Eight

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The next day Seth bounded into my room while I was changing after school.

“Hey!” I yelped.

He spun around quickly and faced the wall, laughing. “Relax, T, you’re my sister. I don’t want to see it either.”

I quickly pulled on my T-shirt before throwing my discarded hoodie at his head. He took it as his cue to turn around. He had already changed; the weather was getting warmer and we were both in shorts for the first time that year.

“Okay, what’s up?” I asked. Seth frequently forgot to knock when he was excited.

“I got some more numbers from Olivia.”

“Oh.” I dropped onto the bed, feeling suddenly weak. “I thought she said not to get our hopes up.”

“She said that López is a common name, but she’s got a contact at the ministry who’s cross-referencing to make sure these guys were in Canada the year we were born.”

I frowned. “Sounds like a lot of work.”

Seth shrugged. “Olivia’s grateful that we saved Horace. She also said that indirectly, we also helped Tom, because he might not have gotten treatment otherwise.”

He sat next to me and showed me the list. They were all Alfonso López, of course. One name had only an email address, one was in Vancouver, and one in Montreal. The sight of the latter city made my eyes go wide.

“Montreal,” I murmured. My mom had loved that city and had visited it frequently before we were born, as well as a few times when we were kids. My eyes met Seth’s. “What if-”

He nodded, his face stiff. We’d been told our whole lives that our father lived in another country — we didn’t know which — but what if that wasn’t true? What if our father had been a few hours away from us this whole time?

I swallowed. “Should we just get it over with?”

He nodded, looking about as scared as I felt.

I pulled out my phone. After our close call last time I didn’t want to chance using the house phone.

I dialed the Montreal number and waited, my heart racing much faster than it should. After four rings it went to voicemail; the message was in French and I couldn’t understand it all, but I did catch the name “Alfonso”. I disconnected quickly.

“Voicemail,” I said to Seth.

“Why didn’t you leave a message?”

“I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking straight.” A statement that could apply to this whole crazy venture.

We decided to tackle the other two first. Seth emailed the first contact, and I handed him my phone for the second. “Your turn to suffer a bit.”

Seth looked panicked when someone picked up, and he stammered through an explanation. He winced and held the phone away from his ear before slowly pressing the ‘end’ button. He dropped the phone on the bed before dropping his head into his hands, his elbows resting on his knees.

“He says it’s not him. He wasn’t very nice about it, either.”

I rubbed his shoulder soothingly. “It’s okay, Moo. We’ll keep trying.”

Despite my reassurance, I was beginning to feel doubtful. Suppose we found our real father and he wanted nothing to do with us? Even more complicated, what if he did? What if he wanted to be a big part of our lives from now on? How would that affect our relationship with the Fosters, who were the only family we knew?

I didn’t know what to think anymore, so that night I did what I always did when I was confused — I went online to do some research. I was shocked at how much information came up from a simple search for ‘meeting birth parent’. Obviously what Seth and I were going through was fairly common. From the nature of the posts I read, it was also apparent that this could be a very emotional journey. Some of the stories were heartwarming, but there were also plenty of bittersweet experiences, and enough sad endings to give me pause.

One woman wrote about finding the birth mother she’d dreamed of her whole life, only to have her turn into an obsessed and depressive stalker. A harsh-sounding man described finding his natural father only to have the latter constantly ask him for favors and money. And some simply wanted nothing to do with the offspring they’d left behind, which, in a way, seemed the worst of all.

I hadn’t gotten around to telling Jaden about my search. I hadn’t wanted to burden him when he was dealing with his mother’s illness, but the time had come. Not only did I need someone to talk to, but I was afraid he’d be hurt if I didn’t tell him soon.

He was spending more time at our place since he was done with school for the year and the polo season had begun. I found him in the barn the following day after school. He was grooming Kermit and as usual when Jaden was present, the aisle was mysteriously busy with people. I went to Kermit’s head and rubbed the spot under his chin that I knew he loved. He raised his nose and closed his eyes, looking like the picture of utter equine contentment.

I could see Jaden struggling to contain comments about my effect on his horse. He grinned at me, speaking his thoughts clearly with his eyes.

