12 reasoning, emotional, or wise self?

For each of the following stories, see if you can determine which way of thinking is being depicted—reasoning self, emotional self, or wise self—and circle the one that is most appropriate. The answers will be provided on page 148.

1. Tanya was at a party when a friend passed her a bottle of beer. She thought, “Everyone else is drinking. Will they accept me if I don’t?” Then she remembered that she had an important exam on Monday; she realized she wouldn’t study well the next day if she got drunk that night, so she said, “No thanks.”

   Reasoning Self Emotional Self Wise Self

2. Ty was really nervous about asking Jessica to the prom, but he got up his courage and asked her anyway. When she turned him down, he was devastated at first, but then he thought to himself, “Whatever—it’s better this way because I can really only afford to buy one ticket.”

   Reasoning Self Emotional Self Wise Self

3. Makenna was so angry at her parents because they wouldn’t let her go camping with her friends this weekend. She asked them again near the end of the week, but they weren’t budging on their decision. She was so disappointed and frustrated that she started to yell at her parents and told them she hated them.

   Reasoning Self Emotional Self Wise Self

4. Riley often worried about fitting in with the other kids at school, which made it hard for him to socialize. One day he decided enough was enough—he was just going to start doing it anyway. He knew he always had a good time when he did spend time with friends, so he approached a group of people at school and joined in the conversation, even though he felt anxious.

   Reasoning Self Emotional Self Wise Self

5. Catrina was taking an English exam. Even though she felt it was going fairly well, she decided to throw in some extra facts, like Shakespeare’s date and place of birth, which she figured would get her some additional points.

   Reasoning Self Emotional Self Wise Self

6. Jody was playing around on his skateboard at school when he noticed a bunch of kids watching him. He wanted to impress them, so he decided to try a really hard trick on the stairs to make himself look good, even though he wasn’t sure he’d be able to land it.

   Reasoning Self Emotional Self Wise Self

Now that you have a better understanding of these three different ways of thinking about things, it’s important to start applying this skill in your own life. The first step is to assess your patterns in the present.