2Crafting Reality with Thought

It’s now time to embark on your journey. You’ll begin by learning how to more skillfully use the inherent creative power of your mind.

Of all the knowledge pertaining to the evolution of the human condition that has come to light in this extraordinary time in which we live, none is more promising than this idea: We make and shape our character and the conditions of our life by what we think. By becoming adept at consciously directing your thought, you can create the life you want and take charge of your destiny.

You could spend years becoming self-aware, but in order to change anything you must become skillful in applying the principles of directed thought, otherwise known as manifestation. Self-awareness without mastery of manifestation renders awareness impotent. By the same token, knowing how to manifest without self-awareness renders life impotent. The empowerment growth process is uniquely designed to bring these two complementary dimensions—self-awareness and manifestation—together.

This in-depth approach will build on whatever training in manifestation you might already have, but does not depend on any prior knowledge or experience. Indeed, for some people, prior knowledge may not be an asset. They might have learned an overly simplistic approach to manifestation and become discouraged when they did not achieve the result they desired. Or they utilized these techniques effectively, but without adequate self-awareness, and manifested outcomes that were ultimately unfulfilling. Our approach to manifestation involves more than mastery of powerful techniques; it is mastery of a self-aware, conscious life.

Principles of Manifestation

“And the night was still as they were given the greatest gift that humankind can receive—the formula for having their prayers answered.”

—ANONYMOUS

Knowledge of manifestation has been part of the wisdom teachings of many traditions for millennia. Today this knowledge is readily available, but because of this accessibility, people don’t always recognize the potency of these principles and techniques. And if they do, they may not fully appreciate their extraordinary power until they have seen them consistently bear fruit over time. We have been working with them for our entire adult lives and hold them in awe. As we learned how to skillfully apply these principles and techniques, we discovered that not only were our prayers (otherwise known as affirmations and visualizations) answered, but our lives took on greater ease as we found ourselves living more in harmony with the universe.

We’ll begin by introducing the three basic principles of manifestation so that you understand the why and then we’ll share the techniques so that you understand the how. People often learn the principles without learning how to apply them. Just as often, they learn the applications but don’t understand why they work. To be most effective you need to know both.

What we will be sharing with you is based on our research, personal experiences, and observations of the many people with whom we have worked over the years. Feel free to translate our ideas and language into any tradition, belief system, or way of viewing life with which you’re comfortable. They all describe the operating principles of the same universe. Most importantly, use the principles and techniques in your own life and judge their effectiveness for yourself.

PRINCIPLE OF CREATIVE THOUGHT

Poet and philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote that what we think is what we create and called this principle the “law of laws.” In Job it is written that “Thou shall decree a thing and it shall be established unto thee.” James Allen said, “The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to reflect their inner beliefs.”

This is just a small sampling from the many who examined the nature of our human experience and reached the same conclusion: What manifests in our life is a direct result of the thoughts that we think about each day. If we want to change any part of our present life, we must change the beliefs that created it. And in order to create something new in our life, we must first mentally create the new belief.

At first, this sounds so easy: Why don’t we all simply affirm good things in our lives and wait for them come to pass? If only life were so simple. Most of us are not conscious of our beliefs, which makes the process complex. In fact, the majority of the beliefs each of us manifest are not only unconscious, but often self-limiting.

Part of the human condition is accepting limiting beliefs without realizing how much they impact our lives. Thoughts like “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t have what it takes to have [a loving relationship, prosperity, the work I want, peace of mind, etc.]” profoundly influence the shape of our individual worlds. Most of our pain, fear, and suffering are also caused by these unconscious and self-limiting beliefs.

To change these beliefs requires commitment, concentration, and courage to thoughtfully examine and alter the ways you view yourself and the world. The process of observing and transforming these limiting beliefs we call mental clearing.

PRINCIPLE OF MENTAL CLEARING

We can’t effectively manifest a new belief if we are simultaneously holding on to an old, entrenched belief that opposes this new idea. One of the major mistakes people make when working with the manifestation principles is thinking that all they need to do is affirm what they want and it will happen. What manifests is what we really believe, not what we would like to believe. Until our self-limiting beliefs are made conscious and transformed, they will continue to inhibit our ability to create what we want.

