From eleven-year-old Brynn’s summer camp journal:
Dear Moms (it’s really just you, dear journal, because this can’t go to my moms, they’ll worry about me),
This year’s veggie of choice is creamed spinach. Yeah, it’s as disgusting as it sounds. I tried to tell the counselors that you like me to eat only fresh vegetables, but they didn’t care. I tried to tell them how much sodium we were consuming, and that it canceled out the goodness, but deaf ears . . .
I still get picked last for teams, in case you were wondering. It was Eli who picked me this time, and he apologized, but I’m still mad.
Oh, and don’t you worry, Kinsey is still mean. She didn’t hide my glasses this time, but she still can’t do any of the night activities, so we’re the only two stuck in the cabin.
She pretends I don’t exist.
Works for me.
Eli sneaked me a candy bar. I think he really is sorry, but I’m not going to forgive him until tomorrow so I can have another candy bar.
Oh, and I still want to come home.
Love,
Brynn
BRYNN FOLLOWED THE scent of barbeque through the warm, cozy house, loving the feel of the creaking wood floors beneath her feet. She ended up in the kitchen, where Eli introduced her to his brother.
Max took one look at her and smiled at her the same way Eli had when they’d first seen each other again. Like it was incredibly amazing and touching to see her, and she realized he knew about her, while she knew nothing about him.
“Nice to have you,” Max said genuinely.
Mini was sitting on a dog bed in the corner, chewing on a bone, but stopped chewing to greet Brynn with wild enthusiasm, including a chin-to-forehead lick, even though she’d just seen her five minutes ago.
“Sign of approval,” Eli said.
She sensed the brothers staring at each other over her head, but when she pulled back, she couldn’t tell what was going on.
Mini was head-butting Brynn’s hand, trying to get more pets, and Brynn laughed. “I’m getting the feeling she loves everyone.”
Max touched his finger to his nose in confirmation. “Grab a plate, darlin’.”
The master of pretending everything was fine and normal, she did. They ate on the porch. She consumed both a burger and a hot dog, and found herself laughing and relaxing with the brothers in a way she hadn’t let herself in . . . well, forever.
After, she insisted on helping clean up. “I like a woman who can eat,” Max said appreciatively, drying the dishes she washed while Eli cleaned the grill.
Max looked a lot like his brother. Matching searing gray eyes, sun-kissed brown hair that seemed to have no interest in anything other than doing its own thing in a sexily mussed kind of way, a fit body that said he spent a lot of time doing physical things, and a smile that could stop hearts. He was also very young, though that mischief in his eyes said he could compensate for his age with plenty of experience.
Eli came back into the kitchen and pointed at his younger brother. “Stop that.”
“Stop what?” Max asked with a mock innocence that had Eli shaking his head.
“You know what. Don’t flirt with her. Roommates are off-limits.”
“Since when?” Max wanted to know.
“Since the last three roommates you single-handedly chased away once you broke their hearts. No more. Besides, Brynn is smarter than you are, she can see right through you.”
Max looked at Brynn.
Brynn nodded sagely.
Max laughed. “Okay, I’ll give you that much. But it would’ve been fun.”
Brynn had no doubt.
When they’d finished cleaning up, Brynn headed out of the kitchen. Knowing she was starting a new job tomorrow had put butterflies in her tummy. “Thanks for dinner, but I’ve got to get some sleep.”
“Let me help you bring the rest of your stuff in first,” Eli said.
She shook her head. “Thanks, but that’s okay, it’s not important.”
Those fascinating gray eyes seemed to be able to see inside her, but she just smiled and made her way to her new bedroom to avoid more talk.
And a little bit to avoid Kinsey, as well, who presumably was in the car she’d just heard pull into the driveway.
She used their bathroom quickly, and then turned off her light and got into bed.
Two hours later, she was still staring up at the ceiling. She couldn’t sleep, and she didn’t want to think about why. When her stomach growled, she sat up and listened.
The house was quiet.
Assuming the coast was clear, she slipped on her favorite baggy sweats and tiptoed out.
Mini was sleeping in yet another dog bed at the top of the stairs. The sweet dog lifted a sleepy head and gave her a smile, and Brynn choked out a laugh. Someone had hung a small sign around her neck that said:
Zero days since the last toilet paper massacre.
“You’re my favorite roommate,” she whispered, and hugged her before heading down the stairs and into the kitchen. She hadn’t had a chance to go food shopping for herself yet, but Eli had said to make herself at home. She’d just take a peek and see if there was anything she could snack on and replace tomorrow. But the view out the window had her stepping out onto the back porch. Staring up at a gorgeous full moon high above the water, she sank into the porch swing in the far corner to take it all in. She was still there a few minutes later when she heard voices.
Eli and Max.
They were coming up the back porch steps wearing wet suits, leaning their surfboards against the house at the bottom of the stairs.
They’d been surfing in the dark. At midnight, by moonlight. She didn’t know if that was the coolest thing she’d ever heard of, or the most stupidly dangerous.
The guys unzipped their wet suits and peeled them down to their lean hips, and she quickly sat up to make herself known, but Max spoke first. “She’s cute.”
