The house Emily pulled up in front of was small, but had a long front porch with a porch swing at one end, and several old wooden rocking chairs at the other. A woman with gray hair pinned up into a French twist opened the front door as Emily pulled into the driveway. She was tall, and Emily quickly noticed that she was wearing bright red high heels, boot-cut jeans, and a leather jacket that looked like it came straight off a Paris runway.
“Are you lost?” the woman called out.
“Blanche!” Artie was out of the car in a second, racing across the front yard before leaping to the woman to give her a hug around her waist.
The woman, Blanche, gave Artie a warm hug in return, then turned to the others with obvious suspicion. “Who are you, and what are you doing with my grandson?”
Emily got out of the car slowly, not really sure how to explain. Ana and Brandon trailed behind her as they approached the house, stopping at the bottom of the porch steps. Emily held out her hand to shake Blanche’s, but the older woman didn’t make any move to reciprocate, so Emily let her hand fall to her side.
“They picked me up,” Artie said. “I was at a pizza place.”
Blanche’s eyes narrowed, then she untwined Artie from around her waist and said, “Go on inside and find Buck. I think he’s down in the basement watching TV.”
Artie nodded and started to go inside, but then stopped and let out a loud whistle. In a second, Pickles was at his feet, hopping around as they both trekked inside. Blanche barely even blinked at the dog.
Once Artie was gone, Emily decided to try again.
“So . . . it’s all kind of a funny story,” she said.
Blanche slipped her hand into her jacket pocket and pulled out a long slender cigarette, which she lit with a sleek silver lighter. She inhaled deeply, and then let the smoke issue slowly from her lips. She took another slow draw, then said, “Let me guess. Artie’s parents somehow roped you into running an errand that resulted in unexpected free babysitting for them, and maybe a bad deal for you.”
“Well . . . not exactly,” Emily said. “I don’t really know how to explain.”
“I’ll do it.” Brandon strolled to the car and quickly pulled out the black suitcase, which he brought back to the porch and dropped next to Blanche unceremoniously. He tugged on the zipper and popped open the bag, revealing stacks and stacks of bills. Hundred-dollar bills.
“Well, would you look at that,” Blanche said slowly, though her facial expression said that she wasn’t all that impressed and had seen much more in her life. “Well.” She took two more long drags on her cigarette, then delicately put it out on an ashtray that rested on the porch railing. “Why don’t you collect that and come on inside. I’ll make coffee.”
Inside, Emily was somewhat surprised to see that the house was fresh, modern, and well put together. Each room had the look of an interior design catalog, with not one item out of place. The kitchen was especially put together, and she, Brandon, and Ana simply stared as Blanche bustled around, getting a fancy, expensive coffee machine brewing before setting out four mugs.
While the coffee machine sizzled and spurted, Blanche moved to the hall and called down to the basement, telling Buck and Artie to come on up to get something to eat.
“I don’t suppose you know whether he had pizza at that parlor?” she asked.
Emily shook her head. “Not sure.”
“Well, then!”
Emily, Brandon, and Ana all jumped when the voice boomed behind them, seeming to shake everything in the room. Emily turned to see a man with a salt-and-pepper beard and black horn-rimmed glasses stroll into the kitchen. He was taller than Brandon, and just as well put together as Blanche, with black slacks, a white shirt, and an unbuttoned vest.
“What’s going on in here?” he asked, giving Emily, Brandon, and Ana a broad smile.
“That’s what we’re in the process of figuring out,” Blanche said. The coffee machine dinged, and she got to work pouring out cups. “Buck, pull that cheese and meat plate out of the fridge.”
Emily frowned at Ana and Brandon when she saw the full-fledged antipasti platter that Buck pulled from the state-of-the-art refrigerator and set on the island counter. It was only a moment before she and her friends were seated on wooden stools, sipping rich, hot coffee, and eating artisan cheeses and cured meats.
“So lay it on me,” Buck said. “What’s going on? What did my crackpot of a son and his wonky wife get into this time?”
