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“How have you been feeling after going back to work?” It was the same question Greyson had been asking for the past several weeks. Well, that and about a dozen other questions that all basically boiled down to the same thing.
Was Jazz Blythe still crazy?
Jazz nearly rolled his eyes at his own destructive thoughts. It was something he and Greyson had been working on since the day he’d finally broken down and shared his burden with someone.
Greyson wasn’t exactly trained as a therapist, although he was now taking classes to become one. Yet, trained or not, Jazz trusted Greyson. According to Greyson’s best friends, Ward, Elton, Kylo, and Teddy, most everyone did. As a black panther shifter, Greyson tended to keep to himself, yet, he still had a way of drawing others out and getting them to tell him their deepest, darkest secrets.
Like Jazz. His whole life he kept getting involved with men who liked to push him around. Many had hit him through the years. To Jazz, it was normal. What he deserved for being a screw up.
“Good,” he answered like always even though it was far from the truth.
“You do know I’m a shifter too, right?” Greyson pointed to his nose, reminding Jazz lies were easy for their kind to scent out.
He hadn’t forgotten, but he also hadn’t known what else to say. “What do you want me to say?” he blurted out in frustration.
“How about we start with the truth,” Greyson told him. “Do you like working in construction?”
“I don’t dislike it.” Jazz knew it wasn’t exactly an answer, but it was all he had.
“Okay.” There was a look of determination in Greyson’s eyes. “Give me three reasons you like it.”
Damn. He understood that Greyson and everyone else in Miracle were trying to help, but Jazz wasn’t so sure he wanted it. He’d been doing fine with the losers he’d dated. Okay, so maybe fine was too strong of a word, considering he’d nearly died at the hands of Kingston Huges, the last boyfriend who’d bothered to give Jazz the time of day.
“I like that I’m helping to build homes for everyone in Miracle.” For Jazz, that had meant everything to him. He’d been given a place to live, acceptance by the residents, and a clean slate, even after bringing a man like Kingston into their lives. Or, not exactly into, since the man had never stepped foot in Miracle, but he’d told Kingston many things about the people living there.
How was he to know the man worked for a rival pack that planned to attack Miracle? Yet, no one seemed to ever bring it up. It was as if no one blamed Jazz for being so stupid. Then again, they probably expected it from someone as dumb as he was.
“Plus, with no other skills, it’s nice to have something to do that even I can’t screw up.” The moment Greyson let out a sigh, Jazz knew he’d managed to fuck it up once more. Since it was his specialty, it was hard to be surprised.
“Jazz,” Greyson said far more patiently than anyone Jazz had ever known. “We talked about this. You happen to be good at what you do.”
Jazz had to dig his nails into his palms to force himself not to roll his eyes at Greyson’s statement. He painted walls. How hard did people think that was?
“Fine,” Greyson leaned forward. “Enough about your job. What about you? Are you still having nightmares?”
Jazz regretted ever mentioning waking up in the middle of the night, coughing, his throat on fire as he’d dreamt of Kingston trying to choke the life out of him. At the time, it had helped sharing the horrible dreams, but he also wanted to just forget.
“Sometimes,” he admitted. Like every damn night. “I can’t stop looking over my shoulder, afraid he’d going to come back for me and finish the job.”
“That’s not going to happen,” Greyson assured him.
But Jazz didn’t believe him. Kingston was still out there somewhere. So long as that was true, Jazz knew he’d never be safe. “You can’t promise that,” he whispered, wishing Greyson’s words alone could keep him safe.
“Besides, even if Kingston never comes back, there will eventually be someone else to take his place.” Jazz hated to complain but he was beginning to feel as if he would have been better off if Kingston had killed him. It wasn’t as if anyone would miss him.
A long time went by in silence as Greyson stared at Jazz, clearly unsure how to respond to his statement. Or, most likely, Greyson was finally understanding helping Jazz was a waste of his time.
“Would it help to know we have Kingston Huges in custody?” Greyson asked.
Jazz’s hand went to his chest, pressing the heel hard over his heart. What he wasn’t sure of, was if the action was an attempt to keep it beating, or stop it moving altogether. The fear that had enveloped him at Greyson’s announcement had him wishing, not for the first time, for his life to end.
“He’s not...” Jazz found it nearly impossible to take in any air as his throat constricted, just as if Kingston’s hands were back around it, cutting off his ability to breathe.
“Hey,” Greyson crooned softly as he knelt in front of Jazz and placed a hand on his knee.
The problem? Jazz was too far gone as his brain took him back to that moment when he’d been sure he was going to die. Instead of comforting Jazz, Greyson’s touch had him jumping up and racing to the far side of the room. He dove under the desk that was there, praying it would hide him from the danger around him.
Kingston was captured. Jazz somehow knew his former lover was there in the same house. It made sense, since his meetings with Greyson normally occurred in town, but for some reason, this time, Greyson had asked Jazz to meet him at Alpha Edrick’s house.
“Don’t let him get me,” he whispered as he curled into the tightest ball he could manage.
