“I want to take you out tonight,” Linc said.
“What?” Erica was sure she’d misunderstood him.
“We spend every night here. Let’s go out.”
“What if someone recognizes you?”
“I’ll have to deal with it.”
Although Erica had been afraid the tape of Linc’s torture being out in the open would ruin the progress of his recovery, it seemed to have only slowed it. As the weeks passed, Linc continued to refuse requests to be interviewed. These continued refusals slowed the media deluge until their interest disappeared altogether. With their interest gone, Linc was able to move forward in getting his recovery back on track.
“Where will we go?” Erica asked, warming up to the idea.
“How about somewhere nice for dinner?”
“Okay.”
Erica took extra care in getting dressed. It had been so long since she’d been dressed up. It felt good to look beautiful again. Hoping their date would go well, she chose some revealing black underwear to go with her little black dress.
Linc’s eyes widened when she emerged from their room. “Jesus, Rikki, you look so sexy.”
“Not so bad yourself.”
He wore black pants and a blue dress shirt that made his blue eyes leap out at her. His dark blond hair was perfectly combed, and he was clean shaven. Erica couldn’t remember the last time he’d looked so appealing. She always found him attractive, but there was something extra special about him at that moment.
With Linc giving directions, Erica drove to the restaurant. It turned out to be a crowded steak house with a fantastic view of the ocean.
“Do I look stupid when I walk?” Linc asked as they made their way to the double doors of the restaurant.
Erica had long grown used to his somewhat awkward gait so that she didn’t notice it anymore. She tried to see him as a stranger would.
“You don’t look stupid, but you’re obviously limping,” Erica replied.
“I guess I can live with that,” Linc conceded, holding the door open for her.
They ended up having to wait a few minutes for their table. Erica had to pee, but she was afraid to leave him alone in a crowd of strangers. Her nerves were already on high alert after watching him back up against the wall and scan the room as though he was looking for the nearest exit.
“Will you be okay if I run to the ladies room?”
“Yeah,” Linc told her, though his eyes darted around the room.
Erica did her best to get in and out, worrying about Linc the whole time. As she walked toward him, Erica noticed a group of girls whispering behind him. From the way they watched him, their eyes gleaming as their gazes roamed his profile, Erica knew they were checking him out.
Sure enough, as soon as Erica stepped up to him one of them yelled out, “Hey sexy! Nice ass!”
“She’s talking to you, Todd,” Erica informed him.
“What?” Linc frowned as he turned.
“Oh my God, he’s even better from the front. I can see his blue eyes from here.”
“Is that your girlfriend?”
“No,” Linc said.
“Then get your cute ass over here, and give us your number.”
“Can’t.”
Under any other circumstances Erica might have been mad about his refusal to come right out and say he was married. It had been so long since Linc had been able to act normal though that she could forgive a little bit of flirting, as long as it stopped there.
“Why not?” the first girl asked.
“My wife wouldn’t like it, would you?” Linc asked, turning to Erica.
The girls were in front of them so fast, Linc backed up against the wall, his eyes wide.
“You are not married,” the first one accused, grabbing Linc’s left hand to inspect his ring finger.
Linc jerked his hand away. Erica didn’t know if this was for her benefit, or if he didn’t want to be touched.
“Damn, you are married.” The girl turned to Erica. “I guess you wouldn’t be willing to loan him out for a night, would you?”
“Definitely not.” Erica laughed as the hostess came to tell them their table was ready.
Knowing he was self-conscious about his walk, Erica let Linc walk in front of her as they made their way to their table.
“I’ll bet you liked that,” Erica teased once they were seated.
“A little,” he admitted, blushing slightly. “Do you really think I have a nice ass?”
“Nice ass. Nice eyes, nice arms, nice chest, nice legs, nice lips, nice cock.”
Linc’s blush deepened. “Did you forget we’re in public?”
“Does that mean you wouldn’t kiss me?”
“I’d kiss you anywhere, anytime.”
“With tongue?” Erica leaned forward so that her face was inches from his.
Erica couldn’t explain why, but she was suddenly aroused. She suspected it had to do with how boldly he’d just been flirted with. Something about knowing she had exclusive entitlement to him and his gorgeous body excited her.
“Stop it, Rik,” Linc pleaded softly. “You’re turning me on.”
“Uh, are you ready to order?”
Erica laughed while Linc turned bright red.
