CHAPTER 5
I SHOULD NOT HAVE GOTTEN MOM AND DAD INVOLVED
EDITOR’S NOTE: Ed. Note: FYI, editor is me
Mom and Dad think this chapter is totally unfair and inaccurate.
But Reese and I think it’s COMPLETELY fair and accurate. So I left it in.
But I did write “M.D.U.” (for “Mom Dad Unfair”) next to everything they complained about.
CLAUDIA
If I had it to do over again, I would NOT have called Mom to complain about Reese running for president. Even though it was totally mean and hurtful of him, I should’ve just handled it myself.
Here’s why:
When something bad Ed. Note: bad stuff includes: busted furniture, food left in strange places (see pic), walking through apt. w/dog poop on shoes happens around our apartment, 90% of the time it’s Reese’s fault. And since Mom and Dad work crazy-long hours and don’t have much time to get involved in stuff, when they DO get involved, 100% of the time they yell at Reese first. Ed. Note: M.D.U.
It’s just easier that way. And 90% of the time, it makes total sense.
BUT if you do the math, this means 10% of the time, Reese is getting yelled at for stuff that’s not totally his fault. Ed. Note: M.D.U
It happens often enough that Reese has a major complex about it. So whenever Mom and Dad get mad at him—EVEN when it’s all his fault—Reese gets totally defensive and throws a huge fit about how everybody always blames him for everything, and nobody’s ever on his side, and the whole family’s ganging up on him.
I’m not saying he doesn’t have a point. But he gets way too emotional.
And when he blows up like that, Mom and Dad either A) get three times as mad at him, B) feel totally guilty about getting mad at him in the first place, C) overcompensate by turning around and yelling at ME, or D) all of the above. Ed. Note: M.D.U.
And what happened here was a D).
MOM AND DAD (text messages)
(MOM) Claudia called—Reese running against her for class president
(DAD) OMG CALLING YOU NOW
Can’t talk on phone yelling at Reese Ed. Note: M.D.U. (M says she was “exaggerating” and “not really yelling”)
REESE
Mom called me from work and was like, “Reese, you can’t do this to your sister!”
And I totally went off. I was like, “WHAT ABOUT WHAT SHE’S DOING TO ME? ALL WE WANTED WAS TO PLAY SOCCER ON THE ROOF AND SHE BLEW US OFF AND LAUGHED AT ME AND NOW I HAVE TO PWN HER AND IT’S ALL HER FAULT AND I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE TAKING HER SIDE AND THIS IS TOTALLY UNFAIR!”
CLAUDIA
While Reese was having a meltdown with Mom, Dad called me to get my side of the story.
By then, I’d realized getting Mom involved was a mistake. Because it pretty much guaranteed Reese would go nuts and fight me to the death.
So I told Dad I could handle it myself, and he should tell Mom that ASAP.
MOM AND DAD (text messages)
(DAD) Claudia says it’s fine. Call me
(MOM) Can’t. Still on with Reese. He is playing victim card Ed. Note: M.D.U. (M claims “just kidding”)
REESE
Mom was like, “You can’t run for president! End of story!”
And I was like, “THIS IS SO SKRONKING UNFAIR!!!! YOU ALWAYS TAKE CLAUDIA’S SIDE! THIS WHOLE FAMILY’S AGAINST ME!!!”
Then I called Dad.
CLAUDIA
While Reese was on with Dad, Mom called me again. And she must have been feeling major guilt about yelling at Reese, because she did a complete 180 and started yelling at me instead. Ed. Note: M.D.U. (M claims she was not yelling) (but she was)
It was a lot of drama.
MOM AND DAD (text messages)
(MOM) Srsly cannot believe our kids
Also I am worst parent on earth
Feel terrible I lost my temper
(DAD) Don’t think we can forbid Reese from running
You missed the part where you tell me I am not worst parent on earth
YOU ARE GREAT MOM! And wife! And businesswoman! You can plan my castle onslaught any day Ed. Note: Princess Bride reference (Dad’s favorite movie) (P.S. it is awesome—check it out)
Whatever. Think we should tell Reese he can’t run, then tell Claudia she has to help him w/soccer roof thing
Not sure. What about our new parenting style?
Kind but firm? That’s what I’m doing
Except I forgot the kind part
No the other one. Let them make mistakes
??? That is dumbest thing I ever heard
It was your idea
Not ringing a bell
Hang on let me reread article
Ugh. Fine. But when this blows up in our faces I will blame you Ed. Note: ENTIRE TEXT EXCHANGE = MDU
Ed. Note: (both say they were “just joking around” and “didn’t mean any of it”)