WE CONTINUED TO ENDURE THE tempest, but Hera no longer wept and loud thoughts no longer battered my mind. Fergus walked among us, cheerful and calm. ‘No,’ he would say, ‘we’re not out of danger yet. But we’re still afloat and that’s good.’
Shallym brought water for my family and said to me, ‘How does he do that? Tell us we still might die but leave us feeling we won’t?’
I pressed the button to adjust my hammock so that I was more sitting than lying. ‘I think he’s a pixie.’
She shook her head. ‘He doesn’t look like one.’ We’d seen movies in which pixies, fairies and goblins created magic and wonder. ‘But I think he might be a bit magic all the same.’
I whispered, ‘You could marry him – had you thought of that?’ Where had that thought come from? I blamed the seasickness.
Shallym laughed. ‘Grab the first Outside man I see? But what if there are a million hunks out there?’
I gaped at her. ‘You don’t want to marry one of our stratum?’ I’d thought she and Yin would marry, for sure.
She lifted her arms in a stretch ‘Maybe, maybe not.’ She leaned towards me. ‘But don’t you feel it, Juno? The excitement? Everything’s going to be different. We’re going to have more of everything to choose from.’
I lowered my hammock again and clutched my gut. ‘All I feel is sick. Tell this rotten ship to stay still, why can’t you?’
She laughed at me. ‘Still, like on the bottom of the ocean, for example?’
I managed a smile. I must have been feeling slightly better – I was no longer hoping we would sink and drown.
For three days the storm battered us, but at last I woke up in the early morning darkness to find we weren’t wallowing with the same intensity. I lay still for a moment, simply enjoying the fact my hammock was no longer swinging wildly and the sickness had gone. I sat up and my stomach didn’t protest, so I swung my feet over the edge and eased myself upright. My legs wobbled but it was bliss to feel well again. The trips to the bathroom over the past few days were not memories to treasure.
I was hungry. Where had Shallym put the snacks? I was sure she’d left a small bag somewhere. Not on the floor because nothing would stay put that wasn’t anchored. Then where? Ah! That’s right – she’d tied it to the hammock. Seconds later I had what felt like a hard, square biscuit in my hand. It was sweet and crunchy with nuts. I ate it slowly, my mind on what Shallym had said about things being different, about us having more choices Outside. It would be better for Vima – of that I was sure. She might find another man to love – a man she could marry. Or she might see Oban differently when she could compare him with Outside men. She might see that he was a man worthy of her love.
Dreams and wishes. Vima wouldn’t ever love Oban, not the way he wanted her to. In my heart I knew that. I wondered if he knew it too.
I climbed back in my hammock to wait for daylight. What of me? What would I do Outside? Who would I marry? A thought hit me – would I have to marry at all? Now that was an interesting notion to consider. Would the people of Taris still watch each stratum as we grew older, and would they still expect us to marry one of our own soon after we turned eighteen? Outside, in Aotearoa, would we live as we had done on Taris, as one community working together for the good of all? If we didn’t, then our lives would be very different. Which one did I want – difference or familiarity?
Both. I wanted both.
I heard Mother stirring. She sat up, pushing her hair back from her face. In the gloom, she smiled at me. ‘So, my daughter, we survive.’ She looked up at the image of Taris stripped of all trace of our lives there. ‘We can’t ever go back.’
‘We will make another home,’ Dad said, reaching out to touch her hand.
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘And I am thankful we’ve survived to be able to do so.’
Fergus came in, and his good spirits were obvious. ‘Good news, everyone, we’re out of danger. Anyone fancy a shower?’ He laughed as we yelled, ‘Yes!’
‘You’ll find clean clothes in the bathrooms. Not the last word in high fashion, I’m afraid.’
‘Can I have a dress?’ called out five-year-old Beta.
‘We didn’t bring dresses, honey. But you can be more colourful than you are now.’ She clapped her hands and he smiled at her. ‘There’ll be a hot meal in the dining room in an hour,’ he said. ‘You’re probably about ready for a decent feed.’
It seemed we all felt well again, and cheerful, although every so often someone would glance at poor battered Taris and grow sombre for a moment.
I took Hera and scurried off to the showers. The towels were so soft I wanted to drape mine around me and wear it as a tunic, but the clothes that had been provided for us were soft too. Hera giggled as I threaded her legs into the trousers and her arms into the sleeves. ‘Pretty,’ she said, tugging out the top to admire the row of ducklings stitched on it.
I chose my set of clothes from the shelf marked with my height, sorting through the piles and rejecting geometric patterns, cartoon characters and stripes. Ah! I pulled out a pale blue set decorated with verses of poetry written in a whole spectrum of colour. The undergarments were flimsy compared with the linen shorts we were accustomed to. I pulled on a pair and wondered what to call them – not trousers, there must be a proper name. We’d had bras on Taris, but they too were fashioned from linen and nothing like the stretchy, shaped garment I pulled over my head now.
I grinned at Hera. ‘What do you think?’
She turned up her nose. ‘Ducks.’ She patted her tummy. ‘Ducks pretty.’
