Sean’s body screamed with every movement but he refused to show his weakness. He wouldn’t allow them to waste any more time getting Thomasina safely away. The coast was just beyond them, the salt air already surrounding them. He’d find a boat and be home by nightfall. With the weight of his heart heavy in his chest, he mounted the horse behind Lachlann.
Thomasina reached up to him, a water skin near to bursting in her hand. “Ye need to remember to drink.”
Sean nodded. “Thank ye.”
Niall offered his arm to her and she jumped up behind him as she had with Sean. She turned to him and smiled. His heart squeezed.
“Where did ye learn such a thing as that?” Niall’s amazement came through in his voice.
She dipped her chin. “I’ve been practicing.”
“Let us hope ye’ll soon not be needing the trews. Once properly dressed as a lass, that will be a bit more difficult,” Niall offered and urged his horse to lead.
Lachlann stayed to the right, following close. Sean glimpsed over the man’s shoulder at Thomasina’s fine backside. He would have enjoyed seeing her in a dress, dipped in at her narrow waist, molding to her womanly form, her hair spreading out around her. He sighed.
“What is amiss?”
Sean hadn’t realized he’d sighed out loud. “Just thinking of my many regrets.”
Lachlann slowed his horse and fell back a bit. “Have ye many?”
“Yea. The threat of the beheading brought many quickly to mind. More than I’d care to admit.”
“Any ye can turn around and rectify to yer liking?”
Sean wanted to wed Thomasina. It had felt right to call her his betrothed. His chest tightened. He wanted her with him. He couldn’t imagine himself continuing on in the boat without her. He would miss everything about her. Her smile. Her sparkling, green eyes. Her angry frowns. Her determination.
He cleared his throat. “I am afeared not. ’Tis not to be.”
“Have ye given it all ye have in ye? Like in battle? Like it were a matter of life and death?”
Life without Thomasina did not seem like much of a life. “’Tis not a simple thing.”
Lachlann stopped the horse and turned his head to speak over his shoulder. “Are ye certain, Sean? Can ye leave the love of yer life behind on the shore when ye get into that boat? Without ever knowing how she fares? Without being the one to see to protecting her?” He glanced at him. “Without being the one to see to her happiness? Knowing that ye’re the one who would lay down yer life for her?”
“I am a hunted man. They could kill me and she would be left with no one to protect her.” It was hard to breathe. “And we both know the clan must come first.”
Lachlann nodded.
Up ahead, Niall stopped and turned toward them, a frown on his face. “What is amiss?”
“Methinks the lass deserves some happiness,” Lachlann continued in his low voice.
Thomasina looked around her brother. A small smile on her lips. Her eyes fixed on Sean.
Could he really just walk away from her and this chance for happiness?
“We’re settled.” Lachlann’s voice was louder. “Stone in my shoe.”
They were quickly behind Niall who continued to the edge of the trees. The sea strand beyond. The water a deep blue with little puffs of white here and there, as far as the eye could see.
“Yea.” Sean spoke the single word aloud and his spirits rose. He knew what he had to do. He would ask Niall if he could take her to wife. He would tell him how deeply he cared for her. How he would spend the rest of his life seeing to her happiness.
The sound of voices drifted to them. Shouting. Niall pulled his horse up short just at the tree line. The words were indistinct, drowned out by the surf. Normans on foot rounded the sand dune to their left, headed toward them. They backed the horses further into the trees to remain hidden.
“What do ye think they are about?” Thomasina’s fear could be heard in her voice.
Niall patted her hand where it wrapped around his waist. “They are soldiers. I dunna ken why they would be here.”
Mounted soldiers came into view, passing the men on foot as they galloped along the water’s edge.
“If we find no sign of him, we will look again.” The man speaking wore mail. A mace, pole axe, and sword attached to his horse, readily at hand. “He will be wanting to head back to Eire like the weasel that he is.”
Thomasina gasped. “They hunt for Sean!”
