I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:13 (NKJV)
Try to identify the historical figure from the following brief paragraph:
When I was seven years old, my family was forced out of our home because of a legal technicality. I had to work to help support my family. At age nine, while still a backwards, shy little boy, my mother died. At age 22, I lost my job as a store clerk. I wanted to go to law school, but my education wasn’t good enough. At 23, I went into debt to become a partner in a small store. Three years later my partner died leaving me a huge debt, which took years to repay. At 28, after developing romantic relations with a young lady for four years, I asked her to marry me. She said no. At 37, on my third try, I was finally elected to the United States Congress. Two years later, I ran again and failed to be re-elected. I had a nervous breakdown at that time. At 41, adding additional heartache to an already unhappy marriage, my four-year-old son died. The next year I ran for Land Officer and lost. At 45, I ran for the Senate and lost. A few years later, I ran for the Vice Presidency and lost. At 49, I ran for the Senate again and lost. And at 51, I was elected President of the United States.
My name is Abraham Lincoln.
Lincoln’s life was one continuous failure. But he kept on going and became probably the greatest president in American history. He realized that failure is not final.1
I believe that Abraham Lincoln’s legacy and impact on the world was only felt because he realized that failure is not final. Lincoln apparently did not feel inadequate even though he experienced a lot of rejection, and was unsuccessful quite often. Talk about someone who could have felt unwanted! If he would have felt inadequate, he certainly would have given up early in life and the world would have been robbed of the amazing gifts and talents he had. The example that Lincoln set is proof to me that no matter how often we strike out in life, if we keep getting up to bat, we will eventually hit a home run. He failed at many things and yet he was not an ultimate failure, and I am sure it was because he refused to feel defeated and inadequate. No one can know why he failed so many times before he experienced success, but his life is proof that we can succeed if we won’t give up.
Thoughts of inadequacy sound like this: I am not capable, I don’t think I have what it takes, I can’t, I am not, I lack… Those and other similar thoughts rob us of the vision and creativity to be the best that we can be. I have learned, through God’s Word and my own experiences, that I can indeed do anything God wants me to do through Him. That literally means that He will give us the ability we need if we trust Him to do so. We cannot do things that are against God’s will, but if God wants us to do a thing, we can be assured that He will provide everything we need for the task. Perhaps the next time you are trying to do something that you cannot seem to do, you should ask yourself if you are doing what God wants you to do, or merely what you want to do. If it is just your plan and it isn’t working, then drop it, but if you are sure it is God’s will for you, then don’t give up!
If God wants us to do a thing, we can be assured that He will provide everything we need for the task.
I often hear people express fears about their inadequacy in various areas, but one I hear often is the fear of their inadequacy to be a good parent. They are so fearful of making mistakes that they cannot flow in the natural gifting that God gives us to be parents. Are there bad parents? Absolutely there are, but they are not people who are seeking to be good ones. If you truly want to be a good parent, you can relax because a lot of it is common sense. I was raised in a very dysfunctional home and can safely say that I did not have good parenting, yet I was a good mother to four children who all love God and are doing well in life. I prayed every night to be a good wife and a good mother and when we do that, it opens the door for God to help us. I wasn’t a perfect parent by any means, and you won’t be either, but you need not feel inadequate to parent. Actually, you should not feel inadequate to do anything that you need to do in life. We may be inadequate for many things without God’s help, but in and through Him, we can do all things (see Philippians 4:13).
The fear that we are inadequate is just another way of saying that we are afraid of failure. The fear of inadequacy steals our confidence. Without confidence, we usually won’t even try things, and even if we do, we are unsuccessful because at the core of our being we don’t really believe we can do what we have set out to do. If we don’t believe in our success, then who will? We cannot motivate other people to trust us if we don’t trust ourselves. I know that in the back of many people’s minds the nagging thought of What if I fail? is still lurking, but it’s time to ignore that thought and listen to courage instead. Courage doesn’t ask, “What if I fail?” Courage asks, “What if I succeed?”
Remember what the shepherd boy, David, asked when he heard Goliath spouting curses and insults against God and the armies of Israel? David, full of courage, asked, “What shall be done for the man who kills this Philistine and takes away the reproach from Israel?” (1 Samuel 17:26). While everyone else was thinking, What if I fail? David was thinking, What If I succeed?
It’s important to note that most successes are not “overnight successes.” I think it is safe to say that there are setbacks in nearly every venture. Things happen that we didn’t expect, and some of them are arrows from Satan to make us believe that we are inadequate for the task at hand, or perhaps for any task at all. Very few people simply decide what they want to do and have immediate success, and even if they did, I am not sure it would be good for them. Usually we appreciate our successes more if we have to make a genuine investment in order to have them. I often say that my greatest testimony is simply, “I am still here.” What I mean by that is that even though there have been many setbacks along my journey, I did not give up. With God’s help, I kept getting up to bat and finally hit some home runs.
