The next morning, I woke to the soft sunrise shining through the curtains. Trey slept beside me, one arm draped over my hips. I propped myself up on one elbow and just gazed at him for a while, admiring his long lashes and the way his wavy hair framed his sleeping face. I remembered waking up with him in the clinic all those months ago and fleeing as if I could somehow outrun my feelings for him. It was selfish, but I was glad it didn't work. I didn't want to run from him ever again.
“You keep starin’ at me like that, and I’m gonna have to kiss you,” he murmured without even opening his eyes, one corner of his mouth curling up.
I smiled. “Is that a promise?”
He cracked his eyes open, a lazy grin spreading across his face. “It is a promise.”
When he grabbed me and pulled me on top of him, I let out a little shriek of surprise, but then his lips were on mine, and I melted. I would never get enough of this, of him.
He groaned against my mouth as I wiggled my hips. We were both still naked and I could feel the hardness of him against my body. I grinned and did it again, and his eyes opened, dark with want.
“We should probably get up and get goin’,” he murmured.
“We probably should,” I agreed, dipping my head to gently bite his collarbone.
His fingers tightened on my hips, another groan escaping him. “Gods, Bones.”
“Or we could see where this goes,” I countered with a grin.
“I like that option better,” he said, pulling my head back down to kiss me again.
A few hours passed before we managed to get dressed and leave that peaceful little room. I wished we could stay and take our time. Maybe someday we could afford that luxury.
Zeke smiled when we came down the stairs. “Mornin’. You folks sleep alright?”
“Yes, thanks.” Trey smiled back. “You’ve got a real nice place here.”
“Been in the family a long time,” Zeke said, pleased. “The hot water work for yah?”
“It did,” I answered. “Thank you. It was lovely to take a hot bath.”
Zeke’s smile softened again as he glanced at me. “I lost my wife a couple years back to a fever. We had nearly twenty-seven years together, but it still feels too short.” He looked at Trey. “Don’t take a single moment for granted.”
Trey’s hand found mine and squeezed. “I’m so sorry for your loss,” he said to Zeke and I nodded in agreement. “That’s good advice,” Trey continued, smiling down at me. “I know I haven’t stopped thankin’ my lucky stars I met her, and I’m not sure I ever will.”
My eyes prickled and Zeke beamed, his eyes bright.
“Nice to see a young couple in love,” he said, his voice gruff with emotion.
“Do you have any dried flowers or herbs in stock?” I asked, desperate to change the subject. “And some oil? Sunflower would work.”
Zeke cleared his throat. “Got some sunflower oil over there on the shelf,” he said, gesturing. “We got several dried herbs. You’ll find those in the jars to your left.”
I found calendula and wild plantain and a small amount of horsetail plus the sunflower oil and a small bottle to put it in. When I brought my supplies up to the front, Zeke had left.
“Got us a horse.” Trey grinned.
“How are you payin’ for all this?” I asked, lowering my voice.
“With the silencer,” Trey answered. “It coulda got us two horses, but Zeke’s only got one extra right now. So he gave me the rest back in gold.”
I blinked in quiet astonishment. It made sense that silencers were so valuable since I’d never seen one before. The Reapers had what I assumed must be every single weapon and then some, but none of them had silencers.
“He’s saddlin’ the horse up now.” Trey glanced at my hands. “You find somethin’ that’ll work? Zeke said if you wanted to make your infusion you were welcome to use the kitchen. I’m gonna see if Zeke needs any help.”
Zeke’s kitchen looked worn, but tidy. As I began to rub the dried herbs between my hands to release more of the oils before dropping them in the jar, a slight noise made me glance down at my feet. Somehow, I managed to avoid swearing as I jumped at the sight of little eyes peeking out at me from between the tabletop and the bench pushed underneath.
“Oh you scared me,” I said, trying to calm down my heart.
“Who are you?” a little voice demanded.
“I’m B— uh, Sara.” I stumbled a bit. “Is Zeke your dad?”
“Yeah. Why are you back here? Dad don’t let people in the kitchen.”
“Oh,” I said, surprised, “he said I could come back here to mix up an oil infusion.”