“Do you want to come on a trail ride with me?” I asked.

“Do I ever.”

“I’m afraid you can’t right now.” Dec’s voice was terse.

I spun around, startling Kermit, to find Dec standing with hands on hips before me. He gave me a look that promised I’d be dealt with later, then scowled at Jaden who, to my surprise, bowed his head.

“Who are you riding, Sis?” Seth called from down the aisle. “Teri’s almost ready.” He ambled up to us. “Do you want to come on a trail with us?” he asked Dec.

“No, I don’t have time,” Dec said, clearly startled. He looked at me. “So you’re all going then?”

“Yes, all four of us. If that’s okay,” I said innocently.

Dec took a quick look around. No one else seemed to be paying attention. “All right. Make sure you come back together,” he said in a low voice, making it clear he wasn’t fooled.

Seth and Jaden silently bumped fists before we all got ready.

“All this cloak-and-dagger stuff is getting old,” I complained once we were underway.

“You can’t blame Dec,” Jaden said. “We weren’t being discreet.”

“At least it’s a beautiful day,” Teri said. She was right, thankfully, since she and Seth had had no plans for a trail until Seth came to my aid. The day was warm for early May, the sky so blue it looked like something out of Disney, the greens so fresh I could almost taste them. I breathed in the moist, earthy smell of the forest awakening. I was riding Piba, and I stroked her chestnut neck fondly as we walked. We were lucky to live in southwest Ontario; its landscape of gently rolling hills covered by alternating fields and woods made for beautiful country to ride in.

Teri rode her pony alongside me. “I guess Dec’s still not in love with the idea of you and Jaden being together?” she said.

“Not exactly. He’s resigned to it, though — it’s the rest of the family that’s still hoping to keep us apart, especially Jaden’s mom.” I stole a glance at Jaden. He and Seth were walking their horses side by side in front of us and didn’t seem to be listening. “His mom has cancer, and we don’t want to do anything to upset her right now.” I hesitated. “And I don’t want to make Dec mad, either, because Seth and I have something else going on.”

I was suddenly desperate to share our news. I halted Piba and hailed the guys; they turned their horses around to face us. Luckily Piba, Kermit, Winter and Picasso all got along, and they stood patiently with their noses together.

Teri was waiting curiously, but it was Jaden’s honey-and-chocolate eyes I looked into when I spoke.

“We found out the name of our real father, and we’ve started looking for him.” I probably could have led up to that a bit more, I thought as soon as the words were out. I heard Teri’s exclamation but kept my eyes on Jaden.

Surprise registered on his face and was slowly replaced by a smile. “That’s wonderful,” he said quietly.

“Is it?” I said uncertainly.

He rode forward until he was next to me. “Of course it is. You’ve always wanted to know.” He put his hand on the side of my neck and leaned down to brush his lips against mine.

I turned to Seth, smiling. For some reason, I felt much lighter now that we’d told someone.

“So give us the scoop!” Teri said excitedly. “Who is he, where is he, and all that?”

“That’s what we’d like to know, too.” Seth explained our search so far.

“What does Dec think of all this?” Jaden asked. His hand found mine and I looked at his strong, capable fingers while I spoke.

“We haven’t told him yet.”

“You know Dec,” Seth added. “It’s all strictly need-to-know with him. Besides, at the rate we’re going we’ll be forty before we find this dude.”

We used our renewed enthusiasm to call the Montreal Alfonso again that night. I planned ahead this time, thinking through what I’d say if I had to leave a message, but someone answered on the first ring, startling me.

“Um, is this Alfonso López?” My heart was clattering against my ribs.

“Yes, this is he.” He had a pleasant voice and a strong French accent.

“My name is Téa Everson. I wondered whether you knew a woman named Elina Everson?”

“No, I don’t know this woman. You are looking for her?”

“Well, no, actually, I’m looking for... for my father. His name is Alfonso López.” I cringed, bracing myself for his reaction.

There was a pause. “And you think I am this man? How old are you, ma chère? And what does your mother look like?” he asked gently.

