excerpt from
The Cowboy, the Indian and the Fervent Feminist
from
The Best American Short Plays 1992–1993
ALICIA [Anxiously.] Stanford, I saw Doctor Bibberman today. We had a truly rewarding conversation. I asked him innumerable questions and he was very forthcoming and . . .
[A breath.]
I want to apologize to you, my sweetheart. I was so involved with what I was feeling that I was totally blind to what you were feeling. Doctor Bibberman pointed out that you’ve been under enormous stress and you have not been having an easy time of it since you were let go by our mutual employers. It was as if Doctor Bibberman had removed a blindfold from my eyes and I saw you, myself and our precious daughter in a new and healthier and more optimistic light. [. . .] I admit, I admit, I was wrong, I was insensitive, I was cruel even. But not nearly as cruel and insensitive as Benton, Berber and Pollock. And I say this knowing full well that I started working there myself as a lowly secretary, your secretary, my sweetheart, my darling. You gave me my first opportunity, my first chance, my first introduction into the fascinating world of advertising, and today I’m proud to say, I’m second in line for Chief Merchandising Officer. But what they did to you, darling, discharging you so summarily after having served them faithfully for twenty-four years, half of that time as Executive Vice President of Creative Copy. . . . To discharge you without reprieve or redress during this awful recession we’re having. . . . That was unforgivable of them. And even though I fought on your behalf, my darling, my dearest, fought with Ray Pollock until my own job was in imminent jeopardy. . . . I don’t have to go into that. But I do want you to know how ashamed I am. I had no right these past few weeks, no right whatsoever to dispute or ridicule you about your desire to . . . to have a new life for yourself, whether that life be based in reality or fantasy. Doctor Bibberman pointed all that out to me today. He even brought up the subject of your deeply unhappy relationship with your father, how removed you were from each other, how your father never took you to a baseball game or on camping trips or passed on to you values that would help you achieve maturity. It may sound farfetched but Doctor Bibberman also spoke of your childhood games of Wagon Train and Gunsmoke and how they affected your decision to become a cowboy after you suffered the trauma of sudden unemployment. [. . .] When you left your first wife and your three young children to marry me, your secretary, an unsophisticated, callow, somewhat slovenly woman seventeen years your junior, a woman without prospect or resources, and when you took on the burden of supporting two families, sending our own precious Lucinda and your three children from your former marriage to private schools and then on to universities at great expense and obligation on your part, you proved beyond a measure of a doubt that you were a man of rare principle and generosity. And now that you’re practically penniless, my darling, my love, my dear, dear husband, now that you’re getting on in years so that future employment is highly problematic for you, I want you to know that I will do every, every, everything humanly possible to make your burden lighter and less suffocatingly oppressive. [. . .] I’ll end my little speech to you by saying that it’s my wholehearted intention to love you, love you, love you to death, and be supportive of whatever dream it is that gets you through the day. Doctor Bibberman feels that with time and with your continued visits to his office, you’ll eventually disregard this . . . this fantasy of yours and return to a reality that we both can share and enjoy and build a happy, happy future on. In other words, my sweetheart, my dearest, you’re not going to have any more quarrel or arguments with me, no matter what demands you make or how improbable your suggestions are. As an active feminist this is all very difficult for me, but my love for you is so complete, so enormous a part of my life that I will do whatever has to be done to make you healthy again, so help me God.