I slipped the top on. It was odd having clothing that fitted close to my body. I tucked it in and knotted the tie on the trousers. ‘Come on, Hera, let’s show Mother and Dad how gorgeous we look.’
She took my hand and we navigated the big room back to our parents. They hadn’t showered yet and they stared at us in astonishment as we approached. ‘My goodness,’ Mother said at last. She shook her head. ‘All this is going to take some getting used to. You look so different.’
‘I pretty,’ Hera said, patting her ducks.
Mother swooped her up in a hug. ‘You’re beautiful, darling.’
Hera nodded. ‘You soon be pretty too.’
‘I’m going to see Vima,’ I told Mother. ‘I’ll see you at breakfast.’
‘Me too!’ Hera shouted.
I squatted down beside her. ‘No, Hera. Not this time. Not yet.’ I waited, wondering how she would react to a spot of discipline as prescribed by Willem.
She eyed me, took a breath and wailed. ‘Want to go too! Want to see Vima.’
I stood up. ‘No. You can’t. Not yet. It’s no good shouting, Hera. I’m not taking you.’
Her wails followed me as I walked off, as did the questions in my parents’ eyes. I knew they wouldn’t be reassured to hear that Willem had said she had a special sort of mind.
My plan was to find Inva and ask him to take me to visit Vima. It was slow going, walking the length of the big room, for I kept stopping to chat and to admire the outfits others had chosen.
I was talking to Silvern when Marba bounced over. ‘What do you think?’ He threw out his chest to display the image of Einstein on his top.
I grinned. ‘Very fetching. Very you.’
Silvern shot me a look. ‘Yeah, but what does the writing say?’
I managed to keep my face straight. ‘Einstein I am not.’ Then we both howled with laughter.
Marba shrugged. ‘Well, I guess that would be right.’ He strolled off but he was smiling.
‘I’m going to see Vima,’ I told her. ‘Want to come?’ She deserved to, if anyone did.
We found Inva with Elden and his grandparents, tucked in an alcove not far from the door. He led us out into the cold of the echoing corridor and down a series of ladders until we came to a door marked Medical Centre. There he lifted his hand in farewell and left us.
Trebe opened the door. ‘Ah, the heroines of the day!’ She smiled at us. ‘Vima will be delighted to see you.’
Silvern and I glanced at each other and shook our heads. If we were heroines it was only because the ship hadn’t sunk.
A door opened and Vima came through, walking gingerly. But she looked well and her eyes were no longer haunted. We hugged her. ‘Can we see him? Is he cute?’
‘Of course he’s cute! He’s my baby after all.’ She laughed at us as she led us back to her room. ‘Look at him.’ She bent over the crib, easing back the blanket to show us his face.
I’d wondered if he would look like Jov, but he just looked like a baby – tiny, scrunched up and bonemeltingly sweet. He had a drift of straight black hair and his skin was so pale it was hard to believe Vima was his mother. She smiled as she watched us fuss over him.
‘You’ve changed,’ I said. ‘You’re softer somehow.’
‘Motherhood,’ Silvern muttered. ‘Be warned, Juno. It fries your brain and gives you a personality transplant.’
Vima just grinned. ‘Yep, motherhood is big – but so is knowing I can escape from the Taris gossip train.’
So she would leave us, whatever else the rest of us decided to do. I’d known she would, but to hear her say it made my heart hurt. I turned back to the baby. ‘What’s his name?’
She touched his cheek. ‘Wilfred. It’s my grandfather’s Outside name.’
‘Hello Wilfred,’ Silvern said. ‘Vima, why’s he so pale? You sure he’s yours?’
Vima laughed and pulled a face. ‘I was there when he was born, you know. Trebe says it’s common for mixed-race babies to start off pale and darken as they grow older.’
Malia poked her head around the door. ‘I’m taking Trebe to the dining room. Do you two want to come too?’
Hot food. I couldn’t wait. ‘You coming?’ I asked Vima.
She shook her head. ‘No. It’s better I don’t.’
‘You should come!’ The words burst out of me. ‘We’d all be dead now if it wasn’t for you.’
She pushed at us. ‘Shh, don’t wake him up. I’m not coming, so don’t yell at me. It’s better this way. Believe me.’ She hustled us back to the outer room.
‘You’re not going to be able to avoid the rest of them forever,’ Silvern said. ‘Get it over with, I say.’
‘Leave her,’ Trebe said. ‘I’ve already had this conversation with her, and so has Creen. But Vima, you must come to the meeting after the meal. You need to know all you can about Outside – you of all people.’
Vima screwed up her face, but I knew she would come.
We hugged her and she held us tight for a moment. ‘Thank you. Thank you for coming for me. Thank you for making the boat wait.’ Then she pushed us to the door – though not before we’d seen the tears in her eyes.
We didn’t speak as we hurried after Malia, who strode along corridors, up a couple of ladders and along another passageway.
‘You reckon Jov’s seen his son yet?’ Silvern whispered at last.
I shrugged. The big question, and we wouldn’t be the only ones wondering.
Malia pointed to a door. ‘Go in there. I hope you enjoy the meal.’
This room was warm as well, but best of all was the savoury aroma of food.
