BROTHER, did I exaggerate? Are these rooms not spacious and grand? Of course they are no match for certain palaces in town, yet for a manor house in Gneixendorf, a village so small that we are obliged to post our letters at Krems, are they not passable?
And this sitting room, is it not a choice spot in which to work on your quartets?
They face south to the Danube, while those on your left face east. The ruins in the distance are of Grafenegg Castle—it’s fitted up with a moat. Once all the baggage has been brought in, we’ll step outside and I’ll show you our glorious views.
I told Karl to instruct the boy as to which bags belong in here and which in the bedroom and dressing room—By the way, the boy’s name is Michael; he is just short of sixteen and a most agreeable lad. My wife has ordered him to look after your needs—In town Michael would be designated a valet, here he is merely a servant.
Naturally, that is why Therese chose him. But question him yourself.
Michael, do you read and write?
Yes, Master Brother, Michael read and write.
And how are you with numbers?
Has the cat got your tongue?
Michael must use fingers.
Frankly, so must I!
Brother, your smile suggests that my wife has done well—Ah! speak of the mistress and she appears.
Brother-in-law, I bid you welcome.
Don’t say such things, even in jest. On the contrary gentians are medicinal; they are meant to prolong life, not to decorate a grave. My sole object in collecting the nosegay was to wish you a most healthy and comfortable stay.
If you should want for anything—apart from wood which I have already made certain is in ample store; but should you need linens or laundering or to have your razor sharpened or your boots blackened, I have chosen a hard-working lad
I’m pleased that he already meets with your approval.
The piano is in the salon. We considered bringing it up here. Since, however, you are staying but two weeks and the salon is so nearby—it’s just to the right at the foot of the stairs.
I do hope that you remembered to bring the pieces for four hands; I’ve been practicing at every opportunity.
Why, for us to play together, should you be so inclined.
I certainly don’t wish to appear presumptuous. Indeed I know how poorly I play—only your brother plays worse than I do.
And now if you’ll excuse me, I must see to supper.
I’m sorry to hear that. Was it something you ate last night at the inn?
In that case the best thing would be broth with rice and bread with goat cheese. I’ll go and tell the cook.
Brother, seeing that we still have a good deal of time before supper, I’ll now show you some of our breath-taking views.
Hardly, we would need the better part of a day to see the whole estate—keep in mind that it’s 400 acres! Why, even the vineyard will have to wait until tomorrow.
For now we’ll restrict ourselves to the gardens and fields. I especially want you to see our magnificent view of the valley. Who knows, it may even be clear enough today to see—Ah! but why spoil it? I’ll let that remain a surprise—Come, we’ll fetch Karl.
He must be unpacking. His room is just beyond these at the end of the passage.
No, ours are on the other side of the house. You’ll see them another time.
• • •
Uncle, of course I remembered. Not only did I bring pieces by Clementi and Haydn, etc., but also Lannoy’s Marches; they are in the tan portmanteau beside
I don’t follow you. Are you suggesting that I play four hands with Aunt Therese?
But I brought them in order to accompany you; surely that was your object in
Brother, if we don’t set out soon, we’ll see nothing but the dusk.
• • •
Brother, I grant you that the land is “flat” and “bald” and all the rest of it, yet tell me if you’ve ever seen the equal of this prospect.
The Danube, naturally!
Hardly a village, that is Krems—we’ll visit it tomorrow.
That is the surprise I mentioned earlier. Come, venture a guess—where do you suppose those mountains are situated?
Even though you spoke in jest, you are not far off the mark—Styria!
Well, there you are—the view from Olympus! The rest of our wonders will have to wait until tomorrow. Let’s go back now and wash up—supper is served at 7:30.
• • •
Uncle, it’s utterly unjust of you to blame Breuning; he had no way of knowing that there are no trees in Gneixendorf. Besides, since there was no other place for us, we would have come here in any case.
Thus far the hospitality of your brother, not to mention Fat Stuff, has been exemplary; your rooms are surprisingly comfortable, the servant is to your liking—All that remains is the food; and that, needless to say, can’t be judged on the merit of rice soup. Have you any appetite whatever?
Then let us go downstairs, it’s 7:25.
• • •
Brother-in-law, before you retire, at what hour do you take your hot water in the morning?
Don’t be concerned about the servant, surely it’s his job to accommodate you.
In that case I’ll have him leave it for you in the sitting room at 5:30; breakfast is served at 7:30. Does that suit you?
Considering your bowels, perhaps you should take a cup of chocolate instead of coffee with breakfast.
I don’t see why you shouldn’t, porridge can’t possibly harm you.
Do have a restful night.
• • •
Uncle, most of the table talk concerned the journey. Firstly your brother boasted of our speed in reaching St. Polten; then he complained of the meat salad, the mattress, the exorbitant charges, etc. When Fat Stuff spoke it was only to inquire about your comfort and to note what foods would be best for you under the circumstances.
As for Little Bastard, she spoke but once: to ask her mother’s permission to remove her stole.
Perhaps the time has come to change your epithet for Amalie to Slut; after all, she is far from little at present.
I agree that she comes by it honestly, although the mother-whore knows better than to flaunt her bare shoulders and bosom at table.
Only the soprano Milder has bigger ones than Slut.
Apart from being overfed and spoiled, I find her disagreeable. She pouts too much; worse still, she looks down her nose at the servants, especially at Michael.
Presumably he serves at every meal; he’ll tell you in the morning when he brings the hot water.
Should you happen to be working, he has been instructed not to disturb you.
How soon do you expect to finish the new quartet?
In that case you would do well to go to bed forthwith; you scarcely slept at all last night.
• • •
Master Brother, excuse disturb work.
Woman with Michael cook. Cook do bed, Michael mop.
After breakfast? But Mistress say
Michael go tell cook, then come back.
No, Michael never see such mark.
Michael understand, not touch cortet.
Michael, the word is written quartet.
Not touch quartet or paper or pencil or
Anything, Michael understand, not touch anything on table.
Or anywhere else.
At what hour Michael come back?
Michael understand, every day clean bedroom 5:30, this one wait until 8:30 after Master Brother go for walk.
Cook say bed finish now. Michael come back after breakfast when Master Brother go to vineyard.
• • •
Brother, I crushed the grapes in my palm to determine the stickiness of the juice. At this moment the sugar is all but perfect. Thus they are virtually ready for harvest.
Sometime next week, you’ll know which day it is from the zealous activity hereabouts.
After the grapes are picked and crushed, mostly by sundown, I give the workers gratis as much wine as they can drink—with the predictable result of a nightlong saturnalia.
Payment indeed! the wine they guzzle is sufficient payment—The rest I sell to a vintner in Krems.
The grapes are Rheinriesling, naturally—the finest in the region.
Spare me! That is hardly a blemish—On the contrary the speckles you see are their mark of distinction. Do taste one.
Is it not ambrosia?—Excuse me a moment.
It’s de rigueur—all my tenants bow to me. I had to bring the man’s attention to a vine which needed trimming—A penny saved is a penny earned, as the saying goes—especially today with my taxes due.
Well now, to work—you to the fields, I to confer with my steward. Dinner is at 12:30.
Tant pis! In the Waldviertel you’ll find trees, here we have only fields. Frankly I don’t see what difference it makes since your walks are taken not for recreation but to stimulate composition.
I don’t pretend to know whence inspiration comes, whether from trees or Providence; still, there is no reason to suppose that your muse will abandon you in Gneixendorf. You’ll see quite enough trees this afternoon on the way to Krems. I’ve ordered the carriage for 1:15.
• • •
Uncle, there is more to see in Krems than I expected.
This is the Dominican church that Uncle Johann mentioned; it’s now used as a theater.
He said it had just opened this June with a performance of Intrigue and Love.
There is still plenty of time to look at the shops before we are due to meet him.
Why do you stop here?
But there is nothing special about this Plague-column; like all the rest in Austria it simply commemorates those who died in 1679.
Even so, you pass the one in town almost daily without so much as a glance. Why does this one command your attention?