Before we can create prosperity in our life, for instance, we must release our belief that we are not worthy. Before we can manifest a healthy relationship, we must clear away self-negating beliefs that say we’re not good enough to be loved. Before we can realize our full potential as human beings, we must be willing to let go of our fear of failure.

Yet it is often difficult to let go of the familiar. Even when parts of our present life are causing us pain and suffering, we often still will not let go. Our present discomfort is so familiar and safe it has become our identity. Who will we be without this pain and suffering? So how do we let go? Throughout the rest of this book, you will learn specific techniques to assist you in the process of mental clearing. But the starting point is the principle of vision.

PRINCIPLE OF VISION

We are most willing to release limiting beliefs, emotional pain, and other unwanted baggage when we have a clear vision of what we will replace it with. The clearer our vision, the more we will be attracted to it, and the less hold our limiting beliefs will have on us. We are motivated to clear out the rocks, weeds, and stumps that litter a plot of land when we have a vision of the garden we wish to create. We are willing to let go of the old trapeze when we see the new one swinging toward us. We are willing to release our fear of being hurt in a relationship when we envision having a loving partner in life.

Think of yourself as a sculptor molding a creative, extraordinary, and flexible substance—thought. Your creation, which happens to be your life, will embody the ideas and pictures you hold in your mind.

Creating a vision for your life requires a willingness to explore and discover what’s important to you, not somebody else. You need to ask yourself questions like these: What do I value? What are my priorities? Where does my passion lie? What gives meaning to my life? What is my purpose in life? What is my heart’s desire? Asking these types of questions is one of the most creative, dynamic, and demanding undertakings in which you will ever engage.

To the degree that you have a lucid personal vision in your mind, your life will begin to change in response to it. One of the most important things you will be doing on this journey is discovering and articulating a clear vision for your life.

The Three Principles of Manifestation

Principle of Creative Thought: What manifests in our life is a result of the beliefs we hold.

Principle of Mental Clearing: To create new, life-affirming beliefs, we must first clear out the old, self-limiting beliefs.

Principle of Vision: The more compelling our vision, the more we are attracted to manifesting it and transforming any limiting beliefs standing in its way.

Techniques of Manifestation

Let’s now look at the “how” of manifestation—the techniques that allow us to apply these principles.

The process of manifesting our thoughts is one of the most natural things we do. Our lives today reflect our past thinking. Our lives in the future will mirror our thinking today. In other words, consciously or not, you are already manifesting and the techniques you will be learning don’t require any unusual ability. However, they do require you to be aware of where you want to direct your mental attention and to learn how to do it with skill. They also require you to use the manifestation process consciously rather than continuing to unconsciously manifest things you don’t want.

Think of your mind as a piece of fertile land. Taking control of your thoughts and beliefs makes the difference between a cultivated and productive garden and a patch of wild, overgrown earth. Whether cultivated or neglected, something will grow. If you don’t deliberately plant the seeds of something you want, then weeds will grow.

There are two aspects to manifesting. First, you need to create a potent mental seed, which consists of a directed thought called an affirmation and a specific image called a visualization. Second, you need to cultivate and nourish this mental seed so that it grows to fruition—this is called the germination process.

AFFIRMATION: THE SEED THOUGHT

An affirmation is a statement of intention describing what you want in your life. It is an articulation of the new belief you are creating. To be effective it needs to be:

Written Down

There’s an enormous difference between thinking about something and actually writing it down. Putting an affirmation on paper begins the process of defining and articulating what you want. It also allows you to begin owning the possibility of this intention becoming your new reality.

Stated in the Positive

Most of us approach growth as a process of overcoming problems as opposed to creating something we want. We attempt to change something in our life that isn’t working. This is usually done by negating what we don’t want: “I’m no longer going to be afraid of my boss” or “I’m going to lose weight.” The desired change can just as easily and with much greater power be stated in the positive: “I easily express myself when speaking with my boss” or “I am lean, healthy, and fit.”

When we affirm what we don’t want, we are actually putting energy into it and nourishing it with our mental attention. Instead of getting rid of it, we are bringing it more powerfully into our life. Going back to our example, we are reinforcing fear and a negative self-image every time we repeat the words “fear of my boss” or “being overweight” and associating these unpleasant conditions with our life. We then need to apply additional mental energy to negate their power. However, when you affirm positive thoughts, you immediately begin manifesting the things you desire.

