Ken got out of his car at the office, stretching tiredly. They’d all been working extra hours in the week since the attack on Juli at the hospital wing.
Quinn worked himself harder than anyone, determined to have the project finished without any further problems. What it was costing him in additional security and overtime, Ken couldn’t even imagine.
He reached for the office door, glancing at his watch. Juli would be gone by now, and that was probably just as well. They didn’t seem to have much left to say to each other.
But when he opened the door, Angel sat up with a soft woof. Juli paused for a moment in the act of pulling something from her desk drawer, as if arrested by the sight of him.
“Hi.” Her voice was soft. “I didn’t expect to see you here. You haven’t been around the office much.”
He shrugged, trying not to show that he was affected by seeing her. “Quinn’s been working everyone hard down at the site. Including himself.”
“It’s paying off, isn’t it?” She frowned, vertical creases forming between her level brows. “Surely, with the ribbon-cutting tomorrow, success is in sight.”
“None too soon.” He bent to ruffle Angel’s ears, and the dog leaned against him, as if accepting him as a friend. “I see you’re still bringing your own security force with you.”
“Quinn would send me home if I showed up without her.” Juli took her purse from the drawer and locked her desk.
“You’re not driving yourself home, are you?” Now it was his turn to frown. “I thought your grandfather was supposed to pick you up everyday.”
She shot him an annoyed look at the reminder. “He’ll be here shortly. I called and told him I needed a little extra time to finish up the details for tomorrow’s ceremony.”
Juli had been annoyed with all of them since they’d insisted on having someone drive her to and from work, and also insisted on her keeping Angel with her the rest of the time. He could hardly blame her—Juli was an independent person who could ordinarily take care of herself. But these weren’t ordinary circumstances.
“Still think we’re overreacting?” he asked.
“Yes.” She frowned. “But I guess I have to admit that it seems to be working. Nobody dares so much as to look cross-eyed at me with all my bodyguards.”
“That’s what we want.” He tried to say it lightly. He didn’t want her to know just how terrified for her he’d been that day at the hospital.
“I haven’t been back there since,” she said. It was as if their minds worked on the same wavelength. “Is it really ready to open?”
“Near as it can be. The offices on the top floor aren’t completely finished, but that won’t take long. I know Quinn will be glad to see the last of this project.”
She nodded, her gaze fixed gravely on his face. “And then you’ll be leaving, won’t you?”
“Yes.” There was no point evading the question. “My physical is set up for tomorrow morning out at Peterson. By the time the ribbon-cutting is over, I should be ready to hand Quinn my resignation.”
“I see.” Her dark eyes gave nothing away, but somehow Ken felt the doubt that emanated from her.
His jaw tightened. “I’m fine. I’m going back to flying.” He would. He couldn’t let himself believe anything else.
And he’d been right to keep Juli at arm’s length. If he passed the exam, he’d leave as soon as possible. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be fit company for anyone. Either way, if they’d had a relationship, Juli would lose.
She was already hurt by his attitude, he could sense that. But it could have been a lot worse. The thought that he’d protected her was cold comfort when what he wanted to do was put his arms around her.
Angel, as if sensing tension in the air, pressed her head against Juli’s knee and whined.
One thing about the dog—she made a good subject of conversation when he didn’t want to talk about what he was really thinking. “Angel looks like she’s back to normal after her ordeal.”
Juli nodded, patting the dog. “She just needs to grow a little fur back.” She stroked the area at the base of Angel’s skull where the thick fur had been shaved. “Right now she knows she looks lopsided.”
“She’s still a beauty.” And so is her owner. “Jay tells me you’re back to training again.”
She nodded. “Where did you see Jay?”
“We’ve been getting together. Looking over the classes he ought to be taking, checking out extracurricular activities that will look good on his application. I don’t intend to cut the kid loose just because I’m leaving. I’ll stay in touch with him.”
“I’m glad.”
She sounded genuine, but was she thinking he could have, should have, made the same effort with her?
“Will you and Angel be headed back on active duty, too?” He couldn’t easily dismiss the memory of that day she’d wept out all her pain and grief.
