Chapter Fifteen

 

In a daze, I strolled aimlessly from the library, confused and alone. Part of me hoped Kea would turn up so I could unload the myriad thoughts plaguing my mind. Instead, I only had myself to argue with.

It’s not like you didn’t do the same thing to him before, my conscience told me in a bossy tone.

“That was different,” I objected aloud, not caring if anyone heard or regarded me as crazy for talking to myself. “I did it to protect his life.”

And Micah? Of course my conscience had to bring up that topic again.

“I thought I liked him,” I admitted.

It’s better for Sully this way. Now he can be with a normal teenage girl.

I snorted. “Like Bethany is normal?”

More so than you.

“Thanks for the reminder,” I said, bitter.

Hoping to rid my annoying conscience’s voice from my head, I plugged a finger into each ear and hummed a catchy tune as my feet carried me back toward Lulu’s house. But instead of going inside, I turned for the beach and ambled across the sand, out amongst the lava rocks until I’d ventured far from everyone. Satisfied I was alone, I plunked down onto the rocks and cried until my tears ran dry.

Guilt clouded my decisions. Before, I watched my family, Lucius, and William die simply because of their association to me. And I couldn’t save the poor slave girl, Monifa, from the drowning of Atlantis or the doomed passengers aboard the sinking Titanic. All those innocent victims had experienced the wrath of the other Elementals.

But Hydros perished at my own hand after I had manipulated the fire tornado toward The Three in an attempt to silence her destructive wave from reaching shore. I remembered the grim scene all too well, the wooden spike protruding from her thin abdomen. I remembered how Gaia had held her protectively, lovingly cradling her injured body as Hydros faded from this world.

True, I had saved many lives in the Bay Area that day. But the despair of taking another’s soul outweighed all the joy I’d felt for the briefest of moments.

Why bother with my responsibilities and obligations? Where had it gotten me? Absolutely nowhere. I’d lost everyone I ever cared about in one way or another—all because of the other Elementals. All I wanted was to disappear, to go someplace where I could actually feel wanted, needed. Someplace besides here. Maybe I wasn’t cut out for this…maybe the whole world was doomed because deep down I wouldn’t commit my heart and soul to my role and refused to accept my Elemental name, Pyr.

But you managed to save Tate from the avalanche, my conscience chimed in.

I blinked. “You’re right.” A small smile filled my face, recalling Tate’s enthusiastic thank you when I dug him out of the treacherous snow. With his help, we managed to save a few other people from the tavern as well. I wiped the tears from my eyes, saddened I hadn’t reached Shannon’s pair of brothers in time. But I wasn’t a superhero; I couldn’t save everyone. Still, the relief and happiness of finding Tate alive proved a valid reason to press forward.

That’s it! Why hadn’t I realized this before? Hadn’t Pele made some offhand comment about wanting me to figure this out by myself? My smile widened. Maybe some good could still come from the pain of losing Sully.

I rose to my feet and wandered further across the lava bed that protruded into the water, far from the locals and tourists who milled around the beach. Suddenly, Kea appeared by my side, panting happily. She brushed her body against my leg so my fingers strategically touched her fur, most likely to scratch an itch between her shoulder blades.

“I’m sorry, Kea,” I apologized to the stray, like she could understand my every word. “I’m going to go away now. To a place where I’ll actually be of some good. It’s time for a new beginning for me.” I sighed, almost second-guessing my choice. “Which means I doubt I’ll ever see you again.”

She stopped panting to study me pensively with alert eyes, like she not only understood me completely, but approved of my decision.

“Thanks for the support,” I said and bent down to wrap my arms around her neck. She pressed her chin snug across my back to return my hug. “I’ll miss you,” I whispered. “You’ve been a good friend. I’m sure someone else will think so, too, and want you to be a part of their family.”

Kea pulled her head back and licked my cheek with her rough tongue. Her jaw dropped and she began to pant again, letting her hot dog breath hit me full force in the face.

“Bye, girl,” I said with a final scratch on her head. I quickly stood, eager to place some distance between my nose and her mouth.

Seconds later, her eyes left mine and focused on an object in the distance. Probably that bird again, I mused, watching the dog bound across the lava rock and out of sight.

“It’s time,” I told myself and heaved a deep breath, realizing I forgot to thank Auntie Lulu for everything she had done for me before I left. Something in the depths of my heart told me that she’d understand.

Consuming myself with white fire, I cleared my mind and recited a single thought: Take me to where I’m needed. I wanted to feel normal, needed, loved. And that could only happen if I distanced myself from Pele and let my heart dictate my next move. I’d had enough of her dangerous excursions to past destinations—this time I planned to go wherever the magic chose to send me.

The heat inside of me spread through every cell within my body. A feeling of contentment swelled in my core, radiating as soothing warmth to the tips of my appendages and into my mind.

“Take me where I’m needed,” I spoke the thought aloud in a clear voice, letting the desire consume every cell in my entire body until I believed it with all my heart. I repeated Pele’s ke ahi kea chant again and again. The warmth of contentment spread throughout my body, easing the pain of Sully’s breakup, allowing me to focus on my new direction in life.

A direction of my choosing this time, I thought with pride. Tongues of white fire lapped at my heels, spinning upward, and consuming every inch of my body. The black lava rock beneath my feet and the vast ocean stretching to the horizon faded from view. The magic spun me from this land into a fresh, exciting future.