“Can you give us a minute?” Linc muttered without looking at the waitress.
“Sure.”
“See what you did,” Linc admonished when they were alone.
“That was all you.” Erica shook her head. “It was your nice ass and nice—”
Linc grabbed her face in his hands and kissed her, sliding his tongue deep inside her mouth. Every nerve in her body was tingling.
“I feel lightning,” she whispered when they broke apart.
“There’s going to be a pretty big storm later on tonight, lots of thunder and lightning predicted.”
Erica’s lips curved in to a knowing smile. “Where?”
“In our bedroom,” Linc whispered.
Erica felt the familiar jolt of electricity in her stomach. From beneath the table, she slipped her foot from her shoe and lifted it to rest between his legs.
“Jesus Christ,” Linc groaned as she pressed her toes against his groin.
“You should stop taking the Lord’s name in vain,” she teased.
“You should stop making me so God damn excited,” Linc replied. “That feels so good that I don’t think I can wait much longer to fuck you.”
“Todd,” Erica gasped because he’d never talked to her like that before.
Worry filled his eyes. “Too much?”
“No, it kind of turned me on.”
“Wait ’til we get home if you think you’re turned on now.”
Though she was tempted to say screw dinner and drag him out of the restaurant, she could wait a little longer. Let the anticipation and tension build between them.
“That was intense.” Erica was still shuddering in his arms long after her orgasm was over.
From the minute they’d stepped in the door of their apartment, they couldn’t keep their hands off one another. He’d made love to her with a purpose and urgency that surprised her. He was forceful yet gentle, and she found it exciting. It also amazed her how dirty he suddenly talked to her, showing her a whole new side of his sexuality.
“I didn’t embarrass you, did I?” Linc asked.
“I’m never embarrassed with you, but you did surprise me. I liked it though.”
“I don’t know what came over me, I just felt different.”
“You won’t be like that every time, will you?”
“No, baby,” he said, placing a tender kiss on the top of her head. “I just felt so powerful and sexual tonight. You’re like this powerful drug with these incredible side effects.”
Erica smiled. “Good line.”
“It’s the truth.”
“I like that I can see you naked whenever I want.”
“My scars don’t bother you?”
Hearing the worry in his voice, Erica tilted her face up to look into his eyes as she spoke. “They never have.”
Linc held her gaze for a moment before he pulled her tighter against him. “What would you say if I told you that I wanted to make love to you all night long?”
“I’d say that was the best offer I’ve had since dinner,” Erica replied, sliding her hand to his crotch and making him groan.
Though she doubted they would be able to make love all night, Erica was more than willing to try. Scars or no scars, Linc was the sexiest man she’d ever laid eyes, and she would never get enough of him.
Erica and Linc were up early the next morning, but they didn’t get out of bed right away.
“I had a really good time last night,” Erica said.
“Which part?” Linc grinned.
Erica laughed, both at the question and the smug look in his eyes. “I meant dinner, but the sex was pretty good too.”
“Are you sure I didn’t cross the line with the way I was talking?”
“Are there any lines with us?”
“I just feel kind of dumb when I hear myself in my head saying those things.”
“That’s because it’s not in the right context.”
“I don’t know what came over me. It just felt right.”
“It was, and that instinct will tell you when it’s right again.” Still in his arms, Erica looked up at him. “You did really well for being in such a crowded restaurant last night.”
“I’ve been practicing,” Linc said, and Erica furrowed her brow.
“What do you mean?”
“Gabe’s been coming over every day after school, and we’ve been going places where there are lots of people.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I’ve wanted to take you out, but I was scared. Gabe said he’d help me.”
“You sure he’s only fifteen?”
“Yeah, fifteen going on twenty-five.” Linc laughed. “There’s no way he would’ve been scared of those girls last night.”
“And you were?”
“Yes and no. I’m not used to that kind of attention.”
“Are you sure? Since the day we met, I’ve seen girls coming on to you everywhere we go.”
Before Linc could reply, he was interrupted by the sudden ring of their telephone. Erica frowned as she looked at the clock resting atop their nightstand. It was still early for phone calls, even if they were awake.
With the phone on his side of the bed, Linc answered it. “Hello? Yes, sir, this is Linc.”
Linc went still. “Are you sure?”
His direct tone and stony expression made Erica’s heart race. She’d never seen him look so serious.
“Yes, sir, I will. We’ll be right there.”
