Erica’s first week back at work turned out to be tiring in more ways than one. The day that she went back to work marked the beginning of horrific nightmares for Linc.
Every morning he would wake up in the early hours of the day, when the sky was still dark, and cry out for help. His cries would jolt her awake, and Erica would turn to find him sweating and shaking. Even though his eyes were always open, she could see he didn’t really know where he was. They always had the same conversation.
“Todd?”
“Oh, Rik, is that you? It’s so dark in here.”
“It’s not dark in here. Look at me, and look at where you are, and you’ll see that you’re safe.”
Relief would wash over his face when he finally realized where he was. Each night Erica would hold his hand and force herself to stay awake until he’d fallen asleep. He didn’t tell her what was happening in his nightmares, but she didn’t push him. Like everything else, he would tell her when he was ready.
This new development left them both exhausted. By the time the end of the week came, Erica was looking forward to the opportunity to spend time with Linc and reassure him she was still there for him.
They started off their weekend by having dinner with his parents on Friday night. His brother had also invited a new girl he was dating, a cute blonde named Shelly.
Erica shook her head at the way Shelly hung on Gabriel’s every word, watching everything he did without blinking. With that kind of devotion, it was no wonder the kid changed girlfriends as often as he changed his clothes.
After dinner, Gabriel and Shelly chose a movie to watch while Linc and Erica sat in the front room with his parents.
“Dinner was great, Mom,” Linc said.
“I’m glad you liked it,” Meredith said, smiling at them. “I’ve been meaning to ask, how are the two of you doing?”
Erica frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Well, you’ve had a chance to really live as husband and wife since Linc was released from the hospital,” Meredith tried to explain.
Linc’s face flushed. “Please tell me you’re not asking about sex.”
“Who’s talking about sex?” Gabriel called from the other room.
“Knock it off, Gabriel,” TJ warned.
“I was just wondering how it’s been to manage all of the changes on your own,” Meredith said.
“What are you really asking, Mom?” Linc demanded.
“We’ve all seen how close you two are.”
“So?”
“So, we’re all a little worried by how dependent you are on Erica.”
“A man should be dependent on his wife in a time of need,” TJ interjected.
Meredith blanched. “Yes, but Linc is too dependent on Erica. He clings to her and suffocates the poor girl. She has to do everything, and I’m sure it takes a toll on her.”
“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here,” Linc snapped.
Erica stared at Linc’s mother, wondering where the hell this was coming from and why she was bringing it up now. Linc had been home for months, and they’d been managing just fine. Hadn’t they?
“It bothers me that you need Erica to do everything for you,” Meredith admitted. “This poor girl has to work all day and take care of you all night. It bothers me that you sit in this house all day pining for her like you can’t exist without her.”
“What really bothers you, Mom? Are you bothered because I lean so heavily on poor Erica, or does it bother you more that I’m not leaning on you?”
“Do not speak to your mother like that,” TJ warned.
“Why is it okay for her to talk to me like I’m five years old, but it’s not okay for me to call her on her bullshit?” Linc’s voice was getting loud. “Why can she sit there and make me look like an asshole in front of my wife by pointing out how pathetic I am?”
“No swearing please,” Meredith said quietly.
“Linc, your mother’s approach may be wrong, but she’s your mother, and this is her house,” TJ said. “You will honor her as the Bible commands.”
“What about my honor and dignity?” Linc shot back. “She says I’m too dependent on my own wife. Erica understands me. She supports me and doesn’t sit in judgment of me.”
“That’s enough,” TJ said, his tone leaving no room for argument. “Please don’t make me ask you to leave.”
Erica didn’t know what to say. Despite Linc’s anger, she understood both sides of the argument. His mother was worried, as any mother would be for her son. Linc felt like she was trying to interfere in his life.
Linc jumped from the couch. Erica had never seen him move that fast on his knees before.
“I’m not letting you break us up! I’m not letting you convince her to hate me!” Linc was shouting, and he’d begun to shake.
“No one wants you two apart,” TJ said, placing a reassuring hand on Linc’s shoulder.
Linc shook him off. “Don’t touch me! I don’t like being touched!”
“I’m sorry.” TJ dropped his hand. “You need to calm down, son.”
“Don’t tell me to calm down! You didn’t spend ten days getting beat and tortured! You didn’t spend ten days in total darkness, scared shitless you would die! You’re not covered in scars that you can’t escape!”
