Noah stared at Lance Arvani’s name, trying not to be distracted by Maddy’s nearness. He hadn’t liked Arvani much; the guy had come across as arrogant and in-your-face.
But not liking a guy was a far cry from accusing him of being involved with a known drug trafficker like Pietro.
“You don’t remember seeing him at all during the drug bust?” Maddy asked.
He straightened and shook his head. “No, and I’m sure I would have recognized him if he was around.” He gestured to the computer. “Do you mind if I do a little searching for information on him?”
She didn’t hesitate to turn the computer so he could access the keyboard from the chair beside her. “I’d love to see a picture of him.”
“That part is easy.” He found their academy graduation picture. Lance was on the opposite side of where he’d stood, and the image of his own serious yet youthful face made him wince. His father hadn’t come to the ceremony, and neither had any of his siblings. Noah remembered standing there, thinking about how he was going to work hard to make the city a safer place, so that kids like his sister Rose wouldn’t have such easy access to drugs.
He’d been naive, really, to think that one person could have much of an impact.
“Oh, look how handsome you are!” Maddy tapped her finger on his picture. “I bet your parents were so proud.”
“My mom passed away just before Thanksgiving my first year of college, and my dad, well, he wasn’t impressed with my career choice.” Noah didn’t like talking about his family, so he quickly changed the subject. “This guy standing on the end here is Lance Arvani.”
Maddy leaned closer to get a better look. “He doesn’t look familiar,” she said. “Of course, no one looks familiar at this point, right?”
He felt bad for her. Not having a memory, good or bad, had to be difficult. “Speaking of which, did you look in the pictures folder to see if you have any of your family on here?”
“No, I didn’t think of that. I was focused on Pietro.”
Clicking on the photos folder revealed it was empty. He frowned. “That’s weird. You’re very close to your family. It seems odd you don’t have pictures of them on here.”
“Maybe it’s a work computer.”
He glanced over at her. “Yeah, probably. At least you’ll see your brother later today. I’m sure seeing your twin will restore your memory.”
“I hope so,” she agreed. “Back to Arvani, what else can we find out about him?”
Noah took control of the keyboard, searching on Arvani’s name. “His last known address is in a suburb north of Chicago.”
“That doesn’t help much,” she groused.
He tried several other searches using different key phrases, but still nothing came up. He sat back in his seat. “I wonder if Arvani’s working undercover.”
“What makes you think that?”
He glanced at Maddy. “Consider the theory that Arvani was working as an undercover narcotics officer. Maybe he got greedy and turned dirty. Or maybe that’s just his cover, a way to get close to working with Pietro.”
She pursed her lips, considering the angle. “I thought undercover cops didn’t use their real names? If he was known to be a cop, why would anyone from Pietro’s organization trust him?”
“Good point,” he conceded. “Going undercover usually involves a new name and cover story. But there’s always the possibility that Arvani did something, or got caught with product owned by Pietro, so the organization is using that information to blackmail him.”
She turned to face him, her knees pressing against his. “You want him to be a good guy, huh?”
“Not particularly,” he argued. “We weren’t friends or anything. I’m trying to understand why a cop’s name would be linked to Pietro as a known associate.”
“Would help if I could remember,” Maddy said with a glum expression. “I really thought my memory would have returned by now.”
“It will,” he said reassuringly. He reached out to take her small hand in his. “In a few hours we’ll meet up with Matt and I’m convinced he’ll help you to remember.”
She smiled and tilted her head. “Noah, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?”
Personal? His heart thudded against his rib cage with such force, he was surprised the cracked ribs didn’t give way. His mouth was dry, but he managed to return her smile. “Of course not. What do you want to know?”
“Do you have a girlfriend?” The words came out in a breathless rush. “I’m only asking because you’ve been with me all night and I think she’d want to know you’re okay.”
For a moment, his mind flashed back to the last time he saw Gina, how upset she’d been when he’d broken up with her.
How she’d gone out to party, using prescription drugs and alcohol, and had been found unresponsive and ultimately brain-dead.
“No.” He pushed the word past his tight throat. “I don’t have a girlfriend. I’m not good with relationships.”
Her expression turned sympathetic. “Someone hurt you badly, huh?”
“No, you have it all wrong.” He pulled away, leaping to his feet with such force his chair toppled over backward. “I’m the one who hurts them.”
She looked surprised by that, and he could tell she wanted to ask more questions.
Not happening. He needed to go. To get away. “Excuse me,” he said, making a beeline for the connecting door.
He dropped down on the edge of his bed, cradling his head in his hands. The memories of his sister’s death, followed two and a half years later by Gina’s passing, would never go away.
In truth he didn’t want them to. If he’d been a better brother to Rose, a better boyfriend to Gina, maybe things would have turned out differently.
Once Maddy regained her memory, she’d remember how much she didn’t like him. But even if her feelings had softened toward him, it didn’t matter. Better for her to understand that no matter how much he cared about her, there could never be anything but friendship between them.
* * *
Maddy watched with dismay as Noah bolted to his adjoining room. She hated that her lack of memory had caused him pain.