“We will loop around and come to shore further north,” Niall said.
Even as he spoke dark shadows came from their right. They had the entire beach covered.
Lachlann backed up his horse until he could safely turn around.
Niall did the same, taking the lead. “Up to the loch.”
Without another word, they wove their way through the trees and away from the coast. They encountered no other soldier. By midday, Niall led them into a gully with deep sides where the water ran fresh and bracken grew along the sides. They dismounted, leading the horses to the stream.
Niall paced. His expression livid. “I canna believe they come this far north.”
Sean went down on one knee beside the water, cupping it in his hand for a drink. Guilt made it hard to swallow. They were hunting him down, putting the others in danger now. Putting Thomasina in danger.
“They believe I killed one of their own. The price on my head alone for each soldier killed would make it worth their while to hunt me down.”
Niall stopped a few feet from him. His nostrils flaring in his indignation. Sean shoved down his own wants and settled his mind.
“Ye need to continue north without me. Go to yer uncle’s clan,” Sean said. “Thomasina needs to be wed.”
“Nae!” Thomasina’s face paled. “I will not leave ye here unprotected.”
Sean smiled. “I am never unprotected, Thomasina. I’m a warrior.”
“Yea. I ken that just fine.”
Something about her tone gave him pause. “Yea?”
She rubbed her hands together then gave him a sideways glance. “Ye are a warrior first. Like when ye killed the soldier at the inn.”
“Ye killed a soldier?” Niall’s voice was higher than usual, loud and accusing. “Why did ye not tell us that?”
“He held a knife to yer sister’s throat.” Sean stood, keeping his eyes on her.
“So were ye a part of the slaughter or nae?”
Sean turned to the man. His expression stone cold. “Nae. I would take no part in the slaughtering of unarmed men. I fight to protect me and mine.”
“Did he ken I was a woman?”
Sean’s chest tightened at the memory. All around him forgotten but her, he remembered the intense need to save her. “I dunna ken for certain if he thought you a lass or a lad. When he moved to grab yer arse, he had to die.”
“Tell me how ye knew I was a lass. My effeminacies?”
“Ye behave like a woman in many ways but ye fooled the others at the inn.”
“Did I?”
Lachlann moved next to Niall.
“I canna follow.”
“Methinks they need a moment,” Lachlann said and led him a short distance away.
“So when ye killed him, were ye protecting ye or yers?”
Sean offered a quiet smile. “He offered no threat to my person.”
“Ye or yers?” Thomasina repeated her question in a small voice.
“Ye spoke like a fighter yerself and I dinna want to see ye knocked on yer arse—fine as it was.” Sean’s voice was hushed. He closed the distance between them. He needed to tell her how he felt, especially if he had to leave her behind. “Not while I was there beside ye.”
A glistening of moisture appeared on her eyelids. His breath caught in his chest. Without thinking twice he leaned down to cup her cheek and drew her in closer. He kissed her lips with the lightest pressure before pulling back slightly. “I considered ye mine. From the first.”
Her eyes rounded. “I liked to be yers.”
“Dunna make this any harder than ’tis. Ye’re ripping my heart out.”
Sean wanted to kiss her again. It didn’t matter what he wanted. Not anymore.
She licked her lips and glanced at his mouth then back to his eyes. “Kiss me like I’m yers. Just once more.”
He closed his eyes and shut out everything around them. He closed his eyes to feel every tender sensation. He closed his eyes to etch the feel of her on his heart. The kiss was tender at first. Tasting. Remembering. Mourning. When she shifted closer, his arms wrapped around her. He held her against him, where she belonged, and memorized the feel of her in his arms. Her mouth became more insistent, opening for his tongue to plunder its depths. He groaned and pulled back.
“Nae, Thomasina. This canna be for us.”
“How can I just say goodbye to ye? I dunna want to say goodbye. I want to stay with ye. Dunna ye want that?”
“More than anything in this world.”