My heart was beating so hard now that it actually hurt. I stared at Seth, vaguely aware of tears spilling onto my cheeks. It wasn’t from excitement that we might have found our father; it was more this man’s unexpected kindness that touched me. He called me ‘ma chère’ — my dear — and he obviously wanted to help us.

I swallowed hard. “I’m eighteen. My mother was tall and blond and beautiful. She had cornflower blue eyes and she liked everyone.”

“I would certainly remember a woman like that, but no, I am afraid I do not. You say ‘was’... are you not with your mother?” The concern in the voice of this complete stranger made a sob catch in my throat.

I struggled to control myself, but my voice was hoarse when I answered. “No, my mom passed away.”

“Ah, pauvre petite.” Poor little one. I remembered enough French to understand. “I wish you good luck in your search, ma chère.”

Alfonso said goodbye quietly and hung up, and I gave in to my sobs. Seth put his arms around me and patted my back.

“What’s wrong?” he said worriedly. “Was he mean?”

“No,” I hiccupped against him. “He was nice. I wanted it to be him. I want to hear my father call me ‘my dear’.”

Seth didn’t say anything. His arms tightened around me, and a hot tear landed on my shoulder.

* * *

I was glad for some upcoming horse shows to take my mind off the search. I was expecting big things this season, especially from Hades who, despite Dec’s prejudice, was phenomenally talented. I was convinced that if I could just persuade him to settle down and gather together his enormous body, we’d be winning everything in sight. And I felt incredibly fortunate that while I worked on training Hades I also had Marty to ride, since he was already a winner. I’d started competing on the smallish dark bay Thoroughbred the previous year, and I was excited about the first big show of the year. Until I spoke to Dec, that is.

“I don’t want you missing school so close to graduation,” Dec said when I told him of my plans.

“But Dec, I’d only miss two days,” I protested, “and I’m taking two horses.” I was a lot more concerned about missing a weekend with Jaden since I didn’t see nearly enough of him during the school year.

“I’ve got you covered in the barn,” Seth assured me. He always picked up the slack when I was competing, so his statement was for Dec’s benefit — a reminder that work would still get done in my absence.

Dec shot Seth a frustrated look before turning to me. “You’ve got the rest of your life to ride jumpers, Téa, but less than two months to finish high school.”

In the end, my coach Karen talked him into it, by promising she’d make me study during every free minute. She didn’t mention that I’d be on my own on Sunday because she had a wedding to attend, but it seemed a minor omission, and I only had one class that day. I studied during the drive on Friday; the show was in St-Lazare, Quebec, almost seven hours in Karen’s car. The showgrounds were on a huge, flat, grassy field, now adorned with tents for the temporary stabling, and as I walked around to stretch my legs I contentedly drew a deep lungful of the fresh evening air.

Saturday went well; although Hades was rambunctious in his only class, he still placed fourth. I was concerned about Marty, though. He was owned by a wealthy actor who had insisted Marty move up a level this year, and I felt as though the bigger courses were at the limit of what Marty could handle.

That night was spent busily packing since we had to check out of the motel early in the morning.

“I wouldn’t leave an ‘A’ show for anything less than my kid sister’s wedding,” Karen said as she zipped up her suitcase. “Will you be all right on your own tomorrow?”

I looked over at her from where I was hastily stuffing clothes into my bag. “Yeah.”

I still harbored doubts about Marty, and it must have shown because Karen smiled reassuringly at me. “Just do your best, and if he’s overfaced we’ll talk to Blake together when we get home.”

* * *

The next morning Karen dropped me off early at the showgrounds. Her groom went with her, so I had to do everything myself and was too busy to worry until I was warming up for Marty’s class. It was a perfect mid-May day, the sky an untroubled blue, and I tried to mirror its calm so that I wouldn’t transfer any of my nerves to Marty.

We walked quietly into the ring, but as we picked up a canter I felt him tense, and as we lined up the first fence I knew the anxiety coursing through me wasn’t my own. He cleared the first vertical well enough, and I worked on building his momentum as we rounded the corner to the next line. Marty’s anxiety was growing, but he jumped the first element, grunting a bit with the effort, and I kept my legs strong on his sides to keep him moving forward for the three strides to the oxer. Flashes of fear went through him, and I felt them clearly — somehow I was more attuned to his feelings than usual, or maybe it was because Marty was feeling things intensely. I felt his hesitation, but also his trust in me. He made a huge effort and rounded himself over the oxer; I heard one of his back hooves knock a pole but it stayed up.

