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“Look out, lads, it’s Mrs Dent!”
Juliet usually took the mechanics’ teasing nickname in good heart. Responding with a wry smile was easier than telling them who was really responsible for the damage that made her their most frequent customer. It wasn’t as if anyone important was within range to hear them.
But today, still numb from the dental anaesthetic, she didn’t want to smile for fear of frightening them with her half-paralysed face. Her lopsided look might make them think she’d had a stroke and leap on her to apply first aid. She hoped the lack of feeling wouldn’t make her drool. Jools to rhyme with drools, said an annoying voice in her head.
As she reversed neatly into the parking bay closest to the mechanics’ workshop, light raindrops dappled the windscreen. She slipped the gearstick into neutral.
“I’m an excellent driver,” she said to herself, engaging the handbrake.
She often wanted to say this to Rob during his running commentaries on the faults in her driving. She’d never had a motoring accident, nor even touched an unintended object with her bumper. But she knew he’d simply retort, “Yeah, so was Rain Man.”
They’d seen the film on a date before they were married. She’d chosen it to appeal to him, as it featured a fancy car and a road-trip, but Rob had completely missed its point, aligning himself with the young Tom Cruise before he saw the light about his autistic brother.
She switched off the engine, but before getting out of the car, she glanced in the rear-view mirror. The anaesthetic had now reached her temple, causing the odd tear to leak out and smudge her mascara. She licked a forefinger and ran it under each eye. Then, grabbing her handbag, she braced herself to face the mischievous mechanics.
Or Santa’s elves, as she liked to think of them, to make them seem less threatening. The analogy was obvious. Dave, their boss, had a long beard and hair of astonishing whiteness for a man who spent his days in an atmosphere redolent of motor oil. Juliet secretly wondered whether he used the purple shampoo her grey-haired friends raved about, and which reminded her of the Reckitt’s Blue Bags her grandma used in her old twin-tub. She touched her fading hair. She’d need purple shampoo herself soon.
Dave’s beard fell in soft waves almost to his navel, making Juliet wonder whether he plaited it before bed, as she used to do to Jessie’s hair when she was little. It was fun unleashing the neat zigzags every morning.
As she headed for the office to drop off Rob’s car key, Dave came out to meet her on the forecourt, sparing her from entering the mechanics’ lair. Juliet felt rude for not returning Dave’s welcoming smile, but her paralysed cheek would not cooperate.
“Hello, hello,” he said cheerily, greeting her with the familiarity of an old friend. Juliet couldn’t remember when Rob had first introduced her to Dave or how he had found out about his service, tucked away off the main drag here, but she felt as if he’d always been a part of their lives. Dave was seventy if he was a day, but he seemed the type who would never retire.
As Juliet opened her mouth to return his greeting, the tingling in her lips suggested she’d be unable to speak clearly, so she decided to keep conversation to the minimum.
“Hello, Dave.” She raised a hand to the numb side of her face. To her embarrassment, a tear fell on her fingertip. She brushed it away, hoping to pass it off as a raindrop.
Dave’s voice was as gentle as his beard was soft.
“You don’t want to take any notice of my lads. Just tell me what the trouble is, and I’ll have it fixed for you in no time.”
“The trouble?”
“The damage. To the car.”
He stroked the tip of his white beard, as if encouraging it to grow even longer. Juliet wondered whether his beard ever became entangled in car engines. Perhaps he should keep it out of harm’s way in a hairnet, like the young man behind the counter of the local bakery.
Unnerved by her silence, Dave tried again.
“Another accident, or something else this time?”
Juliet chose her words carefully to avoid lisping.
“A broken rear lamp, actually. Back left.”
Dave nodded sympathetically. “I suppose it was the turn of the nearside rear. At least you’ll have a nice new lamp now to match the other three. You’re nothing if not fair-minded, Mrs Dent.”
His hand flew to his mouth in remorse for using the mechanics’ disrespectful nickname. Any other day, Juliet would have waved away his error, but now, with both her tongue and upper lip devoid of sensation, she felt no responsibility for the words they formed and began to speak her mind.
