now’days? I remember in college he used to look kinda rough. Ain’t never combed his hair. Always used to look tired. Like a runaway slave or something.”
“He ain’t changed a bit,” Betty said, and shook her head in disgust as she slipped a peppermint candy from the nearby dish into her mouth. “Girl, he looked broker than the Ten Commandments, and believe it or not, remember how he used to smell kinda gamey? Well, he smells worse now. And he looked just as rusty as ever, like he needed a Jurgeons IV. Hey, I got a joke for you. Evander told me this one a couple of weeks ago. What do you have when you have twenty thousand attorneys at the bottom of the ocean?”
Laughing at Betty, Jacqui said, “A damn good start! That’s from the Denzel movie. Umm, Philadelphia. Let me hit you with this one. A woman asks this young attorney if he’s honest. So the kid says, yes ma’am. I am so honest, in fact, I borrowed ten thousand dollars from my dad for law school and paid him back right after my first big case. So the woman said, that’s impressive. What kinda case was it? And the kid said, well ahh, umm, my dad kinda sued me for ten thousand dollars.”
“Okay, okay, you got me again,” Betty said with a laugh.
“Girl, you never could tell a joke. I don’t know why you even try. Thanks, honey,” Jacqui said to Willie Mae, who walked in with her tea. “Are we getting busy out there?”
“A little. Not too much for us to handle, though.”
“If it gets too busy, call me. Oh yeah,” she said before Willie Mae left, “bring us back a couple of cheeseburgers and some fries. Kenny knows how to cook them.”
“Okay. Oh, Jacqui? There’s a guy out here named John. Said he wanted to talk to you when you got a minute?”
“Is it John Rivers? Big, tall dude? About six six?”
“I don’t know what his last name is, but he is tall,” Willie Mae answered.
Jacqui turned away and looked at Betty. With a twist of her lip she said to Willie Mae, “Tell him I left out the back.”
“Okay,” Willie Mae said, and shuffled back into the dining area.
“So tell me, what’s up with you and Vander? That’s what you calling him, right? You subscribing to Brides magazine yet?”
“Is that good-looking John Superman Rivers? Who used to play basketball for Grambling or something?”
“Please. If John even looked up the word fine in a dictionary it would say ‘NOT YOU.’ I guess you haven’t seen him recently. Instead of calling him Superman, they ought to call him Breakfast, Lunch, and Supper Man.”
“Put on a few pounds, huh? I thought you liked him. Works for FedEx or something, doesn’t he?”
“Betty, Supper Man has not worked at FedEx in over a year. He’s working as a sales rep or something at WGNE, the radio station that’s always going out of business.”
“Really? Other than the weight, is he as cute as he was when we watched him shooting ball at the park?”
Jacqui folded her arms, breathing deeply. “Yeah, he’s cute, but he’s still looking for himself. The whole while we were together, he talking about what he gonna do. Sound like a big ole kid talking about what he gonna be when he grows up. I mean this brother is thirty-four years old and still talking bout being a millionaire. Ain’t got plan one to do it. And if he tells me one more time about that catch he made or basket he shot in high school to win the state championship, I’ll puke. Swear to God! That stuff happened, what? Twenty years ago? And he still talking about it like I’m supposed to be impressed.”
“Jacqui, to be honest, that’s not a bad quality to have— the dream part, that is. At least he hasn’t lost his ability to have a dream. So many black men today don’t give a damn. Many of them don’t know how to—”
“Dream, my ass!” Jacqui exclaimed. “I used to dream of being Cat Woman, but there comes a time when you have to look at reality.”
“But brothers do have it hard out there, Jac. You must admit.” Jacqui held her palm up six inches from Betty’s nose as if to say, spare me. “Have you seen what the unemployment rates are for African-American men in this country?” Betty continued as she moved Jacqui’s hand. “I mean, if a brother is out there trying, with all they come up against, I would be more than willing to help push him. Today we have fewer brothers in college than in—”
“Bullshit!”
“Excuse me?” Betty said, and wiped a drop of tea from her lip.
“That’s bull, with a capital shit. I get tired of hearing sisters buying in to it,” Jacqui said as her voice went up an octave. “I know more brothers are in the penetentiary than in college, but did we put them there? And in regards to the ones who are out, do they think we’re getting jobs from the job fairy or something? Like there’s a conspiracy by the white man, of course, to give jobs to us in an attempt to keep them down? Hell, we have to deal with the black thing and the female thing and we still get ours!”
“Well, I guess I’m from the old school, because I think the black men out there have it harder in society and need our support.”