The eyes disappeared and then a little boy with messy dark curls scooted out from under the table. “A magic potion?” he asked, eyes wide.
I slipped into that familiar healer role as I studied him. He looked to be around six or seven, but the terrible thinness of his body made him look frail. I could see his blue veins through his pale skin and dark circles framed his sunken eyes.
“It’s kind of like a magic potion,” I said, crouching to his eye level. “What’s your name?”
"Roe," he answered. "Can I help? I'm ten so I'm good at helpin'."
I did a double take at his age but forced myself to smile. "Sure."
Roe pulled the bench out so he could climb up on it to see the table. I showed him how to rub the dried herbs in my hands. Roe began to enthusiastically copy me, asking millions of questions that I answered patiently. I didn’t need my powers to know he was ill. I kept seeing a single word from the medical textbooks in my head. Terminal.
I was helping Roe pour the oil over the top of the herbs when the door opened, and Zeke and Trey came in.
“We’re makin’ a magic potion!” Roe chirped to his dad, who looked startled to see him.
“Roe, you’re supposed to be in bed,” the large man scolded. “You’re gonna give yourself another bad spell.”
Trey smiled at us, but I could see him noting the boy’s condition too.
“A bad spell?” I repeated.
Sorrow flashed across Zeke’s face as he came and picked Roe up. The boy wrapped his arms around his dad’s neck, burying his face in his shoulder. “He’s been sick since before he could walk. We’ve seen many different healers, but no one can give us any real answers. Sometimes he has bad spells where he is so sick and weak that he can’t even get out of bed.”
I glanced at Trey. I almost expected to see him shaking his head, warning me not to do anything to blow our cover. Instead, I found him already looking at me, his eyes soft.
“Your choice,” he mouthed, and my heart swelled again.
I knew the risk in healing Roe, and a few months ago I might have kept my head down and continued on my way. Maybe Trey’s faith in people had rubbed off on me, but I wanted to believe if I healed his son, Zeke would keep my secret. And even if he didn’t, I couldn’t walk away without trying.
“I’m a healer,” I told Zeke. “Could I try examinin’ him?”
Zeke gave me a long look, and I held his gaze, waiting for his decision. Finally, he turned to the boy. "Roe, is it ok with you if Sara examines you?"
Roe grimaced. “There gonna be needles?”
“No,” I said, smiling. “No needles.”
“Oh! Ok then.” The boy smiled back at me.
"Can I see your hands?" I asked, and the boy put his hands in mine with a trust that made my throat ache. "Now I'll need you to be just a little bit patient, ok?"
When he nodded, I sent thin tendrils of my healing power flowing down my arms and into him. He jolted a bit as they reached him, his eyes widening.
“What—” I heard Zeke demand, but Trey murmured something and he quieted.
I kept my eyes on Roe's face, concentrating on what I could feel through my powers. The illness seemed to be everywhere, in his blood and bones and flesh. I'd never healed anything like it, but as usual, my powers knew what to do. They spread through his body as though they needed to immerse him, requiring me to funnel more and more power into him. When his pale skin began to glow faintly, I watched his face for any signs of distress. I didn't think it would hurt him, but I'd never done anything like this before, and I couldn't help but remember what Sam's body had looked like after funneling a large amount of my power. So far, he didn't seem to be experiencing any pain. His wide eyes stared into mine. Zeke hovered at my side, and I could hear Trey continuing to reassure him.
It felt strange to heal something so severe after healing people with the fever. Especially because as much as this taxed my power, it didn’t feel alien. I could tell parts of his body weren’t quite right, as though they’d mutated, but those mutations were still made from his body. As my power flooded through him, each individual mutated cell seemed to need healing. It drained me more than I’d anticipated, but I kept going.
As I finally neared the end, the color and health began to return to his face, transforming him from looking pallid and fragile to a healthy child. He'd probably always be small for his age, and he'd have to pack on some fat and muscle, but I did not doubt he would. Zeke let out a choked sound, and I spared a glance up at him to see tears flowing down the giant man's face.
“Dad?” Roe asked, looking worried.