A loud bang alerted him that the door had been shoved open. Jazz had no idea who entered, but he was sure it was Kingston to finish the job and kill Jazz. After all, if Jazz were dead there would be no one around to point fingers, right?
“What happened?” The deep voice of Alpha Edrick barely reached Jazz’s ears as he continued to whimper, waiting for the blow he just knew would land on his body. “Where’s Jazz?”
“Under the desk,” Greyson said.
“What?” Edrick asked, clearly confused. “Why?”
“Because he thinks Kingston is going to get free and kill him,” Greyson snapped. “I told you he wasn’t ready to face Huges.”
“But we need him to tell his side.” Everything within Jazz froze at the sound of Saber’s voice as he joined the conversation. Everyone always said Saber was nice, but Jazz wasn’t sure he could trust that, not when his deer was screaming at him to make himself as small as possible in hopes the big ape shifter wouldn’t notice him, especially when he growled out, “We can’t let that bastard get away with what he did.”
“But Jazz named him,” Greyson argued. “That should be enough.”
“Except none of us even met this guy,” Saber bit out. “What if the guy who tried to kill Jazz was using Huges name? We have to have Jazz identify him or we’re going to have to free him.”
Jazz wasn’t sure it was because Saber was talking that he paid attention, or if it had just been what he said. Either way, Jazz knew if he didn’t do the impossible, one day Kingston would kill him. His deer screamed as it tried to encourage him to run as far as possible. But the human side of him knew that wasn’t an option. Not a good one, anyway.
One day, just because he could, Kingston would track him down and choke the life out of him. Only this time, he’d make sure Jazz was really dead before leaving.
The terror of never knowing when Kingston would find him overrode the fear he felt at the moment, just barely. His only advantage of facing the man now was, he had a room full of much stronger shifters than Kingston could ever hope to be, to protect him.
Slowly, he uncurled his body and crawled to the edge of the desk. Peeking out, he glanced first to make sure Greyson stood between him and the others. Then he looked at Alpha Edrick. His body shook, but the big man didn’t hold an ounce of anger on his features as he stared right back at Jazz.
There was kindness and pity. He wasn’t fond of being pitied, but Jazz would accept it if it kept him safe from punishment. Then his gaze went to Council Leader Saber. He wasn’t sure what he expected to see, but he knew it wasn’t the encouraging smile that was currently on the leader’s face.
“Jazz.” Saber tried to modulate his deep voice, making it sound like he was almost whispering. “I know seeing Kingston is a scary prospect, but I swear to you, I will keep you safe.”
Jazz appreciated Saber saying that, because he was beyond terrified. “Will...” Jazz’s throat froze up as he tried to speak. He breathed in deeply and released it on the count of ten, like Greyson had taught him whenever panic set in, which, he hated to admit, was several times a day.
“Will he be...” At least he got out two more words before he found himself unable to talk again.
Carefully, Greyson reached out, but didn’t touch Jazz, instead, allowing Jazz to grab his hand if he needed it. Ashamed to admit he did, Jazz took hold anyway. Instantly, he felt a little calmer, maybe even a little braver. “Will he be able to get near me?” Jazz got out.
Saber shook his head. “Absolutely not. If you prefer, I will allow you to give your testimony between my second, Draco Orah and my mate, Chadwick. With them at your side, no one will get close to you.”
A gasp spilled from his lips at Saber’s offer. He didn’t know Draco well, as the man didn’t come into Miracle too often, instead staying at Saber’s farm with his human mate. But he’d heard just how deadly Saber’s second was. In fact, there were rumors that Draco had the ability to kick Saber’s ass, but he chose to follow instead.
Chadwick, on the other hand, Jazz knew fairly well. Jazz’s direct boss was Zayden, but it was Chadwick who was in charge of all construction in Miracle. He decided what got built where and in what order. He also happened to be part of Alpha Edrick’s inner circle.
“And Jazz,” Edrick said. When Jazz glanced at his alpha, Edrick added, “My entire inner circle will protect you. We saw what this bastard did to you, and I look forward to killing him for his crimes. Unfortunately, Saber is right. Since none of us ever saw him, you’re the only one who can confirm his identity.”
“I-I kn-know.” Jazz might have stuttered, but he managed to get it out in one try. “Thank you.”
Edrick’s lips lifted in a small, almost sad, smile. “You belong to my pack, Jazz. It’s the least I can do after allowing this to happen to you on my watch.”
Jazz shook his head. Kingston hadn’t been Edrick’s fault. Jazz bore that blame all on his own but he was too embarrassed to say the words.
Edrick took a step toward him and leaned down until his eyes were on Jazz’s level. “None of this is on you.”
Edrick had opened his mouth as if to say more, but Greyson interrupted. “Only that bastard Kingston is responsible. He’s the one who thought beating up someone weaker than him was a good idea. Kingston is the only person here who’s guilty.”
The alpha smiled at Greyson in gratitude. Jazz wished he could believe what Greyson said, but he knew better. Jazz was a loser. It’s why he attracted people who wanted to hurt him.
He was sure fate had decided not to give him a mate. Fate knew no one would want to be strapped with him for the rest of their lives.