As we reached the next corner I caught the full blast of Marty’s swirling mess of conflicting emotions, and running through it all, the golden thread of his trust. It was too much for me. I pulled up and nodded to the judge to signal her that I was withdrawing, and then walked Marty out of the ring while stroking his neck over and over. He had tried his heart out for me, and I wouldn’t betray his trust by asking him to do something that he couldn’t safely do. Because Marty didn’t care about money, and he didn’t understand about winning. He liked to jump, but he did it because I asked him to. And I wasn’t about to ask him to hurt himself.

Marty’s owner was waiting at the gate, practically hopping with rage. “Why the hell did you stop? He was doing great!” Blake’s face was purple and cords stood out in his neck, a far cry from his usual preened appearance.

I looked down at Marty’s sweaty neck. “He was afraid, and if we’d kept going I thought he might get hurt.”

“I think you’re the one who’s afraid,” Blake said, loudly enough for several people to turn their heads. “You shouldn’t blame the horse just because you’re not up to riding at this level. I’ll find someone who isn’t scared to ride him.”

I walked Marty back to the temporary stabling, not bothering to answer Blake, who nevertheless trailed behind me reciting a litany of my shortcomings for all to hear. As I was untacking he finally stomped off, still in a huff. Eastwood was a big show, and with hundreds of people standing nearby, I knew that word of our little spectacle would travel at the speed of sound.

“Wow, that guy’s some piece of work, huh?” My friend Alex strolled up, grinning.

I just shook my head, not wanting to show how near I was to tears. I started hosing Marty down, and Alex drew nearer.

“Hey,” he said softly, “don’t mind him. He’s an idiot.”

“Yeah, an idiot who’s going to find a new rider for his horse,” I said thickly.

Alex put his arm around me and gave me a bracing squeeze, but he didn’t say anything. There wasn’t much to say since we both knew it was the truth. Alex was a fellow jumper rider; he knew how things were.

After I finished drying and grooming Marty I hung out in his stall for a while, not being in a hurry to show my face after Blake’s performance. A rider I knew vaguely from back home found me there.

“Hi Téa,” she said, looking uncomfortable.

I sighed. I suspected I’d be seeing a lot of that expression for the next little while.

“Hi.” I forced a smile.

“Um, this may not be the best time to tell you, but Katie had to leave. She got sick so they checked out early. She asked me to tell you.”

Great. Katie was the friend I had planned to bunk with that night, so now I also had to find a place to stay, even though all I wanted to do was go home. But my ride home was the truck that was taking the horses the next day. I wondered if I could even find a motel room, as they were usually packed to overflowing during the show. I didn’t have much money left and didn’t relish the thought of calling Dec to ask him for some, because he was already grumpy enough about me missing school and work at home. I trudged off to find some motel numbers. I was keeping my head down, so I jumped a little when I felt a hand on my arm.

“There’s no need to do the walk of shame, you know.” Alex’s hazel eyes twinkled. “I would’ve kicked your butt in that class anyway.”

I didn’t have to force a smile this time. “You just keep telling yourself that.”

He kept pace with me as I told him of my new dilemma.

“That’s no problem, you can stay with us,” he said easily.

I stopped and looked at him. Alex and I had been hanging out at shows for years, but we weren’t close friends. He was invariably nice, though, and I felt a rush of gratitude toward him. While some riders were probably already lining up for Marty, Alex was squarely on my side.

“Are you sure your mom won’t mind?” I asked. Alex’s mom traveled to all the shows with him and managed all aspects of his riding career.

“Absolutely.”

He linked his arm through mine and led me to get my stuff. I could feel eyes on us as we walked — I knew that Alex had his share of admirers. As a straight guy in a predominantly female sport, he would have been popular regardless of looks, but with his lithe build, full lips and shy smile, he was attractive to boot.

Alex’s mom was very welcoming, and after feeding the horses we went out for dinner together. His mom spent much of her time busily keying on her smartphone, arranging entries for upcoming shows.