Come now, don’t slip into a morbid humor; the Plague is long since over.
I’ll thank you not to say another word about my mother.
Then let us go on to the stationer’s.
• • •
Uncle, here quills are 15 kreuzer less than in town.
Sealing wax and pencils are virtually the same, but notebooks are dearer.
1 gulden 20 kreuzer
I’m afraid that is not a good idea.
I don’t mean that we shouldn’t set out for the coffee house, although we are still early for your brother, but that you shouldn’t drink coffee; you would do well to take chocolate instead.
The stationer says that if we go to the far end of the street and turn left at the church, we cannot miss it.
• • •
Uncle, please don’t speak so loudly; since we are strangers here everyone is curious to have a look at us and listen to our conversation.
It was your brother who chose this place, not I. Besides, it’s not nearly so wicked as you suggest. Perhaps the Plague-column is still weighing upon your mind.
Because I take an interest in the billiard players doesn’t mean that I wish to gamble, nor that I take no interest in what you are saying.
First of all you said that I should be mindful of my health; secondly, that I should do nothing to enfeeble my youthful vigor; thirdly, that sensual gratification without spiritual union is bestial; and fourthly, that I should eschew the company of plague-ridden whores.
Rest assured that I plan to keep out of harm’s way during—Here now is your brother.
By no means, Brother, I’m just putting a face on it for those busybodies over there, especially that swine with spectacles—In truth I’m ready to collapse.
The filthy vulture picked me clean!
Not the bespectacled swine, the tax collector. As usual I’m left with nothing but bare bones! Thank God the month is over—perhaps things will improve with the harvest.
Alas, I have no appetite. We should start back in any case, it’s late—Come, pay your bill, I can’t afford to treat you.
Now, now, I was only joshing—For Heaven’s sake don’t let us have a scene.
• • •
Master Brother, Michael not know why cook laugh at you.
Cook should not come back?
Never come back?
Michael not come back?
Michael now mop and clean and also do bed, Michael understand, tell Mistress.
Not tell Mistress?
They are 20 kreutzer piece.
They are 3.
For Michael? Not understand.
Gift?
Thank you Master Brother, thank you very much!
Must Michael tell Mistress of gift?
If Michael laugh like cook, must give back gift?
Michael not know why cook laugh. Perhaps—Michael not know.
Perhaps cook laugh because Master Brother stamp feet and pound table and sing when write quartet.
Yes, march at school.
Yes, dance but not good.
rithum?
Michael, the word is written rhythm.
Please write new word for Michael.
That is termed measure.
Why 6 above 8?
One reads the numbers as if they were written—6/8, 3/4, 2/4, etc, to show the beat of the rhythm which is termed time.
How write time?
Just as you have done—time.
Beating time?
Tomorrow when Michael hear Master Brother stamp feet, Michael understand beating time.
Mostly Michael finish work after supper.
Come back here then, tell Master Brother what Master and Mistress and Daughter and Son say at supper?
Dinner too? How remember from noon to night what say?
Yes Michael remember. Yesterday Master Brother tell Michael tell Mistress bowel better, eat same food family eat at dinner.
Master Brother trick Michael.
But Michael not remember everything.
Very well, Michael try, come back after supper.
• • •
GNEIXENDORF, OCTOBER 2, 1826
Chief of all Tobiases!
There is no time left today for the remaining consonant-tizings and vocalizings. But please deliver the enclosed letter at once.
I know you will forgive me for troubling you. But since you are now the proprietor of an art post office, well, naturally we cannot help making use of it.
You see that I am here in Gneixendorf. The name resembles to a certain extent a breaking axle. The air is healthy. As to everything else one must cross oneself and say Memento Mori.
Your most devoted
BEETHOVEN
Uncle, I have left space to insert the musical setting for Haslinger.
Do you wish it to be in your hand or mine?
Since you ask, the remarks about Gneixendorf strike me as unjust.
“Everything else” includes the rooms, your brother, Fat Stuff, Michael
What objection have you to the food? After all, it was only last night that you resumed eating the regular fare, and today for your first dinner she served you goose.
With goose one always goes a little hungry, yet one doesn’t always remark on it to one’s hostess.
In that regard you are wrong; she left the table not in anger but to tell the cook to prepare you some Bratwurst. It wouldn’t do, she said, to have “the greatest composer of the age” starve to death at Gneixendorf.
The dish failed to appear only because your brother forbade her to give the order. He then quoted the old saw: hungry at bedtime, hearty at dawn.
Perhaps if he were charging you room and board, you might request roast beef, but hardly as his guest.
My shoulder?
But I felt nothing. Are you certain?
If indeed Fat Stuff touched me on the shoulder before resuming her seat, I am completely unaware of it.
To post the letters. Are we not finished?
At Krems, naturally, since I cannot post them here.
Rest assured that there is scarcely time to walk to Krems and back, let alone to play at billiards.
• • •
Master Brother, when you say still hungry, Mistress say she order Bratwurst.
Son say Mistress not fret, Master Brother not starve.
Never hear Mistress and Son say thou and thee.
Sometime Mistress say Karl for Son, sometime Son say Aunt for Mistress.
Not see Mistress come back to table. Michael mostly listen not look.
At supper no one mention goose, mostly grape harvest.
Master say harvest this week.
Thursday.
Beside harvest Master say how much new coach spring cost, how much fix harness, how much blacksmith, how much
Mistress say how much Master Brother cost.
Master Brother angry with Michael?
With Mistress, Michael understand.
Michael also surprise how much Michael remember.
Master Brother wish report every night?
But so much left out.
Left out Master say daughter of tenant give birth today.
Again Master Brother trick Michael.
Naturally Michael not forget gift—From now on Michael report every night.
• • •
Master Brother, today harvest. Please grant Michael favor.
Please excuse Michael one time not report tonight. At sundown all go to vintner in Krems.
Celebrate harvest.
Eating and drinking and firework.
Yes singing and dancing, naturally.
Yes teasing girls.
Sometimes put snake down dress.
Yes other pranks.
Forget now.
Other boy, not Michael.
Michael no girl friend.
Michael tell truth.
Cannot help blush.
Many thanks for favor.
Even with favor Michael must report after dinner?
Dinner today too many people, not listen well.
Not only family but all harvester.
Not in dining room, outside at big table. Not hear what Master and Mistress and
Cattle? No cattle near table.
Too many people together, Michael understand.
Master Brother not eat with cattle, eat in room. Michael go tell
Mistress.
• • •
Brother-in-law, I would be more than pleased to have Michael serve you in your rooms, were it not that he is obliged to serve twenty-two harvesters, a dozen brats, the five of us and three or four bigwigs who always show up uninvited.
Certainly not, under no circumstances will I hear of your foregoing dinner, especially today when I myself have prepared a dish for you that I hear you cannot live without.
Tenderloin of beef!
A little birdy told me.
Very well, if you insist it was your nephew.
On the contrary, his only object in telling me was to satisfy you.
Please don’t make so much of it.
Frankly I haven’t time to argue; I’ll instruct Michael to bring you yours the moment he has finished serving the harvesters.
No, no, it’s settled—Bon appetit!
• • •
Yes Master Brother, beef ragout.
Why Mistress call ragout tenderloin?
So many people, Mistress serve cheap wine.
Michael fetch coffee?
Good wine under lock and key.
After meal Master Brother watch harvest?
Must finish quartet, Michael understand.
Mistress too busy, not pick grape.
Daughter not pick, stamp.
Daughter pull up dress.
Otherwise dress stain.
Michael not look.
Not see anything.
Cannot help blush.
Daughter pull up dress to knee.
Again Master Brother trick Michael.
Son not pick, only look.
Tell Son come here 3 o’clock, Michael understand.
• • •
“Darling, why didn’t you come to meet me in the vineyard today?”
Uncle, you have forgotten your Goethe; it’s from Roman Elegies.
To celebrate the harvest I may have taken a drop more than I usually do.
None of that formaldehyde for me; I filled my glass in the house.