“Why does no-one ever use my proper name these days?” As she said it, she realised she had lost all feeling in the tip of her tongue. How could the effect of the anaesthetic still be increasing? In another hour, she was meant to be able to eat and drink again. “And by the way, if I am Mrs Dent, it’s only because I stupidly married Mr Dent. No, make that Lord Dent, master of reckless driving, who blames all his stupid accidents on me. Surely you must have realised by now that my husband is responsible for this broken lamp, and all the other damage that he makes me bring to you for repair. It’s bad enough wasting my day off hanging around in town while you fix it, without having to bear the blame for the wreckage as well. I’m an excellent driver, and I have a clean record to prove it.”
Dave raised his hands to stem her indignation.
“That’s fine, love, I believe you. You don’t need to show me your driving licence to convince me.”
Which was just as well, because Juliet’s licence was endorsed with six points for speeding, offences committed by Rob, but which he had cajoled her into accepting on his behalf. His licence was already maxed out, and she wouldn’t want him to be unable to drive for work, would she?
Juliet chewed her lip, though it had no feeling.
“I’m sorry, love, you must think me stupid. I thought you were a very tidy parker for someone who’d had so many prangs.” He curled his fingers around the end of his beard, pulling it into a tight bunch. “I shall have to have words with your other half.”
He’s not my other half, thought Juliet crossly. I am a whole person.
Dave clearly hoped her silence meant she accepted his apology.
“Now, love, what can I do to make it up to you? Knock a bit off the bill today?”
Juliet welcomed the opportunity for speedy reconciliation, but wanted it on her terms.
“It’s not me who pays the repair bills. That would only be compensating Rob.” When they married, they’d agreed that Rob would pay the mortgage and motoring costs, while Juliet’s salary would cover household bills and groceries.
Dave glanced around the forecourt for inspiration.
“I know, you can borrow my special loan car for the afternoon.” He pointed to the corner of the yard at a gleaming Mini the same shade of purple as a Cadbury’s Dairy Milk wrapper, Juliet’s favourite colour. “I keep this car for my special customers. Why not treat yourself to a nice drive out into the country for the afternoon instead of killing time in town?”
Juliet gazed at the Mini. It was just like the one she’d bought after passing her driving test. But this car was the modern model, with twenty-first century gadgets and trimmings. Trying them out might be rather fun. Dave was right, a little drive in the country would cheer her up. At this time of year, once you got out of town, the country lanes looked gorgeous, with trees in full bright leaf, hedgerows bursting with May blossom and Queen Anne’s lace. Rob called it cow parsley when uprooting it in their back garden, but he hadn’t yet sapped all the romance out of life.
She began to regain sensation in her tongue.
“Thanks, Dave, I think I’d enjoy that very much.”
Visibly relieved, Dave produced a key fob from his bib pocket.
“It’s a fun little motor, all right,” said Dave, leading her over to the Mini. “Just turn on the satnav, press the option marked ‘scenic route’ and follow the instructions. You’ll have a lovely drive, even in the rain. Then press ‘home’ when you’ve had enough.”
She assumed that would bring her back to his garage.
Dave’s unexpected kindness made her lower lip crumple like a bumper against a lamp post. Another tear streaked past her guard.
“I’ve just been to the dentist.”
Her voice was as high as a schoolgirl’s. Dave folded his arms as if to stop himself giving her a comforting hug.
“You can keep the car until tomorrow morning, if you like. No-one else is down to use it until 11 o’clock.”
Bigger raindrops began to rebound from the tarmac. Juliet wiped one from the end of her nose with the back of her hand.
“OK, Dave, thanks. I’ll be careful with it, I promise.”
“I know you will, love. Have fun.”
Before she could change her mind, Juliet clicked the central locking button on the smart key. The Mini’s lights winked at her cheekily, as if pleased to see her. She smiled.
Dave was right. A little spin in this smart car would make a world of difference to how she was feeling.
She needn’t tell Rob about her unexpected outing. He’d only complain that Dave would bump up the bill to cover the cost of her joyride. It would be her and Dave’s little secret.
As Juliet turned on the ignition, the satnav screen lit up, and she reached out to press the button marked ‘scenic route’. This was the me-time she’d been craving, and she planned to make the most of it while she could.