One student of ours, after reframing his desire to quit smoking in the positive, wrote the following in his journal: “I did not smoke today and, for the most part, had no desire. I changed my affirmation from ‘I should not smoke because it is bad for me’ to ‘I want to put only good things in my body.’ This has made such a difference!”

Succinct

The more to the point and articulate your affirmation is, the easier it will be for you to focus on it. A common mistake is combining several related issues into one statement. This weakens the power of the affirmation, for it is much easier to concentrate on one idea at a time rather than several all at once. If you find that you have combined two or more issues in one affirmation, you should separate them into different statements.

Avoid making your affirmations wordy. Excess words are often a result of hazy thinking and may indicate that you are not yet clear about what it is you want to bring into existence. You might begin by saying “I feel lousy whenever my boss talks to me that way. I know I could come back with a good reply if only I weren’t so afraid of him. I am failing to express what I am feeling, and that makes me feel worse. I know I could do so much better, and I am resolved to do better in the future.”

A positive, succinct affirmation that addresses the core of this issue would be “I easily express myself when speaking with my boss.” An affirmation should not be an essay. It may start out as one, but it must be whittled down to its essentials if it is to carry power. Remember, you are sculpting a single key thought.

Specific

The more specific your affirmation, the clearer the results will be in your life. A fussy and vague affirmation will manifest fussy and vague results. Many people walk around in a fog because they haven’t taken the time to become clear about what is important to them. They think life will just work out, even though they’ve taken little or no responsibility for making that happen.

Sometimes we look for reasons to avoid being specific. You may say, “I can’t be specific because I don’t know what I want.” If you don’t know what you want, ask yourself what is important to you and focus on the specifics you do know. For example, if you want a new job, state all the details you know and the date by which you want it. “I have a great new job that is rewarding and that challenges me mentally in an outdoor environment; I’m making ___ [amount of money] a year by March 1.”

Some people worry that if they are too specific they’ll overlook something. The truth is that you’ll never have all the information you need to make a perfect decision; some information will always be missing. Do the best you can and if you find that your first choice was not wise, learn from the experience and make a better choice next time.

For some people, being specific can be scary. It means committing to something important to you with the possibility that you may fail to achieve it. You might become disappointed, frustrated, and sad. You might create something that is not exactly what you want. You may make “mistakes.” But the only way you can become practiced as a creator is through the act of creating. What comes back to you is simply feedback that helps you refine your understanding of what you value most in life and how to create it.

Again, it’s important to remember that you are creating your life every time you think a thought. The only difference is that now you are doing it consciously.

Magnetic

Make your affirmation as attractive as possible. Use words that you find exciting, enlivening, and that represent your personal poetry. The more the language of the affirmation evokes deep feelings within you, the more you’ll be able to put your full energy behind it.

For example, someone whose growing edge is his or her appearance might affirm, “I am well dressed and attractive.” While this may be an accurate summary of his or her intention, it could be stated in a much more enlivening way: “My appearance delights me and makes me proud to be alive!” The more passion an affirmation has, the more it will command your attention and belief.

Stated As If It Already Exists

If you want your seed thought to come to fruition now, you should state it in the present tense. If you state your affirmation as something that will happen in the future, it will remain locked in the future. “I am” or “I have” acknowledges that the mental seed is planted and can now grow. “I will” or “I hope” keeps the seed dormant as a future possibility. What we hold in our thoughts is what we create, whether or not we know the means by which the manifestation will happen.

Includes You in It

Use I, me, your name, or any other method of allowing you to personally identify with the affirmation. Sometimes people make general statements, such as “The universe is abundant” when they mean, “I have an abundant life.”

If you are changing conditioning you have accepted from others, it’s sometimes helpful to state the affirmation in both the first and third person, saying, “I am a lovable person” and “[My name] is a lovable person.” This helps deepen your belief in the affirmation.

About Changes for Yourself, Not Others

Human nature being what it is, we often look at others as the cause of the problems we have with them, instead of looking at ourselves. Given this point of view, we might say, “If only my spouse [boss, mother, father, etc.] would change, this problem would go away.” More rarely do people say, “I contributed to this problem and I can change it.”