"It's workin', son." Zeke beamed through his tears. "I think it's workin'."
As I healed the very last mutations, I knew without a doubt this disease would have killed him before summer's end. Gratitude flooded me that we'd come here, and that Zeke let me use the kitchen. When I finished and released him, I tucked my hands into my pockets to hide their trembling.
For a while, no one spoke. Zeke gently touched Roe's face where his cheeks glowed a rosy pink, studying him as though afraid what he saw wasn't real.
"Nothin' hurts anymore," Roe whispered, his expression a mix of shock and wonder. "Dad, am I better?"
Zeke folded his son in his arms, silent sobs shaking his shoulders. Trey moved next to me, slipping an arm around my ribs and pressing a kiss to my head.
“How is this possible?” Zeke managed to ask.
“Sara has an incredible gift,” Trey explained. “But we are gonna have to ask you to keep this quiet.”
“You’re on the run,” Zeke said. It wasn’t a question, but both Trey and I nodded. “What do I owe you—”
I cut him off. “You don’t owe us anything. You showed us so much kindness, an’ I’m just glad there was somethin’ I could do to repay it.”
Zeke stayed quiet for a moment before he nodded, swiping at his wet face. “At least let me send you with some more provisions.”
When we relented, he began to move around the kitchen, gathering food and wrapping it for us to take.
“How did you do that?” Roe asked, tugging on my jacket to get my attention.
I hesitated, unsure how much I should tell a child who might accidentally give away my secret. “You were right,” I said finally. “I do make magic, just not potions.”
His eyes widened. “You fixed me with magic?”
“Yes, but you gotta keep it a secret, ok?”
He nodded, and I smiled.
“You feel better?”
“Yeah!” he said. “I feel great!”
Zeke sniffled from where he stuffed several apples into a bag. “Your secret is safe with us, right, buddy?”
“Right!” Roe agreed.
Zeke pressed the bag of food into Trey’s hands and then startled me by enveloping me in a giant hug. “He’s the last piece of Wren I have, and I’ll never be able to thank you enough for what you did,” he whispered.
"It's alright," I whispered back, my throat tight with emotion. "I'm glad I could help."
Zeke pulled away and shook Trey’s hand. We exited into the frigid air, heading toward where a white horse with black spots stood saddled and ready, our meager possessions already strapped on. I didn’t mind that we only had one horse. Trey and I had been riding together on one horse for so long that riding alone would feel, well, lonely.
As we began to ride away, I twisted back. I could just make out Zeke and Roe standing in the window watching. I raised my hand and waved, a soft happiness rising in my chest when they both waved back.
“You’re incredible,” Trey murmured into my hair.
My cheeks warmed. “Thank you for lettin’ me make the decision.”
“Bones, you can always make your own decisions about healing people.” Trey’s voice was firm. “It’s not my power, and I have no right to try and dictate what you do with it.”
A soft and strong emotion swept through me and brought tears to my eyes. I laced my gloved fingers through his resting on my thigh. “This is all I want to do. I just want to heal people like Roe.”
“We’ll find a way for you to do that then.”
“Do you think he’ll keep our secret?”
I expected him to answer right away, and when he didn’t, I twisted to glance up at him.
He sighed. "I think he will unless someone threatens Roe."
A chill walked down my spine. I knew he was right, but I couldn’t judge Zeke. I already knew I’d sell out the whole rebellion to save Trey. It made me feel unsettled that I hadn’t thought of that possibility because normally I would. Wolf’s voice rose from the depths of my mind, growling warnings.
“We can’t control what other people do,” Trey said, squeezing my hand, “just our own actions.”
I grimaced. I knew he meant it to be comforting, but it made me feel sick to my stomach.
“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Trey asked after a few minutes of silence.
“Doesn’t that scare you?” I asked.
“That I can’t control what other people do?”
I nodded.
“I find it more liberating than anythin’. I don’t have to be responsible for other people’s actions, just mine.” He paused. “Does it scare you?”
“Yeah.”
His arms tightened around me. “I’d guess that might be ’cause you’re always tryin’ to control what people are gonna do.”
“I am not.”