“Okay, I fixed the mix-up with the stabling at Blainville,” she said finally. “And you’re entered at Bromont. I hope Moose likes the footing better this year.”

Something very akin to envy suddenly gripped me, and I bent my head and busied myself with my plate. I tried to imagine what my life would be like if I had a supportive parent who didn’t just tolerate my love for this sport, but actively helped me. Who arranged show entries and accommodations and travel plans... all the stuff I did myself, in between working in the barn and going to school. Yet I was competing against people like Alex, who did nothing but ride full-time and consequently got better and better. I took a breath and reminded myself to be happy for Alex; he was a good guy and certainly deserved his luck. And in any case, I wouldn’t trade my life for anything, because mine included Jaden. I looked up with a smile on my face.

The next morning I got Marty and Hades ready for the long drive home. Once we were underway I texted Jaden and Seth to let them know and settled in for some serious brooding. I didn’t regret my decision, but there was no question that this was a big setback to my dreams. Campaigning only one horse was risky; horses can get injured or sick, and a rider with only one mount was less likely to be on the Olympic team. Of course, I was a long way from there yet, but that was my ultimate goal, though I rarely spoke of it. On top of the time, talent and perseverance that every Olympic discipline requires, the equestrian sports also demand large amounts of money. Which I didn’t have. Which meant that either I had to suck it up and learn to deal with ignorant owners, possibly compromising my ethics, or else I should be honing my bank-robbery skills. I was mildly alarmed to find myself contemplating money-making crimes and instead turned my thoughts to home. More specifically, to Jaden. He’d texted to let me know he’d be waiting, although given Dec’s current mood he wouldn’t be staying the night. The thought of his strong, warm embrace was about the only thing keeping me from breaking down in the truck.

When we finally arrived I crawled stiffly out of the back seat and stretched. Jaden and Dec came out of the barn together, and I repressed my impulse to run to Jaden. When we were hidden on the far side of the truck he hugged me briefly, and I felt my worries begin to melt.

“Welcome home,” he murmured.

I smiled at him, wondering at the crease in his brow. I hadn’t told anyone at home about Marty yet; I knew they’d have questions and it seemed pointless to worry them until we could discuss it. But Jaden already seemed worried.

“Is everything okay?” I asked as we carried in my tack trunk together. Before he could answer, Seth descended on me and grabbed the trunk handle away.

“Hey shorty! How was the show? Damn it’s quiet around here when you’re gone.” He ruffled my hair and smiled before following Jaden. I was left standing alone, feeling oddly disquieted at the contrast in the greetings I’d just received.

When everything was put away we gathered in the kitchen. It was past dinner time, which I’d skipped in the truck, but we got drinks and I broke the news about Marty. Seth and Jaden were sympathetic, but Dec looked worried.

“Do you think he’ll be moving out?” he asked.

“I really don’t know,” I said quietly, my eyes on the tabletop.

That we might lose a boarder because of my decision was one of the things I’d worried about during the drive. I looked up; Dec was giving me a calculating sort of look, but Jaden wasn’t looking at me at all.

After the others left Jaden glanced at me. “Come with me.”

I wasn’t surprised since I knew by this point that something was wrong. He didn’t say anything as we headed toward the barn, but I could feel tension coming off him in waves. As soon as we’d climbed to the hayloft he turned and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you spent the night with Alex?” he demanded.

I spent a minute just staring at him, dumbfounded, before I found my voice again.

“I didn’t spend the night ‘with Alex’. I didn’t have a place to stay so he offered to let me crash in the trailer. With him and his mother. And how do you even know?” I added as an afterthought.

“I didn’t realize it was a secret,” he said acidly.

“It’s not! It’s just... no big deal,” I protested.

“Not telling me that you’re spending the night in the company of another man is a big deal to me,” Jaden said. Both his face and voice were grim.

“I had other things on my mind! I’d just lost my mount, I was humiliated at the show, I had no place to sleep — it wasn’t exactly my best day ever!”

He nodded rigidly. “You have a terrible day and you don’t even want to tell me about it? You couldn’t manage to find five seconds to text me?”

