| Date: | Tue, 11 Nov 2003 15:26:21 -0800 (PST) | |
| From: | “Gabe Kaplan” <gabe@gabekaplan.com> | |
| Subject: | Gabe Kaplan Raps | |
| To: | david.saslow@interscoped.com |
Dear Mr. Saslow,
Whaddup, dog? Me myself, I’m keepin’ it real. “Course, at my age, I’m startin’ to have issues wit makin’ ends. You dig? I’m ol’ school. Last night I was chillin’ wit some hotties at my crib, all g’d up, drinkin’ forty dogs, firin’ up a blunt and this ho be lookin’ at my dukey rope. I said, “bitch don’t be lookin’ at my bling bling. If you wanna bag up on my bone, you gots to axe me straight up.” Bitch says to me, “homey please, if you wanna get busy wit yo jimmy in my jenny, you gots to front the flow.” I said, “Damn, this bitch be a sack chasin’, Mrs. Howell III. I said, I ain’t lookin’ for none of dat dugout.”
So, David, what do you think of my grasp of the street lingo? Reason I ask; I’m attempting to give my career more of a contemporary “flava.” I’ve been in the business over forty years and I’ve noticed recently that audiences are tiring of my middle-of-
the-road shtick. What can I do, I thought to myself? Everywhere you turn you see people wearing over-sized clothing and jiving to the latest hip-hop rhymes. Even white performers are getting into the act, what with Eminem. The Beastie Boys, and Vanilla Ice. All the white guys try to act black and talk Ebonics. Why not me? As a force in the record business, and the man behind Fred Durst, you’re the first person I’m contacting.
I’ve written a rap song called, “Da Shit Be Different If I Was Black.” (See below) This song could kick off my new “playa-type” act. I’d like you to be the one who produces it. Do you think people will accept this from me and would you be interested in publishing it?
I’m swayze,
Gabe Kaplan
Gabe@gabekaplan.com
“Da Shit Be Different If I Was Black”
Tryin’ to get by on mailbox money
But it ain’t enough bank to keep a honey
Peeps in da house ain’t wit my shiz nit
I’m barely hangin’ on in show biz’nit
Brothas today he getting all de props
Playas look at me and call me “ol’ Pops”
They say the muthafucka once had it goin’
But holes in da ozone is all he showin’
I ONCE WAS DA MAN, BUT NOW I’M WACK
DA SHIT BE DIFFERENT IF I WAS BLACK
I wanna get down like I was new
Smokin’ boats and bombs with my bitches and crew
I wanna see my ass on the WB
Not some peckerwood show on ABC
Cause if I get a shot to do my thing
Homies be blinded by my bling bling bling
I ONCE WAS DA MAN, BUT NOW I’M WACK
DA SHIT BE DIFFERENT IF I WAS BLACK
Clowns today, their gags are all stock
But I’m so funny, I get a laugh from yo cock,
So hop this train and take the ride of yo life
Be like buggin’ on acid with Mr. Barney Fife
Transmogrification is what I’m about
And if you don’t like it, YOU CAN GET THE FUCK OUT.
I ONCE WAS DA MAN, BUT NOW I’M WACK
DA SHIT BE DIFFERENT IF I WAS BLACK
| Date: | Mon, 17 Now 2003 13:25:31 -0800 | |
| From: | “Saslow, David” <david.saslow@interscoped.com> | |
| Subject: | Gabe Kaplan Raps | |
| To: | gabe@gabekaplan.com |
Gabe,
Your skillz are nice!
-David