The lass moved about the fire with deliberation. Sean would have liked to beg her to stop. Would have liked to beg her to sit and remain seated. Would have liked to beg to not have wandered down the path behind her and not seen the flash of silky pale flesh that lay hidden beneath. But he had.
With every poke and jab at the flames, her clothing molded over that flawless buttocks. What had started out as a jest—a jest? Perhaps in his own mind—was now sheer torture. Beyond having any right to demand she stop now, it seemed a just punishment for his transgression. And the painful throbbing in his groin? His penance.
When she glanced his way, she hesitated before offering him the tea as if sensing his inner turmoil.
“Nae thank ye.” He stopped her before she could fully extend the cup to him. He didn’t dare take the chance of touching her soft skin.
He watched her eat. Like a girl. Far too clean. Boys did not care if their hands were dirty before, during, or after they ate. He wanted to tell her to work harder at pretending to be a boy. To yell it at her. He wished she was better at it instead of all these constant reminders.
But no. Every graceful movement, every brushing off of her bottom at standing, every dainty swipe of the stray hairs from her face, every single morsel passing her full, red lips screamed she was a girl in boy’s clothing.
“Ye’re quite effeminate. Has anyone ever told ye that?”
He’d have liked to call the words back. The last thing he needed was for her to come clean with some confession. If she started dressing like a girl, he’d never be able to keep his hands off her.
“I have been told that. I’m sorry if that offends ye.”
“It will make it hard when we reach the sea. Some of the men there have been a long time on the ocean. Some have been a long time without a woman. Even a boy who only looks like a girl may help ease their need.”
“But how—”
“Do not ask.” Her delectable bottom came to his mind. “Just try to stop being so… so womanly.”
Tommy glanced away from the fire but he could see the shimmer of tears.
Damn. Don’t go confessing to me now.
He stood abruptly. “Well, ye best pack up and we’ll get started.”
He hoped to intercept anything she might decide to share.
She cleared her throat and stood as well.
Oh damn.
“How long will it take us?” she asked.
Sean exhaled his relief but he knew it could be just a matter of time before she may decide to make her confession. Then what? He preferred the pretending. Without the pretense, he traveled with a beautiful, desirable woman. He stomped about the small area picking up this and that.
“Canna be fast enough for me,” he said.
He shook out the soft deer hide, rolled it up, then carried it to the horse. He tied it behind the saddle followed by his shield. The animal had been fed and watered and seemed eager to be gone. He knew the feeling. The idea of having Tommy pressed against his back, especially now that he knew exactly what lay beneath, rode him hard.
Maybe a little distance would help the situation. “Can ye fill the water skins?”
She didn’t move. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed she squared her shoulders and tipped her head back. All the signs of preparing for an argument.
“Never mind. I’ll see to it.” He yanked at the skins attached to the saddle but refused to look her in the face. He took two steps—
“I have done nothing to deserve such poor treatment from ye.”
Not quick enough. Poor treatment?
Well, if that didn’t sound like something a woman would say. She would have to promise not to talk when they were in the village.
“Please!” In that one word, she managed to convey the gut-wrenching emotion of one begging for mercy from an unjust punishment.
Sean pivoted to face her. He blew an exasperated breath and pressed his lips together not even trying to hide his anger. “Are ye joking?”
Her shoulders rounded. She shook her head.
“I was on my way to the village yesterday. A happy man. Happy to be seeing an end to this damnable trip. And I would have made it to the boat by today. My companion certainly will. He’ll soon be back in Eire. On his way to his home. His family. Me? Nae. I’m still here. I had expected to be able to make it with him. Certainly. After all I’d rightfully paid for the use of a horse that could see me there. But ye,” he jabbed his finger toward her, “had other ideas. Unbeknownst to me, my horse was stolen from some sap of a boy who thought to take it back. Probably the first manly act of yer life.”
The horse properly saddled, the skins still not full, Sean leapt onto its back.
“Give me yer hand now and get on this horse like a proper lad or I swear I will leave ye behind.”
Tommy moved at lightning speed to grab the last few items and reach up to him. Sean yanked at her arm knowing full-well such treatment would probably leave her shoulder sore. He rode to the loch, slid off the horse and filled the water skins himself.
Now ready to travel, he climbed onto the horse and headed back to the trail leading down the hill. Tommy’s small hands grasped at his sides before she slammed against his back, her arms wrapped around his middle, holding on for dear life. He refused to acknowledge his body’s reaction.