I shrugged irritably. “You know I’m no good at talking when I’m upset.” Like now.

“Yet you spoke to Alex, presumably.” The flat, hard pitch of his voice made me quail.

“I can’t believe you’re acting like this.” I’d barely slept the night before, and the events of the last twenty-four hours suddenly came crashing down on me. I hung my head, feeling tears sting my lids. I heard Jaden make a sound of frustration and move away. When I was fairly sure I wasn’t going to cry I looked up to find him sitting on a bale, cradling his head in his hands. I hesitated, then walked over and stood between his knees. He pulled me down onto his leg.

“For what it’s worth, I realize that this was innocent on your part.” He sighed.

I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his shoulder. I could feel some of the tension drain out of his body now that we were touching.

“Yes, it was. So why does it bother you so much?”

“Why? Mi amor, I’ve seen how you look at Sharleen.” An amused light came into his eye, and his mouth was tugging up at one corner.

“I...but...” I paused, flustered. I hadn’t known that Jaden was aware of how Mateo’s groom looked at him, much less that he knew how I felt about it.

“That’s different,” I said finally. “She so obviously undresses you with her eyes. It’s not decent.”

“And men do the same to you,” he growled. His hand slid up my thigh as he spoke, and a shiver passed through my entire body. Maybe it was the suddenness of the movement, or maybe it was my tiredness, but the shivering didn’t entirely stop. His hand remained on my leg, not moving now. He looked me in the eye.

“No more staying with Alex.” It was plainly not a request.

I was having a hard time concentrating, but somewhere in the back of my head I knew I wasn’t happy with that edict.

“What am I supposed to say if he offers again?” I asked eventually. “‘Jaden won’t let me’?”

He gave a wolfish grin. “Yes, send him to me next time. I don’t mind explaining at all.”

I wanted to roll my eyes, but the warmth of his hand on my thigh was very distracting.

“This is duress, you know,” I complained weakly. My breathing seemed to be uneven — how had that happened?

“No,” he disagreed, his voice low in my ear, “this would be duress...”

His lips found mine as his hand twined into my hair, while the hand on my leg resumed its travels up and down my thigh, making my heart rate spike dangerously. The kissing alone would have been enough to make my resistance crumble, but after a few seconds of this, I was afraid I would agree to anything he asked of me. It was pathetic, really.

“No more,” he murmured against my lips. He kissed me again, harder this time. “Sleepovers with boys,” he finished in a whisper.

“Okay,” I gasped. I really didn’t know when I’d become such a pushover.

When I talked to Seth about it the next day I was surprised to find him sympathetic to Jaden.

“But you know it’s not like that with Alex,” I protested.

“For you.” Seth shrugged. “But he’s a guy.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning that every guy thinks about sleeping with his female friends. It doesn’t mean he’ll act on it, but the thought’s there. Jaden knows that.”

I pondered that bit of news as I cleaned the tack I’d brought to the show. “So how does Julia deal with all the girls around you?”

“Just how you’d think.” He laughed. “She’s all but bought blinders for me.”

* * *

Marty’s owner moved him out shortly afterward. I was relieved that I wouldn’t have to watch anyone else ride him, but I was going to miss the little Thoroughbred and his saucy ways.

That same week we got responses to our school applications. I’d been accepted at Guelph University, my first choice in part because it was a forty-five-minute drive away. Probably an hour in winter. But Seth had gotten into McMaster, which was in Hamilton — an hour in the opposite direction. It was the first time in our lives we’d be going to separate schools, and we exchanged a long, anxious look at the news. Seth had wanted to apply to Social Sciences, but Dec had torpedoed that idea by saying he’d never get a decent job, so Seth was doing a year of general studies to try to boost his math grades. Dec reasoned that if Seth wanted to be a mechanic, then mechanical engineering was a logical choice. I’m not sure Seth saw it that way, though.

Dec used to always call Seth ‘Tiger’ when we were kids, although you could hardly find a less aggressive child. It used to annoy the heck out of me, as though he was trying so hard to impose his view of what Seth should be like that he effectively changed his name. Dec always wanted Seth to be tougher, more assertive, but it just wasn’t in his nature. I used to wonder why someone would have a child only to spend all their time trying to change him. But then, Dec hadn’t chosen to have us. We were the price tag for having my mother, the superfluous accessories that came as part of the package. But I wished, then and now, that Dec could appreciate Seth for his sweetness, his humor, and his kindness.

