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I am deeply indebted to the people whose stories I tell in these pages, as well as the hundreds of other Syrians who shared with me their time, testimony, and experiences, often during some of the worst moments of their lives. I never for a second took any of that for granted. I am forever humbled by the generosity of Syrians who hosted me in their homes, their tents, and their military bases with a hospitality that is as boundless as it is typically Syrian.
How to thank the Syrians who warned me of kidnapping threats? The ones who kept me safe? The many, some now dead, who helped me navigate borders and understand the social, military, and political terrain I entered? I wish I could publicly name and thank you all, but it’s still not safe to do so without endangering some of you. Shukran jazilan, and inshallah your worst days, and Syria’s, are behind you.
I could not have written this book without the generous support of the New America Fellows Program, particularly Director Peter Bergen, and Board Member William Gerrity. The wonderful people at the Carey Institute in upstate New York offered me a residency in a setting so serene and beautiful it mitigated the pain of reopening my notebooks and reliving the story, as I first attempted to write it. Elaina Richardson kindly invited me to the heaven of Yaddo, gifting me a writer’s residency in Truman Capote’s majestic former workspace in the Tower. My friend and agent at Sterling Lord Literistic, Robert Guinsler, believed I had a Syria book in me before I did, and had my back at every crisis. Editor Tom Mayer at Norton is a writer’s dream. He understood and respected my vision for this book and helped make it better. Thank you Tom, Sarah Bolling, Emma Hitchcock, and all the behind-the-scenes staff at Norton, including sharp-eyed copyeditor Kathleen Brandes.
Freelance journalism is a tough, lonely hustle. Good publishing opportunies are like unicorns. I’m grateful to the many editors who published my Syria work over the years at Time (thanks Howard Chua-Eoan!), Politico, Foreign Policy, Foreign Affairs, Al-Jazeera America, and The New Yorker, particularly Amy Davidson Sorkin and David Remnick, who have always been very generous to me.
I am strengthened by the many circles of sisterhood that envelop me, starting with my own sisters: Marian, Reema, Mirna, and Leanne—only borders separate us. My darling nieces and nephew. The formidable ladies of Beirut’s Jabhat al-Niswan: Leena Saidi, Suzan Haidamous, Dalia Khamissy, Mariam Karouny, Nour Samaha, and my guardian angel, Hwaida Saad. My cybersisters in ink: Vivian Salama, Hannah Allam, Alia Malek, Maria Abi Habib, Leila Fadel, Rym Momtaz, and Anne Barnard. Thank you, Nazha Merabi and Connie Zandi, for your constant encouragement over the years. The brothers who are honorary sisters, some of whom I inflicted my manuscript on: Matthias Bruggmann, Ghaith Abdul-Ahad, Nir Rosen, Martin Chulov, and Mohammed Aly Sergie. The Deca writers’ collective, of which I’m honored to be a part, helped brainstorm the subtitle (especially Delphine!).
Shukran Abu Jacky for translating most of the poems.
Finally, thank you to my selfless, hard-working mum and dad for raising daughters to know we could do and be anything. You taught us that our greatest assets in life were each other, and blessings such as a solid education, the things you carry within you not with you when one of those “single abrupt events that can upend everything” happens. You knew from experience.