No way did she believe Noah was the type to hurt women, especially not physically. Emotionally? Maybe, she didn’t know him, or remember enough, to say for sure either way.
Yet his claim didn’t make sense when he’d been nothing but kind to her since he’d come to see her in the ER. More than kind. Sweet. Compassionate. Supportive.
Protective.
No, she wasn’t buying it. There had to be more to the story. Unfortunately, Noah had made it clear he wasn’t going to clue her in.
Her back went ramrod straight as a horrible thought hit her. What if Noah was talking about the two of them? That he’d done something to ruin their relationship? After all, from the moment she first saw him, she’d been struck by how handsome he was.
As if he was the type of guy she normally was attracted to. Was it possible they were seeing each other?
No, surely if there had been something more than friendship between them, he would have said something? Her memory was nothing but pea soup anyway. Why not give her a high-level but condensed version of what had transpired between them?
None of it made any sense, so she told herself to focus on the case.
A case she couldn’t remember.
Frustrated tears pricked her eyelids. She quickly blinked them back, refusing to wallow in self-pity. Her headache was better after her brief nap, but staring at the computer screen seemed to make it worse, so she quickly shut it down.
“I’m sorry.”
Noah’s quiet words had her spinning around in surprise. “For what?”
“Walking away like that. It’s something my dad used to do when he got angry and I promised myself I wouldn’t be like that.” Noah stepped across the threshold of their connecting rooms. “Please accept my apology.”
She rose to her feet. “I think I’m the one who should apologize for poking my nose into your personal life. But I want you to know, Noah, I’m here if you want to talk.”
He dropped his gaze as if embarrassed. “Thanks, but we have bigger issues to worry about. If you’re feeling up to it, I’d like to head out and pick up a couple of prepaid phones.”
The thought of heading out into the cold held little appeal. Through the window she could see the sun was shining, but at the truck stop across the street people were bundled up against the cold, their breath steaming in front of their faces. She shivered just thinking about the cold. “Do you really think there’s something within walking distance?”
“I was thinking of calling a taxi. I’d rather use a car service because they’re much cheaper, but I can’t do that without a phone and credit card. Still, it can’t cost too much to get to the nearest big-box store. And if there’s anything else you need, we can get everything in one fell swoop.”
“Are you sure you have enough cash?” He’d purchased a toothbrush and hairbrush for her already, along with the warm fleece she was currently wearing. Offhand, she couldn’t think of anything else she desperately needed. But she understood why he wanted a phone.
“Just enough, but I’ll need more, soon.”
“Sure, I’m glad to go.”
“All right then. Be ready to leave in five.”
She used the time to freshen up in the bathroom, before donning her coat. Maybe if there was enough cash left over, they could pick up a couple of hats, gloves and a nice warm scarf, too.
“Ready?” Noah stood waiting by the door. She noticed he had his uniform back on, including the vest that had saved his life.
“What about the computer and the rest of our things? Isn’t it better to take everything with us, just in case?”
He hesitated, then nodded. “You’re right. In fact, it’s probably better if we don’t come back here at all.”
Leaving the warmth of the motel room for good hadn’t been her intention, but she couldn’t deny that moving from one place to the next was smarter than staying put.
Stuffing their meager items into the computer case and the convenience store bag didn’t take long. She carried the plastic bag, leaving Noah to sling the computer case over his shoulder.
Before they left the room, though, he crossed over and picked up the phone. He dialed a number, then spoke quickly.
“Milwaukee Police Officer Jackson Dellis was murdered at the Racine Marina.” He paused, listening, then said, “No, I’m sorry but I can’t give you my name. Trust me, send a squad to the marina.”
He hung up the phone, capturing her gaze. “I had to call it in,” he said defensively. “I waited till now, so that we’ll be long gone before the cops trace the call.”
“I’m not arguing with you, Noah.”
“Thanks.” He led the way outside without saying anything more.
Noah hailed a taxi and soon they were on the road, the motel growing smaller behind them. The driver seemed a bit intimidated by Noah’s uniform, judging by the way he kept glancing at them in the rearview mirror, but he didn’t say anything.
After sliding out of the back seat, she glanced at Noah. “Do you think he’ll call the police?”
Noah smirked. “Why would he? I am the police.”
His teasing tone made her smile. “I know that, and you know that, but he probably thinks you’re pretending to be a cop. Otherwise, why would you need a taxi?”
“Because my squad car is in Lake Michigan,” he said, tucking his hand beneath her elbow. “I’m not worried about the driver calling anyone. He has no reason to be suspicious and won’t want to cause trouble. Come on, let’s get inside.”
Having Noah beside her was nice, and she noticed several people glanced at them curiously as they entered the store. Because he was in uniform? Or because he was so attractive?
Both, she decided.
The store was playing Christmas music and there were dozens of shoppers milling around. Noah headed for the electronics section first, choosing two disposable phones. “I’m not sure I need one,” she said in a low voice. “Can’t call people I don’t remember.”
“You’ll remember soon,” he said, tucking the packages into their cart. “Are you sure you don’t want anything else?”