* * *

My friends were all abuzz about another big event: prom. And they were all upset, to varying degrees, that I wasn’t going.

“I can’t believe you’re making me go on my own.” Teri pouted in the hallway at school one day. Teri was a very undemanding friend, but she’d broken up with her boyfriend Rob not long before and naturally wanted some moral support.

“You know Kabir’s gonna be totally bummed,” Seth added, grinning. Seth’s best friend probably wanted an excuse to get in a last dance with me, now that he knew his crush would be forever unrequited.

I closed my locker and turned around. “Sorry, guys. The Summer Classic’s that weekend, and Dec won’t let me go back to Quebec until school’s done so I’m missing two big shows there. I’m not missing the Classic too. Anyway, I don’t care about prom.”

It went deeper than that; I hadn’t really enjoyed my time in high school. All my life, I’d been a bit of a misfit. First I was the kid with no father, not even one she saw on weekends. Then, when we’d moved to the farm, I’d been the new kid at a school that saw few new faces. I worked hard at home and so couldn’t participate in school sports or extra-curricular activities. Then my mom died... and then Blaze. Kids started avoiding me as though the miasma of misfortune surrounding me was somehow catching. With the right kind of looks and personality I could have overcome those obstacles — Seth had, after all. But my only distinguishing characteristic was a propensity for putting my foot in my mouth, so I was regarded largely as an oddity. It didn’t bother me much, but I was looking forward to moving on.

To my surprise, Jaden was equally upset about my plans to skip prom. I wouldn’t have asked him to go; when I recalled the glitzy New Year’s Eve bash he had taken me to I would have been embarrassed to reciprocate with a high school dance, even if it was prom. But Jaden thought differently.

“You’re really going to let her miss her own prom?” he asked Dec.

Dec gave a careless half-shrug. “There’ll be other graduations. University, now, that one’s far more important. And after that, graduate school.”

I felt the familiar sear of resentment inside me at his assumptions. My path was so clearly marked out for me.

Since the polo season started Jaden had — slowly and carefully — begun spending more time at our place. Dec’s discomfort with our relationship was overshadowed by his enjoyment of his favorite nephew’s company, and for our part, Jaden and I were careful to show no overt signs of affection.

After doing the bedtime check of the barn that night Jaden pulled me past the house and into the trees. It was a nice night, and once we were hidden from view he leaned against a tall elm and pulled me to him. I fitted my body against his and filled my lungs with his ambrosial scent.

“Are you really certain you want to miss your prom?” he murmured after a minute. “It’s your last chance to celebrate with your friends.”

I thought about it before answering, wanting to explain it right.

“My real friends will endure beyond high school. As for those other kids, I don’t have anything in common with them. I mean, girls who get mad because their mom read their diary? I wish I had a mom around to invade my privacy. Kids who complain when their parents won’t buy them a new phone, or whose major worry in life is who they’ll go to the dance with... that’s just so far from my world.”

Jaden caressed my hair silently. I looked up to find his face creased with worry.

I smiled at him, trying to dispel his mood. “It doesn’t matter to me, honestly. It would have been nice to show you off, though,” I joked.

He considered me for a minute. “We don’t need prom for that. What time do you have lunch?”

Jaden showed up at lunchtime the next day. He was wearing dark shades and a tight black T-shirt that almost did justice to his ripped body. He strolled casually through a sea of gaping faces in the cafeteria before stopping next to my table.

“I’ve got a picnic in the car if you’d care to join me.”

Teri waved me away, smiling hugely, and I grabbed my unopened lunch and stood up. Jaden leaned down and kissed me lazily before taking my bag from me. The prickling of hundreds of eyes made me blush furiously as we walked through the cafeteria, his arm wrapped around me. When the outside air had cooled my face I grinned up at him.

“Well, that should keep the rumor mill working for a while.”

It was a better high school finale than prom could ever be.