Brandon and Ana both looked at Emily, and she sighed. It was just like them to make her the leader of the group now, when everything was about to come to light.
“Well, it was all one big misunderstanding, in a way,” Emily started. She then took a deep breath and went through the whole story, or at least the broad strokes. Eventually she got to the part of their day when they were surprised by Artie’s presence at Balducci’s. “Then he told us about you, and that’s how we ended up here,” she finished.
“I can see how things got out of control,” Blanche said. She’d finished her coffee and was pouring herself, and everyone else, a second cup.
“I do have one question, though,” Buck said from his place at the side of the room, where he was leaning against a wall. “There were lots of opportunities for you to stop along the way. And lots of moments where you made the choice that put you on this crazy path.” He rubbed his chin and straightened his glasses.
“Just . . . in-the-moment decisions,” Emily said slowly, not sure how else to answer.
Buck’s eyes narrowed, and a smirk crossed his face. “Maybe,” he said. “But I think there’s more than that going on here. Don’t you, Blanche?” Blanche laughed. “Oh, c’mon, Buck. It’s written across her face plain as day. All three of ’em got bit bad.”
“Bit?” asked Ana.
“By the crime-spree bug!” boomed Buck. “C’mon now. Didn’t you all feel the thrill of your hearts pounding just a bit when you were pulling the wool over Stanley?”
“Stanley?” asked Brandon.
“Oh, hell, did you really think his name was Big Dog?” Blanche cackled. “That small-time asshole has been trying to build an empire since back when Buck and I were in the capering business.”
“Wait,” said Emily. “You two were . . . ?”
“Criminals?” asked Buck. “Yessiree, Bob. And good ones too. None of this small-time crap that Chestnut goes in for. Trained him better than that.”
“Trained him?” asked Brandon. “You mean you showed him how to rob people?”
“Nah—not people. Banks. After closing time.” Blanche beamed with pride. “We cracked safes.”
“No guns, no drugs,” said Buck.
“And certainly no diners in broad daylight,” sighed Blanche. “That boy’s gonna have to spend a decade in federal prison before he learns his lesson.”
“Should just lock ’em both in the basement,” roared Buck. “Least that way they’d be easier to visit.”
“So you only robbed banks?” asked Ana.
“Yep. Federally insured money. Victimless crime,” said Blanche. “Course that’s all over now.”
“How come?” asked Brandon.
“Well, mainly because we decided to quit while we were ahead,” said Buck. “But also ’cause technology has made it impossible. It’s a rare bank vault that still has an old-fashioned combo lock.”
“And the cameras,” Blanche moaned. “Might as well be Hollywood. They’ve got those buildings wired six ways to Sunday now.”
“But it was fun while it lasted,” said Buck.
“And lucrative,” said Blanche.
“And not half as dangerous as it is now.” Buck nudged the suitcase full of cash with his foot. “So what’s your plan here? What’s the next move?”
Emily shrugged. “Well, since Artie was involved and Big Dog—Stanley, I guess?—is sure to have Ruff and Scrappy after us by now, we were hoping to just get the money back to Chestnut so he could deal with it.”
Ana sighed. Blanche and Buck turned to look at her. Buck started to chortle. “Ah HA! I knew it. There it is.”
“There’s what?” asked Ana, cautiously.
“The real reason you went after those drugs,” said Blanche. “I’d recognize it anywhere.”
“It’s the thrill of giving in to the dark side,” said Buck in a low voice with a big grin.
“Like in Star Wars?” Artie asked.
“Sorta,” said Buck. “Only this is real life. And nothing makes you feel more alive than the thought that you might not be soon. Am I right?”
It was quiet for a moment. Emily stared down at the plate of food and thought about this. Was that really the reason she was in this mess? Just the sheer excitement? The pull of doing something she’d never do otherwise? Is that why she’d suddenly felt compelled to prove that she wasn’t an uptight perfectionist?
“YOLO,” said Brandon, softly. “That’s why we’re in this mess.”