Jacqui smiled and shook her head in weary frustration. “Yeah. But when they get a dime, who do they run to? Who do they support? White women. Who runs to us, Betty? Have you ever asked yourself that question? Who on this earth do we as Black women have to run to?” Then Jacqui, seeing they were not going to agree on the issue, said, “Forget that. I’m tired of singing that song, I wanna hear about this Evander guy. How thick is it? Is he legit?”
Betty took off her baseball cap and combed out her hair with her fingers. “Let’s just say we are not talking marriage, but I must admit, I do like what I see in him so far.”
“Yeah? So tell me, what’s up?”
“Not a lot to tell. I mean he’s good to me and he’s good for me. What more can you ask for?”
“How long y’all been together now?”
“We’ve been going out casually for about three months, but things have only gotten serious the last couple of weeks.”
“What? You slept with him?”
“Have I slept with him? Umm,” Betty said sheepishly.
“Wait a minute. I thought you were my girl. You been riding this nigga and ain’t told me? See how wrong you are?” Jacqui said with a wide-eyed smile. “I thought you’ve been acting different. I knew it! How was it? Did he know how to work it?”
“Jac, listen to me. He’s better then anything I could ever imagine. So soft, so gentle, so in control, so firm. I didn’t know how much I missed it until I got some. And now—”
“And now you addicted. Or should I say a-dick-tad!” Jacqui laughed. “That’s how it is. You go months and months without it and then you get a little and BAM, you hooked. I believe that damn penis is more addictive than crack. One hit, that’s all it takes, and you strung-out like Pookie in New Jack City. You gotta have it! Well, it’s about time. How long has it been since you slept with that jerk from college?”
“I don’t know, and frankly, I do not care. All I do know,” Betty said, “is this man makes me happy. And you know what? He seems to have a mission to do just that. He makes me smile and it feels good for a change. I like that about him.”
“What about the age thing? Has anyone ever asked if he’s your daddy?”
“Now, see, you wrong. That’s why I can’t tell you anything. You know he doesn’t look that much older than me. I never thought I would be attracted to an older man, but I kinda like that in him. He is so mature as far as what he wants. I think he’s sown all his wild oats and just wants to find happiness.”
“Well, you my girl. I’m just watching out for a sister. I’m happy for you. You needed that,” Jacqui said, and sipped her iced tea. “The last guy I had like that was great every damn where but in bed. Damn shame I had to drop him.”
“Was he that bad?”
“Was he! His name was Chauncy and I dropped his ass like a New Year’s resolution. He had to hit the bricks, the pavement, the concrete or whatever! Please,” Jacqui said, and got annoyed all over again as she picked her nails. “I would be just laying there, counting ceiling tiles, thinking about what I had to do here at work, thinking about going shopping, any damn thing. He wasn’t hitting on nothing.” Jacqui said with a smile, “The brother was just an aggravating screw. He tried hard. I will give him credit for that. Almost broke his back actually. I’ll let you in on a little secret about men. If you want a man to go that extra mile for you? Before you go to bed with him, just casually tell him, you know, I’ve never had an orgasm. He’ll be smelling like Ben-Gay for two weeks afterwards.
But back to my boy, Chauncy. I’ve had flu-shot needles inside me longer—and deeper, I might add. One time, girl, he came so damn fast, when he finished, I gave his ass that look.” Jacqui looked at Betty like a deer caught in the headlights. “I haven’t seen his butt since. Now, you know a brother weak when a look will chase his ass off. I’m not talking about leaving bridal magazines around or talking to him about children’s names. Those are old games. If you want a brother to evaporate? When he pulls down his pants, give his ass that deer look just like this,” she said, and gazed at Betty with her lips apart and tongue showing, “and I swear the next time you see him will be on a milk carton. But as I was saying, Chauncy was just sickening. Just thinking about him makes me sick. I can feel my throat swelling right now. No lie. Hey, Willie Mae, bring me some cough drops,” she shouted as they laughed.
“Damn, that’s pretty bad,” Betty said as Jacqui rubbed her throat.
“At one time I would fake it a little for him, like you the man, you the man, when all the while I would be thinking about a shoe sale at Burdine’s. Now, you know a man has gotta go when he is having an orgasm and I am thinking about suede pumps.”
“Well, fortunately Evander has that covered. He wants me to be happy. And listen to this,” Betty said, and leaned forward on the couch. “The brother got up at six o’clock this morning and made me breakfast, at my place. Can you believe that?”
“No, I can’t. If I can get my men to just get up and get the hell out in the morning, I feel fortunate.”
“I tell you, when we did it, I felt like I was on cloud nine. Everything just flowed so naturally. And he says the sexiest things when we make love. None of that whose is it stuff.”