“Failure is not an option” is a quote of many people with Type A personalities, but in reality, millions of people can’t fail because they haven’t even begun. They won’t try anything, especially not anything out of the ordinary, due to the fear of being inadequate and failing. Their fear keeps them trapped in safe, narrow, boring, and frustrating lives. They have goals, hopes, and dreams that they will never realize because they don’t want to fail.
Many times, the answer for progress is actually in failing. Michael Jordan’s story is fascinating because he’s one of the world’s greatest basketball players of all time, yet he couldn’t make the cut on his team in high school. Michael Jordan said, “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life, and that is why I succeed.”2 You see, only those willing to keep on failing at times will also enjoy those times of success.
Thomas Edison said, “I failed my way to success.”3 Henry Ford said, “One who fears failure limits his activities. Failure is only the opportunity to more intelligently begin again.”4 John Maxwell wrote an entire book that teaches people how to “fail forward.” Thinking like this will prevent failure from being permanent.
One very well known worship leader that I know failed music class. I barely passed English class and have written 100-plus books and have a daily television program sharing the Gospel with people around the world.
I read about two singers and how their reaction to the symptoms of nervousness before going onstage affected them completely differently. One of them wanted to completely back out, and for the other one, it was a signal that it’s “Showtime!” I have preached thousands of times; yet I often look at my notes and wonder if I will have enough to say. These types of feelings are not a problem unless we let them stop us. We must move past fear and “do it afraid.”
The fear of failure, as with all fears, keeps us from enjoying some aspect of life. The fear of failure is often one of the most paralyzing fears. Sometimes we are so concerned about failing that we don’t try an activity we want to try, and we can end up resenting other people who are enjoying their lives while we sit on the sidelines and watch. Other times our fear of failure is so strong that we subconsciously undermine our own efforts so we don’t have to continue to try. The fear is so strong that it brings about the defeat that we feared.
The fear of failure is usually caused by some traumatic event in early life, like demeaning parents or siblings, or teachers. It can also be caused by some event that caused great embarrassment. It doesn’t help that our culture demands so much perfection. Perfection is an illusion, but people with crippling phobias won’t try anything until they feel that their perfection is guaranteed, something none of us can have. The only way to know if we can ever do a thing is to try to do it and see. Step out and find out! Even a turtle can’t get anywhere unless he sticks his neck out.
The only way to know if we can ever do a thing is to try to do it and see. Step out and find out!
If you step out and try, you might not end up with perfection, but it is better than being stuck doing nothing.
Anxiety is a symptom of fear. Someone said that anxiety is fear’s first cousin and that we can define anxiety as experiencing failure in advance. Anxiety steals our “now life” because mentally and emotionally, we are looking ahead thinking that there will be a negative result of some kind. Thinking that I might lose my job steals the joy of having one. Being afraid of illness causes stress and steals our health. Being anxious about our ability to parent properly prevents us from receiving wisdom from God to do so. Fear of any kind has no positive results. It steals everything good that God wants for us and prevents us from enjoying anything we do have.
I encourage you to expect something good to happen instead of being anxious that it won’t. When we work with anticipation, it is more fun and can often be a self-fulfilling point of view. God is good and He wants us to expect Him to be good to us (see Isaiah 30:18). God is waiting to help us with everything we need to do in life. All He wants is to be invited to help us. The truth is that most of us are very inadequate without God’s help, but through Christ we can do whatever we need to do in life.
Have you ever met anyone who always has a little sarcastic or negative comment to make about people who are successful? I have, and I always assumed it was jealousy. I am sure that jealousy does play into the problem, but I also have come to think that if a person has the need to diminish someone else’s success with negative comments, it may be due to their own fears. Perhaps they have been afraid of failure, and their resentment of those who are succeeding is merely a symptom of that fear. People who make these comments might say things like, “I would be successful too if I had been born with a silver spoon in my mouth.” Or, “He isn’t all that talented, he was just lucky.” Comments like these are merely proof that we resent the success of others, and there is no reason to resent it if we have done all we can do to have successes of our own. I often say, “Don’t be jealous of what someone else has if you don’t want to do what they did to get it.”
I urge people to stop and take an inventory of how they feel about themselves. A lot of our problems are that we don’t feel very good about ourselves. God assigns value to us and He equips us with gifts, abilities, and talents, and we need to believe that with God all things are possible. Inadequate feelings often come from comparing ourselves with someone else, but God isn’t asking us to be anyone other than our own unique self. I may not be able to do what someone else can do, but I can do what I can do, and it is often something that nobody else can do. Do you feel small, minimized, or just plain incapable? If so, you are not the first one to feel that way.