The primary things we do have control over are our attitude and behavior. If you direct your affirmations to bringing about changes in yourself, you will be surprised by how much this affects your relationship with other people. The dynamic of a relationship changes as you change. You may begin to perceive that what initially seemed to be another person’s problem was actually a problem created by the way you interacted with each other.

For example, you might affirm, “My relationship is steady and wonderful because my husband is learning to accept who I am.” This places responsibility squarely upon your husband’s shoulders and provides you with an excuse for refusing to change yourself. We would suggest rephrasing the affirmation like this: “I take personal responsibility for creating a wonderful, caring relationship.”

Someone needs to play the role of victim in order to be taken advantage of. If the person being victimized no longer chooses to be the victim, the person taking advantage must change. It’s amazing to see how powerfully this works in practice. The most effective and enduring way to change a situation is to change your own attitude and behavior. Of course, this doesn’t rule out speaking to and working with the other person to resolve problems.

Keeps on the Growing Edge to Avoid Sabotage

An affirmation must exist within the realm of possibility for you to fully accept it. You will subconsciously throw up resistance if your affirmation contains an unrealistically large stretch from where you are. However, there must be enough of a stretch to excite your interest in creating it.

If you have low self-esteem, you probably won’t be able to believe an affirmation such as “I love myself.” It contains too much of a stretch and, in all likelihood, you will subconsciously reject it. You need to back up a step and create an affirmation like this: “I am capable of loving and valuing myself.” After a while, you may notice that you have grown enough to be able to accept the affirmation “I love myself.”

Creating an affirmation that addresses your growing edge is an art. This is the place where the insights you have gained from your self-awareness work meet the skills you have attained in manifestation. Together these approaches create the potential for fulfilling and lasting growth. And the more we engage in this process of conscious self-creation, the better we get at it.

SUMMARY

In summary, your affirmation should be:

• Written down

• Stated in the positive

• Succinct

• Specific

• Magnetic

• Stated as if it already exists

• One that includes you in it

• About changes for yourself, not others

• Kept on the growing edge

VISUALIZATION: THE SEED IMAGE

A visualization is a mental image or picture of what you want to create in your life. Some people find that they are more attracted to images than words because an image is more emotionally appealing. Others feel more comfortable working with the words of an affirmation because words can convey an idea more specifically. Affirmation and visualization, used in tandem, create the best results. Like a movie, images and narration together have the greatest impact.

Visualization does not require special skills that only visually oriented people have. It’s a process of creativity and imagination, rather than an optical technique.

In order to visualize, you need to think of an image that represents the thing that you want. If you want a house, begin to think about how you want that house to look. What style is it? Where is it located? How many rooms does it have? What is it made of? What colors is it painted?

If what you want is more intangible, such as greater peace of mind, you can build the image slowly. You can create a more peaceful image of yourself detail by detail. How does your face and body look when you are more serene? How do you physically move? Before you know it, Voilà! You have just sketched a mental picture.

Until you can visualize something as being possible, that thing cannot begin to manifest. You must see the possibility clearly in order to move toward it. The more clearly you can visualize what it is you want, the easier it will be for you to manifest it.

If you can think of an image or picture, you are capable of manifesting it. Since everyone can think of images, everyone can manifest them. If you can see them clearly in your mind’s eye, all the better. Once you begin thinking in images, your ability to visualize will improve.

To have the greatest power to manifest, your visualization should:

Evoke Feeling

Persuasive TV ads evoke feelings in us that make us want to buy products. Your mental images should accomplish the same task. Your mental pictures should provoke such strong feelings of excitement that you will want those images to manifest in your life immediately. The more emotionally appealing the picture, the more enthusiasm you will have to create it.

If you want to lose weight and become more fit, create an exciting mental image of your body the way you want it. Notice the details: the way a specific garment looks, what color it is, how it feels to your touch and on your body, how healthy your body is, how proud you feel. Lo and behold, your emotions begin to build. This emotional excitement will translate into physical actions to help bring your visualized body image into real life.