Rest assured that I have no special influence with the mistress.—I would like you to come with me now up to the vineyard.
Because you’ll find it entertaining.
Indeed that is so, but how did you hear of it already?
Spies even here? I’ve not seen Holz in Gneixendorf.
Well, whoever it was, he spoke the truth. Customarily the women pick while the men tread, but in Slut’s case she suddenly hitched up her skirts and climbed into the wine tub. Needless to say, she caused quite a stir.
On the contrary her avoirdupois served her well: she brought forth every precious drop, so to speak. What is more, even as she labored mightily, Slut applied herself con brio to singing saucy harvest songs. Believe me, it was better than any marionnette show in town.
I haven’t spoken of the mother, inasmuch as the mother wasn’t in the vineyard this morning. However, she is there now and picking with the others.
By no means did I mention the beef in a spirit of intrigue but simply in answer to her query. Fat Stuff asks me all but daily what dishes will please you most.
She said nothing of going to Krems tonight; this is the first I hear of it.
If the others go, I’ll go too.
For no other reason than that I need the recreation; there is too little amusement here.
Seeing that certain players cannot bear to lose, a game of cards is not that enjoyable.—Have you any objection to my going?
In that case I’ll tag along with them.
• • •
Brother, would you believe that a fortnight has passed since your arrival?
Tempus fugit—Thus it behooves you to decide now whether you plan to remain with us.
Everyone has gone to Krems.
My wife went with them—she wished to keep an eye on her daughter.
I trust that you enjoyed the soup.
I heard you the first time, naturally. However, I was waiting for the cook to finish serving and shut the door—the old witch eavesdrops. In answer to your question I have no need to keep an eye on my wife.
You are dwelling on bygones—the dalliance of which you speak occurred three years ago.
That she took a lover is indisputable; that she received him in the house while I lay gravely ill is best forgotten.
Whether the man fucked her three times or four is beside the point—What matters is that my wife surrendered her marriage contract afterwards and entered into an agreement which, as you know, permits me to throw her out the instant she takes up with anyone else.
But there has been no one since. Therese is now 52 years old—my own age, to be sure. Alas, there comes a time when the connubial appetite, let alone its means of expression, shrinks!
Confound that cook! Note the shadow under the door—the witch is still listening! Since we are speaking of my wife, etc., please write your part henceforth.
If only you would throw her out, I would gladly stay in Gneixendorf.
Although she isn’t the best cook in the world, she is a hardworker.
I’m speaking of your wife!
But my wife has done nothing to warrant such treatment.
Better still, throw them both out, she and her big-bosomed bastard.
I fail to see how Amalie
Brother, imagine how blissful it would be with just the three of us —you, me and Karl! At 52 there are more pressing things to think about than one’s shrinking member. When your time comes, do you wish to give up the ghost in the hands of a woman as depraved as your wife?
Come now, I’m not about to give up the ghost, thanks be to God! Indeed it’s you who suffers from poor health. In whose hands will you be, my worthy brother?
In Karl’s naturally!
Karl will be in the army.
Perhaps
Don’t be so mysterious.
Have you noticed his scar of late?
Although I have but one good eye, I’d have to be blind in both to miss it.
Well, perhaps the hair will never grow in.
Perhaps not, but it will surely overgrow the scar.
Who knows—However, until it does we must stay here.
Then let us put aside my wife whom you encounter, after all, only at table.—It’s obvious from the progress of the quartet that you work well here—with or without trees! You have a fondness for Michael, the food is better than you acknowledge, your health has improved-—In short Gneixendorf is a veritable paradise for you. Moreover in light of our nephew’s hair—Why, what choice have you but to stay? You must.
“Must it be?”
“It must be.”
So be it.
Still, I need hardly remind you that you were invited for only a fortnight. If you now wish to stay longer—Well, as much as I would like to keep you as a guest, frankly I can’t afford it.
Never mind, I need no charity from you—thank God!
Believe me, I would gladly do a good deal more were I not so hard pressed for taxes.
Please, spare me the lamentabile.
In that case I’ll not mince words—If you wish to live with us, you can have everything for 40 gulden.
A fortnight!
What do you take me for—a month, of course.
Swindler!
Don’t be asinine—I’ll see no profit from it, not a penny! Why, the wood alone
What wood! Your wife stints me! The room in which I work is like an ice-cellar—I’m forever on the verge of chilblains there.
Come now, you exaggerate. In any case it’s a good deal warmer here in spring and summer—Besides, if you stay eight months you won’t need such capacious quarters.
And if I tug on the corset strings and squeeze myself into smaller quarters—nay, into one miserable servant’s room, how much will you charge me?
500 gulden per anum
Bloodsucker!!!
Calm yourself lest you have a stroke like our worthy grandfather—Since arithmetic was never your strong suit, I’ll reckon it for you—40 gulden a month amounts to 500 gulden per anum; that is only half your pension—So where, pray tell, is the bloodsucking?
You said eight months, not a year.
Let’s not haggle; I’ll do whatever pleases you. Indeed there is no rush—take your time and think it over.
In truth I’ll think of nothing until I finish the quartet.
• • •
GNEIXENDORF, OCTOBER 13, 1826
My dear Stephan,
We are writing to you from Signor Fratello’s freezing fortress.
My last quartet, the one for Schlesinger, is now finished. What trouble it gave me! I was so indecisive, perhaps because I was thinking of a more far-reaching work, but whatever the reason I simply could not bring myself to compose the last movement. Accordingly, I have given it a title, The hard-won decision; and a motto stands at the head, Must it be?—It must be! The 80 ducats due me will come in handy, seeing that brother Skinflint is lurking in the wings with outstretched palm. Meanwhile, I must find a copyist and get to work on the new finale for the B flat quartet.
Our reason for staying on a little longer is the lovely weather and the fact that Karl’s scar is still quite visible. However, I would not want the Field-Marshal to forget his promise of a cadetship, so please remind him of it, but cunningly.
I shall see you very soon. May God bless you.
With love, your
LUDWIG
P.S. Do give my love to your wife and children. I trust that Gerhard is practicing night and day; please remind him that Prospero hovers over him unseen.
Uncle, you are mistaken if you think that my tune has changed; I’m every bit as eager now as I was three weeks ago to join the regiment. The obstacle, as you yourself just pointed out to Breuning, is the scar.
I don’t know what “signs” you are speaking of.—With the exception of harvest day, I am utterly bored here. In fact I was about to suggest that we have a little party this evening.
To celebrate the completion of the new quartet. We should open a bottle of champagne and play some pieces together.
If Fat Stuff refuses, I’ll pay for the wine out of my own pocket.
I stand corrected, out of your pocket.
You shouldn’t blame her for that; she would hardly stint on wood if your brother didn’t give the order.
I’m not trying to protect her. Yet considering how cheap wood is, I can’t imagine what your brother has in mind. Why, a cord lasts an eternity.
Have I your permission to request the champagne?
And if they balk, may I say you’ll pay for it yourself?
Well and good; and to warm up the fortress I’ll bring Lannoy’s Marches downstairs for us to play four hands.
• • •
Master Brother, Michael know from smile quartet finish.
After loud piano when everyone at table Mistress ask why Son not let Mistress play too.
Not with Son—why Master Brother not play with Mistress. Michael not understand how two play one piano.
Cook and Michael in dining room, not see only hear.
Four hand, Michael understand.
Son say piece too hard for Mistress. Mistress say Master Brother deaf so no matter.
She say piece hard for Master Brother too, make many mistake.
She say Master Brother play too loud.
She say Master Brother play too soft.
She say—but Michael not tell.
She say Master Brother play like bear.
Please Master Brother, Mistress hear shouting.
Son not say anything of four hand, only of quartet and who copy.
Now quartet finish Master Brother sleep late tomorrow?
Another quartet?
Then Michael bring hot water usual time.
• • •
Brother, I have combed the countryside but to no avail.
Money aside, there is simply not a copyist in all of Krems.
Would you consider permitting our nephew
It was just a thought.
