So I finally learned the real reason Jason followed me. Something had happened to Mark and Denny, and their deaths were blamed on me. The whole twin brother story was merely a lie to lure me into lowering my defenses.
As was his saying I was his mate. A sorrowful chill spread through my body. My bear could cry that it was a mistake, we were mates, but I knew better. My mate would have known I wasn’t a killer.
Another male who would use me if he could. I’d been a fool to expect anything else. Shifters were no better than humans.
The anger flooded into me, making me strong. His arms were tight around me now, but he would have to release me at some point. And then my bear and I would flee.
His cock against me was still hard, but I no longer cared. I wouldn’t fuck him now even if he begged me.
“Tell me what happened to Denny.” The cool voice speaking didn’t sound like me.
Jason sat up, moving me with him as easily as though I were a child’s stuffed animal. Keeping a firm grip on my wrist, he pushed me off his lap. The rejection stung, no matter that I wanted nothing to do with him.
“He was found on a hiking trail just out of sight of the parking lot.” Jason stared at my face, clearly looking for my acknowledgment of guilt. “His torso had been ripped open by bear claws. He died from blood loss.”
A pang of sorrow penetrated my numbness. He hadn’t deserved to die like that. “When?”
“The day you left town.”
I drew a breath. I’m sorry, Denny, if I was in any way to blame.
“What about Mark?” I asked coldly.
“Same thing. Attacked by a bear. He was found near the dumpster in back of the restaurant—the night you took off.”
“I left him inside the kitchen. He slipped and hit his head on the edge of the counter.” My eyes widened, my mask of coolness slipping. “I propped the door open…”
I turned my face away, trying to hide my emotions from Jason. I’d left Mark exposed to whatever killed him. His death was my fault.
“Sarah…” Jason’s voice was soft and urgent.
Steeling myself, I met his eyes. “Are you a cop?” The question came out hard and cold.
He shook his head. “A private investigator. Your brother—”
“Stop it!” I interrupted. “You can stop with that story now. That and the mating one.” I didn’t mean to say that last part, it just slipped out.
That caught him on the raw. “I haven’t told you any stories,” he said stiffly. “Only the truth.”
I wished I could believe him. I did feel a pull toward the south, where he said my twin was. But I felt an even stronger pull to him, and he just wanted to lock me up. Or worse.
“What did you plan to do to me after you found me?” I challenged.
He wouldn’t meet my eyes. “Hear your side of things.” He glanced at me then, a quick look before his eyes slid away.
Righteous anger filled me. It pissed me off that he’d already judged me. I was the shifter he knew about, so he was going to blame me for killing Mark and Denny. Mark I didn’t care about, but Denny had been sweet. I would never have hurt him. Jason had no reason to accuse me.
Rage at being accused, pain at being accused by my supposed mate, the simmering frustration of years of running—they all combined to make me snap.
With my free hand I shoved him hard. It didn’t matter that his hand tightened on my wrist. I wasn’t trying to escape. Instead I threw myself at him, landing with enough force that I knocked him flat on the ground. Straddling him, I lowered my head until our faces were just inches apart.
He stared back at me, his face bleak.
“Hear my side of things,” I repeated bitterly. “If you had really wanted that, you would have been honest with me. Especially after—” My voice broke. How could he kiss me like that when all the time he intended to cage me?
I whipped up my anger. “Why did you help me out of the pit? You think I’m a killer. You should have left me there. I wish you had. All these years I’ve managed to take care of myself without anyone’s help. Except my bear’s. We would have gotten out of there somehow, and you could have slunk away thinking you’d done your duty.” I threw all of my contempt in my voice. “Some private investigator. You wouldn’t have caught me if it hadn’t been for that trap.”
His mouth tightened at that. “I was hoping there’d be extenuating circumstances. That you weren’t really a killer at heart.”
“Extenuating circumstances.” I mocked him savagely. “You’re so certain it was me, you didn’t even look for other suspects, did you? The most repulsive shifter in the world could have been right under your nose, and you wouldn’t have noticed him. Instead you had to come after me.”
My anger evaporated. All I could feel now was grief. I’d hoped for so much, and it was gone. No twin brother, just a ruse. No mate, a captor. No freedom—his fingers circled my wrist tight as any handcuff.
The disappointment was so sharp, the difference between what I’d started to dare believe and the reality so crushing, that the tears came to my eyes. I turned my head. I wouldn’t show him how much he hurt me.
Hot tears slid down my cheeks and dripped onto his chest. He made a soft noise halfway between a grunt and a sigh.
“Sarah…” His voice was low and tentative.
My eyes, swimming in tears, were drawn to his, my face turned involuntarily. “What?” I tried to say in derision, but it came out as a undecipherable moan.
“Did you kill either of those men, Denny Smith or Mark Gitlin?”
A spark of my former anger returned. “No, I did not,” I said emphatically. “And I never intended to kill the man in Canada either. He tried—” I shuddered. “My bear didn’t know how strong she was.”