“If Lachlann had not come in, ye’d have made love to me.” She whispered the words in the small space between their lips.
Sean took a shaky breath then crushed her against him. “’Tis all for the best.” The words he was saying made no sense even to him. “Ye’ll live up north with someone better suited to ye.”
“Ye’re suited to me.”
“I hear I’m a brute.”
Her laughter made her stomach move against him. He began to laugh as well. “Sorry I am that I said that.”
“I was being hard on ye.”
“But ye were right. I kept forgetting to behave like a boy. I think...” She pulled farther away creating a space between their bodies. “I think even then I wanted ye to see me as a woman.”
“Aye, I could see ye just fine.”
Niall cleared his throat. Sean pulled back, his face flushing with heat. He should not have given in to foolish desires. It only made it worse. Thomasina touched her finger to her lips, avoiding her brother’s eyes.
Niall glanced between the two, a hard expression. “I believe we have some things to discuss.”
Thomasina faced her brother, her hand on her hip. “Dunna be taking it out on him. I wanted him to kiss me. I made him kiss me.”
The four stood silently then Lachlann started to laugh. Niall quickly joined in and then Sean.
Thomasina’s jaw dropped. “Why are ye laughing?”
“A truly ridiculous thing to say,” Niall said.
“Ye could not make him kiss ye if ye tried.”
She gave an exasperated sigh then walked as far as the horses. “Ye’re all brainsick.”
“Tommy and I will see to the horses.” Lachlann patted Niall’s shoulder and added in a quiet voice. “Ye two talk.”
Reality gripped Sean’s throat. He could not swallow. “We were saying our goodbyes. I’m sorry I let it happen. I ken ’tis not right with her being intended for another.”
“I think we need to talk about that.”
Sean faced the stream, stiff backed. “Yea.”
“She needs to be married.”
“Yea. And what do ye need me to do?” He faced Niall.
“Marry the lass.”
Sean’s chest tightened at the words. “I thought I was not up to yer choosing.”
He could hear the bitterness in his own voice.
“She is in love with ye.”
“It is what is best for her that is important.”
Niall shook his head, a look of disbelief etched across his face. “Do ye hear yerself?”
“Yea. I hear myself fine. I ken ye need to do what is best for the clan and it will be what is best for her.”
“She does not care about the clan. I am the one who cares about the clan. Thomasina? She cares about ye.”
Sean glanced toward her, his voice quiet. “And I care about her.” He turned his intense gaze on Thomasina’s brother. “I canna love her only part way, just enough to get her away from yer father. I need to love her all the way. I need her to go back with me to Eire. I need her by my side. Can ye give her up to me?”
Niall shifted his jaw, perhaps struggling with emotions. “I love my sister. I have looked out for her my whole life. Lachlann, Aldred, and I. We protected her always. I would not let her go with anyone who would offer any less. Yea. I can give her to ye, Sean.”
The spark leapt into a flame. “I will protect her with my life.”
“I ken ye will,” Niall smirked. “It is best for her. Ye can protect her now. She’s vulnerable otherwise. As ’tis now, my father and O’Reilly could take her.”
Sean’s jaw clenched. “She will come willingly to me as my wife or I’ll not marry her. I care too much for her to take her against her will because ye’ve arranged it for her.”
Niall nodded, his eyes narrowing as if trying to see into his thoughts. Sean looked away. He had said his peace. Now it was up to Niall.
“I do not see that as a problem.” He pursed his lips together. “Do ye?”
Niall didn’t wait for his answer but extended his hand. Sean accepted the gesture.
“It is not to where we have been living. Ye have until we arrive to assure yerself of her feelings for ye. Then we sign the contract. Lachlann and I will head west and keep an eye on the Normans.” He faced Sean. “We will be back in the morning and we can plan our strategy.”
Sean paused to consider what he was offering him. Consummation so no one could gainsay his rights as her husband. In his heart, he had meant what he told her. She was his from the first.