Use a Single Image

Create a simple mental picture that is meaningful to you. Think of your mental picture as a billboard. Just like one depicting a scene from a movie or a snapshot capturing a particular moment in time, yours should display one strong image. If you tried to create a whole movie, your concentration would dissipate. If this billboard image is exciting enough, it will help energize your desire to create the whole movie.

If your goal is to have a romantic relationship, you might have several random images and a number of vaguely formed ideas of what that means. You might envision bicycling down a country lane with your partner, a romantic candlelight dinner, or a weekend together at the beach.

This collection of ideas, while pleasant, is not distilled enough to serve as a constant touchstone for a powerful visualization. Abstract the meaning from each one by asking yourself what feeling you are seeking through each activity. Then create a single image that contains the essence of each example. Using the images above, your single image might be during a candlelight dinner reaching across the table and touching your lover’s hands while glancing into his or her eyes. Whatever the image, it should succinctly sum up the meaning of that desire for you.

Include You in the Image

You are the star of this true-to-life story, so make sure you are featured in the billboard advertisement. See yourself happily enjoying whatever it is that you have mentally created. Allow yourself to bask in the satisfaction of your accomplishment.

Be Literal or Metaphoric

Sometimes you will want to create an image that exactly replicates something you want to bring into your life; other times you may find using a metaphor more appropriate. Whichever option you choose depends on personal preference and how abstract your growth issue is.

If you are working on developing greater personal prosperity, you might create a literal mental picture—you at a twenty-four-hour ATM machine, having just punched in your code, staring at a large bank balance on the screen. If you are working on an attitude, say, a belief in an abundant universe, you might create a metaphoric mental picture—you standing in a rapidly moving stream with the water flowing toward you easily and abundantly, or you standing in a beautiful natural landscape breathing in abundant and invigorating air.

Be Physically Depicted

Like the affirmation, the act of expressing your visualization on paper helps it come physically alive. Stick figures and line drawings are totally satisfactory; this has nothing to do with artistic ability. You are the exclusive audience for this work of art and will discover, once you start, how much fun it is. The more fun it looks, the more attracted to it you will be and the sooner it can manifest. Be creative. Use colored pens and pastels to add color to your drawing.

If you aren’t inclined to draw, cut pictures from magazines, use photographs, or simply describe it in words. The point is to do whatever allows the visualization to come alive for you. You might also wish to physically act out your visualization. This helps bring your visualization into your body and further enlivens it.

SUMMARY

In summary, your visualization should:

• Evoke feeling.

• Use a single image.

• Include you in the image.

• Be literal or metaphoric.

• Be physically depicted.

GERMINATION: ENERGIZING THE MENTAL SEED

A seed thought (affirmation), combined with a seed image (visualization), produces a mental seed (sometimes called a thought form). The affirmation and visualization process has literally given shape, definition, and form to a thought. This is now a potent, complete mental seed ready to grow. It now must be given energy to germinate.

To allow your mental seed to grow and bloom, you first need to create expectancy. You create whatever you expect to create. If you expect things to come your way, they come your way. If you expect things to be difficult for you, they are difficult. Henry Ford said it best with elegant simplicity: “If you think you can, you can; if you think you can’t, you can’t.” Our world mirrors our expectations. What we believe we will have in our lives is what we create in our lives. This should sound familiar to you by now. To manifest your affirmation and visualization, you need to believe it can manifest. You must have a confident expectation, a state of knowing.

This knowing will be a breeze for some of your affirmations and visualizations. As soon as you are clear about what you want, you know you will make it happen. In these instances, the issue becomes getting a clear vision, not believing you can make the change. Some changes, however, involve long-standing, entrenched emotional patterns and limiting belief systems. The envisioned changes may seem impossible to bring about. How can you create belief in a new possibility when for so long you thought no change was possible and have empirical proof from all your failed efforts?

You start by creating an affirmation and visualization that is on your growing edge, using the methods we’ve just described. The effort required to get to this point builds confidence and hope—an essential first step. You may not fully believe that your affirmation and visualization will manifest, but if it is truly on your growing edge, then at least you believe it is possible. Now you must nourish this seed and let nature take its course.