“Well, ahh, I kinda like that, but I know what you getting at.”
“I’m serious. He leaves me love songs on my cell phone and at home. Boy can’t sing a lick to save his life, but just the thought gives me chills. Not a week has passed that I have not received a bouquet of yellow roses. I just don’t know if I can handle it.”
“Well, good. At least it will keep you off that damn computer chatting with them freaks and perverts.”
“I use the Internet for research, Ms. Lady.”
“Yeah, and my vibrator is for my back.”
“Well, actually I was on last night and I met a really nice guy,” she replied, knowing Jacqui’s opinion of cyberspace and cyberpeople.
“Girl, I done told you about that stuff. Those people online are all crazy, you know. Don’t you watch Mother Love?”
“No,” Betty said, “I do not, and I don’t read the Enquirer or the Globe either.”
“Well, you should. Don’t say I didn’t try to warn you. Forget that; tell me this. How serious is this guy? Evander, I mean.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, has he mentioned the word marriage or love or anything?”
Willie Mae walked in with their lunch and put it on Jacqui’s desk. “Y’all need any mo tea?” she asked.
“Naw, we’re cool. Thanks, darling,” Jacqui said, and munched on a fry as Willie Mae headed for the door.
“Oh yeah,” Willie Mae, said and turned around. “Brenda found that eighteen cents.”
“Damn! Honey, you made my day! Thank you! Thank you!” Betty shook her head with a sarcastic smile as Jacqui shot her a look across the room. “Don’t you start over there!”
As the door closed Betty replied, “Hey, I didn’t say a word.”
“You didn’t have to. If it’s a penny today, it’s a dollar tomorrow, ten dollars next week, and a missing bank bag in a month.”
“Jacqui? You talking to yourself. I didn’t say a word.”
“Thank you. That’s how you gotta do it when you working with family. Now, tell me more about Evander! I get so tired of hearing females talk about sorry, good-for-nothing men. I need to hear about a good brother every now and then.”
“So far everything is great. But now we are going through that transition phase. You know, when you don’t exactly date but you become more of a couple? And you know how I am. I just don’t want to chase him off.”
“Chase him off how?”
“Well, you know how it is to live alone for so long. You get set in your ways, and it’ll be an adjustment having a man around all the time. When I walk in the door, first thing I want to do is get my stockings off, and they may end up anywhere. In the sink, on the toaster, on the couch. And you know how I am about my baths.”
“Oh yeah, I almost forgot. You take those two-hour marinade sessions. You should just drop a few onions and carrots in there and prepare dinner while you’re at it.”
“Well, not so much that. You know, he’s never seen me without my hair done except in the morning. And I don’t think I’ve ever been around him without perfume. I even wear it before I go to bed with him. And tell me something about men. Why do they always flush a few seconds before they stop peeing? You ever noticed that? They always get pee in the new water.”
“Honey, you got just a little too much time on your hands if you’re noticing that. But he can’t be perfect either. Does he pass gas in his sleep or have bad breath or something?”
“Naw, he’s not like most men at all, which is what’s so damn scary about him. But to answer your other question,” Betty said, looking down at her feet, “he has said he loved me a couple of times, but I just can’t tell him that yet. I mean, I care for him. I really do. But I just don’t wanna show that card.”
“Well, if he’s saying it, how are you going to be able to keep him interested without you saying it? Do you feel it?”
“I don’t know. But I won’t say it until I know for sure it feels right.”
“I wish I had a man like that. I always end up with a brother without a job or living with his mammy or on drugs. And sometimes,” she laughed, “they have all three qualities.”
“Was Harry like that?”
“Harry was a freak! Girl! I thought I told you about that fool!” she said, waving her hand in front of her mouth as she tried to swallow her hot food quickly. “We went over to his house after the party at Kevin and Rachel’s. I ain’t gonna sit here and lie. I wanted him probably worse than he wanted me. He was dressed head to toe in black. Black pants. Black vest. Black jacket. Do you know how good triple black looks on a double-black man? Girl, he even wore Noir cologne, okay? So anyway, we kissed in the doorway as soon as he opened the door to his town house, and then boom, it was on.”
“Don’t tell me. Not in the doorway, Jacqui!”
“Child, I don’t know what hit the floor first, my bag or my bra.”
Laughing to the point of choking, Betty said, “You know you can get help for that sickness of yours, don’t you?”
“As I was saying,” Jacqui continued, “he went over and put on that Isley Brothers album, umm, you know, that old one?”
“Girl, all the Isley Brothers albums old!” Betty replied, unable to resist the temptation. “When is the last time you saw a new Isley Brothers album?” she asked, and grabbed her stomach as she bent over in laughter.