The trees raced past, mimicking the blood coursing through his veins. It felt good to be on his way. It felt good to have this little bit of release. It felt good to be getting closer to his home. The steady pounding of the horse’s hooves reverberated through him. The repetition of the weightless lift then slamming down eased his tension. One with the animal. This trip would be a memory soon enough.
The wide path they followed steepened then crisscrossed the mountain. It might ease the steepness but it also increased the distance. The miles dragged by. Sean had no patience for this and spoke little, alternating between a quick trot and a slow gallop. Best left to his thoughts, he was constantly reminded he was not alone by the ceaseless shifting behind him.
“Are ye unable to sit still?”
The lass cleared her throat. “I need to take a piss.”
Sean swallowed down the laugh that nearly erupted. At least she tried to sound like a lad. He eased the horse into a stop, trying to keep the smile from his face.
Tommy rocked behind him but didn’t move to jump down.
“What are ye waiting for?” Sean spoke over his shoulder to avoid looking directly at her.
“Oh.” She shifted first to the left then to the right. When she smashed her chest against him and dropped her legs over the side, he understood why. She was apparently trying to jump down without grabbing at him for assistance. She immediately ran off to the woods.
Her breasts were a problem. A problem to his focus because he couldn’t stop thinking about them. About caressing them. About suckling them. About crushing them against him as he impaled her with his rod that seemed no longer capable of becoming flaccid. No. Not a problem as far as lusting after her went.
They were, however, a constant warning of the dangers they would face when they arrived in the village. With every awkward jolt or sudden shift, he remembered. There would be no call for her to ride behind anyone else. Perhaps he worried unnecessarily. If he could set his lust aside and see her as others might...
When she returned a short while later, a big smile of relief on her comely face, he knew he worried with good reason. She was lovely when she smiled.
“Do ye always smile so after taking a piss?” He used his most belittling tone.
Her crestfallen face tugged at his heart. It was for her own good. He strengthened his resolve.
“Ye must have been raised by a gaggle of women.” Perhaps reminding her of the roll she needed to play would help her. “But ye mentioned a brother. And a father?”
Her eyes turned dark. “Yea. I have one.”
She grabbed at the arm he extended and managed to resume her seat in one, swift movement.
“I’m impressed.”
She made a noise that reminded him of a growl. He urged his horse on. The sun was high in the sky when he decided to rest. Sean found an open field beside a brook that offered the perfect spot. He jumped down beside the water leaving the horse, and Tommy, to fend for themselves.
When he returned a short while later, Tommy didn’t hear his return. She spoke to her horse. He paused a short distance away.
“We’ll be home before ye ken it, Daisy, and then I willna let ye out of my sight.”
Perhaps she wasn’t lying about her horse being stolen—no, taken without permission.
“...surely Father will see he needs to be more particular with who he hands me off to. Look at how he treated ye! Lose ye at the first game of chance, did he? Is that what happened? Would he do any more with me?”
“And how is yer horse at conversing?” Sean continued toward the horse.
Tommy took a step away, her cheeks reddening but she said nothing. Damn. She needed to hide her emotions.
“Did I hear ye call her Daisy? What an awful name for such a fine animal.” He took the horse’s reins, standing a few feet from Tommy. “Did yer sister name her?”
A frown flashed across her face. “Ah, yea. My older sister. I… I let her name my horse. She likes flowers. Girls. Ye ken.”
“Hmm, yea, I ken.” His mouth tightened. “And yer brother?”
“Nae, he does not like flowers.”
Sean raised an eyebrow. Was she being funny now? “I asked what yer brother was like? Does he browbeat ye?”
“Browbeat me?”
“Bully ye? Boss ye about? Get his kicks at yer expense? Browbeat ye.”
“Nae! Why would ye ask that?”
“Ye’re very… girly. I wondered if mayhap he pushed ye around a lot. Making ye feel timid or afeared all the time.”
She seemed to freeze. Not a muscle twitched. Her eyes never leaving his. The intensity of that gaze worked its way into him, rippling through his arms, down to his chest, and lastly, down to his groin. He had an overwhelming urge to take her into his arms. To feel her tight up against him. His breathing slowed. Deep. Slow. Breaths. A more powerful reaction he could not remember. He gritted his teeth.