The principal way to nourish your affirmation and visualization is by the simple act of repeating and visualizing it on a daily basis. This constant attention slowly and ever so surely nourishes this mental seed, until one day you find yourself accepting your affirmation and visualization as a fact in your life: You deeply believe it will manifest. At this point, you make the major shift from hoping to knowing, and the mental seed is germinated. Manifestation will begin.

On the pragmatic side, you will begin wholeheartedly performing the actions that will promote manifestation. You are committed to a vision you believe will manifest, so you do what it takes to make it happen.

On the less tangible side, you will begin to attract the conditions, circumstances, and people necessary to bring your vision into manifestation. This aspect is truly mysterious. Just the right person appears in your life all of a sudden. Whatever you need seems to appear by “coincidence.” In all the years we have experienced this process, we never cease to be amazed by it. Although this phenomenon, sometimes called the “law of attraction,” is mysterious, it is nonetheless perfectly reliable. The fact that we don’t fully understand why something works doesn’t stop us from being able to benefit from it.

The German writer and philosopher Johann Wolfgang von Goethe describes it this way:

The moment one definitely commits oneself then Providence moves, too. All sorts of things occur to help that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings, and material assistance, which no man would have dreamed would come his way.

It is the same principle that allows a seed planted in the ground to attract all the nutrients from the soil that it needs in order to grow. Why this happens is an inexplicable mystery of nature. This holistic view of the workings of our universe is described well by the old Hermetic maxim, “As above, so below.” As soon as we firmly believe in our vision—embodied in our affirmation and visualization—we find ourselves attracting the worldly “nutrients” we need for our mental seed to grow to fruition.

The principles and techniques outlined in this chapter will be put to regular use throughout your journey of empowerment. We hope they will be trusted friends by the time you complete this book. This is knowledge you will be able to use for the rest of your life.

Questions on Crafting Reality with Thought

Many people have asked the following questions as they begin to apply this new knowledge.

Question: How much time and effort do I need to put into my affirmation and visualization? Do I need to think about it all day long in order for it to manifest?

Answer: It is the quality of our mental attention, not the quantity that counts. The key to having your mental seed grow to fruition is your belief in it.

This belief is not something that requires constant repetition throughout the day. As a matter of fact, such repetition can be counterproductive, for underlying it is often the fear that your affirmation won’t manifest. Remember, what manifests is what we believe, not what we hope for. If our fear of our affirmation not manifesting is what we think about all day, then of course it is this fear that will get energized. And that is what will manifest. If you spend just five minutes each day— before you go to sleep, or when you wake up, or while exercising—and give your full attention to knowing, affirming, and visualizing what will be in your life, you will have done enough.

It is also possible that you have created an affirmation and visualization that is so exciting that you can’t help but think about it. This is fine as long as you’re not thinking about it out of anxiety or fear. If we keep digging up our mental seed to see if it is sprouting yet, we get in the way of a simple and natural process. Gentle knowing and patience are qualities that best support the growing process. Nature’s patience is a wonderful example to follow.

Question: If my affirmation and visualization does not manifest, what does this mean?

Answer: It means that you need to examine the process you went through in conceiving it. Some of the questions you can ask yourself include:

• Am I over my growing edge, and are my resistances sabotaging the growth process?

• Am I keeping myself so safe that I don’t have enough motivation to create the change?

• Have I been comprehensive enough in my mental clearing or are there still deeply held limiting beliefs that run counter to my affirmation?

• Is this something I really want to put my energy behind or am I operating under someone else’s belief?

• Do I possess the worldly skills necessary to manifest this vision or do I need more knowledge or experience?

• Is the climate in the world conducive to what I want to manifest or do I need to allow the seed to lie dormant for a while?

It is unusual for your first attempt to create your vision in the form that it will ultimately manifest. Your vision has to interact with the world and be seasoned by experience. For this to happen, you must put your full intention behind your vision—and then pay attention to what happens. You will receive internal and external feedback. This feedback is essential in helping you know whether or not your vision is on course and, if it is not, the feedback will assist you in making appropriate adjustments. Skillfully interpreting the feedback we receive is a core skill for successful manifestation.

Manifesting a vision is an organic process of adaptation. A seed planted in the ground automatically adjusts as it interacts with rocks, roots, poor growing conditions, and so on. This way of growth and manifestation is no different for us. As we interact with the feedback we receive externally and internally, we need to be able to adjust our vision accordingly.

