“Holy shit.” Ana sped down the on-ramp back onto the highway. Pickles sat on her lap, his nose snuggled underneath a tiny paw.
“No kidding,” Emily said. “Okay, this restaurant looks like it’s about thirty miles away from the Steins’ place.” She had taken Liz’s phone back from Brandon, who was currently lying down across the backseat practically hyperventilating. As Emily tapped at the screen of Liz’s phone with her thumbs, she kept trying to talk Brandon down. “Brandon? You still with us? Need us to find you a paper bag to breathe into?”
“You’re totally loca,” Ana said. “I can’t believe you pulled that off!”
“It was all Brandon.” Emily leaned back over the seat and patted Brandon’s arm. “Hey, mister. You okay?”
Brandon took a deep breath and sat up. “No, I am not okay. We are so dead.”
“I agree it’s not ideal,” said Emily, “but thanks to you, we may survive.”
“Thanks to me?” Brandon yelped. “I looked like a complete moron in there. I totally almost got us killed.”
“Um, no. Actually, you totally saved my ass in there,” said Emily. “I mean, that moment with Liz’s phone? Brilliant. I didn’t even know you had it on you. I was totally stuck.”
“That doesn’t solve the problem that he knows we’re not Liz and Chestnut,” Brandon said.
“Nah,” said Emily. “I think he was testing us. I think he might have suspected something when he saw how young we are, but we pulled it off.”
“How can you be sure?” Brandon asked.
Ana laughed. “Well, you do have a suitcase of cocaine in the backseat.”
“Which probably means you shouldn’t be driving like a maniac,” Emily said. “And here.” She reached over and plucked Pickles out of Ana’s lap, snuggling him onto her own. “I think Pickles can stay with me for a while so you can stay focused on the matter at hand, a.k.a. driving.”
“Oh wow. Right.” Ana let her foot off the gas a bit. “I guess I was driving pretty fast. So, does this mean we’re not throwing the cocaine in a river or flushing it down a toilet?”
“NO!” Emily and Brandon both shouted at the same time.
“Jeez, okay, okay. You don’t have to yell at me,” Ana said.
“Sorry.” Emily reached out and touched her friend’s arm. “We’re a little bit . . . on edge.”
“Scarier then you thought, huh?” said Ana.
“Yeah, just a touch.”
“So, what is the plan now?” Brandon asked.
“We’re going to Balducci’s to get this giant amount of cocaine that could land us in a federal penitentiary for the rest of our lives out of my car.” She wasn’t really sure when she’d decided that this was the new plan, maybe sometime between leaving the office and leaving the warehouse, but dumping the cocaine suddenly seemed like a bad idea. Like it could easily backfire if someone saw them, or caught them, trying to dispose of an entire suitcase. Not to mention what Big Dog might do if he had more information about them, the real them, than they thought.
“But then we’re going to have thousands of dollars in a bag or suitcase or whatever in the car, and a bloodthirsty gangster on our tail.”
“Not if we take him the money,” said Emily.
“Wait, but I thought you were the one who was all about taking these drugs out of circulation,” said Brandon.
“Yeah,” Ana chimed in. “What happened to being all Robin Hood and stuff?”
“Actually, Robin Hood robbed from the rich to give to the poor, so I’m not sure that analogy really makes much sense,” Emily said.
Ana just blinked with confusion.
Emily sighed. “All I’m saying is that we can’t keep a suitcase full of cocaine in the car. I mean, what else can we do? It’s not like we have a place to dump it along the way without just tossing it out the car, which could lead to a ton of other problems. And we can’t take it and dump it at the Steins’, because they would get in trouble and everyone would know what we did. And we don’t have anywhere else to sell it, right? And if we even try any of these things, Big Dog and his associates could come after us.
“We’re so dead,” Brandon moaned, thumping his head against the front seat. “So, so dead.”
“Brandon! Please!” Emily yelled. “I need you to pull it together. You were a rock star back there. You got Scarface to tell us the plan, even though we should’ve known it already. He even told us the restaurant. We’ve got everything we need because of you. You and Liz’s cell. So pull yourself together!”
Brandon stopped banging his head on the seat.
“Thank you. Now, like I said, it’s not like we’re going to sell the drugs ourselves. We don’t have anywhere to take them, and even if we did . . . we’re three kids from the suburbs. Big Dog might’ve believed that we’re running transport, but do you think anyone else would believe that we’re selling? And we don’t even know how to sell cocaine. What do you even package it in?”
“Bricks,” Ana said. “Or baggies. At least that’s what happens on CSI.”
“I’m not about to risk my life on a fact from a TV show,” Emily said. “We’re going to take the stuff to the restaurant, get the proper amount of money, bring that back to Big Dog at the warehouse, and then we can each walk away with about $325 in our pockets.”
“Wouldn’t it be more like $333?” Ana asked.
“You think I’m not deducting the gas fee for this?” Emily asked.
Brandon sighed loudly. “Okay, fine. I see your point.”
Emily nodded. “Thank you. Ana?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Ana said. “We’ve started some kind of cartel. I’ve got it.”
“Look, I know this wasn’t the plan,” Emily said. “And I know I’m usually the one shouting about sticking to the plan . . . so I take full responsibility for this detour, and everything we’re going through. That’s why I want to fix it. I know it’s my fault.”
“Huh?” Ana glanced at her. “How is it your fault?”
Emily took a deep breath. “I just wanted to do something different. Something spontaneous. I wanted to stop being the stick-in-the-mud. The one always following the rules. You guys are always telling me “you only live once,” and I wanted to, I don’t know, take that to heart and do something I never would do on a normal day. I wanted to make today special.”
“Getting involved with three thugs and a suitcase of cocaine is your definition of ‘special’?” Brandon asked.
“Remind me not to hire you to set up my next party,” Ana muttered.
“You know what I mean,” Emily said with a sigh. “Anyway, the plan seemed to make a lot more sense before we actually met Big Dog and he served us tea.”
“He served tea?” Ana asked with disbelief.
“No scones, though,” Brandon put in.
“And don’t be fooled,” Emily said. “He might’ve been tiny, and he might’ve served us tea, but I feel like this guy was the real deal. It wasn’t anything he did specifically—he didn’t do much of anything really, but you could totally get the sense that this guy had been places, you know?”
Brandon nodded. “And he had the scar to prove it.”
“Sooo . . . what about Liz and Chestnut, then?” Ana asked after a moment.
“What about them?” Emily asked. “They’ll be able to take care of themselves, right?”
“Well, I was thinking . . . ,” she said slowly. “They’re going to get back to their car eventually, right? And then they’re going to make their way to the warehouse and have a little chat with Super Pup.”
“Big Dog,” Brandon said.
“Whatever. What are we going to do when they get to Big Dog before we get back with the money. Aren’t they all going to assume that we just stole a suitcase of cocaine from them?”
“Damn.” Brandon sank back against the seat. “She’s right. We can’t go back there. We’re not going to make it, and I doubt they’ll believe that this was all a big misunderstanding when we stroll up again.”
Emily took a deep breath, realizing that she’d severely miscalculated. “We’re totally screwed.”