In that case you have no choice but to undertake the job yourself.
• • •
Brother, the damned vulture postponed my taxes for a couple of days, yet not without exacting a hefty bribe—or interest, as he styles it. He’ll look the other way until the 3rd. Hence the copying must be finished by the 30th—Will you be ready?
“Perhaps” is not good enough. Indeed I can’t possibly go into town, deliver the score to the bookdealer and be back by the 3rd unless I leave at dawn on the 31st.
Mismanagement has nothing to do with it—I wouldn’t be in this scrape if I hadn’t had two extra mouths to feed.
Now let us pray that the dealer has received the 80 ducats as promised.
• • •
Uncle, the note to the bookdealer need not be lengthy.
GNEIXENDORF, OCTOBER 30, 1826
Sir!
I am sending you by my brother my latest violin quartet composed for Mr. Schlesinger; and I request you to hand to the former the fee of 80 ducats deposited with you for this purpose; and I herewith acknowledge receipt of said amount.
With kindest regards
your most devoted
LUDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN
Uncle, we might just as well attend to the other one now.
GNEIXENDORF, OCTOBER 30, 1826
My dear Schlesinger,
Just see what an unfortunate fellow I am. First of all, it has been difficult to compose this because I was thinking of a much greater work. I composed it solely because I had promised it to you and needed the money. That it was difficult for me to do so you can gather from the “It must be.” But a further source of irritation was that in order to have it quite accurate and easy to engrave I wanted to send it to you in parts; and in all Krems I could not find a copyist. So I had to copy it myself. Well, that was a gruelling piece of work, I can assure you! Ugh, it is finished! Amen!
In great haste, your most devoted
BEETHOVEN
Uncle, I most certainly take what you say to heart; indeed I went again to Krems this morning, but the pharmacist still lacked one of the ingredients. Hence he could not compound the salve.
In my opinion the stuff is useless anyway since there is no sign of improvement.
Six weeks ago—I started applying it the day the bandages were removed, yet the scar is as noticeable now as it was then.
I’ve been without it for only three days.
What object could I possibly have in saying I apply the salve if, in fact, I don’t?
Believe me, I’m bored to death here and cannot wait to depart.
Of course I’ll continue using it, if you wish.
In that case before your brother leaves for town tomorrow, ask him to bring me back a fresh supply.
• • •
Brother, I’ll thank you not to overburden me with errands since there is barely time to journey to town and back—Keep in mind that Wednesday is All Saints’ Day. I’ll certainly fetch the 80 ducats for you, and go to the banking house of Eskeles, and get hold of the salve for Karl. I’ll also do my best to hunt up Holz and Schuppanzigh—But beyond that I’ll make no promises.
For my part I beg you not to quarrel with my wife. If she irks you, try to overlook it—or try at least to hold your fire until I return on Friday. Do keep in mind that she wishes only to please you.
Nevertheless she is at bottom perfectly harmless.
Spare me your puns—Have I your assurance that you’ll keep the peace?
Even so, I’d appreciate your trying. Adieu.
• • •
Brother-in-law, you have misconstrued my laughter. I was prompted not by anything you did or said but by the tempo of the ending which left me breathless. I could hardly keep up with your nephew.
He plays the marches very well.
I’m not suggesting that he plays them better than you do.
Seeing that I’ve never heard a bear play, I have no opinion.
That’s a brazen lie! I really can’t imagine who fabricated such a lie.
Then your brother was joking. What I said, to be exact, is that whether you play four hands or solo, you always play like a Master. In fact I would be honored if you deigned now to play with me.
In that case perhaps you’ll oblige me tomorrow. Do have a restful night.
• • •
Uncle, I brought down the Haydn only because some of the pieces are easier than the ones we played last night, and Fat Stuff was still hoping to play four hands.
Not with me, she was hoping to play with you.
You! you! you! I accompanied her only because you refused.
Needless to say, there is not room at the keyboard to place the chairs more widely.
Presumably she removed her stole to free her arms.
I didn’t note the talcum powder.
Nor the perfume.
Naturally her shoulder touched mine, how could it be otherwise? She is a very big woman. Why, even when you and I play four hands
You are utterly mistaken if you think that she “pressed herself” against me.
I don’t know what you are aiming at or, rather, I do know and find the notion ludicrous.
But I told you at the time that I had no such interest, none whatever in Niemetz’s mother. My only reason for staying there overnight was that I lacked funds to stay at an inn—Besides, she had lent me a book that I
Roman Elegies
You are not “on the scent” of anything. The line that I cited on harvest day has no bearing
“Darling, why didn’t you come to meet me in the vineyard today?”
God is my witness, I have no such interest in Fat Stuff.
If you don’t believe me, then let us drop the subject.
May I be excused?
To go to my room, naturally.
Good night, Uncle.
• • •
Master Brother, Michael understand. Watch Son in night like soldier from passage outside dressing room.
Behind door? How watch Son if door shut?
Open crack, Michael understand. When Son leave room tell Master Brother where Son go.
Favor for Michael please before watch.
Go home come back 10 minutes.
Tonight not like harvest night. If not home father beat.
Not with cane. Father not have cane. Schoolmaster have cane.
Father of Master Brother beat with cane?
Father of Michael beat with horse strap.
Strap not bad as cane.
Schoolmaster once break boy rib.
Rib of Master Brother break?
Stop talk of beating?
Thank you favor Master Brother. Michael run both way.
• • •
Brother-in-law, good morning. I trust that last night’s little storm has blown
Since Michael didn’t appear for work I assumed he was ill; thus I took it upon myself to serve the hot water.
Only after I came upstairs did I find the no-good asleep on the floor.
And what, if I may ask, was the object of his vigil?
I’m sorry to hear that. Are your bowels poor again?
I sent him back downstairs where he belongs. You ought to take hot chocolate with breakfast.
Hot chocolate would be better than tea, especially if you’ve been belching.
As you wish. Breakfast will be served at the usual hour.
• • •
Brother-in-law, do try to calm yourself—I’ll explain everything if only
I can’t explain if you
Uncle, it’s useless to make such a commotion without knowing what
But Michael isn’t here.
He has been discharged.
Please, you’ll have an apoplexy if you don’t stop shouting.
That is what she is trying to report, if you would only let her.
Brother-in-law, since your health had improved so markedly, nay, miraculously by breakfast time I resolved to serve you a proper dinner. To that end I gave Michael 5 gulden and sent him off to Krems to fetch a salmon and a bottle of your favorite wine. At 10:30 I began to consider what sort of misfortune might have befallen the boy. By 11 I had to consider what to substitute for the salmon. I hit upon croquettes, inasmuch as they
In brief, when the no-good finally showed up at 11:30 he was empty-handed. I asked him where the provisions were, but he could only hem and haw. I then asked if they had been stolen; again he couldn’t find his tongue, not even to fabricate a lie. Thereupon I asked to have the money back. Still, he neither spoke nor returned the money. Only when I took him by the ear and demanded an explanation did he stammer “lost.” Thus I threw the scoundrel out! And when your brother returns tomorrow you may be sure that I’ll have the little thief hauled before the Magistrate!
Are the coins which you have flung at me meant to make good my loss?
Very well, if you insist I’ll bring him back. However, there is still the matter of the theft.
Unlike you I’m not the least convinced that Michael
Then let us wait until your brother
In that case I’ll excuse myself.
Uncle, I beg of you not to be so agitated.
But she agreed to bring him back.
Indeed she left the table for that very reason: to send for him.
I have no idea where Slut went; she merely asked to be excused. Doubtless your outburst unstrung her.
Well and good, but you can’t bar them from your brother’s table.
I don’t follow you.
All of them? Surely it would be better, if only for propriety’s sake, to take one meal a day in the dining room.
Do please reconsider.
Then let us hope your absence doesn’t worsen matters.
• • •
Brother, I’m sorry to find you in poor health.
Granted these attacks are nothing new, yet there is no question of their injuriousness—they can easily lead to an inflammation of the bowels. When did it start?
