2 how unmindful thoughts can trigger painful emotions
Read the following stories. Keeping in mind that living in the past or future is likely to trigger more painful emotions, see if you can identify the person in each story as being mindful (that is, focused on the present moment with acceptance) or unmindful (that is, not focused on the present and possibly judging the situation). Circle whichever word seems to be most accurate; you’ll find the answers on page 148.
- Stacey was talking to her friend about a problem she was having with her parents. When she had finished telling the story, which she was quite angry over, her friend told her she thought Stacey was being silly and should just get over it, that lots of other people had bigger problems than Stacey did. Stacey was stunned, and she thought, “I can’t believe she just said that. I’m feeling really hurt and angry right now. I’m having an urge to say something really hurtful back to her.”
Mindful Unmindful
- Kevin was sitting in his room, feeling really angry and sad. He was thinking about what had happened earlier that day—he had overheard his friend Toby talking, and he was pretty sure that Toby was talking about him. Kevin thought, “I can’t believe that Toby said those mean things about me. This always ends up happening to me; people who used to be my friends turn on me. I’ll never have friends I can trust.”
Mindful Unmindful
- Jessica was discussing curfew with her parents and was getting really upset because they wouldn’t budge on her regular 10:00 time, even though she was going to a school dance that would be chaperoned. She tuned out her parents and thought, “Blah blah blah … They never trust me. They always insist on treating me like a child.”
Mindful Unmindful
- Mark was sitting in class and was getting quite frustrated because two girls behind him kept whispering. He thought, “I’m having a really hard time focusing right now because people are talking, and I’m starting to feel frustrated.”
Mindful Unmindful
- Sarah was at a party with a bunch of friends from school. All her friends were talking to each other and having a good time, but Sarah found herself alone in the living room, watching television. She thought, “I always feel so anxious when I’m at parties, but everyone else looks comfortable. What’s wrong with me? I’ll never fit in.”
Mindful Unmindful
- Tyler had been working on the same skateboard trick for quite a while and still hadn’t gotten it down. He was getting closer but had just fallen off his board for what seemed like the millionth time. He thought, “I’ve been working on this trick for quite a while. Sometimes it gets frustrating, but I can see I’m getting there.”
Mindful Unmindful