10 sorting out your thoughts,

emotions, and behaviors

The worksheet on the next page can help you sort out your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. It’s a great idea to make some copies of it and fill one in whenever you’re experiencing intense emotions or feeling confused about a situation; if necessary, you can come back to the worksheet to complete it after the situation. The sample entries here are based on Jacob’s story from chapter 1.

Thoughts and Feelings Are Not Facts

Just because you have a thought or an emotion doesn’t mean it’s true. You might think, “I’ll never have a best friend,” but that’s just a thought, not the truth. You might feel unloved, but that doesn’t mean you are unloved—it’s just how you feel. Our thoughts and feelings often seem true to us, so it’s important to remember that they’re just thoughts and feelings, not facts. This mindfulness exercise can help you practice noticing what’s a thought, what’s a feeling, and what’s a behavior, and that will also help you detach from your thoughts and feelings—in other words, it will help you just observe your thoughts and feelings and remember that they aren’t facts.