Eli just slid him a look.
“What? She is. And I know you know it because I caught you looking at her ass.”
Eli reached into a cooler. He cracked open a bottle of water, drank for a long moment, and then said, “I just remembered you owe me that favor from when I got you the job at the marina. You said it could be anything.”
“That was a year ago.”
“Well, I’ve finally decided. You’re going to clean out the garage this weekend and make room for our new renter to park in it.”
Max grinned.
“What?”
“Man, it’s been a long time since you resorted to dickhead threats to change the subject. Just admit it, you’ve got a thing for her.”
Brynn stilled. Well, everything except her good parts. Those tingled. Eli couldn’t possibly have a thing for her. If he had, it would’ve happened after their long-ago kiss. Or any of the summers after that, until he’d stopped going to camp. Or even the other day at the hospital.
When you’d pretended not to remember him . . .
She sighed silently. She was such an idiot, compounding her errors. Because she should’ve made herself known the minute they’d appeared on the porch, but now it was too late. So she sat very still and hoped they didn’t say anything else she couldn’t unhear.
“You going to do anything about it?” Max asked. “Or are you going to tell me I’m full of shit, that you feel nothing, the same nothing you’ve been feeling for way too long? And you need to be careful here, bro, because if you say that, it means she’s up for grabs. Think she likes younger guys?”
“Try anything on her and no one will ever find your body.”
Max grinned. “See, I knew it. You do still like her.” He leaned forward to catch Eli’s response.
Brynn leaned forward too. Because . . . still?
Eli pressed a finger to an eye, like maybe it was twitching. “She’s not here for that,” he said. “I think she’s been hurt. She’s . . . trying to heal.”
Brynn froze, shocked to realize she’d broadcasted that with body language alone.
Max lost both his smile and teasing tone. “Do we need to go teach some guy his manners?”
“Only if she wants us to,” Eli said, and Brynn felt something warm inside her, in a place where she’d shoved deep the things that made her cold and scared.
“I see you, you know,” Max said.
Brynn froze, feeling her face flush. She’d been found out, and she opened her mouth to apologize, but Max spoke again.
“I know you’re still struggling with your grandma’s death.”
Brynn blinked, because he was talking to Eli, not her.
Without a word, Eli set his water aside and went back to the cooler for a beer.
He’d lost a grandparent, one he’d clearly been very close to. Brynn knew what that felt like; it was an actual hole in your life. Not having ever had a dad, she’d always been aware of what she was missing, the grief of it. But since she was lucky enough to have two moms, she’d kept that grief to herself.
But that didn’t make the feeling go away.
“I’m okay,” Eli said.
“You spent a lot of time with her, from age ten on,” Max said. “She left a void.”
“Of course she did. She was my only parent after Dad . . .”
“Boned the babysitter?” Max’s voice was dry and sounded much older than he was. “You don’t have to dance around that for me. My mom was never shy about how she stole him from your mom. I was always jealous as hell that you got to go live with your grandma. She sent you to that great summer camp for a bunch of years.”
Eli smiled. “She did.”
“Did you ever hear back from your mom on what she’s going to do with your grandma’s ashes?”
The soft snort from Eli didn’t sound like amusement. “No. I called the funeral home, but unless she gets back to them, aka pays for their services, Grandma will end up in a grave where all the unclaimed remains go.”
“Not what she wanted.”
“No, she wanted to be buried, not cremated, with a proper funeral,” Eli said. “And blessed by her priest before being laid to rest next to her husband. But Mom did the cremation without a care for any of that. Now the best I can do is get the funeral home to hold off on the unmarked grave until I can get the paperwork for the right to make the decisions.”
“And how are you going to get the paperwork?”
“I don’t know,” Eli said. “I was counting on at least one of my parents calling me back so I could try to talk them into letting me do the right thing.”
Max shook his head. “You’re going to offer to pay for everything, aren’t you?”
Eli took a long pull on his beer.
“That’s such bullshit, man. You already mortgaged the house for her long-term care and medical bills.”
“This isn’t about me.”
“No, but it should be. Seriously, you’re the most stubborn person on the planet.”
Eli shrugged. Apparently he already knew that.
Max sighed. “I heard your mom was in Singapore,” he said quietly.
Eli looked at him in surprise. “What’s she doing there?”
“She bought a house there.” Max turned a disbelieving look on Eli. “She really didn’t tell you?” He paused and shook his head with obvious disgust. “Of course she didn’t. The only reason I even know is because my mom found out.”
“She still stalking her via Instagram and Snapchat?”
It was Max’s turn to snort. “Yeah, and has ever since she was that eighteen-year-old babysitter screwing her paycheck. She’d cooled it for a while, but someone called her the trophy wife a few weeks ago and it sort of renewed her obsession.”
Brynn felt a tug at her heart at the expression on Eli’s face, which she could only see in profile. Hurt. Angry.
“I’m sorry,” Max said. “You deserve better.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Dude, it fucking matters, okay? It was your birthday last week and neither of them even called you. Now you’re just trying to give your grandma the burial she wanted. It’s not rocket science. Our parents, all of them, suck ass.”
