Contents

Foreword

—Sally Winston, PsyD

Introduction

CHAPTER 1: The Worry Trick

Worry: An Uninvited Guest

You CAN Change Your Worry Habit

What Is the Worry Trick?

Danger or Discomfort?

Fear of the Unknown

Can You Predict the Future?

How Worrying Backfires on You

Worry Always Gets the Last Word!

Meet the Worriers

Case 1: Scott

A Chronic Worrier

Case 2: Ann

Fearful of Being Judged

Thinking It Over

CHAPTER 2: It’s All In My Head—and I Wish It Would Leave!

The Comparison Game

The Content of Worries

Are You an Equal Opportunity Worrier?

Ordinary Worry: A Workable Relationship

Chronic Worry: A Dysfunctional Relationship

What Does Chronic Worry Do to You?

The Struggle Is Not Just in Your Head

Your Relationship with Worry

How Do You Get to This Point?

Relating to Thoughts

Review Your Typical Worries

Put Your Worries in a Lineup

Cross-Examine Your Worries

“Just the Facts, Ma’am”

Feelings vs. Thoughts

Thinking It Over

CHAPTER 3: Your Dual Relationship with Worry

The Two-Sided Relationship with Worry

Stance 1: Treat the Worry as an Important Warning

Arguing with the Worry

Ritualistic Responses

Internet Research (Googling)

Consult Experts

Consult “Non-Experts”—Friends, Family, Coworkers, and Neighbors

Avoidance

Cognitive Restructuring Taken Too Far

Stance 2: Stop Thinking That!

Distracting Yourself

Thought Stopping

Use of Substances

Drugs and Alcohol

Prescription Medications

Comfort Foods

Avoidance of Cues and Reminders

Support People

Support Objects

Take Inventory

Thinking It Over

Chapter 4: Feeling Afraid in the Absence of Danger: How Odd Is That?

Fear for Sale

It’s Only a Movie, But It Can Still Scare You

Why Do I Have These Thoughts?

What’s the Purpose of Anxiety?

A False Prediction

Is It All Your Fault?

There’s More to the Brain Than You Think

Meet Your Amygdala

“Getting Through It” Misses the Point

All Worry Means the Same Thing

How Your Thoughts Are Fooling You

Thinking It Over

CHAPTER 5: Putting Out Fires with Gasoline, and the Rule of Opposites

Is It You, or Your Methods?

Counterintuitive Problems

Attitudes about Thoughts

Why Can’t You Just Control Your Thoughts?

What Do We Really Control?

Thinking: It’s Just What the Brain Does

Rules of Life

The Rule of Opposites

How Can We Protect Against Danger?

Thinking It Over

Chapter 6: The Mad Libs of Anxiety: Catch the Worries Before They Catch You

What Are a Worrier’s Two Most Over-Used Words?

Diagram the Worry Sentence

Worrying About “What If?” Is Like a Game

How Worry Baits You

Count Your Worries

The “Why?” Question

Better Questions

Thinking It Over

Chapter 7: Thinking About Thoughts

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Anxiety

Identifying Worrisome Thoughts

Changing Behavior

Your Brain Is Not a Computer

Paradoxical Therapy for Anxiety and Worry

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

Defusing “Hot Button” Words

Twists and Turns: How Thoughts Can Affect Behavior

Thinking It Over

Chapter 8: Uncle Argument and Your Relationship with Worry

What’s a Good Relationship with Worry?

It’s Hard to Avoid Arguing

The Opposite of Arguing

Is That Okay with You?

A New Way to Look at Worry

Worry Is Like a Heckler

Are You Being Heckled By Your Own Thoughts?

Humoring the Worry

Become Less Attached to Your Thoughts

The Worry Experiment

Repeating the Worry Usually Reduces Its Power!

Thinking It Over

Chapter 9: AHA! Three Steps for Handling Chronic Worry

Acknowledge and Accept

Humor the Worrisome Thoughts

Do You Worry about Playing with Worries?

Activity—Resume Doing Things That Are Important to You (and Take the Worries with You If Necessary)

Take Your Worries for a Walk

Thinking It Over

Chapter 10: Your Daily Worry Workout

Responding to Intermittent Worry

Set Up Appointments for Worrying

Watching Yourself Worry

Why Would Anyone Do This?

Common Reactions to Worry Appointments

Breathing and Worry

Build the Habit

How Much Is Enough?

It’s Not a Silver Bullet!

Mindfulness Meditation

Get in the Habit

Thinking It Over

Chapter 11: The Worry Parasite

How a Parasite Takes Over a Snail

How Worry Takes Over Your Life

The Parasitic Effects of Worrying

This Invasion Began with Certain Beliefs

It helps if I expect the worst.

My worry can influence future events.

If something bad happens and I hadn’t worried about it, I’ll feel guilty.

Worry shows I care.

Thoughts are always important.

I am responsible for my thoughts.

What Beliefs Do You Hold About Your Thoughts?

Thinking It Over

CHAPTER 12: Breaking the Secrecy Trap

Are You Keeping Your Worries to Yourself?

Keeping Secrets

Secrecy and Shame

Planning Self-Disclosure

Guidelines to Give Your Support People

Getting Support From Another Key Person

Thinking It Over

Chapter 13: Specialized Worries: Sleep and Illness

Worries About Sleep

Sleep: Let it Happen, or Make it Happen?

Setting Up Your Bedroom for Restful Sleep

Creating a Before-Bed Routine

Worry About Sleep is Just…Worry

Worry on Awakening

Worries about Illness

Too Much of a Good Thing

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

Doubting Your Doctor and Taking the Bait

Wanting 100 Percent Certainty

Why Do I Do This to Myself?

Avoiding a Good Thing

White-Coat Syndrome

Worry About Illness Is Just…Worry

Don’t Hide Your Worry!

Thinking It Over

Chapter 14: Closing Thoughts: There’s Something Funny About Worry…

Notes