“I don’t know.” Her eyes seemed to darken. “I go over it and over it, but I still don’t know if I can handle going in the field again.”
“I’m sorry. I wish there was something I could say to make it better.”
“I know. No one can.”
She might not be able to do the job she was so good at because the pain was too great. He might sink under the pain if he couldn’t go back to his. They were both still where they’d been a month ago, except that tomorrow he’d know, one way or the other, what his future held.
“Well, I’ll see you at the ribbon-cutting tomorrow, at least.” He tried to smile.
She shook her head. “Someone has to man the office. To tell you the truth, I’m not especially eager to go back into that building. I guess I’ll have to hope I never need physical therapy.”
“You’d go there if you had to. I may not know a lot about you, but I know how tough you are.”
He heard the sound of tires on gravel in the parking area and turned to see Harvey Red Feather’s faded pickup. His throat tightened. This was probably the last time they’d be alone together. He should say goodbye, but somehow he couldn’t form the words.
Juli stood at the sound of her grandfather’s truck, her throat tight with tears she was determined not to shed. This was it, then. Ken believed he was moving on with his life. Leaving was all he could think of—certainly not her.
Well, this was what he’d talked of, hoped for, all along. If she’d let herself care too much, she had no one to blame but herself.
She tried to smile and suspected it was a pitiful sight. “If we don’t have a chance to talk again, I want you to know that I wish you all the best.”
“Thank you. Once I’m cleared for duty, I expect to be on my way pretty quickly. It’ll be good to get back to a job I know I can do.”
His head was already in the clouds, she realized. If the doctors turned him down, the pain would be unimaginable. And she could do nothing about it.
However much she might want to, she couldn’t fix anyone else’s life. She moved toward the door, grateful that the action hid her face from him.
Father, I can’t help him. I don’t know what his future holds, but I know it doesn’t include me. Pain gripped her heart fiercely, and she fought it back. All I can do is release what I’ve felt and hoped to You, Lord. Please, protect Ken. And if it is Your will, please grant his desire to fly again.
She was saying goodbye to her dreams, but somehow the prayer eased her pain. It would take a long time to get over Ken, but she would be all right. God would have a good, useful life for her, even if it didn’t include Ken.
Words she’d first heard from her grandfather formed in her mind. Hand on the doorknob, she looked back at Ken. “There’s an old Pueblo blessing that always seems a good way of saying goodbye.”
She hesitated, knowing that some of the words she couldn’t say to him because they came too close to the bone. But some she could say. She mustered a smile.
“This is what Grandfather would say. Hold on to what is good. Hold on to what you believe. Hold on to what you must do, even if it is a long way from here.”
She didn’t wait for a response. She just walked away, feeling her heart break.
Ken showed up at the ribbon-cutting ceremony because he had a job to do there, but he was essentially sleepwalking, going on automatic pilot. A small crowd had already begun to gather for the ceremony. Somehow he had to concentrate on that. Somehow he had to get through the next hour.
Then and only then would he let himself think about what his future held. His stomach twisted into a knot as he approached the hospital wing. Hospitals. Doctors. He’d had enough of them for a while. What could they do but smash a man’s dreams to pieces?
That wasn’t fair, he supposed, but he wasn’t in a mood to be fair. He’d thought he’d gone into that medical exam prepared for whatever the verdict might be. Now he knew he’d just been kidding himself. He hadn’t been prepared at all.
Juli had known. The thought flickered through his mind. When she’d said goodbye to him at the office, he’d seen it in her eyes. She’d known he wasn’t ready to deal if the answer was no.
No. No more flying, at least not jets. The damage behind his eye hadn’t healed yet. Probably it never would. The Air Force wasn’t about to put him in control of a million-dollar machine.
He’d been reassigned—to Peterson Air Force Base, doing training. He’d be helping other people do what he never could. Probably the powers that be thought they were doing him a favor, assigning him here, where he had friends and family.
But they weren’t. It would be easier to deal with this blow away from people who cared.
