Chapter Seventeen

 

It was a glorious day as Johnathan and Alice crossed the road and made their way to the beach they had visited upon Johnathan’s arrival in St. Mawes. It had been a fortnight since he had begun instructing Alice, and Johnathan found he surprisingly enjoyed her company more and more each day. They had made extraordinary progress on readying the shop, and since Alice had apologized for her behavior at the draper’s, he now found her change in demeanor much more tolerable. He was also pleased with her aptitude for learning.

Once they reached the beach, Alice looked at the sandy ground skeptically.

“May I?” Johnathan asked as he held out his elbow.

She nodded and looped her arm through his, and Johnathan looked down and realized how well the two fit together. He led her to the center of the beach, the waves still some distance away. Closing his eyes, he reveled in the sound of the waves rushing the beach.

“When I was a child,” Alice said as she stared out over the ocean, “we visited here several times. I often wondered, silly as it may sound, what it would be like to sail those waters. Would I come to a land with people I have never before encountered? But then the thought would frighten me.”

Johnathan tilted his head at her. “I’m afraid I do not understand,” he said. “Why would it frighten you?”

“Because they might speak a different language than I, and I would not know if they were greeting me with happiness or anger.” She let out a laugh.

Johnathan found himself laughing, as well, and he wondered if his cheeks were going as rosy as hers. Her laugh, much like the woman, was beautiful and he felt a small tug at his heart upon hearing it. It was a strange feeling, but the more time he spent with her, the more he welcomed it. “I have never heard anything so amusing before,” he said, but then he worried he would offend her with his words.

However, rather than be offended, she continued to laugh even harder. Wiping at her eye, she gave a nod. “It is how my imagination works at times. Thomas used to…” She stopped suddenly and bit at her lip. “I apologize. Forgive me.”

He nodded but his curiosity was now piqued. He had heard her speak of this man twice before.

“Who is Thomas?” he asked.

She was quiet for a moment, and a new feeling moved through him. Jealousy? Yet that made no sense. Why would he be jealous if she cared for another man? The fact was, this Thomas had not married her, and Johnathan felt no sympathy for the man. Furthermore, Johnathan did not love Alice, so why should he feel thus?

“I do not know where to begin,” Alice said. Her eyes darted about and he could see the look of worry in them and he understood why.

He placed a hand over hers. He was intrigued instantly by her soft, smooth skin. “There is nothing to fear,” he assured her. “I will not be upset regardless of what you share with me.”

Alice looked back at him, her green eyes searching his face. Then she gave a slight nod. “When I was younger, Thomas and I spoke of one day being married.” She glanced around the beach, leaned forward and lowered her voice, as if to keep others from hearing. “I will tell you something that I have not said to anyone, even my mother.” Intrigued, Johnathan nodded his head and remained silent. “He was the stable hand at our estate. We met when we were both just fifteen.”

“I see. Your parents never knew or suspected?”

Alice looked back over the ocean. “No. I had kept it well hidden, awaiting the day when we were going to be wed. Of course, that day never came, but that is fine; I have accepted that is was not meant to be.”

Johnathan followed her gaze and watched as a seagull swooped down into a large wave. A moment later, it reappeared with a fish in its beak. He found himself watching the bird with amusement as his thoughts began acting quite strangely. It was as if he imagined himself as the bird swooping down and catching Alice before this Thomas did.

She heaved a heavy sigh. “It no longer matters,” she said. “I am marrying you now.”

He nodded as he allowed her words play over in his mind. Then a thought struck him, and he turned his attention back to her. He felt another tug at his heart as he watched a single tear roll down her cheek. Without thinking, he raised a hand and brushed it away.

“Why did you feel safe enough to confide in me when you would not even tell your own mother?”

She turned toward him and gazed at him with great intensity. “Because you will be my husband,” she replied as if he should already know the answer. “I think it best if we do not keep secrets from each other, do you not agree?”

He pondered her words, seeing the wisdom in them. “You have made me look at our arrangement in a different light,” he said, shocked by his own words, but quite happy they had somehow become closer. “Very well then, I will keep no secret from you. Do you wish to ask me anything?”

She appeared to think for several moments and then gave a single nod. “May I ask who Jane is?”

He let out a frustrated sigh, though he was not solely angry with her. He had put himself in this position, and after her confession about the man she was to marry at one point, a man who clearly continued to hold her heart, he knew it only right to tell her the truth. Yet, was he required to? Was he not the type of man who manipulated women into getting what he wanted?