“Okay, you got me on that one. You know the one I’m talking about.”
“Between the Sheets?”
“Yeah,” she replied, and leaned back. “That’s it. So we were just dancing there in his living room and then he says to me, baby, I’m a freak.”
“He’s a what?”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought to myself. So I’m thinking, hey, that’s cool with me, sorta flunking he was trying to tell me he liked oral sex or something.”
“And . . . wait a minute. You didn’t do him, did you?”
“Girl, please, I didn’t even know that fool like that, but let me finish. So we were dancing to Between the Sheets. Then I feel it get bigger and bigger and bigger. And I’m saying to myself, damn, I hope this nigga don’t split me in half. And he’s grinding it harder and harder and I am praying these old fools singing on the CD would shut up, right? So as soon as it finishes, he takes my hand and I start playing the role.”
“What role?”
“You know,” Jacqui said, and counted off on her fingers in monotone. “Excuse me, I’m not that kinda girl, you don’t know me like that yet, I can’t go there with you, I don’t know if we should do this yet, do you think we are ready for this, do you have protection, et cetera, et cetera.”
“Girl—”
“So anyway,” Jacqui said with a forefinger extended, and rolled her eyes upward, “we lay on the bed and started kissing. And I must admit, the brother’s tongue was wicked, child. Wick-kid. I’m sure his tongue’s double-jointed or something now that I think about it.”
“No way!”
“This man damn near made me come with a kiss! And oh yes, there’s a way. So we’re kissing on the bed and then he lays me back and starts doing his thing, right? Well, then he asked, can I freak you. And I think to myself, oh, he’s going to ask if he can take the southern route or something, right? Little did I know how far south the brother wanted to travel.”
“What do you mean?”
“Brother wanted to go to South America. All past Cuba. I was just laying there staring at him.”
“He did what?” Betty said, her eyes wide.
“Yeah! Child, I still spit when I think about that fool’s tongue in my mouth.”
“You did send him home, right.”
“Girl, of course I did. You know me,” Jacqui said as she leaned back in her chair.
“Did you give him some Jac?” Betty asked, and tried to look her friend in the eyes as if she were her mother.
“Hey, what did I say? I sent him home.”
“Jacqui, did you do him?”
“No, I did not fuck him, Ms. Lady.”
“Jacqui!” Betty said without a hint of a smile. “Tell the truth and make the devil shame.”
“I told you! No!” And then she looked at Betty and smiled, unable to keep her serious face. “Okay, I fucked him. But I didn’t come . . . more than once . . . or twice . . . in the first hour.”
There was a moment of silence before they both burst into laughter. “Heifer, you are crazy.”
“Shyeet, that brother swung like a horse, child,” Jacqui said, and rolled her chair closer to Betty on the couch to whisper. “He came out of the bathroom, and all I could see was his silhouette. He turned toward the dresser to find something for me to sleep in, and when he turned sideways, Lord, it looked like the map of Florida . . . upside down!” As she raised her right hand, Jacqui said with a laugh, “I tell no lie. If you cut that damn thing in half, you’d know his age! Child, when I saw it, all I could do was make that face.”
“What face?” Betty replied through her laughter.
“You know what face. That face you make when ‘Let’s Get It On’ comes on. That ugly face? That was me.”
Wiping her eyes with both hands, Betty said, “Damn, that face. Girl, you know you need Jesus! So it was good?”
“Yeah, it was good. But I couldn’t keep a brother like that around for too long.”
“Why you say that?”
“Big as he is? He’d have me wearing Pull-Ups and Depends by the time I’m fifty. Does the word incontinence mean anything to you? But I must admit, even that tongue thing felt good. But I wouldn’t kiss him for all the tea in China. He tried to kiss me and I had my mouth all up by his ears. I wanted to say, you eat ass, not me.”
Betty jerked with laughter and threw a wadded-up napkin at Jacqui. “Girl, I don’t know why I fool with you.”
Jacqui sat still and gave Betty a serious look for the first time since they had been in the room. “Girl, let me tell you something. You know I would never steer you wrong. I love you like a sister. In fact, I love you better than my sister, and you know that ’cause I can’t stand her lazy butt. But if this brother loves you, and he’s good for you, don’t let him get away. Sisters out here would jump out a window for a brother like that.”
“I know. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy being with Evander and I do care for him. But I just don’t know for sure if it’s love, at least not yet,” she said, and stared at her friend and then into space as she recombed her fingers through her hair and laced them behind her head. “I just don’t know. But damn, girl,” she said, and looked back at Jacqui, “Damn, it feels good.”