“My apologies for not being man enough for ye. I am young yet and have time to learn to be the bully I suppose I am expected to become. Saying mean things to people. Standing close enough to intimidate so they will cower beneath me. Perhaps I’ll even grow a bit to help me do just that. For now, I try to stay clear of brutish men unless I have a need for them. Then I am forced to put up with their behavior and pray that our time together will end sooner rather than later. Are we ready to continue? I hoped to be rid of ye by nightfall.”
When she finally turned away, Sean blew out a slow breath. Her passion, albeit anger, was all powerful. He yearned to unleash it and see where it would go. He would accept her fists pounding against his chest if she wanted anger. And he would accept her grinding against him as she rode him hard to her pleasure if she wanted passion. This was not an ideal situation either way. He couldn’t get to town fast enough.
She grasped the saddle and pulled herself onto the back of her mount in one smooth motion. If not for that fetching backside, he would have taken her for a lad without any problem. How would she react if he ran his hand up her thighs to grasp her bottom? Would it be anger or lust? He watched her a moment longer but she remained stiff backed, facing front, and refused to meet his gaze. Anger for certain. Outrage more than likely. He shrugged then mounted in front of her.
The horse skittered. Sean could feel the tension as well. Tommy’s breathing accelerated, her cheeks had been flushed, but no sign of tears. No. She was angry with him for his insults. He had his reasons. Reasons she was unaware as of yet. He hoped to keep it that way.
Thomasina kept her head averted and waited until the last possible moment to wrap her arms around the arrogant bastard’s middle. She’d swear he enjoyed the faster speeds just so she had to hold on tight. No doubt it made him feel all powerful.
The intimate contact grated on her nerves. Heat emanated from him. And he was so broad that when she wrapped her arms around him, her face was drawn up against him. If it had been her brother, who wasn’t nearly so broad, she would have rested her head against his back so she could be more comfortable. At present, her neck pained from the strain of holding herself up away. She was already too close. Close enough to smell his musky, manly scent.
His insults were getting hard to take. Admittedly, men teased each other. This man seemed different. This man meant to do harm. This man wanted to break her. Of course he didn’t realize she wasn’t a boy. Her life would be so much easier if she were a boy. Her father wouldn’t have used her as payment for a debt. She’d be married and bedded by some lecherous old man by now if she hadn’t snuck off. She was a person, not property. Her brother would be able to talk sense into their father and get her out of this mess. He always did.
The village came into view. A few huts scattered on either side of the road that led to the sea. A large boat made its way from the shore.
“Damn.” Sean muttered under his breath and jumped down. He yanked the lead on the horse without allowing her a chance to get down.
“What—” She coughed. “What are ye about?”
The big man didn’t even glance at her. His knuckles were white where he clenched the rein. “Ye’re to be seen and not heard. Put a lock on it.”
Thomasina, the woman, dropped her jaw ready to let lose a tirade but Tommy, the lad, slammed it shut. “Yea, sir.”
Sean stumbled slightly. She thought he was going to turn towards her but then he squared his broad shoulders. She had the sneaking suspicion he stopped himself from glancing back at her. No. That was silly.
They continued away from the houses but Thomasina decided she would listen to his order. For now. Nestled within the shelter of the trees, Sean halted the horse and secured his sword at his belt. He faced her with a stern visage. One of those ye’re-not-going-to-like-what-I-have-to-say looks. He crossed his arms. A rock settled in her stomach. This was not going to be good.
Sean paused. “Ye stink.”
She frowned then tried to sniff without being obvious to see if she could smell anything. His scent was the only thing she could pick up.
His cheek twitched. “I will not be kicked out of the only establishment here that will provide food because my companion offends the others with his odor.”
He reached toward the bag that hung beside Thomasina’s leg. When he brushed her knee, he jerked his hand away. She shifted her leg further back to give him access. He glanced at the widened juncture of her legs then up at her face. His eyes were dark. His lips parted.
“I have some things in my bag ye might be able to use to… prepare yerself to be in a room full of other brutish men. Be quick about it.”
Sean strode away, stiff backed. She jumped off the horse landing squarely on her feet then smiled. If a lad can learn how to get off a horse without help, so could she. She reached into the bag. A rolled up piece of vellum. A leine. A tunic. A strip of leather. A small hatchet. A swath of course material. She glanced over the horse’s back to where Sean had gone but saw nothing. The material would suit for binding herself. Yanking her top off, she quickly worked the material around her, pulling it tight before tucking it under itself. She ran her hands over her chest. Smooth. Perfect.
