The Baghdad Golfer

by Warrant Officer Class Two, Gordon Traill, 5th/7th Battalion, the Royal Australian Regiment, Iraq

In 2004 I was on operational deployment to Iraq as part of security detachment 4 (SECDET 4). SECDET was responsible for ensuring the Australian ambassador and his staff could move around Baghdad in the safest possible manner.

During that time, I was the warrant officer caterer, working in a makeshift windowless kitchen with three toilet extractor fans that tried to suck out as much heat as possible. No occupational health and safety regulations here! There were numerous trying conditions to deal with: the temperature ranged from 40—55 degrees celcius during the day; when the sand storms blew in visibility would be reduced to nil; loss of power was a constant struggle; having to wear full body armour; and a lack of sleep at night due to the heat and lack of wind or cooling breeze. In addition, mortars, rocket propelled grenades, improvised explosive devices (car bombs), small arms fire were dangers we faced every single day.

Corporal Steve Riley was to work alongside me for this deployment. In the short time that I knew Steve, I had seen many outstanding qualities in him. He was an excellent soldier and an outstanding cook who had previously been deployed to East Timor. His wicked sense of humour was well known around the battalion, and I was willing to trust this young junior non-commissioned officer with my life. Steve could break the tension with his quick wit or a joke, which is quite remarkable when you are living in the most dangerous city in the world – Baghdad.

There was always an air of excitement when the mail was delivered. One day I went to collect the mail and there was a long thin package for Steve. I was curious as to what was inside and it didn’t take long for Steve to pull out his trusty driver and golf balls that had been sent over from Australia. Steve had a great love of golf; he often spoke of games he had played back home and the scores he got. He believed when he returned to Australia his form would be very rusty. He was adamant that now he had his driver he would practice. He picked up the driver and started practicing his golf swing. It was a funny sight to see in the middle of that war-torn country: Steve practicing a few shots with his body armour, webbing and helmet. He had slung his rifle across his back so it did not get in the way.

That night after officer commanding’s orders, Steve started planning his golf practice range. He used one of the non-liveable floors of the building known as “The Flats”. The Flats was a shell of a building, like the many others that had suffered the hardships of war. It had seven floors and there were no windows, only empty spaces where windows were supposed to be. Bomb-blast walls were positioned in front of them. In one of the safer parts of the 6th floor he rigged up a wooden structure with shade cloth as the catching net to hit the balls into. He was quite pleased with his efforts. In his spare time he would head to the “Baghdad driving range” to practice his golf swing.

One day Steve and Mal were up on the rooftop. Steve was practicing his golf swing while Mal filmed him launching the balls into the shade cloth. Steve mistimed one of his swings and the golf ball missed the net, ricocheted off the concrete wall at a great rate of knots and rebound straight back at him. Steve did not have any body armour covering his groin and he went down for the count. Mal’s camera started shaking uncontrollably as he wept with laughter. All the while Steve was rolling around on the ground, hands firmly planted between his legs moaning loudly. We watched Mal’s short film later and it was the funniest sight I had seen in Baghdad. From that day on, Steve was known as the “Baghdad golfer”.