“Bones.” He sounded exasperated. “You pushed everybody away, and when you finally let me in a little bit, you ran straight to Zip just to get rid of me. That’s control.”
“No.” My voice grew sharper. “That was survival.”
“Survival for who?”
“Me. You. Everybody.”
“You don’t get to make those decisions for other people, though, darlin’.”
“Trey, people who get close to me end up dead,” I snapped.
“So it’s better to just refuse to let anyone ever get close to you again?”
Fear turned my stomach. “Yes.”
“So what’s the point then?” he asked. “What are you surviving for?”
I couldn’t answer him. I didn’t want to admit that I asked myself that same question constantly, or tell him I’d spent the last twelve years only thinking about one day at a time, on trying to survive from dawn to dusk, and I had no idea how to see further than that. I didn’t want to tell him I survived because Wolf’s voice in my head demanded I keep going or that I still clung to a tiny delusional shred of hope that maybe I could atone for Dune’s death.
So instead I shot back at him, “What are you surviving for?”
“Well,” he said, “I want to make my mom proud. I want to help make this world a better place. And maybe you don’t know this, but there’s this beautiful healer that I’ve kinda fallen in love with, and I want to start a life with her.”
I tried to stay mad, but my eyes prickled.
He leaned forward, his cold nose pressing against my ear. “That’s you.”
I let my head thud back against his chest, huffing out a heavy breath. “Even if that life is always on the run?” I asked, my voice low.
“Yes,” he said without hesitation.
“Even if you never get to go back to the Vault?”
He hesitated for a split second. “Yes.”
“Trey,” I said, my stomach sinking at that tiny hesitation, “you deserve better—”
“No,” he interrupted with conviction, “Bones, you don’t get to decide what’s best for me. There’s that control again. I’ve made my decisions. I’m where I want to be.”
My eyes burned and I blinked back tears. I wasn't trying to control him. I just wanted him to be safe. I swallowed hard and tried to push Rally's screams from my head. I hadn't loved Rally in a romantic way, but I'd loved him as a friend, and it broke me to see him tortured to death. I had no idea how long a body could go before it took its last breath, how much pain a person would be forced to endure in the meantime.
“You did this to him, Angel.” Juck had hissed in my ear. “So don’t you dare close your eyes.”
We rode in silence for a long time. When we stopped for a break, the space between us felt stiff. I hated it. Trey still gave me a smile when I glanced at him, but it didn’t reach his eyes. I went to relieve my bladder, and on my way back, I noticed he was staring into space with a frown.
Gods, I didn’t want to spend this time fighting with him. I crouched and grabbed a handful of wet snow, packing it into a ball shape. When I chucked it at him, I expected to miss. Instead, my snowball smacked into the side of his head. I covered my mouth with my gloved hands, trying not to laugh. He leapt to his feet, his eyes narrowing at me as he wiped snow from his face.
“You did not—” he growled, but his eyes sparkled, “—just throw a snowball at my head.”
“I would never.”
“Cause I’ll have you know—” He crouched, scooping up a handful of snow, “—I always win snowball fights.”
I couldn’t resist the grin on my face any longer. “Those are some big words.”
“You don’t believe me?” He raised an eyebrow as he packed the snow into a tight ball.
I scooped up another handful of snow, monitoring him as I grinned. “I’m just sayin’ that’s a lot of talk with little to back it up.”
"I can't believe—" he started, but then he charged mid-sentence.
I shrieked and chucked my snowball at him, missing by a mile, and turned and ran. His snowball hit me in the back of the head and a second later he tackled me into the snow. I got a faceful of cold wet snow, and when he flipped me over, he laughed at the snow coating my face.
“You believe me now?” he asked, full of smug confidence that he’d won, but he didn’t know my brother taught me to fight dirty.
I smashed two handfuls of snow into his face.
He sputtered, and I dissolved into laughter. Most of the snow dripped off his face right away, but some stayed stuck to his eyebrows and the stubble on his face, making him look like an old man. He glared down at me for a moment as I laughed at him, but then his lips crushed into mine, silencing me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back.
The earlier tension between us melted away as swiftly as the snow.