A rustling grew closer and she pulled the tunic over her head, being certain to tuck her long, auburn braid inside. Sean’s scent wafted up to her. Her eyes drifted closed. It set her heart to racing. Not all together unpleasant. Earthy. It seemed decadent to be surrounded by his aroma.
“I dinna promise ye’d have all day to do it.”
She jumped at his voice, her eyes flying open.
Sean searched her face before running his glance over her clothing. She’d swear he paused at her breasts, glancing left then right. No. It must be her imagination. Then he sniffed, moving closer even. He nodded. “Might want to roll the sleeves up. ’Tis quite a bit too large.”
He rummaged inside the bag and tossed her the strip of leather. “Ye can use that to tie up the waist.”
She belted the leather with a knot. Sean removed a smaller sack that had been hidden along the saddle and withdrew a single coin. His eyes remained on her as he hung the pouch behind his scabbard at his belt. He grabbed the horse’s lead and they walked toward the largest of the thatch-covered buildings. A group of swarthy men gathered outside the entrance. Sea men. Sean tipped his head in acknowledgment, secured the horse, then shoved Thomasina none too gently ahead of him.
“Sit there and dunna get up.” He pointed to the table tucked in the far corner of the room.
Thomasina dropped onto the bench that faced away from the door, biting her lip to keep from responding. With narrowed eyes, she watched the arrogant man swagger to the front trestle beside the fire. An open door beyond revealed the larger, cooking fire out back being seen to by an older couple. The man noticed Sean and came inside.
The small room had several tables with benches. The area was darkening fast with sunset. A single lighted lamp hung at the door. It must be more important to see who came and went than what the food looked like. The fire cast strange shadows about the room and the others present. Six men in all. She faced ahead of her, sitting in near total darkness. When she glanced back at Sean, he and the other man were gone.
Her stomach clenched. She searched the area again. More men were gathering outside. Their laughter carried and she recognized the signs of overindulgence. They were all drunk. She ducked low, hunching forward, trying to avoid being noticed. A serving lass brought her a wooden mug of cider then lit the iron lamp above her.
“Th—” Thomasina cleared her throat. “Thank ye.”
The girl came in closer then frowned. “Is there anything else you’d like?”
Thomasina drew back at her angry tone. “Nae.”
“Good!” The redhead glanced around then lowered her voice. “I don’t expect any trouble from you. Do you hear?”
Thomasina had no idea what she was talking about. “Yea. Nae trouble.”
“This is my place.” She spoke in a raspy tone as she pointed to her chest with her thumb. She leaned forward, her gown opening up for a clear view of her feminine assets. “If I see you so much as bat your eyes at any of these men, you won’t make it to wherever ’tis you’re going. Understand?”
Thomasina did not. She nodded her head. “Nae trouble.”
The lass smirked before walking away to light the lamp opposite. The men across the room followed her with their eyes. The heavier one rubbed at his gray-whiskered chin.
“The wares are good enough I’m thinking.”
The two laughed and slammed their mugs together. Fear flooded Thomasina’s chest. That girl recognized her as a woman. She pressed back into the shadows. How? Sean dropped down opposite her.
“What’s wrong? Ye look as if ye’ve seen the devil himself.”
She let out a sigh of relief which quickly shifted to panic. If it was obvious to that woman, maybe Sean knew as well. She shook her head.
Sean’s eyes rounded and he leaned in closer. “Are ye going to be sick?”
She shook her head more quickly. She had to get out of here. Where could she go?
“Nae.” She stood up, all her thoughts scattering except for one. She had to get away from this place. Now.
“Sit.”
“Nae. Ye dunna understand—” Or maybe he did. Earlier comments reminding her to behave like a boy. His knuckles grazing her breast when he shoved her. The way he watched her by the fire. She narrowed her eyes. “Ye ken dunna ye?”
Sean glanced over his shoulder, grabbing her hand. “Sit down. Ye’re calling attention to yerself.”
Her head shook violently. “Nae.”
He held her fast when she attempted to loosen his grip. “Sit, Tommy. Now.”
“I have to leave.” Her voice tight.
“Sit down.”
Others were glancing toward them.
“I told ye what type of men are here.” A warning tone. “If anyone else suspects, ’tis yer own doing. Not mine.”