However, as he looked into her green eyes, he found himself speaking before he could stop himself. “Jane was the daughter of a Baron I courted some years back, and much like yourself and the farmhand, we to planned to wed one day.” As if coming to his senses, he reined back on his words. Was the woman before him some sort of witch who could make him say words he did not wish to say? “I will not say much more; however, like you, I found myself alone.” A strange feeling came over him as those last words tumbled from his lips, a feeling of relief for finally having the ability to relinquish even the smallest crumble of hurt he had held inside for so long. And for the first time in a very long time, his back did not feel as tense and it seemed like new air was filling his lungs.

“Thank you for sharing your secret,” she said softly. “I will never tell another soul.” Her eyes told him that she spoke the truth, that she would keep this promise until her dying breath if necessary. And as he looked down at the beautiful woman, he saw not a severe spinster who was clumsy and lacking in grace. Instead, he saw a beautiful woman who carried a heavy burden of hurt. A woman who made herself appear undesirable to men as a means to cover that hurt. He also saw a reflection of himself; however, his hurt was acted out in how he used women for his own pleasure.

They both turned back to stare at the sun just setting over the horizon, a globe of fire reflecting on the surface of the ocean. Both remained quiet as they watched the waves continue to break over the sand, inching toward them, and then ebbed back into the waters behind them, only to be replaced with another.

Johnathan glanced down and noticed that his hand still covered hers. Rather than remove it, as would be appropriate, he left it so.

***

Alice let out a small sigh, feeling relieved she had shared about Thomas and was happy that Johnathan had not scolded her. In fact, he had shocked her when he said as much about whoever this Jane was. In that moment, there was no denying, she felt a bond unite them. She had noted his hand on hers and smiled inwardly. His grip was strong and protective but at the same time gentle. It was the same gentleness she had seen in his eyes when he offered his arm to her. And when he spoke of Jane.

Though Alice was far from the jealous type, she was curious about who this woman was. The fact that the woman was the daughter of a Baron told Alice that she was a woman of wealth. She was quite curious as to how the two had parted ways, but enough had been said. Perhaps it was for the best that she not know, for oftentimes, knowing too much could have the opposite effect. As she thought on what she had not said about Thomas, it only convinced her further that, yes, many things were best left unspoken.

Though she had not shared everything, having the opportunity to tell Johnathan something of Thomas had been a relief, just as much as knowing that Jane was no longer a threat. Then she wondered, a threat to whom? She did not love Johnathan, and their marriage was one that would be of a mutual benefit.

The tinkling laughter of a small child made her turn, and the young boy giggled even more as his father chased him down the beach.

“They are so lovely, are they not?” Alice said as she watched the pair chasing each other and falling to the ground in a fit of laughter.

“That they are,” Johnathan replied. “They seem to have not a care in the world.”

The father caught up the little boy and swung him around before returning to a woman Alice presumed was the boy’s mother.

“Have you many friends in Cornwall?” Alice asked.

Johnathan removed his hand from hers and Alice immediately missed the feeling of protection it provided. He walked a short distance, picked up a stone and threw it into the water. “I have a few acquaintances, but mostly business associates. I am not as apt as making friends as you seem to be.”

She let out a laugh. “Then I will teach you.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Is that so?” he asked. “And how do you propose to do that?”

“Simple,” she replied firmly. “You will practice right now. Are you ready for a challenge?”

Johnathan laughed as he reached up and moved a wave of hair from his brow. “Very well. I am prepared for instruction.”

Alice pointed at the ocean. “See those waves?” she asked. He nodded. “Those waves are like life, bringing in friends, which are the fish within them.”

“I see,” he said with a chuckle. “That is quite insightful.”

“But of course it is,” she said proudly. “I came up with it.”

This brought on another fit of laughter, but she regained her composure and continued with her instruction. “The good friends in life are there, just as the fish.” A seagull swooped down and rose again. “You must be willing to search for them and claim them before someone else does. So, be like that seagull.”

“So, am I the bird that found the friend?” he asked. The lines around his eyes that had been angry and sad were now replaced with happiness, and the sight of his smile was breathtaking. His face beamed brighter than the sun’s rays that were cast upon it.

“Yes, you are,” she replied with a smile. “And I must say, you found a good friend, would you agree?”

“I would,” he said. Both stared at each other for a moment and then Johnathan cleared his throat. “Tomorrow, it would be an honor to send a carriage to collect you and bring you to Cliff Heights House. Perhaps you would like to see it before it becomes one of your homes.”

Only a few weeks ago, Alice would have scoffed at such an offer as much as the man. However, his request felt somehow different, and the thought of seeing his home excited her.

“Yes, I would enjoy that,” she replied.

As they made their way back to the docks, her arm in his, she found a comfort in being with him. Johnathan had been right about the waves; they were comforting to be around, much like the gentleman walking beside her.