[Ed Noon 17] • Assassins Don't Die in Bed

“All my political savvy can be written on the back of a postage stamp, but I wasn’t going to sit still for another Dallas in my lifetime.." Ed Noon, Private Eye

The President assigns Noon to bodyguard beloved American diplomat Henry Hallmark as he crosses the Atlantic on the S.S. Francesca. Once again, Noon is flung among a passenger list of strange, incredible people, like Hallmark’s dotty wife, and Gilda Tiger, the Most Beautiful Woman in the World, with her mammoth Japanese bodyguard Buddha. The final solution is what Noon has to do to Hallmark at the climax of this bizarre assignment, taking place at a London airport, and a plane bearing Hallmark heading for Eternity. This makes for the saddest choice of Noon’s career.

The Adventures of Ed Noon, Private Eye, spanning over 30 novels written between 1953 and 1990. Noon starts out dirt poor with a tiny office in Midtown Manhattan (his “Mouse Auditorium”) but success moves him to better digs, a lovely secretary (Melissa Mercer) and, eventually, the most important client of all: the President of the United States. The series concludes with a daring turn towards science fiction in the last two novels. Through it all, the wisecracking Noon is consistent: a movie and baseball-obsessed romantic who always fights the good fight. And, more often than not, wins.