Sean released his hold of her. Her knees shook. Thomasina slowly sat down. She reached for her mug. Her hands shook. She had to escape but she didn’t know where to go. The men who had been outside were coming into the room, filling up all the empty tables, standing along the walls, blocking the exit. She was overwhelmed by the sudden sense that danger surrounded her.
Sean’s large, warm hand covered hers. “Look at me.”
She jerked her eyes back to his warm eyes, rounded with compassion contradicting his demanding tone.
“Ye’ll be fine.” He smiled, a reassuring smile meant to alleviate her fears.
That’s it? No question? No demand for answers? He knew!
“How long have ye known?” When they’d lain together? Her face heated. He’d known right from the start. “Why? Why dinna ye confront me?”
He narrowed his eyes, assessing her. “Why? I cared only that ye dinna get caught.”
A few men just settling down next to them glanced at their hands. One man poked at the other, directing him with his head. They exchanged knowing smiles.
Thomasina’s breath quickened. She withdrew her hand, immediately missing his warmth, and placed it in her lap.
Sean sat up straighter. He nodded to the men beside them then turned back to her. He put his hand to his mouth as if to rub his lips. He said, “Now they think I like boys.”
She knew she looked shocked but she couldn’t seem to stop herself. Then the reality of what he told her seeped through her fear-saturated mind. “They believe I am a boy?”
“Why would they not?”
She glanced around. Everyone else had lost interest in her. No one else seemed overly concerned. “So they dunna ken?”
“Ye’re doing a fine job. Nae one else knows.”
“The serving lady. She knew.”
“She was not a lady.”
“Well, I ken that but she… she threatened me.”
He smirked, glancing down into his own mug before facing her. “I imagine she saw ye as a threat to her business.”
Thomasina’s jaw nearly dropped when she understood his meaning.
Sean handed her his cup. “Drink this. Ye’ll feel better.”
She obliged him. Not one for drinking anything stronger than cider, the liquid went down surprisingly easy.
“Thank ye.”
He smiled at her. An understanding smile. Thomasina would have sworn he hadn’t an understanding bone in his body. Mayhap there was more to the man than brawn and bullying.
Sean tensed and shifted forward in his seat. He seemed transfixed by something just beyond her. His smile shifted to one of appreciation. When Thomasina looked over her shoulder, she saw the red-haired woman coming toward the table. Her hips swaying with every step. Her gaze fixed on Sean. She placed the wooden plate complete with crusted bread covered with an aromatic broth and a hunk of meat betwixt them on the table, never taking her eyes off him.
Sean smiled, his gaze seductively surveying her wares. Tension coiled in Thomasina’s gut. She had the overwhelming urge to scratch the woman’s eyes out.
“Anything else you see that you’d like?” Her voice was honey sweet now.
Thomasina clenched her hands so tightly that her nails dug into her palms.
“Not yet.” Sean’s white teeth were in sharp contrast to his dark beard when he gave her a lopsided grin. “Dunna stray far.”
The wench leaned forward. The same technique she’d used on Thomasina but for a different reason. Sean’s smile widened at the display of her womanly attributes.
“I will be very near, ready to give you whatever you want.”
She dipped her shoulder and turned to leave. Anger uncoiled from Thomasina’s belly like a snake. Something she couldn’t control. She stuck her foot out. The redhead tripped and nearly fell except for the man at the next table who caught her.
“Well then. What have we here?” he said.
The redhead struggled to regain her composure. “Get your hands off me.”
The glare Thomasina received was quite gratifying. Where did she come off flirting with her… companion? When Thomasina finally turned back to Sean, her smug smile dropped. His gimlet eye said it all. She lowered her gaze. She prayed he wouldn’t ask her why she did that. She wouldn’t know what to answer.
“Apologies.” She hadn’t meant to anger him.
“Methinks ye’re too much.” Sean took a long pull on his mead then stood. “I need something stronger.” He grabbed the hunk of meat as if just realizing his hunger for the food. “Eat. Stay seated. And try not to call attention to yerself.”
If she hadn’t been starving, eating the food that woman brought over would be the last thing she would do. But she wasn’t the cook. Just the serving wench… and bedding wench. Thomasina glanced behind to see Sean talking to a little man in a dark cape. A shiver went down her spine. The short man stood with his legs parted as if ready to withstand anyone knocking him down. His arrogant tone carried even with all the noise around her. Sean didn’t look all that interested.
So be it. Let him stay over there and maybe she could get a little peace. When she reached for the bread, his scent wafted up from her tunic. Mayhap not so much peace.