CHAPTER 28
BEST SNOW DAY EVER
CLAUDIA
The rest of the snow day was pretty great. Sophie came over, and we hugged it out. Then we both promised never to fight like that again.
Then we made hot chocolate and watched Thrones of Death. Because Sophie’s parents don’t let her watch it at her place.
Technically, mine don’t, either. But it was a snow day, so I figured the normal rules shouldn’t apply. Ed. Note: NOTE TO MOM/DAD: watching Thrones of Death did NOT scar me for life
After that, we baked some chocolate chip cookies. We’d just taken them out of the oven when Reese came back from sledding with Wyatt and Xander. And because we’d made way more cookies than we could eat, we gave them some.
Reese and his friends were actually fun to hang out with for a change. Or at least they were until Xander put his wet socks on top of the oven next to the cookies.
REESE
Yeah, that was pretty gross. I told him not to do that.
WYATT
Sometimes, it’s annoying being Xander’s friend. He dropped a wet sock right on top of one of my cookies.
XANDER
Y’all were WAY too uptight about dem socks.
But dem cookies doe! BEAST!
CLAUDIA
The best thing about the whole afternoon was that nobody mentioned the election. Personally, I felt like by posting my manifesto, I’d said everything I needed to say. And after a week of obsessing about it 24/7, I just wanted the whole thing to be over.
I think Reese felt the same way.
REESE
The thing about a snow day is, you shouldn’t HAVE to think about stuff like elections. You should just have fun.
Like, at one point when we were sledding, Max Esper called and said we had to have a meeting about the transition. He was all, “Something something agenda, blah blah blah committees.”
And I was like, “Dude, we can have a meeting—but ONLY if it’s on an inner tube going down Cedar Hill.”
And Max wasn’t into that. So no meeting.
CLAUDIA
After Sophie left around dinnertime, I finally went back on ClickChat to see how my manifesto was doing.
It had 37 likes. Which I thought was pretty good, considering I didn’t pay for them. Ed. Note: unlike SOME PEOPLE (Kalisha)
Although 37 votes wasn’t enough to win the election. And some of the likes were from people in other grades. Plus camp friends. And my cousins. And at least one rando. Ed. Note: “rando” = random person who follows you, but you have no idea who they are (might actually be robot) (if they have 0 posts + 2 followers + follow 3,000 people)
So it was hard to tell if the manifesto had changed anybody’s mind. And the comment Athena left under my post did not exactly make me feel great:
CLICKCHAT COMMENTS ON “CLAUDAROO” (AKA CLAUDIA TAPPER) WALL
Parvanana #VoteClaudia 
c_2_the_g V proud to be your running mate
kuypersjens Super!
goddessgurrl Ed. Note: ATHENA THE FEMBOT Good luck not being president, loser
CLAUDIA
Mom and Dad both worked late that night, Ed. Note: (also every other night) and I was already in bed when Mom got home. She came into my room to say goodnight, and I showed her my manifesto. Which she told me was awesome.
Then she gave me a little speech about how proud of me she was, and how much I had going for me brains- and talent-wise, and how no matter what happened in the election, there were a ton of ways I could make a difference in the world, so I shouldn’t sweat it if I lost.
I felt very good about that… until weeks later, when I interviewed Reese for this oral history and found out what Mom told him in HIS going-to-bed speech.
REESE
She was like, “Dude—YOU BETTER BE NICE TO YOUR SISTER if you win. Because this election’s SUPER-important to her, and if she loses, she’ll be CRUSHED. So don’t do any sideline celebrating like when you score a goal in soccer. Or I’ll take away your phone for a month.”
CLAUDIA
I can’t believe it. Mom didn’t think I was going to win! SHE GAVE ME THE “LOSER” SPEECH!!! Ed. Note: Mom horrified at this—says we are “totally misrepresenting” her speeches
REESE
You think YOU got a bad speech? MOM DIDN’T TELL ME I HAVE BRAINS OR TALENT! It’s like she thinks I’m a total slug who just sits around playing video games!
CLAUDIA
You kind of are, though.
REESE
I PLAY SOCCER! THIS FAMILY IS SO UNFAIR!Ed. Note: Reese getting too emotional again
CLAUDIA
Mom wasn’t the only one who didn’t think I could pull it off. Right before I fell asleep, I got a ClickChat message from Akash:
AKASH AND CLAUDIA (ClickChat Direct Messenger)
Just saw yr manifesto. You actually WANT to lose, don’t you?
What do you mean?
What did I tell you about flip-flopping?
All I did was tell the truth. And I feel really, really good about that.
Then I’m happy for you. As long as you realize you’re doomed