Of course I’ve brought the money—we reached town well before offices closed for the holiday.
I’ll thank you not to cry cheat so quickly—I’ve simply deducted 40 gulden for this month’s room and board.
Let’s not rehearse our finances yet again—Holz sends you his fondest embraces; he is still very much in the ecstasy of love—Naturally! the man is but two months wed. He and Linke, who by the way also sends greetings, are most eager to have the new finale. I told them that if all goes well it should be ready in three or four weeks.
Excellent, the sooner the better.
Unfortunately I didn’t find time for Karl’s salve. However, since it is not particularly effective—Why do you keep spitting into your handkerchief?
Thank Heaven there is none, but do stop spitting so harshly or you are apt to produce some.
Of course I’ve not forgotten that you spat blood last year, nor have I forgotten that our mother and brother died of consumption, yet it doesn’t follow a priori that you’ll share their fate—Have you any appetite?
What has my wife been serving you?
Eggs and cheese can do you no harm but the soup should be rice, only rice—I’ll advise her. And to drink?
Good God! wine is out of the question.
Diluted or not makes no difference; wine in any form is strictly forbidden—I’ll order a tonic.
I don’t follow you.
But if Michael didn’t bring the wine from Krems and you didn’t drink it, I fail to see how my wife
Come now, you have no reason to suspect her—When our brother died you were certain that Johanna had poisoned him, yet the autopsy disproved your suspicion.
At least I understand now why you refuse to take your meals with her.
Believe me, Brother, my wife entertains no such wicked schemes.
Would it set your mind at ease if at meals she were to taste the wine before you do?
If not—Even so I ask you to come back to the table.
Tant pis!
• • •
Uncle, a reply has come from Breuning.
VIENNA, NOVEMBER 6, 1826
My dear Ludwig,
Today I took the opportunity to have a word with the Lieutenant Field-Marshal and am pleased to report that he is no less inclined than he was in September to give your nephew a cadetship. At the same time he questioned me, quite understandably, about the length of the convalescence. As you will doubtless recall, I told him in September that Karl was recovering from a hernia operation; hence today I compounded the case by fabricating a “slight infection.” Even so, let us not arouse his suspicions by prolonging the dissimulation. Surely a clever hand will find a way to dress the hair in a manner that conceals the scar. Besides, now that the last quartet is finished and winter is coming on apace, I urge you to return forthwith. If Karl is to have a career and you are to have your health, you must not procrastinate.
Gerhard has been practicing no less than an hour a day and sometimes more; in his not dispassionate opinion, with which I more or less concur, his fingering is much improved. As for his interpretation, he awaits your return with fluctuating fear and impatience.
I earnestly hope to see you soon. Meanwhile my family joins me in sending our warmest embraces.
With love, your most devoted
STEPHAN
Uncle, with due respect to Breuning there is not a hairdresser in all of Austria clever enough to conceal the scar.
Then your brother should have made more of an effort to obtain the salve.
Nevertheless I can’t be introduced to the Field-Marshal with the scar in its present state—Oh what I wouldn’t give for hair like yours.
Certainly not! Your brother’s hair is no thicker than mine; besides, everybody knows he dyes it.
In truth we have no choice but to stay a while longer; let’s stay at least until the new finale is finished.
• • •
GNEIXENDORF, NOVEMBER 11, 1826
Dear Tobias,
Since you did not reply to my first letter, I did not wish to trouble you any further. So I sent my brother off to Vienna with my latest quartet.
Now I have one more request to make. A small parcel for Matthias Artaria is being sent to your address. As soon as it arrives, please let him know that the parcel is with you. But you must give it to him only against a payment of 15 gold ducats. Just say that you
Uncle, it’s clear that you are in pain.
Surely the letter can wait until your brother brings the liniment. In the meantime I’ll make up the parcel with the new finale. By the way, you should ask Uncle Johann to be on the lookout for someone to carry it into town.
Since he got back but a week ago I doubt that he’ll be willing to return so soon. What is more, if you do speak of it be prepared for a lengthy exposition on the wear and tear to the wheels, the splashboard, the spring, etc.
Still, the manuscript cannot be entrusted to just anyone. In all likelihood your brother will know of—But here he is.
Brother, the basin which Michael holds contains the volatile liniment.
A perfectly mild lotion of ammonia water and sesame oil. Once the cloth is applied to your belly the ammonia will evaporate—hence the designation volatile—therewith easing the pain.
Come now, disrobe.
Why do you hesitate?
Our nephew and Michael hardly constitute an audience—In any case they must learn for themselves how to apply the compress.
Never fear—soups are served piping hot, the lotion is lukewarm.
There now, is that not better?
I don’t follow you.
I don’t assume anything of the sort—Why would the simple act of doctoring your belly suggest such an ambition?
Rest assured that I have no designs on your title—Ever since our mother’s death you have been head of the family and head you shall remain.
Instead of defaming me you might just thank me for my trouble.
I sent him from the room because Michael is a servant and there is work to be done.
Our nephew says that you’ve finished the new finale and are looking for someone to deliver it to Haslinger for you.
Certainly not—Why, have you any idea how much it costs me every time I run the carriage between Gneixendorf
I’ll do my best to find you someone trustworthy—Better still, you should consider delivering it yourself.
May I read his letter?
Not only do I agree with Breuning but I urge you to heed his advice.
For your sake not mine, but especially for Karl’s sake.
What object could I have but for him to get on with his career?
Believe me, I have no other object.
Why don’t you believe me?
Now it’s my turn to query you—Why did you send our nephew from the room?
Your assumption is utterly false, not to say foolish—You have sunk as low as Beaumarchais if you imagine
On no occasion—never have I found them seated together at the piano, nor have I noted any whispering or exchanging of glances en passant or stroking with the fingertips or any other show of interest on either side—Never!
You are utterly wrong if you think it has anything to do with my wife—I’m urging you to leave only because I can’t afford to have you stay.
Of course I haven’t forgotten the 40 gulden—do you take me for a common thief! On the other hand the cost of essentials increases with the bad weather. Why, candles, fuel, boot polish—indeed everything costs more in winter. Besides, your ill health brings all sorts of unexpected expenses.
Medicines for one, chocolate for another—At the same time your soiled linen requires the use of additional soap and bleach, and beyond that there is Seltzer-water and
True enough, but let me tell you this—our nephew makes up twofold for the wine you are not drinking.
He takes one glass more with every meal—at the least, sometimes two! Worse still, hardly a day now passes without a game of billiards.
I didn’t say that he is gambling, nor did I mean to imply it—Yet must it come to that before you heed my advice and take an early departure?
Well and good, but you do so at your own risk.
• • •
Master Brother, Mistress not see wine—glass under jacket.
Master Brother not add water?
Michael fetch.
Yes Son drink more wine.
1 more dinner.
2 more supper.
Son same chair—side of Daughter.
Mistress same chair.
Master Brother chair empty.
Michael understand, fetch Son.
• • •
Uncle, you sent for me?
From time to time perhaps.
A glass or two.
Your brother exaggerates, I never take more than three.
Indeed I do play occasionally. Is billiards now forbidden?
So long as we are confined here, I need some sort of recreation. What would your brother have me do?
Were it not for the scar, I too would urge you to heed their advice. But as you see, there is no improvement to speak of.
Although I’m not opposed to leaving, I would in truth prefer to stay.
If only because the longer we stay, the longer we may stay together.
What is the matter, why do you turn away?
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sadden your heart.
But you have no grounds to doubt my sincerity.
Fat Stuff be damned, it’s you I wish to be with.
On my honor.
Don’t fret about your brother; somehow he’ll reconcile himself to our staying a while longer.
• • •
Brother, I realize that you’ve doctored yourself already, but do allow me to examine your belly.
Such trickery—you fool no one but yourself!
It’s obvious that Michael brings you wine in secret.
Because the swelling does not go down—if anything it appears worse. Perhaps that accounts for your not having taken your walk this morning—I saw no sign of you in the fields.