He stopped at the entrance to the new physical therapy wing, nodding to the guard on duty. He’d go inside and check out the security arrangements, just as he was supposed to. He’d avoid anyone who might ask him about the results of his physical exam. And then—
And then nothing. He couldn’t seem to think beyond the moment.
Anger churned through him. Why? Why did You take away the only thing I’m good at? What is there for me now in this world?
The blessing Juli had quoted the previous day echoed in his mind bitterly. “Hold on to what is good. Hold on to what you believe. Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.”
He’d like to be a long way from here. He’d like to crawl into a dark cave and stay there, licking his wounds, until everyone had forgotten about him. But he couldn’t. He walked forward.
“Hey, Ken.” Quinn waved toward him from the reception desk in the center of the rotunda. A temporary podium had been set up nearby for the ceremony. “Did you finish your rounds yet?”
“I’m doing it now.”
Fortunately Quinn was too preoccupied with the successful completion of the project to even think about where Ken had been. As for the rest of his friends and family—well, way too many of them were showing up for this event. He’d just have to keep moving and hope to avoid them as long as possible.
Colleen Montgomery, Quinn’s cousin, ducked under the rope that held people away from the podium in the center of the rotunda. Catching his eye, she grinned impudently. She gestured toward the press pass that was pinned to the lapel of her cream-colored jacket.
“You wouldn’t try to keep the press out of here, now would you?”
“Believe it or not, we’ll be happy to have you report on the grand finale to the project.” He forced a smile. “It’ll be a nice change from all those stories in the newspaper about vandalism.”
“I’m looking for something more important than vandalism. Be honest with me, Ken. Do you have any thoughts about how all these problems are connected?”
“Please, Colleen.” He knew why Jake was so eager to avoid her—she was too persistent. “No conspiracy theories today. Just let us get through this ceremony.”
“Hey, you can’t blame a reporter for trying to get a decent story.” She spun around and headed for Quinn, probably hoping to get a more incendiary quote from him.
Shaking his head, he moved around the perimeter of the rotunda, alert for anyone or anything that seemed out of place. He spotted his mother, standing with Michael and Layla and deep in conversation. Judging from the desperate expression on Mike’s face, the women were probably discussing the wedding again.
At least that should keep his mother from looking for him. He moved on quickly, glancing at his watch. He still had a good fifteen minutes before the hospital board members were due to arrive. He’d check to be sure the doors to the offices had been locked, then work his way back to the main door.
Everything seemed to be running smoothly. There was no reason for the harassed expression on Quinn’s face, but Quinn probably wouldn’t relax until this was over and he could shed the suit and get back to work.
Something ruffled the pleasant anticipation of the crowd—heads turned, conversations fell off. He swung around, nerves tightening, scanning the area. There—by the main door—something was going on. A knot of figures seemed to struggle.
Quickly, trying not to look as if he were alarmed, he slipped through the crowd to the entrance. The guard he’d spoken to earlier was holding on to someone who struggled, trying to break free.
Ken reached around the guard’s bulk to grasp the arm that flailed. The guard moved, and he got a clear view. The breath went out of him as if he’d been punched in the gut.
“Jay.” He caught the boy around the shoulders, turning him so that he could get a better look at the kid’s battered face. “What happened? Who did this to you?”
The guard released the grip he had on Jay’s wrist. “Do you know this kid? I was trying to get him to go to the emergency room, but he wouldn’t. Said he had to see you or Mr. Montgomery.”
“Easy. It’s okay,” he said. But it wasn’t okay. Someone had beaten the kid—someone with hard fists had hammered on him.
Rage pounded through Ken. He drew Jay a few steps away from the entrance, shielding him from curious glances with his body. “You need a doctor.”
Jay shook his head, wincing at the movement. “No time. I had to get here—tell you what I found out.” He gasped, clutching his ribs. “It’s Theo. He did it.”
“Did what?” He held the boy, glancing around for help.
“Somebody paid him to do it.” Jay clutched his arm. “He planted a bomb. Here. You gotta get these people out. It’s set to go off during the ceremony.”