With those words the dam broke. I’d never spoken of that death to anyone. Somehow mentioning it unblocked the burden I’d been carrying around all these years. The tears flowed in an unstoppable stream.
Releasing my wrist, he pulled me down against him. I didn’t resist when he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me close. Sinking into his embrace, I sobbed out all the pain I’d felt at being lost and alone except for my bear.
All the time I was crying, he held me without speaking. At last the tears ended, and I lay limp against him, my face buried against his damp chest.
He stirred. “Sarah,” he said through my tangled hair, “that man in Vancouver didn’t die.”
I made a movement in denial.
“A hiker found him in time. He was badly injured, but he recovered.”
“Not dead?” I whispered after a moment, slow to react. I could barely take it in. “Then I’m not a killer.” My relief was muted, my emotions drained after the violent tears.
“Oh my Sarah.” His voice was rough with some emotion I was too numb to recognize. His warm hands moved restlessly on my back, his touch leaving a trail of heat. “Will you forgive me?”
I couldn’t answer him. It required too much thought.
His hands on me moved more urgently. “Please.”
He was probably referring to forgiveness. My body, starting to awaken, was thinking something completely different. I was tinglingly aware of my naked skin next to his, of his strong masculine scent. From one breath to the next his scent changed as he took in my awareness.
His hands dropped from me. “You can leave…”
If you want. Even though he didn’t say the words, they rang through my mind.
What did I want? My bear was in no doubt. Our mate, she purred.
But he’d doubted me and deceived me. I stretched, turning my face to look into his eyes. My skin slid like silk along his warm muscles. He was flexed but at ease, even his cock. My body responded to him. A flutter of desire built in my core.
Pretending I felt nothing, I met his gaze. Funny, I hadn’t realized before how much he’d kept from me. His eyes and face now were stripped, vulnerable. I could hurt him, if I wanted. I could strike back and let him feel all the pain that had filled me. I could leave him. I could fuck him and then leave him. He gave me the freedom to make the choice.
An erotic thrill ran through my body, centered in the heat of my core and radiating to every point outward, fingers, toes, knees and shoulders, even my earlobes.
No cage.
I was very aware that I straddled him. My knees rested outside his warm thighs. My mound nestled in the heat of his belly. If I moved the slightest bit—like so—the tip of his cock was right there at my wet entrance.
His mouth opened slightly. His eyes darkened. He waited for whatever I might do.
I didn’t know what I should do. Or I did, but my body resisted. I should get up and leave. How could I ever forget he’d lied to me? By omission, at the very least.
My body operated without thought, against my best judgment. Still looking into his eyes, I wiggled a little, seating his cock more firmly against my hot, damp opening. When he grunted, a shiver ran through my body. More than anything else in the world, I wanted to feel his entire cock inside me. I wanted that grunt to turn into a full-throated roar.
My bear was panting inside me, Yes yes yes.
Later, I could leave later.
I took his head inside me. Oh fuck yes. So big, so hard, and all mine.
His eyes were showing the strain now, his muscles tense between my legs as he forced himself not to move. When I slid farther down on him, he made a choked noise.
I put my mouth on his to silence him. He responded violently, his mouth doing everything he denied to his cock. Winding my arms around his neck, I held on for his kisses.
His cock, still only partly inside me, throbbed with heat. I rocked on his hard shaft. Farther he entered. As I took in more cock, it started to hurt even though I was fully wet and slippery. He was huge, and no one had ever been there before.
The pain increased to the point where I gasped.
He jerked his mouth free. “Sarah! What’s wrong?” he demanded in a stricken voice.
“My first time,” I whispered, abashed. When he tried to pull out I clamped my legs around his thighs. “Don’t stop,” I begged.
“Are you sure?” he asked raggedly.
I was absolutely certain. I’d never wanted anything more than I wanted him to enter me completely. I wanted to feel every inch of his hard cock inside me. My bear was clamoring her agreement.
“Yes,” I breathed.
“Sarah, my Sarah.” His voice stroked along all my nerves.
I melted against him, ceding control.
His arms wrapped around me. He hugged me tight against him as though he could make us merge into one being. It felt wonderful to be secure in his arms, my face buried in his neck.
His hands slid down my back to my butt cheeks. He gripped me like they were his. And they were, for this moment at least. Totally his, to do with as he pleased.
With his strong fingers he kneaded my ass. I melted a little more, luxuriating in his petting. At the same time the fire inside me was burning hotter. His cock was partly inside me, just resting there hard and fat.
I squeezed his cock, my pussy aching with need. “I can’t wait.”
He gave a smothered laugh. And he thrust.
There was a sharp pain, and then burning. The slight discomfort was nothing. The feeling of immenseness inside me was everything. He was inside me, but it felt like I was swallowed inside him.
He lay still, letting me absorb him. When my heartbeat steadied, he began to move gently inside me. His hips rocked in a circular motion beneath me. His cock gyrated softly against my hot, swollen walls.
I moaned. The joining of our bodies felt so right, so good. He felt good, tender and loving. My mate.
My mate? I could almost dare to believe it.