Many of the people we call Bible heroes had to face the same feelings of inadequacy that we do. Moses felt inadequate for the job God was calling him to. He actually told God that He had the wrong man and needed to give the job to someone else. Moses said, “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” (Exodus 3:11). Perhaps many of us have asked that question when great opportunity was in front of us. People might even say to us, “Who do you think you are?” and understandably so because God often calls us to do things that we are not naturally qualified for.
God answered Moses’ concern by simply saying, “I will surely be with you” (Exodus 3:12). The same reason He gives in answer regarding all fear. “Fear not for I am with you.” All Moses had to do was take the first step of faith, and then as he experienced the faithfulness of God, it enabled him to take another and another until he had completed the task.
Zacchaeus was a little man who was so short that he could not see Jesus over the crowd of people. He could have felt inadequate, but he was aggressive and climbed a tree and ended up with the best view of anyone. Jesus also noticed his tenacity and decided to go to his house for dinner.
Paul was perhaps the greatest of all the apostles and his name meant small and little. I would rather have a name that meant strong and great, wouldn’t you? But neither Paul’s name, nor the mistakes he had made in life, kept him from becoming a great man.
These three examples are of people who had reason to feel inadequate but refused to do so. They pressed past their concerns and fears, but there are other examples in God’s Word of those who didn’t.
Twelve men were sent into the Promised Land as spies and were to bring back a report. Ten came back and stated that although the land was very good, there were giants in the land and they were afraid to go in. They made this statement: “We were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight” (Numbers 13:33). People see us the way we see ourselves. They felt inadequate, and the giants realized it. There was no point in them fighting—they had lost the fight before it ever began due to their fears.
Only two of the spies gave a good report saying, “We are well able to conquer so let us go up at once” (Numbers 13:30). These two were Joshua and Caleb, and they had a different spirit from those who were fearful. They both went on to do great and mighty things, but we never hear of the 10 spies again who saw themselves as grasshoppers.
How do you see yourself? It is said that our self-image is like a photo we carry of ourselves. Take time to stop and reflect on how you think of yourself because a lot of other things in your life will be determined by those thoughts.
A fear of inadequacy and failure can put your life on hold. It causes you to avoid anything that you don’t view as totally safe or a guaranteed success. We would all like guarantees that the choices we make will have good results, but that is not often the case. “If I change my hair color, will I like it?” “If I apply for a promotion at work, will I get it?” “If I get married, can I be guaranteed I will be happy?” I think that if we did have those guarantees it would take all the mystery out of life and we would feel safe, but bored! Much of what God offers us is a mystery. Faith is a mystery simply because it is based on something we cannot always see or feel. We can see stepping out in faith as exciting or frightening; the choice is ours. I feel that my journey with God is exciting because I don’t live in the fear of making a mistake.
We can see stepping out in faith as exciting or frightening; the choice is ours.
Someone called me one morning and said, “I am going to ask you something that is really far out and a bit crazy,” and I must admit, I thought, Oh my, what is this all about!? They even expressed again what a crazy idea they were about to present to me, which really made me curious. After the person told me what they wanted to ask me, I realized I was unable to grant their request, but I didn’t look down on them for asking. I was even able to suggest someone else they might ask who could perhaps grant their request. The person could have been too frightened to ask, but their boldness may yet bear good fruit. Sometimes we have to start moving in order to figure out the direction we should take. When you step out and find that your direction is not correct, don’t give up—just take a step in another direction and don’t give up until you find the right one.
In my opinion people give up far too easily, and I would love to see people be a lot more persistent because I believe that persistence pays off. Get your life off of “hold.” Get it out of park and start driving. Passivity is the devil’s playground. He loves it when we shrink back in fear and do absolutely nothing. He loves it, but we don’t. We may think we are safe, but actually we end up miserable. God has created us for progress, movement, mystery, and having goals and reaching them. We are cheating ourselves if we don’t boldly go for all God has in mind for us.
Don’t focus on what you can’t do, what you didn’t do, and what you don’t do, but instead focus on what you can do, what you have done, and what you are doing. We absolutely must see ourselves, and our lives, in a positive way. Thinking too much about what you didn’t do in the past and how things didn’t work out will simply prevent you from trying again. Purpose to focus on one thing that you have been successful at and that will energize you to try something else. You do have potential, you are not inadequate, you are capable, and you will be robbing the rest of us if you won’t believe it!
It isn’t over until it’s over, and it’s not over yet.
Perhaps your experience with yourself in the past hasn’t been one of success, but I always say, “It isn’t over until it’s over, and it’s not over yet.” Maybe you feel that life has thrown you under the bus, but you can still decide to get up and drive the bus if you want to. It is never too late for a new beginning in how you approach life. If you have been fearful in the past, or have felt inadequate, today is the best day for a change! Let this be the day that you begin to “do it afraid”!