29
Boyer on the Bidet
| Date: | Mon, 02 Jun 2003 6:17PM | |
| From: | “Gabe Kaplan” <gabe@gabekaplan.com> | |
| Subject: | Classic Movies form - Charles Boyer | |
| To: | ann@classicmov.com |
Dear Ann,
Throughout my career, show business insiders have remarked on my uncanny likeness to the late great Charles Boyer. Our resemblance goes way beyond the physical. In 1973, I walked into a room where Marlene Dietrich stood some distance away. Squinting slightly she said, “eez date you, Chawels?” Similar encounters have occurred throughout my adult life, especially the time when I’ve been clean-shaven.
I recently took advantage of this connection by writing a surreal one-man play. Clad in a tuxedo top and boxer shorts I recount all of Charles’ life experiences while sitting in the bathroom. I call it simply, “Boyer on The Bidet.” After five minutes the audience completely forgets the nature of the set and gets lost in the magic of this man’s amazing life. People who have seen advance performances say it’s like I become Boyer. The purpose of this unusual set is merely to say that Boyer is everyman and we are all Boyer. I feel I am doing my duty by presenting his life in this humble fashion.
As a Boyer fan and scholar I would cherish your input on this project. His second cousins, Cletus and Cloyd, saw it and were very moved. In fact, the Boyer brothers said it was a shame their late brother, Kenneth (who was the closest to Charles), didn’t live to see the show.
Boyer lives,
Gabe Kaplan
gabe@gabekaplan.com
PS If you send me your email address, I can attach some pictures. You’ll be amazed at the resemblance.
| Date: | Mon, 02 Jun 2003 18:40:53-0400 | |
| From: | “Ann” <ann@classicmov.com> | |
| Subject: | FW: Classic Movies form - Charles Boyer | |
| To: | gabe@gabekaplan.com |
Dear Gabe:
Thanks for visiting my site and for writing to me. You play sounds “very interesting”. Are you truly the real “Gabe Kaplan” of Welcome back Kotter?
Sincerely,
Ann
| Date: | Tue, 03 Jun 2003 11:19:32 -0700 (PDT) | |
| From: | “Gabe Kaplan” <gabe@gabekaplan.com> | |
| Subject: | Boyer on the Bidet | |
| To: | ann@classicmov.com |
Ann,
Yes, it’s me. Thanks for replying so quickly.
Attached find a picture taken at the latest run-through. We’ve raised about 75% of the money needed to open the show. Since I speak French, (I spent two years in Belgium hosting Access Brussels) someone suggested opening the play in Paris. It’s more on the line of French sensibilities anyway (even though they do spend less time in the bathroom) and people there remember Boyer. Most Americans seem to have forgotten. When the play opens here and they see me it should rekindle some fond memories.
What’s your favorite C.B. film (after Gaslight of course)?
Gabe
gabe@gabekaplan.com
| Date: | Wed, 04 Jun 2003 12:18:46 -0700 (PDT) | |
| From: | “Gabe Kaplan” <gabe@gabekaplan.com> | |
| Subject: | Hope you weren’t offended | |
| To: | ann@classicmov.com |
Ann,
I hope my picture in the top hat, tails and boxer shorts didn’t offend you. That’s the play. I know it can be a shock to some people’s sensibilities. Any relevant Boyer information you’d like to share?
Gabe
gabe@gabekaplan.com
| Date: | Wed, 04 Jun 2003 19:04:51 -0400 | |
| From: | “Ann” <ann@classicmov.com> | |
| Subject: | Re: Hope you weren’t offended | |
| To: | gabe@gabekaplan.com |
Dear Gabe:
The photo did not offend me. Sorry, I just haven’t had time to respond. However, I will be honest with you, I am having trouble deciding if you really are Gabe Kaplan. If it is the real “you”, I apologize for my skepticism, but the web is a big place and there are lots of “crazy” people out there. Is there some other way you can identify yourself to me?
Thanks.
Ann
| Date: | Wed, 04 Jun 2003 20:32:07 -0700 (PDT) | |
| From: | “Gabe Kaplan” <gabe@gabekaplan.com> | |
| Subject: | Re: Hope you weren’t offended | |
| To: | ann@classicmov.com |
Dear Ann:
I can understand you being skeptical from just the post. But didn’t you think that was me in the picture? If you’re telling me that looked more like Boyer than Kaplan, I’m flattered. Why would anyone make up a story about a surrealistic play and then pose on stage for a picture like that just to get some CB insight? I’d have to be guy that doesn’t get out much.
Best,
Gabe
gabe@gebekaplan.com
| Date: | Thu, 05 Jun 2003 09: 31 17 -0400 | |
| From: | “Ann” <ann@classicmov.com> | |
| Subject: | Re: Hope you weren’t offended | |
| To: | gabe@gabekaplan.com |
Dear Gabe:
Believe it or not, it is possible for someone to take your picture, edit it in PhotoShop, place your head on another body that is sitting on a bidet. It is also possible for anyone to purchase your head name as a domain, set up a web site and copy your bio from the other site. However, I think you have convinced me that it is the “real” you. I hope you understand that I’m not accustomed to having celebrities contact me so, hence the skepticism.
I think its great that you are doing a show about Boyer. We certainly need to keep his memory alive and knowing your humor, its probably really fun to watch. What made you decide to use the “bidet”? Are you planning on touring with the play? What else are you doing these days?
Ann
| Date: | Thu, 05 Jun 2003 23:43:03 -0700 (PDT) | |
| From: | “Gabe Kaplan” <gabe@gabekaplan.com> | |
| Subject: | Why Boyer | |
| To: | ann@classicmov.com |
Ann,
The main reason I picked Boyer in the beginning was the physical resemblance. However, the more I find out about him, the more I realize he is perfect subject for this play. He is mankind. He is a guy’s guy, but he has a feminine side. He is dignified, but has to use the bathroom. He speaks English, but with an accent. He is everyman. Plus he had a monogamous lifestyle.
Each century has an infrastructure. If you take apart the twentieth, you’ll find Boyer sitting on top of the smoking pile, smoking a French cigarette.
Did I forget to tell you that I lived in Belgium for two years? I hosted “Access Brussels” so I’m fluent in French. We might open the play in Pairs. So far, we have raised 70% of the money.
Gabe
gabe@gabekaplan.com