How to Dress like Fanny

Don’t carry a purse but a pocketbook, and underneath

don’t wear a bra and panties

but a push-up Frederick’s of Hollywood brassiere

and a pair of bloomers—nylon, always white, pulled up

as far as bloomers can possibly go.

For your shoes, two options: should you need to go shopping

or get your pressure checked, lace up a pair of white Keds.

Otherwise, it’s house shoes, dust-pink slippers

curled from the dryer into tiny, warm cups for your feet.

Now, every day, every single day, wear the exact same top:

a businessman’s short-sleeve, white. Buy three dozen of them

three sizes too big, cut the collars off, have them bleached bright,

starched twice, and no sense in clasping more than two