“Who was that?”
“It was Hank.”
“So, is it the whole fellow Marine thing that makes you call him sir?” Erica teased.
Linc took her hands in his. “Erica, I need you to listen carefully to me.”
“Um, okay.”
“Your father had a car accident last night.”
“Is he okay?”
Even before he answered, Erica knew. That look he was giving her, that helpless look so full of sorrow, told her what he was going to say.
“No, baby, he’s not.”
Erica’s heart pounded even harder, the force of the beat against her ribs making it painful. “How bad is it?”
Linc took a deep breath. “He’s dead.”
Though he spoke the words she’d expected, she rebelled against them. “No, Todd.” Erica shook her head. “You’re wrong.”
“I wish I was wrong.”
“You have to be. Please. Please, tell me it’s not true.”
“I wish I could, but I can’t,” Linc said softly, his eyes filled with pain as he looked at her.
Holding his gaze, Erica waited, willing him to take back the words and make it all go away. Erica sucked in a sharp breath as she allowed his words to penetrate. Linc would never lie to her, especially not about something like this.
“Not my Daddy. Please, Linc, take it back.”
“I wish I could, baby.”
Tears slid down her cheeks, and her heart began to swell. It felt as though it was too large for her chest. Linc pulled her into his arms and held tight to her as she sobbed.
A million memories of her father passed through Erica’s mind.
He was teaching her to ride a bike. He was lying on the floor playing Monopoly with her and Aaron while the rain poured down outside. He was giving her a piggyback ride on the warm sand of the beach. He was making funny faces at her when she’d fallen and hurt herself, in order to stop her tears. He was moving out but promising he would always be there for her and Aaron. He was teaching her to drive.
He was shaking hands with Linc. He was holding her when she’d cried for Linc after he’d been captured and urging her to trust her heart and believe Linc was still alive.
“I can’t take this. It hurts too much. I can’t breathe.”
“I know it hurts, but I promise I’m gonna take care of you.”
“I can’t take this,” Erica repeated. “It’s too much. I can’t take anymore. Why does God keep doing this?”
“No, baby, don’t blame God.”
“Why not? You did.”
“I was wrong.”
“Maybe you were right,” Erica said. “I’ve been a good Christian, and look what happened. My husband gets sent to Iraq and gets captured and tortured. He comes home barely alive, and we have to spend months fixing him. He’s still broken and might never be fixed. It’s always one step forward, two steps back. Well, I’m sick of it. Not once this entire time have I complained, or even asked why, but this? This is too much. I can’t take it.”
Erica wrenched out of Linc’s arms and began pacing the floor. She couldn’t sit still any longer, nor could she look at Linc, too afraid to be undone by the anguish in his eyes.
“My father was dying while I was having sex,” Erica said softly.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. Your father would’ve died if we had sex or not.”
“Then why does it feel wrong?”
“Because it hurts, baby.”
Still sobbing, Erica threw herself onto the bed.
Linc drew her into his arms and held her a moment before speaking. “We need to get dressed and go to your mom’s.”
Erica nodded. “Okay.”
Linc rose from the bed first. Taking her by the hand, he drew her up and led her into the bathroom. Erica watched without speaking as he opened the shower door and turned on the water. When he was satisfied with the temperature, he stepped inside first. Still holding his hand, Erica followed him inside.
Erica stood under the warm water while he took care of her, washing her body and then her hair. Linc was quicker about seeing to his own needs than hers.
After the shower he turned off the water and stepped out. Pulling a towel from the rack, he wrapped it around her and then snagged one for himself. With a towel around his waist he patted her hair dry before drying himself off.
As if she were a child, he took her hand and led her back to their bedroom. While he dressed, she sat on the bed and waited for him to tell her what to do next, realizing that doing one thing at a time, doing what he told her, was the only way she could get through this.
Once he was dressed, he got her clothes out.
“Get dressed, okay, baby?”
Erica did what he said, but only because he was the one telling her to do it. Truthfully she couldn’t have cared less about being dressed. Water dripping from her hair landed on her shoulders to make her shiver.
Linc shuffled into the bathroom and returned moments later with a hair tie. “Did you want to put it up?”
Saying nothing, Erica accepted the offering. She twisted her hair into a loose bun without bothering to blow it dry or brush it first.
With an arm around her shoulders, Linc guided her from the bedroom. Outside of their apartment, he paused long enough to lock the door before he led her to the car.