One of our students, Beth, spent some time attempting to manifest her vision and was unsuccessful. She thought she wanted to get married, yet none of her relationships lasted. She came to us just when she was nearly ready to consider herself a failure and give up hope of ever being able to create an enduring relationship with a man.

After some exploration, she discovered that her real passion wasn’t about getting married; that was her mother’s belief, not hers. What Beth wanted was to experience life more fully before settling into a long-term relationship.

Beth wasn’t motivated strongly enough to energize her affirmation and visualization because she had accepted someone else’s dream unconsciously. Beth’s attention to the feedback she got (no relationship that lasted) allowed her to adjust her vision to find out what she wanted in a relationship and create relationships without the pressure of needing them to lead to marriage. This allowed her to be much happier in these relationships because they were appropriate for where she was at this point in her life.

Don’t give up after the first try and tell yourself that you “don’t know how to do this,” or say that “this doesn’t work.” Notice what happens and use the feedback as an opportunity for self-discovery. Learn from it and recraft your vision, based on what you have learned.

The manifestation process will mirror your internal process perfectly; it can’t be any other way. If you use the feedback you receive wisely, it will offer you the choice fruits of self-discovery and self-creation.

Question: How does the idea of crafting my reality through my thinking fit with the concept of going with the flow?

Answer: We can’t avoid creating our own reality; each time we think a thought we are creating it. Every belief we hold is shaping what we experience in our life. The process of noticing what we think and believe is the process of becoming conscious.

If by “going with the flow” you mean not making any choices or decisions and letting be what will be, then you are abdicating your ability to function as a conscious human being. You are using “being in the flow” as an excuse for being asleep at the wheel. You are also misinterpreting the Taoist concept of being in the flow.

To be “in the flow” is to be in harmony with the universe. It is possible to experience an active relationship with the universe, but it requires conscious intention and skill to step into its flow. Like riding the crest of a wave, you need to actively work toward mastering its rhythms. If you want to achieve this, you will need to take responsibility for creating it, because it will not happen on its own. What often happens when someone says that he is “in the flow,” is that his mind becomes a mishmash of the unconscious beliefs he picks up as he floats along. Like a twig on a river, he is constantly bumped around and never finds his way.

Remember, your thoughts are always creating your reality—it’s up to you to take charge of your thoughts and consciously create a reality that is fulfilling to you. The alternative is a reality that is unconscious and haphazard. It’s always your choice.

Question: Am I responsible for creating what happens to me in my life?

Answer: If we accept the basic premise that our thoughts create our reality, it means that we need to take responsibility for creating all of our reality—the parts we like and the parts we don’t like. Although it’s easy to take responsibility for the good things, we would all prefer to find some outside source on which to blame our misfortunes. For many of us it is scary to take total responsibility for our lives.

A large part of this fear stems from having to look honestly at our thinking and acknowledge that one or more of our beliefs or judgments contributed to our present situation. Because our culture equates making an error with being bad, sinful, stupid, or unspiritual, our self-worth is threatened when we admit that we made an error in our thinking.

As we broaden our understanding of the way growth takes place, we begin to recognize the difficult experiences we have in our life for what they truly are—feedback about our beliefs.

When we understand this, we free ourselves of negative self-judgment. Our energy is available to create a new reality instead of being bound up in denying our old reality. We are now in a position to learn and grow from these experiences so that we do not have to keep repeating them. Life becomes an evolving process where we learn through trial and error; where it’s not only okay to make mistakes in our thinking, it’s an inherent part of growing and being alive.

Question: If, despite deep searching, I don’t discover the belief that is causing me a difficult experience, can I still change the experience?

Answer: For any number of reasons, we may fall short as we attempt to find the belief that is at the root of a difficult experience. Sometimes it’s because we need greater self-awareness; sometimes the belief is held at a very subtle level; or we may need more skill in using these tools. And sometimes we are not willing to accept that our beliefs create our experiences in life.

Although this process is easier if we know what belief caused our present situation, the lack of that knowledge does not have to be a stumbling block. Our power is in the present. If we are willing to take responsibility for what we are thinking now, we can change our future, regardless of what we thought in the past.