Your feet too—May I see them?
Kindly remove your socks.
Thus far they are only moderately swollen, thank goodness.
No, the two are not related—the swelling of the belly is caused by inflammation, that of the feet by an accumulation of fluid—All the more reason then to hurry back to town—you cannot wait until they are dropsical and need to be drained.
Indeed I didn’t forget—my friend Sterz would be more than pleased, nay, honored to deliver the new finale to Haslinger. Unfortunately he doesn’t plan to travel to Vienna for another week, not until the 23rd.
Why do you insist upon delaying?
For the hundredth time—My wife entertains no such fancy for our nephew.
In that case you’ll have to wait until doomsday!
Because I’ll never see for myself something that is but a figment of your imagination.
If in fact you believe what you say, you would do well to rescue him.
By leaving here at once!
I’ve known some pigheaded men, Brother, but you surely take the cake.
• • •
Brother, your belly appears somewhat better this morning. I’ll wager that if you continue to respect the regimen, we’ll soon see further improvement—Well now, where is the new finale?
Although it’s only the 21st today, I won’t be going to Krems again before Sterz leaves on Thursday. Is the parcel not ready?
Don’t be the least concerned, I’ll give him strict instructions on how to get to Haslinger’s shop—Am I to mention the 15 ducats?
In that case I’ll say nothing—Now for more pressing matters, namely, our nephew.
Karl must not stay in Gneixendorf another week, not beyond this Sunday—He must not make use of his scar to dawdle here—If, as Breuning says, the boy is to have a career, he must leave for Iglau at once—And you Ludwig, you must not be so indecisive; you must lay down the law to him—Fix a date for your departure and then stick by it! You simply must not permit
Instead of finding the musts so distasteful, you would do better to chew the meat.
Why do you smile? Will you not take seriously
I don’t follow you—what in fact have you been waiting for?
Indeed I haven’t! Nor will I ever catch them in flagrante delicto—Don’t be such an ass!
Of course I’m certain, as certain of their innocence
Their guilt exists solely in your imagination.
Ah! so now it’s my turn to hear your catalogue of musts.
Absolutely not!
Under no circumstances will I change my testament.
Not only won’t I cut off my wife, I’ll thank you
Insist until hell freezes over—I’ll not comply.
If our nephew is to salvage his young life, you won’t make your departure dependent upon the changing of my will—In fact if you wish to avert disaster, you’ll
I have it on good authority that he is gambling again.
My steward—the man saw Karl wagering with some laborers.
At a low-class tavern in Krems—Before we know it there will be a repetition of last summer’s tragedy.
Raise your arms overhead
Don’t try to speak—just drink the water
I didn’t mean to cause you such distress—Still, you must nip it in the bud, put an end once for all to the slothful life he is leading here.
Why would you have me fetch Michael—it’s Karl whom
Very well, if I see the lad I’ll send him up to you.
• • •
Master Brother, wish Michael clean room now?
Son leave house after breakfast.
Clean Son room now?
Not clean?
Search instead, I understand. Search where?
Search wardrobe and chest and night stand and
Everywhere, I understand.
Wait because Master Brother not say what Michael search for.
Not afraid—surprise.
Go search at once.
• • •
Uncle, when I returned for my muffler I found your favorite here ransacking my room—Thus Fat Stuff was right after all, he is indeed a thief.
In that case perhaps you’ll tell me what he was searching for?
Kindly send Michael out so that we may speak freely.
What made you fear that I had a pistol?
On whose good authority?
I fail to see the connection between wagering at billiards and purchasing a pistol.
What happened in July was brought on by your constant and, I may say, unjust reproaches, not to mention your everlasting suspicions about money, whereas now we have no such quarrels. Besides, it’s not for the money that I wager but simply to enliven the game.
Three or four times in all; on no occasion did I wager more than 30 kreuzer.
On my honor.
With the pocket money which I saved.
But I haven’t sought additional funds, nor have I any need of them. What are you insinuating?
But I’ve not had to borrow a penny; I had the good fortune to win right off.
A strict accounting of what?
Not again! With all due respect I am now twenty-one years
I realize that I won’t reach my majority until I am twenty-four, nevertheless
I would remind you that our worst quarrels last year came from your insistence that I keep a strict accounting of all receipts and expenditures. I beg you not to re-impose
I’m concealing nothing.
It’s not a question of the money but of
Nobody at my age is made to
If I’m old enough to join
Never—under no circumstances will I render an accounting.
In that case you had better send for Holz!
To spy on me!
• • •
No, Brother-in-law, he said nothing before leaving the house.
No, in truth I’ve never heard him say a word against you. Indeed your nephew loves you to the point of veneration.
What object could I have in dissimulating? Rest assured that what I say is true.
In the direction of Krems.
I very much doubt that he plans to play billiards at this hour. Still, it’s obvious that he is bored here and should join his regiment as soon as possible.
And now with regard to domestic matters, your servant tells me that your stomach is improved. Will you take the entree with dinner?
Hare in cream sauce.
Then soup and eggs it will be.
• • •
Master Brother, Son return from Krems.
In salon with Master.
Mistress with Daughter.
Mistress bring Daughter dinner to room.
Daughter ill.
But this your tray, not for Daughter.
Not hare, cream soup and eggs, strictly 3 minute.
Michael not forget but Mistress say throw Michael out if Michael bring wine.
Please not scold Mistress.
If Master Brother not scold Mistress Mistress not scold Michael.
Thank you Master Brother.
• • •
Master Brother, Master say give letter with breakfast.
My dear Brother,
I cannot possibly remain silent concerning Karl’s future. He is growing slothful here and habituated to this way of life; the longer he goes on in this fashion, the more unfortunate it will be for him. When we set out for Gneixendorf, Breuning gave him a fortnight to recuperate, and now it is two months—You see from Breuning’s letter that it is his express wish for Karl to hurry to his calling; the longer he is here the more difficult it will be for him to resume work, and we may be the ones to suffer the consequences.
It is an infinite pity that this talented young man so wastes his time; and on whom if not the two of us will the blame fall? For he is still too young to steer his own course; therefore it is your duty, if you do not wish to be reproached by yourself and others hereafter, to make him start his career at once. The moment he is not idle it will be easy to do a good deal for him; but at present nothing can be done.
I see from his actions that he would like to stay here, but if he were to do so it would spell ruin for his future; thus he must depart. The longer you hesitate the more difficult it will be for him to tear himself away; I therefore entreat you—make up your mind, don’t permit him to talk you out of it. I think it ought to be by next Monday. In no event can you wait for me, inasmuch as I cannot leave here without money, and it will be a long time before I collect enough to go to Vienna.
No, Master Brother, Master only say bring letter.
Son in dining room.
Now or after breakfast?
I fetch him.
• • •
All else aside, Uncle, your brother is mistaken; believe me, I have no wish to stay here.
I’m at a loss to explain his object; but rest assured that I’ll leave without delay the moment the scar permits.
Clearly my future doesn’t turn on whether it’s a Monday or Tuesday. The whole thing smacks of the theater.
More pressing, however, than your brother’s letter is the note to Haslinger which must accompany the new finale. Do dictate it now.
GNEIXENDORF, NOVEMBER 22
I am sending you herewith, though a little later than I intended, the parcel about which I have already informed you. Please deliver it to Matthias Artaria who will pay you 15 ducats for it. Should I be in a position to return your kindness, I shall not fail to do so.
Your most devoted
BEETHOVEN
P.S. Please give the bearer a few lines stating that you have received the above-mentioned parcel.
Uncle, your brother is making his rounds now, but I’ll be glad to take it to Sterz.
If I’m not to be trusted, then by all means have your brother take it to him.
Hardly a ruse—Need I contrive a ruse in order to go to Krems?
Surely there is no call for that. You have my word that I will not gamble. Isn’t that sufficient? Must I ask your permission henceforth to go to Krems?
And must I also ask your permission to walk in the fields?
If I appear insolent, perhaps your stringent rules are to blame—I’m simply too old to be supervised in this fashion.