“What?” Blanche asked, her mug inches from her mouth.
“YOLO,” Brandon said again. “It’s an acronym for You Only Live Once.”
“You’re damned right, son,” said Buck. “And if you want to stay alive—”
“And outta prison—” Blanche broke in.
“You gotta be smart about it,” said Buck. “Which, lucky for you, Stanley is not.”
“I don’t think he has to be very smart to send Ruff and Scrappy after us,” said Emily.
Buck shook his head. “And do what? Stanley’s not a killer. Neither are these goons he’s got working for him. Last I heard he was trying to hire minor-league baseball players to work as his muscle.”
“He sure looked like a killer to me,” said Brandon.
“Got that scar tripping down some stairs into a plate-glass window,” said Blanche. “Only thing he’s ever killed was his own prospects.”
Emily was suddenly struck with an idea that would allow them to ditch the money and head straight for the party. “Do you think you could give the money to Chestnut and Liz when they come back for Artie?” she asked.
“Absolutely not.” Buck threw up both hands like she’d pulled a gun on him.
“We’d never hear the end of that,” Blanche sighed. “The last time we tried to get involved in one of his deals, Liz had a meltdown and blamed us when the whole thing went wrong.”
“Threatened to keep us from seeing Artie,” said Buck. “That’s a deal breaker for us.”
Emily smiled. Maybe they had been bad guys once upon a time, and perhaps their parenting skills weren’t so spectacular, but Blanche and Buck sure seemed to have their priorities squared away now. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Shoot,” said Blanche.
“Why’d you two stop? I mean, even with all the technology and cameras in banks now, there must’ve been something you could’ve kept doing.”
“That’s the first rule of living outside the system,” said Buck. “Get out while you’re ahead.”
“We have what we need.” Blanche motioned around her kitchen. “At a certain point, you can’t spend any more money. Besides, every time you set out on a heist, it’s a gamble.” She reached over and ran her hand through Artie’s head. “And some things are just too precious to take a chance on.”
“So what do we do with this suitcase of cash?” Brandon asked.
Buck stroked his beard and thought for a second. “I guess if you really want to give it Chestnut, you could head over to Frank’s.”
“Who’s Frank?” asked Ana.
“Frank’s not a person,” said Buck. “It’s a pool hall.”
Blanche explained that it was Liz’s favorite hangout. “She and Chestnut met there.”
“I thought they met in high school,” said Ana.
“That’s correct,” said Blanche. “They spent most of high school cutting class and hustling pool. Chestnut won a date with Liz by beating her two outta three.”
“Think they’ll be there now?” Emily asked.
“Worth a shot,” said Buck. “That’s usually where they land after their deals get screwed up.” He winked at Emily. “And I think this certainly qualifies in that department.”
Buck and Blanche walked them out to the car, and Artie gave each of them a hug good-bye and kissed Pickles on the head.
“Thanks for the coffee and food,” said Emily.
“And the advice,” said Brandon.
“Thanks for bringing our boy back,” said Blanche. “I may just brain his father next time I see him.”
“Should we send them your way if we see them at Frank’s?” Emily asked.
“Hell no,” roared Buck from the porch with a feisty smile.
As she pulled out of the driveway, Emily saw Buck reach over and slide his arm around Blanche’s waist. He pulled her close and gave her a big kiss. She melted into him and kicked a high heel up behind her like they were on a TV show. Artie was waving as they slipped out of sight, and Emily realized that Blanche and Buck loved each other just the way they were—no changes necessary. It was probably the secret to their success.
Suddenly it was like a light bulb had gone off in her head. Buck and Blanche were happy because they had their own values, and they followed them. They didn’t change for anybody, and while they’d gotten where they are through questionable means, they didn’t become different people while doing it. That’s what made them happy.
Emily knew she just wanted to be happy, with her life and her relationships . . . and maybe that meant staying true to herself and not changing for anyone. Even someone like Kyle.
But the first step to making her life right and getting back on track was to get to that party.