“Maybe gloves and a scarf, if we have enough cash left over.”
“Not a problem. This way.” He wheeled the cart down another aisle, taking her past the craft section.
A large glossy book on knitting caught her eye. She stopped, reaching out to touch the cover. It looked familiar.
The memory fragment was there, hovering just out of reach. She knew she’d seen this book before, but where? She pressed her fingertips to her temples, willing herself to remember.
“Maddy? Something wrong?”
The foggy image of this book sitting on a coffee table faded away, leaving behind a frustrated sense of urgency.
She had something important to do. Related to the trial? She didn’t know.
“Maddy?” Noah lightly grasped her arm. “What’s wrong? Is your memory returning?”
“Not really. For a moment I had an image of this book sitting on a coffee table, but that’s it. Nothing helpful.”
He slid his arm around her waist, giving her a hug. “I’m sorry, but let’s take this as a good sign. Fragments of memories are better than nothing. This may be just the beginning.”
She leaned her head against his shoulder for a moment, breathing in his reassuring woodsy scent. “Yeah, I hope so.”
He surprised her by pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Maybe we should wander around the store some more, see if anything else looks familiar.”
She smiled and shook her head. “Doubtful. Let’s find those gloves and scarves, okay?”
The items were fairly picked over, maybe because Christmas was only three weeks away. She didn’t care if the items were mismatched as long as they were warm.
After paying for their items, she ripped the tags off the gloves, hat and scarf and put them on. Noah did the same, and the few items helped her feel warmer when they went back outside.
“How about we get a bite to eat over there?” Noah gestured to a family-style restaurant. “We have an hour or so before we need to head over to the bowling alley.”
“Sounds good.”
The place was busy, maybe because of the holiday season, but they only waited a few minutes before being seated in a booth near the window. She felt self-conscious carrying all their stuff, but then realized that it probably looked as if they’d been out Christmas shopping.
Their server was a young woman who smiled and introduced herself as Cindy. Maddy ordered coffee and Noah raised a brow questioningly, even though he asked for the same. The menu was basic fare, so she opted for a veggie burger while he requested beef.
“What?” she asked, when their server went to enter their order. “Don’t I like coffee?”
He shrugged. “There’s a coffeemaker in your condo, but I can’t say for sure if you use it or Gretchen does.”
Cindy returned, filling both of their mugs with coffee. Maddy didn’t hesitate to add cream and sugar, before taking a sip. “Aah, that hits the spot.”
“You ordered hot chocolate earlier,” he said, cradling his own mug. “Did you remember liking coffee?”
“I wish. No, earlier hot chocolate sounded good, but this time, I wanted coffee.” She shrugged. “I’m still tired, could use something to help wake me up a bit.”
“Or maybe, subconsciously, your memory is starting to return.”
She stared down at her cup for a moment. Was Noah right? Were little pieces of her previous life instinctively coming back to her? First the knitting book, avoiding meat and now adding cream and sugar to her coffee?
The small flicker of hope burned brighter. She knew that with God’s love and support, anything was possible.
“More coffee?” Cindy asked. “Your food will be ready shortly.”
Maddy nodded. Their server wasn’t kidding. Five minutes later, she brought out two sandwich plates, one veggie, both with a mountain of french fries. Maddy placed her napkin in her lap, then reached for Noah’s hand.
“Let’s pray,” she said.
His warm fingers wrapped around hers, and he bowed his head, waiting for her to start.
“Dear Lord, we thank You for this food we are about to eat. We also ask that You continue healing our wounds, Noah’s bruises and my lost memory. Amen.”
“Amen,” Noah echoed. He raised his head and looked at her, continuing to hold her hand in his. “That was nice.”
She smiled. “I’m glad.”
The food was delicious, although there was no way in the world she could eat that many fries. When they finished, Noah paid Cindy, including a tip.
“Maybe we should have skipped breakfast. How much cash do you have left?” Maddy asked, winding her new scarf around her neck.
“Less than eighty bucks,” Noah admitted with a wry grimace. “But I’m sure Matt will bring some with him.”
Matt. The twin brother she couldn’t remember.
This time, it took longer to grab a taxi but the bowling alley was only ten miles away. Maddy watched as Noah paid, feeling bad that she was unable to contribute.
“Let’s head over to the coffee shop. We can see the entire parking lot from there.”
She nodded in agreement, then put her hand on his arm, stopping him from walking away. “Noah?”
He met her gaze. “What? Is there something you need?”
“You’re going to think I’m crazy, but I need a hug.”
His mouth dropped open as if stunned speechless, but then he covered his reaction by wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. “Hey, everything is going to be fine, you’ll see.”
She wanted desperately to believe that. But deep down, she was afraid that her twin would arrive and she wouldn’t remember anything.
After several moments, Noah loosened his grip. “Okay now?”
She tipped her head back to look up at him. Being held in his arms was so nice—she couldn’t remember feeling like this before. His gaze held hers questioningly, but instead of telling him, she did what she’d wanted to do since she saw him in the emergency room. Lifting herself up on her toes, she pressed her mouth against his.