There you are wrong; I would leave here this minute were the scar less conspicuous.
Certainly not, there is no one, nothing—nothing whatever holds me here. I can’t imagine what your brother had in mind.
I just now said that I don’t know. If you do, fine! But then why ask me?
Why do you raise your voice? I can hear you perfectly well without
I’m unaware of having rolled my eyes. If indeed I did, I meant no disrespect; it’s only because we’ve been over the question of your sister-in-law a dozen times.
For the simple reason that I’ve nothing to confess.
I’ve sworn on my honor that I take no interest in her—What more would you have me say?
Naturally I heard you, doubtless you were heard in Krems.
On the contrary my silence signifies disdain—it’s beneath me to refute such accusations.
Why, when you already have my word?
Well and good, I give you my word that I am not fornicating with Fat Stuff. There! Are you now satisfied?
I am not lying!
Then let us drop the subject.
Kindly refrain from saying that.
It’s pointless to make a scene.
You have only to drop the subject in order to
Please, I beg of you to drop
But I have told you the truth!
I have—I have!!!
I cannot answer in this state.
When I’ve stopped.
I’m ashamed of myself for weeping. After what happened in July I wouldn’t have thought it possible for you ever to bring me to tears again. In fact, it was for just that reason, to forestall such a tirade, that I was silent earlier. Indeed I fail to see what is to be gained by raking up past misdeeds, I mean alleged misdeeds or by reviving old reproaches. If, as you assert, I lied to you, let alone your secretaries and my schoolmasters, about visiting my mother—or even if I lied about stealing the housekeeper’s money for chocolates—For God’s sake, that was years ago! Because I lied to you when I was twelve, doesn’t mean I’m lying now.
Please don’t begin again.
You may accuse me of anything you like, I’ll simply accept what you say in silence, as is my duty.
Did you see me speak? Hardly. No matter what you say about Niemetz and his mother or about your sister-in-law, I’ll not refute it—Thus I ask you to stop.
I’ll hear nothing about my mother!
If you don’t stop
I beg you once for all not to torment me as you are doing now or you may regret it.
Put whatever construction on it you like.
Why do you make such a scene?
I’ve had enough!
For a walk.
But I’ve not been outside today.
I need a breath of air.
Not even to the garden?
In that case I’ll go to my room.
Is there no place you’ll let me go!
Because I need to be by myself.
But I must be!
To my room
I only wish to go to my room!
Will you not let me go to my room?
I will not endure this!
• • •
Yes, Brother-in-law, he ran from the house in tears.
Five minutes ago.
I did my best but couldn’t stop him.
He had no pistol, of that I am certain.
In the direction of the fields.
Do reconsider, your feet are too swollen to go after him.
Fear not, no harm will come to him.
Of course you’ll see him again and, I dare say, in time for dinner. Do take heart.
Because it’s nothing but a passing squall; he’ll return as soon as he regains his composure.
It would seem that he has some of your hot blood—one might even say that it runs in the Beethoven family.
For heaven’s sake don’t take offense, I was only joking.
Look!
No, beyond the oxcart—Isn’t that your nephew?
So, as you see, I was right.
He appears to be coming back. Before I return to my duties, let me urge you to heed your brother’s advice.
Your nephew should leave here without delay.
Why do you look surprised?
Naturally I agree with my husband.
You have no reason to doubt me. In fact I feel more strongly than my husband does that your nephew should leave here at once. Can’t you see the necessity?
But the scar is hardly noticeable. Besides if you stay, there will doubtless be further squalls; and that can’t help but harm your health.
Thank Heaven! My husband will be greatly pleased.
Here now is your nephew—I’ll excuse myself.
Uncle, surely my absence was too brief to cite the prodigal son.
In any case I’ve returned.
Whenever you decide to leave, rest assured that I’ll abide by your decision.
Am I now permitted to go to my room?
Thank you for your clemency.
• • •
Master Brother, Michael not understand.
Master Brother wish Michael also go?
To Vienna!
All life since boy Michael—cannot find word.
No, always wish Vienna, dream Vienna.
Father surely forbid.
Michael ask tonight, tell tomorrow.
Coachman in stable.
Name Josef. Michael fetch?
Stable too far, Michael fetch.
Master Brother feet bad, Michael fetch.
After breakfast Michael bring Master Brother see Josef.
• • •
Master Brother, Josef say need one day ahead for carriage.
Master Brother wish carriage Monday, Michael understand.
Josef say carriage order Monday.
Carriage already order Monday.
Josef say Master order carriage.
Josef laugh because Master Brother say horse blanket better than blanket on bed.
Josef thank for coin.
Master Brother wish speak with Master, Michael understand.
• • •
Brother, you misconstrue—I have no such scheme in mind. My own wishes aside, I could hardly force you to leave against your will—Indeed the carriage is ordered not for you but for my wife who has business in town with her brother.
Bravissimo! I can’t tell you how much that pleases me—the more, since it signifies your willingness to travel with my wife.
You are forgetting that there were three of us when we came here.
In that case I’ll send my wife by coach and you and Karl may have the carriage.
I simply can’t afford to send it back and forth twice—Come now, reconsider.
But since you needn’t speak to my wife along the way and needn’t take your meals with her, and since, moreover, our nephew’s future hinges on his leaving Monday, I beg you to swallow your distaste and travel with the woman.
Believe me, it’s imperative!
Oh, thank you, Brother—I embrace you.
• • •
Uncle, if you wish to leave this Monday, fine.
If not, fine again; Wednesday will serve equally well.
Why do your eyes bore into me so?
Monday or Friday, it’s all the same to me.
Indeed I had no idea that Fat Stuff was going to Vienna this Monday. In that case let us leave the following week.
But if you’ve already made up your mind to leave on Monday, it’s useless to dwell on the subject.
Rest assured that I’ll be ready first thing Monday morning.
• • •
Master Brother, Michael not see Vienna.
Father forbid.
Michael sorry too, also sorry Master Brother leave Monday.
Not leave Monday?
Pack bag but not leave? Michael not understand.
Never see play in Krems.
Not truly pack bag?
Truly pack bag but not truly leave.
Pretend?
Only pretend Master Brother leave, Michael understand.
Not tell Son.
Not tell Mistress.
Michael not tell no one.
• • •
Brother, it’s much too cold to stand out here—do get into the carriage.
It’s Amalie—my wife is taking the girl with her.
It was decided only last night.
There is no difference between three and four—Now do get in.
Make haste! If Josef is to reach St. Polten by nightfall, he must
Say no more—I’ll have the women climb out—they can travel by coach.
Hold on! Don’t have Karl climb out—My wife’s business can wait, Karl’s cannot.
I told him to get back in.
I implore you not to undo the entire plan.
Then have Karl get back in.
For God’s sake, tell him to get in!
So be it—It’s on your own head!
I ordered Josef to set out with the women as soon as Michael takes down your bags.
Tant pis! You’ll just have to wait now until I’m good and ready.
• • •
Uncle, perhaps it would be better to let your brother cool down for a while; there will be ample time this evening to raise the subject.
It’s you who are cold; he is piping hot.
In that case shall I tell him he’ll find you in the sitting room?
If your feet are frozen, don’t mount the stairs. I’ll say that you are in the salon.
• • •
Brother, the fact that you meddled with our brother’s will gives you no license to meddle with mine. Surely I made myself clear on this last week—Let’s say no more about it.
That is none of your affair—Still, you are wrong to assume that Therese is my sole beneficiary—she has her share and will get no more.
When our brother signed that codicil appointing you Karl’s guardian he was on his deathbed, whereas I am in the best of health, thank God! Besides, it was executed at your insistence and in return for helping our brother during his illness—Well, fortunately I have no need of your financial help—Indeed the opposite has been the case for twenty years.
Since the first loan I made you was in 1807—Very well, it’s nineteen years—Don’t let’s quibble.
Seeing that I didn’t purchase the apothecary shop in Linz until 1808, Therese was not even in the picture.
