SCENE TWELVE

(LIZA, TOTTIE, all. LIZA is waltzing — humming, or lala- ing the tune (‘Logie o Buchan’). Then starts to make up words for the tune, dancing hesitantly, searching hesitantly for words. Sings some or all of this)

LIZA: O, the plooman’s so bonny wi black curly hair

He dances so trig and his smile is just rare

His arms are so strong as he birls me awa

His black eyes are bonny and laughing and bra

His name it is Kello, the best o them a’

His name it is Kello, the best o them a’

(Waltzing with an imaginary partner now, more confident, repeating the song more confidently…

A laugh from TOTTIE, who has been hiding, watching. She appears, kissing her own arm with grotesque kissing noises, sighing, petting noises. LIZA, annoyed, gives her a shove or tries to — TOTTIE shoves back, hard)

TOTTIE: Tinkler, tailor, beggar — Kello! (More kissing noises) Tinkler, tailor, beggar — lover!

LIZA: Tak yer hook, you — go on.

TOTTIE: I looked in the glass. I looked in the glass too. It was twelve o’clock, so I saw. I saw my man. You know who I saw?

LIZA: You haven’t a glass. Jenny’s the only one with a glass. Away wag yer mou somewhere else. Go on!

TOTTIE: Jenny went with the saddler. I saw them in the rigs. Not our rigs. The lang syne rigs up by the moor. You can hide up there, the furrows are deep. The ghosts’ll get them if they don’t watch out. Her claes were way up. Woosh! She’s getting wed to the saddler. That’s what you do! Woosh! (…) I’ve seen you too. You went with the Gyptian. In the turnip house.

LIZA: I never did. I was dancing, that’s all. He was showing me the steps. And he’s not a Gyptian.

TOTTIE: Woosh!

LIZA: Daftie! Come on, I’ll show you the steps. Come on, come here.

TOTTIE: I know the steps!

LIZA: I want to go over the steps. If you don’t know them right, no one will ask you. You want to dance at the kirn, don’t you?

(LIZA holds out her arms, but TOTTIE declines to dance with her. LIZA starts waltzing again, singing. TOTTIE watches for a while, then suddenly breaks into a raucous clog (or boot) dance, in fast reel or jig time: rough, spirited, noisy. And, like LIZA, sings her own accompaniment:)

TOTTIE

Liza loves the plooman

Bonnie black-eyed plooman

Kello is the plooman

O, he’s no a tinkler

O, he’s no a mugger

O, he’s no a Gyptian

He’s a black-eyed plooman

Bonnie black-eyed plooman, etc.

(Which kills LIZA’s waltz. She stares amazed — TOTTIE’s dancing may lack finesse, but it’s wholehearted, makes you want to dance with her.

The others appear, join in. Someone bangs the ground with a graip (or hoe) handle, beating time, they are all singing TOTTIE’s rhythm now, same tune, same lines, but each singing different lines to each line of the music. The dance is becoming the kirn, has led into the kirn. It stops abruptly:)

VOICES: (toasts, asides, conversation)

The kirn, the kirn, the kirn, the kirn

What a folk/a’body’s here/mind the bairns

A good harvest/best for years/best in my time.

TOTTIE: (listing the repertoire of dances) Reel o Tulloch, ribbon dance pin reel, polka.

VOICES:

All the corn standing and none to lift

I can’t stay late because of the bairns

Will you look at Marjie’s petticoats!

The saddler’s shed his hair doon the middle!

TOTTIE: Tullogorum, petronella, strathspey, scotch reel.

VOICES:

A good harvest’s the envy of none

And a blessing to all

(Toast) Welcome to the maister

(Toast) Thanks to the maister for the harvest home

And the use of the barn

And the beer and the baps

We’ve a good maister

(Toast) To the maister

And a better mistress

(Toast) To the mistress

Health and Prosperity

A good harvest is a blessing to all

And the envy of none

(They shush each other to silence as someone starts to sing maybe Burns — the song entitled ‘Somebody’:)

My heart is sair — I darena tell —

My heart is sair for somebody;

I could wake a winter night

For the sake o somebody.

Ohon! for somebody!

O-hey! for somebody!

I could range the world around,

For the sake o somebody!

    

Ye Powers that smile on virtuous love,

O, sweetly smile on somebody!

Frae ilka danger keep him free,

And send me safe my somebody.

Ohon! for somebody!

O-hey! for somebody!

I was do — what wad I not?

For the sake o somebody!