The lawyer handed me the key to the property we were standing outside. It was or had been a small shop and, he told me, there were several rooms over the top.
‘It would sell easily,’ he suggested. ‘I believe Miss Brown did intend to sell once the last tenant left, but she changed her mind about a year or so ago.’
I unlocked the door and we went in. The whole place was dusty and needed decorating, but it was a perfect size. There was room for ten tables in here and a glass counter with my cakes and sweets. I walked through to the back, discovering a kitchen and a little sitting room. Again, it needed some work, but it would look better for a clean.
‘It’s perfect! Just what I’ve always wanted. I shall turn it into a teashop and I shall sell cakes, toasted teacakes and cucumber sandwiches.’
‘You do know that you also have two hundred pounds? Sensibly invested you would not need to work. You could sell this commercial property and buy a small cottage. The extra money it brought would provide you with an income.’
‘I can earn what I need here. I shall spend some of the money getting it just how I want it, and I shall live over the top with my children and my friend. It may be a bit of a squeeze, but we shall manage.’
‘You have three bedrooms, a dining room and a parlour, also a box room that you might have made into a bathroom for a few pounds.’
‘A bathroom? Yes, that would be nice,’ I agreed. ‘I noticed that there is some electricity. I rather like cooking on gas or a range, but it is good for other things. I shall have to have the wiring checked and make sure it is safe.’ His expression was doubtful. He thought I was too young for so much responsibility. ‘Please do not look so concerned, Mr Simpkins. This is exactly what I need.’
‘Well, if you are sure. I had a buyer for it, but I shall tell him it is not for sale.’
‘It is definitely not for sale,’ I said. ‘Thank you so much for bringing me here. I shall be in touch about the money. Perhaps you could put it into my Post Office account?’
‘I can certainly give you a cheque, but you could have an account at the bank now that you are a property owner, Mrs Holmes.’
‘Thank you, but I like the Post Office,’ I said. ‘They were happy to take my shillings when that was all I had. I think I shall stay with them.’ Jack had had a few pounds due to him when he died, which had been handed to me grudgingly by his brother Sam. I’d given most of it to the Sally Army, because I didn’t feel comfortable with keeping it, even though it was mine in law.
The lawyer was making notes and nodding. ‘Just as you please. You can collect your cheque from the office whenever you choose.’
‘I shall come tomorrow.’
Suddenly I was impatient for him to leave so that I could be alone in my wonderful shop. My mind was busy with plans for buying the tables and chairs I would need. I would have blue tablecloths and blue and white china. I needed to find out where to buy everything, but no doubt my lawyer could help me. It was all so new and exciting. And it was all due to my mother—the woman I’d known as Belinda’s Aunt Beth.
‘Thank you, Aunt Beth,’ I whispered. ‘It is wonderful. Just what I wanted and needed.’
I had a new life to look forward to now and I would try not to make a mess of things this time.
I would come tomorrow and start scrubbing the floors and the windows. But first of all, I should look upstairs at the accommodation. We were stopping at a guesthouse for now but it was a waste of money when we could be living in our own home. Even though I had more money than I could properly contemplate, I wasn’t prepared to waste it.
‘Oh, Jack,’ I whispered. ‘It is what I’ve always wanted…’ Before I’d left London I had stood by his grave, placed flowers there and said a little prayer. I’d felt then that he was with me, that he understood and didn’t blame me for the things I’d done wrong.
‘Be happy, Maggie. I love you…’
I could hear his voice as clearly as if he were with me. I spun round looking for him but I was alone. I knew he could never come back to me and yet of late I had felt that he was with me more and more.
‘I’ll always be here, Maggie…’
I felt a breath of air on my face, almost like a kiss. Jack wasn’t really here with me, but somehow, I felt that wherever he was he had forgiven me for all my sins. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that Jack had loved me and I would carry that knowledge to my grave. I had known real love. I would not need to look for it again. My brother and Beth were all I needed, and Ellen, who had a sad tale and was now my friend.
‘I love you,’ I said. ‘I wish you were here with us to share it all, Jack, but you aren’t and you can’t be. I have to do this right. I wanted to be with you, to fall into the moonlight and dissolve into that golden pool. I wanted the forgiveness of death but that isn’t possible. I have Beth and Robin to look after, and there’s Ellen too. You don’t know her, but she’s had a hard life—a lot worse than mine, believe me. I’ve got a chance now and I’m going to take it. I’m going to make a good life for all of us.’
‘That’s my girl…’
Tears caught at my throat because I could almost feel Jack with me in the room. I knew the voice came from my mind, from my memories of the happy times with him. We’d had such a short time together, but the memories were sweet now that I had forgiven myself. I could remember without guilt. It was enough.
‘I love you, Jack, but I can’t look back. I have to move on.’
I left the shop, locking the door carefully. My mind was filled with ideas for my teashop. The future had a golden glow and this time I wouldn’t let go…