Fanny Says She Made Him Feel Better

Monroe and I, well, we used to have a lotta fun. We’d sneak off, do it under a tree in the countryside. And we’d sneak off while the girls finished up dinner and diddle in the back of the Chevrolet, and he’d say, Fanny, I dare you, and I’d say, Monroe, don’t you dare me, and we’d giggle and hide on the side of the road somewheres. . . . And it was half the fun of it, really, sneaking. And I tell you, we all just about worn our husbands out. I done it a thousand times pretending. And he’d say, Now, you had a good time last night? And I’d say, Yeeeahh.

But Monroe, after his heart, just couldn’t no more. And the nurse came in, and I was sitting on the foot of his bed, and she asked us, How many times do you have sex? And Monroe, well, he got so embarrassed, his face was as red as on that Pepsi can there, and well, just like he always does when he got embarrassed like that, he says, Ask her. And I coulda just about killed him, but I said, Oh, about four times a week, and he sat up, just a grinning like a motherfucker.