Brynn realized she was rubbing a hand across her chest, aching, feeling a connection to Eli that she hadn’t expected. She couldn’t imagine either of her moms ghosting her. Or avoiding her at all, for any reason. And if one of them were to die—even the thought hurt madly—the other would do whatever her wife had wanted, no matter what. So it was incredible to Brynn that Eli was burdened with this. Fighting his mom to give his grandma the burial she’d wanted.
Max stirred. “I’m going to bed, man, and you should do the same.”
“Yeah.”
They both began to—oh, shit—peel their wet suits the rest of the way off right there on the porch. Brynn had long ago lost her moment to announce herself, and she knew it, but . . .
Good.
Lord.
They weren’t wearing anything beneath. Their backs were to her and she knew it was wrong, but her feet wouldn’t move and her eyes couldn’t seem to help themselves.
Eli had the best butt on the entire planet.
And then he turned around and, sweet baby Jesus, even in the chilly night he was impressive.
At that very moment, Mini pushed her way out the screen door, looking sweet and sleepy, tail going a mile a minute, happy to see her guys.
But she didn’t go to her guys, because Brynn’s luck didn’t run that way. Nope. The big yellow lab headed right for Brynn on the porch swing, letting out a welcoming snort.
Shaking her head, she held out her hands, trying to ward the dog off.
But Mini didn’t have any sense of boundaries. She snorted again right before she jumped onto her lap.
Brynn gasped and automatically wrapped her arms around the dog to keep them both from tipping off the porch swing.
And failed.
“What the hell?” Eli said, just as Brynn and Mini landed on the floor in a tangle of limbs.
Someone hit the porch light. Eyes trying to adjust to the sudden glare, Brynn blinked like an owl.
Or a peeping Tom.
Mini helpfully licked her face.
Finally, Brynn managed to crane her neck out of licking range, and from flat on her back, looked up at two naked men.
“I think we made her speechless,” Max said, and grabbed the two towels slung over the railing.
Eli held out his hand for one of them, but Max flashed a grin and, still holding both towels, walked into the house, passing right by Brynn to do so.
“Nice,” Eli said sarcastically to his brother’s ass, but just shook his head and turned to Brynn. “Remember to tell Mini ‘down,’” he reminded her, offering her a hand up.
She took it, sucking in a breath at the odd bombardment of sensations. His hand was warm and slightly rough with calluses. As for the rest of him, she did her best not to look.
Much.
As soon as she was upright, their gazes met for a single beat, during which he gave her a look she couldn’t quite interpret before he turned away. “Mini, come.”
And then man and dog followed after Max, into the house.
With a grimace, Brynn headed in as well. Mini turned three circles in her huge dog bed and plopped down with a groan, closing her eyes. In two seconds she was snoring at shocking decibels.
Max was leaning against the kitchen counter, covered by one of the towels, sipping a beer. Eli snatched the other and wrapped it around himself. It was a Day-Glo pink and read, I’M HOT, all in bright-white letters. He should’ve looked ridiculous.
He did not.
“Beer?” Max asked her.
“No, thank you.” She was trying not to stare at Eli, she really was. But he had a drop of water on his collar bone, slowly sliding down his pec and heading south, south, south, past his abs and still moving. It was absorbed by the towel sitting low on his hips, and good God, she was still staring, so she jerked her eyes up to the ceiling.
Her first reaction had been decidedly female. Her second reaction, right on its heels, was different, and all amusement fled. Because the last time she’d had a naked roommate, he’d ended up robbing her blind. She cleared her throat. “First of all, I’m really sorry,” she managed. “I know I should’ve told you I was there. And second”—she looked at them both—“I’m wondering if it’s okay if we make a roommate rule.”
Max stopped with his beer halfway to his mouth and looked at her. “Roommate rule?”
“Such as ‘eavesdropping is rude’?” Eli asked mildly.
Brynn blushed. “Yes. Absolutely, yes. But also . . . maybe something about roommates walking around naked and stuff.”
“Good idea,” Max said. “How about if one of us is naked, we should all be naked.” He laughed, clearly amused by himself.
Eli didn’t laugh. He frowned at his brother. “Max.”
Max looked at Brynn’s face, and his own smile faded. “Sorry. I’m just kidding. I wouldn’t—”
“Go to bed, Max,” Eli said.
Max looked at Brynn again, all teasing and joking gone. “Sorry,” he repeated. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
She thought maybe she managed a reassuring smile before he tossed his beer into the trash and ambled off down the hall, but she wasn’t sure. She was still somewhat frozen in place. It’d been wrong of her, very wrong, to stay on the porch like she had. All of it—hearing a conversation she shouldn’t have, seeing them strip out of their wet suits—that was all on her, and she felt awful about it. But she hadn’t felt . . . uncomfortable until right now, because they hadn’t done anything wrong. She’d given them the wrong idea.
Eli had set down his own beer after only a sip and was now looking at her, gaze weighted.
“I really am sorry,” she said quietly, feeling nervous and sick. “I should’ve announced myself.”
“Why didn’t you?”
Good question. And when she didn’t, couldn’t, answer, he turned and vanished into the laundry room.