Erica could see what was happening. She’d seen it once before, but his parents were oblivious to it. Their faces showed only how stunned they were by his outburst.
“I’m the one who spent ten days fighting for my life and my fucking sanity, getting tortured, being forced to perform like a circus animal while they laughed, listening to my buddies die! And I did it because I promised my wife I would come home alive, no matter what! We made promises to each other that we intend to keep!”
Linc shouted so loudly the house seemed to shake.
“What’s wrong with your brother?”
Erica hadn’t realized Shelly and Gabriel were standing behind them until Shelly spoke.
No one else paid any attention to them. Everyone had their eyes on Linc, who had begun backing toward the wall. His steps were slow and awkward on his bad knees so that it looked more like he was staggering. The panic in his eyes was unmistakable as his tentative grasp on reality began to slip away.
Rushing toward him, his mother tried to hug him, but he shrunk way from the touch.
“Don’t touch me! Oh Jesus Christ, please don’t touch me! God help me please! It’s too dark!”
Determined to help, Meredith tried to embrace him again.
“Stop touching me! I need Erica!” Linc shot wide eyes in her direction. “Please help me, Rikki.”
The helpless eyes of his father, the fearful gaze of Shelly, and the pain filled depth of Gabriel’s blue eyes, all looked toward Erica.
“Please stop touching him,” Erica pleaded when Meredith tried to reach for him again.
Hurt filled Meredith’s eyes, but she finally backed off.
Linc slid down the wall and drew himself into a fetal position, shaking violently. Erica approached him and dropped to her knees in front of him, making sure he could see her.
“Todd, its Rik. Look at me.”
“Can’t see you. It’s too dark.”
“No, babe, it’s not dark. Open your eyes and you’ll see.”
“I’m scared.”
“I know, but I promise I won’t let anyone hurt you. Please trust me.”
“I trust you, Rik.”
“Then open your eyes, and let me hold you. It’s okay. No one will hurt you.”
Linc crawled into her lap, sobbing as he did. “Jesus, Rik, I’m so ashamed. Everybody saw what happened.”
Though his eyes were finally open, Linc refused to look at her.
“Screw everyone else. There’s only you and me.”
“I’m sorry I’m such a loser.”
“You’re not a loser.”
“How can you love an asshole like me?”
“Because you’re my hero,” Erica said, stroking his cheek.
“Will you take me home?” he whispered.
Erica stood and helped him to his feet. She retrieved his walker and her purse. Without another word to anyone else, she took him home where he could feel safe.
Erica and Linc spent the entire Saturday alone in their apartment. Linc refused to return his mother’s worried calls. It was the first time his family had seen a flashback. Until then, she was sure they had no idea how he was struggling to adjust not just physically but emotionally.
When Linc tried to refuse to go to church on Sunday morning, Erica put her foot down.
“Okay, that’s it. I’ve had enough of this.”
“Enough of what?”
“Enough of you feeling sorry for yourself,” she explained. “If you don’t want to go to church then you don’t have to, but I’m going.”
Erica braced herself for an argument, but he gave her a wide grin.
“You’re pretty sexy when you’re mad,” Linc said. “If I go to church with you, will you come home and spend the rest of the day making love with me?”
“That’s quite a bribe, Todd Lincoln. What do you think God would say to that?”
“Probably that I was smart to try and get lucky with such a beautiful woman.”
“Nice.” Erica laughed, but she was glad he was willing to go.
Maybe pushing him was the key to helping him get over his fears. All she had to do was find a way to do that without sending him over the edge.
Less than an hour later, Erica stood beside the car as she waited for Linc to shift into the wheelchair. Since he was no longer wearing the knee braces, he didn’t really need the wheelchair, but he admitted that he preferred using it in public. In his mind, using the wheelchair was less embarrassing than the carefully measured steps he took when he used the walker.
“Ready?” Erica asked.
“Yep,” Linc said and grinned up at her. “Maybe you’ll get to see David.”
“Keep talking and I’ll find your teenage fan club and leave you alone with them.”
Laughing, Linc took hold of her hand. “Please, Rik, I’ll be good.”
“You’d better,” Erica joked as she moved behind the chair and took hold of the handles.
As if they had radar, the teenage girls that had spent their young lives pursuing Linc surrounded his chair within seconds of Erica guiding him into the church. The giggling girls cooed over Linc, asking how he was and if he was still in pain. He sat in the middle of their attention, mumbling answers to their questions, his face crimson.