We joined the line at the servery, standing behind Aspa, who had previously employed Vima as an apprentice. He turned with a smile to ask, ‘And the little one – is he stroppy like his mother?’
Silvern laughed. ‘No predictions yet. He was fast asleep.’
Aspa shook his head. ‘Definitely not like his mum then. Is she well?’ He dropped his voice. ‘Is she happy?’ He looked to me for the answer.
‘She is well,’ I took care with my words. ‘She is happy that she is going to leave Taris behind and live in the world without us.’
‘Ah,’ he said.
Others too asked for news of Vima and her son. We said he was gorgeous and, no, he didn’t look like anyone except himself. We were glad to concentrate on the business of getting food on our plates – light, white plates such as we’d never seen before. Cheerful people in chefs’ outfits ladled steaming stew and vegetables onto them. There were no tables in the room, which looked as if it hadn’t been designed to take so many people. Silvern and I found the rest of our stratum and sat with them on the floor.
‘Yum!’ Yin smacked his lips. ‘If this is a sample of Outside food, bring it on!’
‘What’s the baby like?’ Brex asked.
‘Adorable,’ Silvern said. ‘And cute.’
‘Watch out!’ Biddo pointed with his fork. ‘Incoming Hera.’
It was lucky he warned me. I just had time to brace myself before she flung herself into my lap. ‘Juno’s mean. Hera wants to see the baby.’
How would Willem handle this? I tried firmness again. ‘You will see him, but not just yet.’
‘Now!’ she shrieked.
I shoved my plate at Silvern. ‘Take this a second, will you?’ I grabbed Hera by her shoulders and held her still. ‘Not now, Hera.’ When? Somehow I had the feeling later wouldn’t go down too well. ‘His name is Wilfred and he’s asleep. I’ll take you to see him after we’ve listened to Willem.’
She scowled and drew in a breath.
I beat her to it. ‘And if you yell, I won’t take you at all. Now go back to Mother and Dad, and let me eat my food.’
For a moment we stared at each other, then she patted my face. ‘Okay, Juno. Hera happy now.’
My learning stratum stopped eating and watched her go. ‘A child with a mind like hers,’ Marba mused. ‘Interesting.’
Yeah, for him. He wasn’t the one who had to do the discipline. Life with Hera was shaping up to be quite a battle.
Marba tapped his plate to command our attention, and as we had always done, we gave it to him. ‘Let’s all say one thing we think Outside will be like, then we’ll see if Willem confirms it.’
An easy instruction for once.
Paz stabbed the air with his knife. ‘We’ll go to school for the whole day. There will be hundreds of other kids and when we get home we won’t have to work in gardens, kill chickens or harvest food.’
‘Well, I’m hoping they give us more clothes,’ Silvern said. ‘And I want my hair styled. By somebody who knows what they’re doing.’
Marba snorted. ‘That’s not important. Who cares what we look like?’
We girls yelled at him and Dreeda said, ‘You’ll stand out all by yourself then. Taris tunic. Hair tied back with a flax thread. A bad shave.’
Paz rubbed his own chin. ‘You know, I reckon I’m going to ask Fergus to borrow whatever he uses to shave.’
Marba rapped his knife on his plate. ‘Keep to the topic please. What will Outside be like?’
We were silent until Pel said, ‘There will be movies, concerts and stuff.’
‘But we’ll need money to go to them,’ Biddo said.
We threw around enough ideas to keep Marba happy – technology that would amaze us, different sorts of food.
I asked another question, one that had been preying on my mind. ‘But do you think we’ll stay together? Will we remake Taris on the Outside?’
‘Vima won’t stay with us,’ Fortun remarked, ‘and if she does, then Sina and Jov will go.’
Marba looked at me. ‘What do you want, Juno? Taris all over again, or something different?’
The thirteen of them waited for my reply. What did I want? I scarcely knew myself. ‘I think,’ I said slowly, ‘we have to have something different, but what I wonder is whether we can keep the good bits.’
Silvern snorted. ‘Like there were good bits to Taris? Secrecy, murder, control – yeah, fantastic!’
I set my plate on the floor and wrapped my arms around my knees. ‘We all helped each other. Nobody had more than anybody else. Not after the crisis. D’you think that’ll be the same Outside? Will we look after each other? Will we all work together?’
Paz leaned back on his elbows. ‘Nope. Nothing’s going to be the same. I’m going to have heaps of money and servants to do all the work.’
We laughed, but then Brex said, ‘Maybe that’s what we’ll all be – servants to the people who have money.’
That sobered us. ‘You know,’ Jidda said, ‘if that happens, I vote we run away and find a place to live by ourselves. I’d rather work like I did on Taris than work for somebody who didn’t even know me and just for money.’
‘But you could get money to buy a car, or … I dunno, whatever the latest techno stuff is,’ Wenda pointed out.
‘Yeah, there is that.’ Jidda looked thoughtful.
Marba sat back and watched us, his own pet lab rats.
Have you heard? Jov hasn’t seen his son yet.
Have you heard? Sina’s dad says Jov’s got no right to see the baby.
Have you heard? Galla talked to Jov’s parents.
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