Frankly I don’t see what bearing any of this has on my wife.
Don’t imagine that by defaming Therese you’ll persuade me to make my estate over to Karl—certainly not! On that I am adamant.
If you insist on discussing the matter, be so good as to send our nephew out of the room.
As soon as you send him out, I’ll tell you.
His presence hinders my speaking freely.
Suit yourself—It’s not with my wife that the young man has been debauching himself but with her daughter.
My wife discovered them a week ago.
In the linen press.
Suffice it to say that they were en déshabillé.
If you don’t believe me, you have only to question Karl.
No, Uncle, I cannot deny it.
It happened in drunkenness.
Of course I see how incensed you are.
I have nothing more to say.
Because nothing but silence can follow such a tirade.
On the contrary I remember perfectly what you said about the pestilence of whores.
But I heeded your advice.
Between you and me, I never entered there; in fact I never ventured anywhere near the “swampy place.”
Believe me, Uncle, we did not make the beast with two backs.
So, Brother, you see now why the girl was sent packing, to say nothing of why I won’t cut off my wife.
Be reasonable—my wife is utterly blameless.
Rubbish! she initiated no such thing.
You disgrace us both with this kind of talk.
After being told that my wife is the mother of her daughter’s lust and that both are whores, I’m asked once more to alter my will—Go to the devil!
Karl will have more than enough with your bank shares.
Away with that shit—he’ll get nothing from me.
Being head of the family doesn’t make you head of this estate. It’s mine—my property, acquired by the sweat of my brow and the ingenuity of my business dealings. So I’ll thank you not to dictate my heirs to me.
I grant you that he is our flesh and blood—on the other hand she is my wife.
Be careful, Ludwig—scum is what you called her fourteen years ago when she was still my housekeeper.
Well and good, housekeeper-cum-paramour—which, needless to say, is what prompted you to besiege us in Linz—By God! but you were treacherous.
Not treacherous to disgrace the girl publicly! Why, you stopped at nothing to make me break with her—indeed you brought me to the brink of desperation! And when I came to your room to give you a piece of my mind, you flew into a rage and took me by the throat—Was that not treachery! Well, no matter—in return you received a thrashing the likes of which you’ll never forget!
Frankly you have no one but yourself to thank, since it was you who provoked, nay, drove me—you drove me to marry her.
If you hadn’t gone to the Bishop and railed against the girl—worse still, if you hadn’t obtained a police order banishing her from Linz—Who knows, perhaps I would never have married Therese; I did so only to revenge myself on you.
I warn you, Ludwig
Don’t persist in saying
On the contrary it’s you who are lacking in manhood!
Capon!
Worm!
I’ll thrash you again!
Enough, I say!!!
Uncle, I had no choice but to intervene.
To prevent bloodshed.
Please sit down.
It does no good to keep calling him Cain.
What he just said is immaterial.
I beg of you to sit down.
Brother, now that you’ve left the field I’ll tell you what I said. For thirty years I’ve had to stomach your calling me Cain, in spite of the fact—which everyone in Christendom but you knows—that Cain was the older brother. Thus I merely remarked that for once you happened to be right—for surely I would have finished you off, had you not cried out for mercy.
Come now, don’t let’s start again.
You did indeed cry out.
“Don’t hit me!” were your words.
If you don’t believe me, ask our nephew.
Uncle, unfortunately I failed to hear what was said.
Brother, clearly our nephew is dissimulating, but let it pass—As for my will, it stands—I’ll not alter a word.
That’s enough! If I were you and found myself in such miserable health, I would depart posthaste and not look back until I reached Vienna.
Well and good, but there is no postchaise from here.
If you hadn’t undone the plan, you would be halfway there by now.
You’ll have to take the coach from St. Polten.
Do as you please—I must make my rounds.
• • •
Uncle, your brother spoke the truth: one must travel by stagecoach from St. Polten.
Everything you say about the tortures of the rack, your swollen feet and belly, the riffraff and pigsty is true; yet there is no other possibility, one must travel by coach.
Most likely your brother’s carriage will return Thursday.
I doubt that he’ll agree to send it back so soon.
Under those circumstances he might, providing that the sum is large enough.
Since you refuse to travel by coach, his carriage is the only alternative.
Do try your best to reach an accommodation.
• • •
Brother, I expect the carriage Thursday afternoon.
You’ve forgotten that Friday is December 1st—taxes! Doubtless that hellhound is already sharpening his claws for me.
I can’t possibly send it back that soon—not in fact for many weeks.
Because I can’t afford it.
Well, that’s a different story—What sum have you in mind?
You must be jesting.
Is that your best offer?
Then let us drop the subject.
I said let it be.
Enough of your filthy aspersions!
Not if you offered me 500!
I kiss my hand to you!
You’ll simply have to travel by coach as others do.
• • •
But, Uncle, we are going around in circles—there is no other possibility.
Be reasonable, you cannot travel by farm wagon.
I don’t doubt that there are wagons for hire, yet it’s out of the question; one cannot travel by open wagon in December.
Whether or not it’s rigged with canvas, the sides will still be open.
Before you send for Michael, please let me speak to your brother.
Let me try at least to persuade him.
• • •
Money aside, Uncle; firstly, your brother dwelled on the wear and tear to the carriage and horses; secondly, he spoke of Breuning and the Field-Marshal, thirdly
In short he flatly refused and entreated you to take the coach.
I beg of you to listen to reason.
Unfortunately you are spiting no one but yourself.
The wagon is secondary; the trick will be to find a farmer ready to leave at once.
Alas, your resolve is unmistakable; I’ll tell Michael to make inquiries.
• • •
Master Brother, farmer say ready Friday.
Cannot leave Gneixendorf Friday arrive Vienna Friday, must stop for night.
Not St. Polten, farmer say Mitterndorf better.
What time you wish farmer fetch?
Still too dark, not see road so early.
Crack of dawn, Michael understand.
• • •
Brother, even if you are wedded to the wagon, at least travel to St. Polten by postchaise. From there you can easily
Mitterndorf—why on earth would the man go by way of Mitterndorf?
Never mind shorter—the road is simply wretched.
Why will you never heed my advice!
In that case I’ll say no more.
• • •
Master Brother, Michael understand. Tomorrow hot water with breakfast, take bag down, load bag on wagon, come back, help Son help Master Brother down.
Take blanket please.
Coat for September not December, wear blanket over coat please.
Blanket from bed not horse blanket.
Farmer say wagon reach Vienna Saturday.
Late afternoon.
Michael not smile because not see Palace or St Stephen church or Prater park, and not hear new quartet.
But Master Brother make quartet, not need hear.
God forgive—Michael stupid!
Please forgive—Michael stupid ass!
Master Brother very kind but not true. Father forbid Vienna not because Michael smart, father need Michael help.
If Michael disobey and go with Master Brother, father beat.
Michael never say not hit me.
Father of Master Brother say not hit me? Master Brother hit father!
Master Brother honor father, son always honor father.
Son not always honor Master Brother?
Michael not understand fil—cannot write.
Filial piety, Michael, is duty to one’s father.
Son not show duty?
Not good Michael show more duty than Son?
Michael too wish to be Master Brother son.
Michael leave room because of tears.
Not in pocket?
Maybe sleeve.
Why reward? Michael not find handkerchief, Master Brother find.
Thank you Master Brother.
Michael too never forget Master Brother.
Take tray now?
Good night Master Brother, thank you so much for gold ducat.
• • •
Brother, I beseech you to reconsider.
Not another word about the carriage—it’s you who must come to your senses.
Pigheaded! Pigheaded! Pigheaded!
My wife has come to bid you adieu.
Can you not be civil even in parting!
I merely told our nephew and Michael to help you downstairs. However, first you must pay me for that blanket.
Do calm yourself!
Evidently our nephew agrees with you.
My apologies—the two blankets are all but indistinguishable. Doubtless you’ll need it in your humble conveyance.
Blankets aside, I hope you have a comfortable, I mean swift journey—utterly prestissimo!
Farewell, Brother.