“I need to talk to Gabe,” Linc said when he spotted his brother. “Excuse me, ladies.”
Erica wheeled him to the front of the church where Gabriel sat with a young fan club of his own. She couldn’t help smiling at how different the two were.
Gabriel was aware of the power of his good looks and had no trouble using it to his advantage. Linc seemed oblivious to the fact that he had any good looks at all.
“Hey, Gabe,” Linc said softly, still blushing. “Can I talk to you alone a second?”
“Okay, let’s go outside,” Gabriel agreed.
A feeling of contentment settled inside Erica as she watched the younger brother pushing his older brother. No matter what happened, they would be all right. In spite of their age difference, they were close.
David stepped in front of her. “Hello, Erica.”
“Oh, hello,” Erica said, offering him a smile. “How are you, David?”
“I’m great, thanks.” David returned the smile. “You look beautiful today.”
Erica’s eyes widened. Had Linc been right when he said David was interested in being more than Erica’s friend, or was David just being nice?
If they were anywhere but church, she might have thought Linc was right about David’s intentions. Now, she wasn’t so sure, but she was definitely uncomfortable.
“I’m married,” Erica reminded him.
David smiled wryly at her, and she was put off by the smug confidence in that smile. He didn’t have an ounce of the sweet shyness that endeared Linc to her. She suspected David was the same man in private that he was standing before her.
“You can be married and beautiful. Besides, aren’t you a little young to be Linc’s nursemaid?”
“Don’t talk about him like that, especially not in his father’s church.”
“I’m sorry,” David said, but she didn’t believe him. “What I meant was that it’s pretty obvious this is a marriage of obligation, and you deserve a little freedom.”
Remembering she was in the house of God, Erica fought hard to keep herself calm. “You don’t know the first thing about what I deserve. I’m not tied to Linc. I’m in love with him.”
“Who are you trying to convince, me or you?”
“I’m not trying to convince anyone.”
“If you say so.”
When he turned away, Erica spotted Linc behind him while Gabriel stood behind Linc’s wheelchair. One look at Linc’s face told her that he’d heard at least part of their conversation. The anger that darkened his eyes made Erica afraid he was going to pop out of his chair and start beating David right there in the middle of church.
“Nice to see you again, David,” Linc said with a tight smile.
“You too, Linc,” David said, nodding at him before moving down the aisle.
Erica stared after David with narrowed eyes. Didn’t the man have any shame for insulting the minister’s son and in church no less?
This was the kind of man who gave Christians a bad name, but she needed to forgive him. If not, that made her no better than he was.
Closing her eyes for a moment, she said a silent prayer for God to show her the way.
After lunch, Erica drove them to Linc’s parents’ house so they could have lunch with the rest of his family. When she pulled to a stop in front of the house, Erica turned off the engine but didn’t make a move to get out of the car.
“Are you all right?” Linc asked, turning to look at her.
“Yes, but I’m sorry,” Erica answered.
Linc frowned. “Why are you sorry?”
“You were right about David.”
“That’s not your fault, except for the fact that you’re so beautiful.”
“I guess I’m not a good judge of people.”
“He’s not a good Christian, coveting his neighbor’s wife.” Linc’s eyes flashed with his anger. “I heard what you said.”
“Which part?”
“The part where he said you were tied to me out of obligation and deserved freedom, and you said you weren’t tied to me because you were in love with me.”
“He also called me your nursemaid.”
“Asshole,” Linc muttered.
“Now, Linc,” Erica tried to lighten him up. “What about turning the other cheek?”
“I didn’t beat the hell out of him,” Linc pointed out. “Besides, I’ve got another cheek I can turn and he can kiss.”
Erica laughed, feeling lighter.
Gabriel suddenly appeared in front of their car and pounded his fists on the hood. “Come on, let’s eat.”
“Be right there, little man,” Linc said. “I need to talk to Erica for a second.”
“Yeah right, you two are gonna make out,” Gabriel joked.
“I guess you two talked things out,” Erica said.
“Gabriel’s an understanding brother. I’m lucky to have him.”
“You have a good family that loves you.”
“And you love me right?”
“With all my heart, body and soul.”
“Good answer.” Linc leaned in and kissed her. “By the way, I kept my part of the bargain.”
“What do you mean?” Erica asked, smiling because she knew.
“I went to church with you, so you owe me a day of lovemaking,” Linc reminded her with another kiss.
“We’ll start right after lunch,” Erica promised, melting into his arms.