Erica allowed him to open the passenger door for her and then climbed inside. It wasn’t until he was behind the wheel, turning the key in the ignition, that she realized what was happening.
“Will driving hurt your knees?”
“I’m fine. Don’t think I’m ready for a stick shift though.”
“It’s good you’re doing so well.”
“I told you I’ll take care of you now.”
“Praise God.”
Linc took her hand and pressed it to his lips. “That’s my girl.”
When they got to her mother’s house, Erica was surprised at how many people were there. She didn’t recognize all of them. She spotted her brother right away though.
Aaron sat on the couch, clutching Kristy’s hand and looking as stunned as Erica felt. As soon as he saw her, he stood and sauntered over to her.
Erica threw her arms around him. “Oh, Aaron, Daddy isn’t really gone, is he?”
“Yes,” her brother choked out. “Now he won’t be able to see me get married.”
His words opened a floodgate inside of Erica that had only been held loosely shut. There in the middle of her mother’s living room Erica and Aaron cried, not wanting to accept what they knew to be true.
People began to crowd around them, trying to console them. Even though they were trying to help, Erica wanted everyone to go away and leave them alone.
“Where’s Todd?” Erica demanded, suddenly feeling lost in a sea of strangers.
“Who?” Kristy frowned.
“Todd!” Erica called. “Todd!”
Linc parted the crowd and took Erica in his arms. “I’m right here, baby.”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“It’s okay. We’ll get though it together. I’ll take care of you.”
“Promise you won’t let go?” Erica pulled out of his arms and took his hand in hers.
“I’ll never let you go,” he promised.
“Even if I try to knock you on your ass?” Erica tried to smile.
“Not even then,” he told her softly.
Their roles had been reversed, but she was too overwhelmed with grief to wonder if he could handle it. Looking into his eyes, his gaze filled with fierce determination and love, Erica knew she had nothing to worry about.
Linc would keep his promise, just like he always did.
The next few days passed in a blur.
People streamed in and out of Carolyn’s house to offer their condolences. Many of the people who came were people Erica hadn’t seen in years, but it still meant a lot to her to see that people cared about her family.
Linc kept his promise and took care of Erica. He made sure she ate and rested and showered. He held her when she cried and gave her space when she needed it.
One of the hardest things about losing her father was cleaning out his house. Watching everyone claim things that had once been his felt like losing him again only a piece at a time. It reminded her of what a horrible daughter she’d been, how she’d been so wrapped up in Linc that she’d ignored her family while spending every waking moment with his.
Erica looked down at the picture she held in her hands.
It was a picture of her and Aaron and her father at the beach. Erica hadn’t thought about that day in years, but now she could remember it with aching clarity. The three of them had spent the day there. Their father had let them bury him in the sand, not complaining, not even when they accidentally got sand in his face.
He always did fun stuff like that, and it used to drive her mother crazy the way he could never be serious, but he could. The time Erica’s first boyfriend had dumped her the day after she slept with him, her father had been serious when he said all she had to do was say the word and Earl would hunt the boy down and make him sorry. And Erica hadn’t even told her dad why the guy dumped her. If she had then he probably would have made the boy sorry.
The time that she’d been depressed for weeks because no one asked her to the senior prom her father had been serious when he offered to take her. Erica had turned him down, but now she wished she hadn’t.
When Linc was missing in action, and Erica had been so afraid he was never coming home, her father had been serious then. He’d held her and said all the right words and been understanding about her need to be with Linc’s family while she waited for news of his fate.
“I’m a terrible person,” Erica whispered.
Linc frowned. “You’re not a terrible person. You’re the best person I know.”
“I should have spent more time with him.”
Guilt flashed in his eyes. “Your dad loved you and he understood why you guys didn’t see each other as much.”
“That doesn’t make it right, and now everyone is taking everything.” Erica swept her arms around the room. “Taking everything like it doesn’t matter that he’s gone and they’re going to keep taking it until he’s gone and there’s nothing left of him.”
Everyone in the room had stopped what they were doing, watching as she broke down. Her mother took a step toward her, but Linc put his hand up, holding her off.
“Rik, come here.” Not giving her a chance to respond, Linc took her hand and led her outside. “These are just things. They aren’t your father. He’s in your heart, and you can never lose him again.”
“I’d rather have him here with me.”
“I know, baby.”
