We are born with areas on our bodies that are nearly inaccessible to ourselves. At times, we are not unlike large bovines looking for the nearest fence post for a good scratch. Search no more, bring the fence post to you. That hockey stick destined for the kindling pile can be brought back from the brink of carbonization.
You might be tempted to just grab the ol’ stick and start scratching, but the most satisfying store-bought backscratchers are those plastic monkey-paw numbers. Their popularity may lie in the subconscious connection to our simian ancestors’ grooming habits. The author Robin Dunbar associates language development with the observation that much of primates’ social bonding is maintained through communication of sounds. He surmises that gossip is an extension of the grooming ritual. Fussing over each other is a social activity, actually finding bugs in the fur is secondary.
I suggest that if you decide to make a back scratcher, you go beyond the simple hockey stick blade. A rake-like shape mimics the hand for a satisfying scratch, so get a bunch of blades and trim them with acute angles of equal profile to get a radiating pattern. Matching curves make this a better scratcher. Keeping the blades centered on the main stick, glue, clamp, and screw them together. The rough ends can catch and blemish finer fabrics, so sand where you can. But, if you are a t-shirt wearing TV-watching slob, don’t worry about it.