Pulling her close to him, he kissed her forehead softly and Erica allowed herself to get lost in the strength of this amazing man.
Erica was grateful when Linc stepped in and handled the arrangements for her father’s funeral. Her father hadn’t been a religious man, but she still wanted him to have a proper funeral.
Emptying her father’s home, wiping away all traces of him, was nothing compared to the heartbreaking reality of his funeral.Watching her father’s casket being lowered into the ground, Erica was struck by a sense of finality. Her heart hurt so much to know that her father was dead, and he wasn’t coming back.
No matter what Linc or anyone else said, she should have been a better daughter. When was the last time she told him she loved him? Erica couldn’t remember, nor could she remember thanking him for all he’d done, for never abandoning them when he could have just walked away after the divorce.
The things she remembered were the things that hurt. So many times she’d yelled at him and told him that he’d never understand anything. Once, she’d even told him that she hated him, not caring about the way his face had crumpled in defeat before he’d told her to go to her room and not come out until she was ready to apologize.
Never one to admit defeat easily, Erica had stayed in her room all night, going without dinner because she was convinced she was right. A restless night of sleep followed, and the first thing she did when she woke was run to her father’s room, throwing herself in his bed and crying that she was sorry.
Her father had held her close, telling her that he forgave her, but he never wanted to hear those words from her again. He didn’t, but Erica wondered if she told him she loved him often enough. The last few days she’d been driving herself crazy trying to remember the last time she saw him, the last time she talked to him and said those three words and made him understand how much he meant to her.
“I’ll never let go, Rikki,” Linc whispered as he stood beside her.
“I don’t think I could take it if I lost you.”
Not ever but especially not now. Linc was her rock, the only one who knew how to reach her. He was the only one who knew what she needed and gave it to her without her having to ask.
“You’ll never lose me, I promise.”
Erica looked up into his solemn blue eyes, watery with his tears, hurting for her but still so damn strong. “I believe you. I know what a promise means to you.”
Linc’s arms came around her. With her head resting on his shoulder, Erica could feel his heart beating a steady rhythm against hers, and she said a silent prayer of thanks that God had given her this man.
Everyone went back to the church after the funeral. They met in the social hall for food and fellowship. Tears and sadness were set aside as everyone ate and shared their memories.
Linc stayed at Erica’s side the entire time, leaving only to bring her food or slip off to the restroom. The two of them sat at a table with Aaron and Kristy as well as Cory and Veronica and Gabriel.
“You know, Linc’s kind of surprised me the way he’s been there for you through all of this,” Cory said when Linc had gone to get Erica some more tea.
“He’s a good man,” Erica agreed.
“Yeah, but up until now he’s been totally dependent on you.”
“I told you a long time ago a marriage means taking care of each other.”
“Are you sure he hasn’t been faking it?”
“You don’t know Linc at all, do you?” Gabriel spoke up. “He’s not a halfway kind of man. Everything he does is with all of his heart, especially when it comes to Erica. He’d give up his life if he thought it would make her stop hurting.”
Cory raised her eyebrows. “Are you sure you’re only fifteen?”
“I’ll be sixteen in a couple of weeks,” Gabriel answered.
“Do you need anything else before I sit down?” Linc set Erica’s iced tea in front of her.
“Just you,” Erica said and reached for his hand.
Linc sat down beside her and stroked her cheek tenderly. “You need to eat, baby, so you’ll stay strong.”
“You know, Linc, speaking of strong, you’ve been pretty strong yourself,” Cory said.
“The day I met Erica’s father he asked if I planned on taking care of her, and I promised I would.”
Erica had forgotten about that. It meant a lot to her that he remembered. Her father would be proud of him for that.
“I wouldn’t mind finding a love like yours,” Veronica said, looking at Erica. “You have this totally gorgeous guy who’s completely in love with you and almost died trying to keep a promise to you.”
Erica glanced over at Linc who had ducked his head in an effort to hide the fact that he was blushing. Gabriel was grinning widely at Veronica’s assessment of his brother.
“I couldn’t do this without you,” Erica told Linc.
“Good thing I’m not planning on going anywhere.” Linc smiled at her.
Cory grimaced. “I’m glad you guys are in love and all, but you can be kind of disgusting.”
Erica didn’t care if they were disgusting. The love she and Linc shared wasn’t an ordinary one. They were old souls in their love, and she didn’t want it any other way.